100k hits and why I like uber (1181 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.25 on 20 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by locksly (View user info) at 2009-08-18 05:57:49 EDT
Yes, pretty poor I know. Locksly logged in sometime in 2006 and there are only 100,000 hits racked up...
My posts have varied greatly in ratings, from a 1.86 for http://www.ubersite.com/m/98668 to a well deserved -1.56 for http://www.ubersite.com/m/118766
The topics and styles have also varied greatly:
My shortlived and illfated Hip Hop career: http://www.myspace.com/lockslyuber
Life Story in a Jpeg series: http://www.ubersite.com/m/98062
some old fashioned foolproof and sicosemen fag posts: http://www.ubersite.com/m/98722
and some sharemarket charting posts written before the meltdown: http://www.ubersite.com/m/98201
and of course some alter activity I was engaged in previous to posting as locklsy:
http://www.ubersite.com/u/paint_it_black
http://www.ubersite.com/u/georgemichael
All in all I've been lurking and posting on uber in various forms since late 04, so obviously I like uber to some degree. I think I came because it looked like something I wanted to be part of and it wasn't serious in anyway, in fact not being serious was rewarded with +2's and poor performances received an auto -2 DIE.
I stayed because... well I kind of liked baiting jpeg and his army of alters a lot, and then it became a habit I suppose.
These days its different but I still log in and see whats happening, even if its not a lot. The main reason for this is that Uber is still a community of people who get a certain sense of humour and its an outlet where you can post in jest and have fun and call simon a fag.
Some time in 2007 a Rob Berg review made me laugh and ever since then I have given him an auto plus 2, I don't read his posts anymore, its just a habit now. Sorry Berg, I'll keep handing out the +2's though.
Also the world seems to be choc full of people who think humour comes in forwarded emails, seriously. What the fuck is this all about. I know none of you think anything funny can be found in a forwarded email and thats why I like you. Compare any comicbookguy post http://www.ubersite.com/u/comicbookguy against this shitty 'funny' story that is indicative of the type of email fwds i'm talking about:
Actually don't read it just trust me, it will hurt your eyes to read it
Keep in mind the title of this was "FW: TRY to read this without laughing!" hmmmm.
I went to Walmart recently while not being altogether sure that course of
> > action was a wise one. You see, the previous evening I had prepared and
> > consumed a massive quantity of my patented 'you're definitely going to
> > s**t
> > yourself' road-kill chilli. Tasty stuff, albeit hot to the point of being
> > painful, which comes with a written guarantee from me that if you eat it,
> > the next day both of your butt cheeks WILL fall off.
> >
> > Here's the thing. I had awakened that morning, and even after two cups of
> > coffee (and all of you know what I mean) nothing happened. No 'Watson's
> > Movement 2'. Despite habanera peppers swimming their way through my
> > intestinal tract, I was unable to create the usual morning symphony
> > referred
> > to by my dear wife as 'thunder and lightning'.
> >
> > Knowing that a time of reckoning HAD to come, yet not sure of just when, I
> > bravely set off for Walmart, my quest being paint and supplies to
> > refinish
> > the den. Upon entering the store at first all seemed normal. I selected a
> > cart and began pushing it about dropping items in for purchase. It wasn't
> > until I was at the opposite end of the store from the restrooms that the
> > pain hit me.
> >
> > Oh, don't look at me like you don't know what I'm talking about. I'm
> > referring to that 'Uh, Oh, Shit, gotta go' pain that always seems to hit
> > us
> > at the wrong time. The thing is, this pain was different. The habaneras in
> > the chilli from the night before were staging a revolt. In a mad rush for
> > freedom they bullied their way through the small intestines, forcing their
> > way into the large intestines, and before I could take one step in the
> > direction of the restrooms which would bring sweet relief, it happened.
> > The
> > peppers fired a warning shot.
> >
> > There I stood, alone in the paint and stain section, suddenly enveloped in
> > a
> > noxious cloud the likes of which has never before been recorded. I was
> > afraid to move for fear that more of this vile odour might escape me.
> > Slowly, oh so slowly, the pressure seemed to leave the lower part of my
> > body, and I began to move up the aisle and out of it, just as a red
> > aproned
> > clerk turned the corner and asked if I needed any help.
> >
> > I don't know what made me do it, but I stopped to see what his reaction
> > would be to the malodorous effluvium that refused to dissipate.. Have you
> > ever been torn in two different directions emotionally? Here's what I
> > mean,
> > and I'm sure some of you at least will be able to relate. I could've
> > warned
> > that poor clerk, but didn't. I simply watched as he walked into an
> > invisible, and apparently indestructible, wall of odour so terrible that
> > all
> > he could do before gathering his senses and running, was to stand there
> > blinking and waving his arms about his head as though trying to ward off
> > angry bees. This, of course, made me feel terrible, but then made me
> > laugh.
> > .......BIG mistake!!!!!
> >
> > Here's the thing. When you laugh, it's hard to keep things 'clamped down',
> > if you know what I mean. With each new guffaw an explosive issue burst
> > forth
> > from my nether region. Some were so loud and echoing that I was later told
> > a
> > few folks in other aisles had ducked, fearing that someone was robbing the
> > store and firing off a shotgun. Suddenly things were no longer funny.
> > 'It'
> > was coming, and I raced off through the store towards the restrooms,
> > laying
> > down a cloud the whole way, praying that I'd make it before the grand mal
> > ass-plosion took place.
> >
> > Luck was on my side. Just in the nick of time I got to the john, began the
> > inevitable 'Oh my God', floating above the toilet seat because my ass is
> > burning SO BAD, purging. One poor fellow walked in while I was in the
> > middle
> > of what is the true meaning of 'Shock and Awe'. He made a gagging sound,
> > and
> > disgustedly said, 'Son-of-a-bitch! Did it smell that bad when you ate
> > it?',
> > then quickly left.
> >
> > Once finished and I left the restroom, reacquired my partially filled cart
> > intending to carry on with my shopping when a store employee approached me
> > and said, 'Sir, you might want to step outside for a few minutes. It
> > appears
> > some prankster set off a stink bomb in the store. The manager is going to
> > run the vent fans on high for a minute or two which ought to take care of
> > the problem.'
> >
> > My smirking of course set me off again, causing residual gases to escape
> > me.
> > The employee took one sniff, jumped back pulling his shirt up to cover his
> > nose and, pointing at me in an accusing manner shouted, 'IT'S YOU!', then
> > ran off returning moments later with the manager. I was unceremoniously
> > escorted from the premises and asked none too kindly not to return.
> >
> > Home again without my supplies, I realized that there was nothing to eat
> > but
> > leftover chilli, so I consumed two more bowls. The next day I went to shop
> > at KMart. I can't say anymore about that because we are in court over the
> > whole matter. Bastards claim they're going to have to repaint the store.
> >
> >
WTF
User Reviews
Submitted by sandmantate (user info) at 2009-08-23 16:07:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2009-08-20 12:25:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . _________
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ./ It's a trap! \
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . _,,,--~~~~~~~~--,_ . . . .\ ._________/
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . ,-' : : : :::: :::: :: : : : : :º '-, . . \/. . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . . . .,-' :: : : :::: :::: :::: :::: : : :o : '-, . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . . ,-' :: ::: :: : : :: :::: :::: :: : : : : :O '-, . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . .,-' : :: :: :: :: :: : : : : : , : : :º :::: :::: ::'; . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . .,-' / / : :: :: :: :: : : :::: :::-, ;; ;; ;; ;; ;; ;; ;\ . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . /,-',' :: : : : : : : : : :: :: :: : '-, ;; ;; ;; ;; ;; ;;| . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . /,',-' :: :: :: :: :: :: :: : ::_,-~~,_'-, ;; ;; ;; ;; | . . . . . . .
. . . . . _/ :,' :/ :: :: :: : : :: :: _,-'/ : ,-';'-'''''~-, ;; ;; ;;,' . . . . . . . .
. . . ,-' / : : : : : : ,-''' : : :,--'' :|| /,-'-'--'''__,''' \ ;; ;,-' . . . . . . . .
. . . \ :/,, : : : _,-' --,,_ : : \ :\ ||/ /,-'-'x### ::\ \ ;;/ . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . \/ /---'''' : \ #\ : :\ : : \ :\ \| | : (O##º : :/ /-'' . . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . /,'____ : :\ '-#\ : \, : :\ :\ \ \ : '-,___,-',-`-,, . . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . ' ) : : : :''''--,,--,,,,,,¯ \ \ :: ::--,,_''-,,'''¯ :'- :'-, . . . . . . . . .
. . . . .) : : : : : : ,, : ''''~~~~' \ :: :: :: :'''''¯ :: ,-' :,/\ . . . . . . . . .
. . . . .\,/ /|\\| | :/ / : : : : : : : ,'-, :: :: :: :: ::,--'' :,-' \ \ . . . . . . . .
. . . . .\\'|\\ \|/ '/ / :: :_--,, : , | )'; :: :: :: :,-'' : ,-' : : :\ \, . . . . . . .
. . . ./¯ :| \ |\ : |/\ :: ::----, :\/ :|/ :: :: ,-'' : :,-' : : : : : : ''-,,_ . . . .
. . ..| : : :/ ''-(, :: :: :: '''''~,,,,,'' :: ,-'' : :,-' : : : : : : : : :,-'''\\ . . . .
. ,-' : : : | : : '') : : :¯''''~-,: : ,--''' : :,-'' : : : : : : : : : ,-' :¯'''''-,_ .
./ : : : : :'-, :: | :: :: :: _,,-''''¯ : ,--'' : : : : : : : : : : : / : : : : : : :''-,
/ : : : : : -, :¯'''''''''''¯ : : _,,-~'' : : : : : : : : : : : : : :| : : : : : : : : :
: : : : : : :¯''~~~~~~''' : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : | : : : : : : : : :
-----------------------------------------
Yes!
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2009-08-20 22:31:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Liquidice281 (user info) at 2009-08-19 14:39:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
"My posts have varied greatly in ratings, from a 1.86 for http://www.ubersite.com/m/98668 "
===============================================================================================
Make that a 1.7 -- faggot.
----
that's pretty funny.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2009-08-20 12:40:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
why don't I know who you are?
Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2009-08-20 12:25:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . _________
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ./ It's a trap! \
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . _,,,--~~~~~~~~--,_ . . . .\ ._________/
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . ,-' : : : :::: :::: :: : : : : :º '-, . . \/. . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . . . .,-' :: : : :::: :::: :::: :::: : : :o : '-, . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . . ,-' :: ::: :: : : :: :::: :::: :: : : : : :O '-, . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . .,-' : :: :: :: :: :: : : : : : , : : :º :::: :::: ::'; . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . .,-' / / : :: :: :: :: : : :::: :::-, ;; ;; ;; ;; ;; ;; ;\ . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . /,-',' :: : : : : : : : : :: :: :: : '-, ;; ;; ;; ;; ;; ;;| . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . /,',-' :: :: :: :: :: :: :: : ::_,-~~,_'-, ;; ;; ;; ;; | . . . . . . .
. . . . . _/ :,' :/ :: :: :: : : :: :: _,-'/ : ,-';'-'''''~-, ;; ;; ;;,' . . . . . . . .
. . . ,-' / : : : : : : ,-''' : : :,--'' :|| /,-'-'--'''__,''' \ ;; ;,-' . . . . . . . .
. . . \ :/,, : : : _,-' --,,_ : : \ :\ ||/ /,-'-'x### ::\ \ ;;/ . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . \/ /---'''' : \ #\ : :\ : : \ :\ \| | : (O##º : :/ /-'' . . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . /,'____ : :\ '-#\ : \, : :\ :\ \ \ : '-,___,-',-`-,, . . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . ' ) : : : :''''--,,--,,,,,,¯ \ \ :: ::--,,_''-,,'''¯ :'- :'-, . . . . . . . . .
. . . . .) : : : : : : ,, : ''''~~~~' \ :: :: :: :'''''¯ :: ,-' :,/\ . . . . . . . . .
. . . . .\,/ /|\\| | :/ / : : : : : : : ,'-, :: :: :: :: ::,--'' :,-' \ \ . . . . . . . .
. . . . .\\'|\\ \|/ '/ / :: :_--,, : , | )'; :: :: :: :,-'' : ,-' : : :\ \, . . . . . . .
. . . ./¯ :| \ |\ : |/\ :: ::----, :\/ :|/ :: :: ,-'' : :,-' : : : : : : ''-,,_ . . . .
. . ..| : : :/ ''-(, :: :: :: '''''~,,,,,'' :: ,-'' : :,-' : : : : : : : : :,-'''\\ . . . .
. ,-' : : : | : : '') : : :¯''''~-,: : ,--''' : :,-'' : : : : : : : : : ,-' :¯'''''-,_ .
./ : : : : :'-, :: | :: :: :: _,,-''''¯ : ,--'' : : : : : : : : : : : / : : : : : : :''-,
/ : : : : : -, :¯'''''''''''¯ : : _,,-~'' : : : : : : : : : : : : : :| : : : : : : : : :
: : : : : : :¯''~~~~~~''' : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : | : : : : : : : : :
Submitted by locksly (user info) at 2009-08-20 04:14:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Liquidice281 (user info) at 2009-08-19 14:39:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
"My posts have varied greatly in ratings, from a 1.86 for http://www.ubersite.com/m/98668 "
===============================================================================================
Make that a 1.7 -- faggot.
__________________
:(
Now I'm going to go to your best ever post and give it a -2 as well! Oh wait, you don't post because you're a shitty alter. damn.
Submitted by Liquidice281 (user info) at 2009-08-19 14:39:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
"My posts have varied greatly in ratings, from a 1.86 for http://www.ubersite.com/m/98668 "
===============================================================================================
Make that a 1.7 -- faggot.
Submitted by locksly (user info) at 2009-08-19 05:42:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
yo lil M wassssup?
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2009-08-19 03:21:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Loooooocksley!
Hi
Submitted by willartstorg (user info) at 2009-08-19 00:38:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2009-08-18 18:50:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i farted just now in celebration
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2009-08-18 14:52:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2009-08-18 13:02:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Oh.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2009-08-18 12:03:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Paint it black was awesome - I remember how frothed up some of the dweebs got around here over that angsty emo poet savant.
...and your rap career was far too shortlived.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2009-08-18 11:56:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Luckily most of my posts don't require reading.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-08-18 09:18:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2009-08-18 09:11:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
The gayest that gay has ever been.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2009-08-18 08:47:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
AWESOME!
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2009-08-18 07:43:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Where is Shlongy in all of this???
Submitted by locksly (user info) at 2009-08-18 06:37:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
shutup wesley
Submitted by 8track (user info) at 2009-08-18 06:13:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
shutup locksly