a company-wide email (361 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -1.37 on 14 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by MoPed (View user info) at 2009-08-16 13:38:32 EDT
Hey I just wanted to waste some of your time by telling you about a thing I did that was in my job description. I know I get paid for it, but my hopes are that by telling you all about this hopelessly mundane transaction mundane transaction I' ll get promoted, or at least catch the eye of some over-paid and despicably corporate superior. Not only did I do what my ridiculously obvious and repetitive training tell me to do, but I also sold some trinket that was optional!!!! I put an over-abundance of exclamation points there to disguise the fact that my previous sentence was no exciting in any way!!!! I' ll phrase this whole anti-climatic anecdote in a way that will suggest that somehow my sale contributed to the company' s stockholders and benefitted the customer. By so doing, I' ll demonstrate that I too can suck enough dick to get to the top. I' ll end this entire pathetic spiel by recycling some tired and un-enthusiastic rallying phrase ike LET' S ROCK THIS MONTH! or maybe TAKING IT TO THE TOP. Whatever gets you through your coffee faster.
User Reviews
Submitted by locksly (user info) at 2009-08-17 01:25:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
this works
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2009-08-16 23:54:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Time to flush.
Buh-bye
Submitted by MoPed (user info) at 2009-08-16 22:19:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Meh ill -2 myself. Rough morning, so sue me. But I tell u what I get to read a lot of ass-kiss emails and it gets to u. Flame on, haters : )
Submitted by MIll8178 (user info) at 2009-08-16 20:50:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Can't wait for the next exciting installment that will undoubtedly chronicle your thrilling 3 minutes spent standing in front of the time stamp machine with your punch card in hand. You know you're supposed to remain seated and working until the end of your shift, but you're a REBEL!!! You got up a full three minutes early! That'll show "the man" that nobody can push you around.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2009-08-16 20:25:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You must work at the retard store.
Submitted by sandmantate (user info) at 2009-08-16 19:29:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I got bored by the middle of the second sentence.
Submitted by Chroniclysm (user info) at 2009-08-16 19:03:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This was a disgrace to half-asses everywhere.
Submitted by MoPed (user info) at 2009-08-16 15:16:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Well I wasn't aware that one could get flamed so bad cuz of a half assed attempt at humor. Thx for being less retarded than the other roamers anyway.
Submitted by HellRazer (user info) at 2009-08-16 14:57:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by MoPed (user info) at 2009-08-16 13:56:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What took u longer: reading it or rating it? Glad I could attract your misplaced angst today!
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reading it. Of course, that's my fault really. I should've bailed after the first sentence. My question for you is: If you got pissed because someone sent a company wide e-mail about them doing their job and expecting a reward for it(and don't get me wrong, that kind of shit pisses me off too), what makes you think anyone on here is going to be entertained by a FAKE e-mail doing the same thing? THIS IS FIVE TIMES MORE MEANINGLESS THAN THE E-MAIL THAT PISSED YOU OFF.
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2009-08-16 14:55:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
My bad, I forgot the rating.
minus;2
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2009-08-16 14:54:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
tl;dr
gt;fo
u
cu;nt
Submitted by MoPed (user info) at 2009-08-16 13:56:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What took u longer: reading it or rating it? Glad I could attract your misplaced angst today!
Submitted by HellRazer (user info) at 2009-08-16 13:47:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Thanks for letting me read that! You're a winner! :)
Submitted by MoPed (user info) at 2009-08-16 13:46:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Faulty copy-paste function on my G1. FTL