In response to your generous offer... (380 hits)
Category: Business & FinancialRating: -0.29 on 10 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by NotApologizing (Funk'dified...QUAA) (View user info) at 2009-08-21 13:05:19 EDT
Several weeks ago I received a solicitation, for about the ten-thousandth time in my life, to trade my bank information to an internet user in Nigeria in exchange for half of $10,000,000. It baffles me that this scam is still going strong after at least 9 years and nationally publicized warnings.
Be that as it may, the latest 'offer' from the motherland inspired me to send an actual response and have a little fun with it. I've copied that response below for your reading pleasure and immediate -2 ratings.
And before you all flap your respective maws at me crying racist, do remember that my 11th-best friend is black AND I used to have an afro. The thinly veiled racism in the below is clear & intentional, and I used it as an attempt at passive means to incense/anger the recipient. Again, the below neither a) reflects my true feelings about black-Africans and slavery, nor b) any real involvement in illegal human trading.
For your reference, the phone number provided connects directly to the Secret Service Syracuse Field Office, which apparently has staff/facilities handling reporting & investigations of this particular scam. Musa Adams emailed me back and explained that there's no Salvatore Valentino located at that number. What a douche canoe...
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Dear Senator Adams,
Thank you for presenting me with this very fortunate and well-timed opportunity! Economic times are tough here in the US and all over the world, and I assure you that you could NOT have picked a better person whom to transfer Mr. Wood's estate over to.
My organization is known in a few tight circles as CagedApe, and lists reestablishment of the South Atlantic slave trade as our primary purpose and reason for existence. By generously sharing with me a portion of Frank Wood's estate, you'll be helping to ensure that thousands of native African men, women, and children will be provided an incomparable opportunity to lead productive lives and gain extremely valuable experience for their respective futures. Skills such as obedience and respect for authority are just two of the many lessons we'll teach our human capital. Again, on behalf of my entire cartel we appreciate this offer.
I've provided my bank information below - please send any further instructions related to the execution of estate transfer in a reply to this message.
Bank Name: Banco MonosCaptar de Columbia
Account #: N1664 5L4V3
Routing #: K1LN166A5
Representative: Salvatore 'Sal' Valentino
Special Instructions: Inform Sal that you're making a deposit into the primary account of Grupo di Subumani.
I wish you years of happiness with your portion of the estate. Who knows!? Maybe someday you'll enjoy coffee and papaya farmed by one of our productive African labor force.
Sincerest Thanks,
Antonio V. Morelli
(315) 448-0304
User Reviews
Submitted by Liquidice281 (user info) at 2009-08-24 10:18:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by PlatinumScarecrow (user info) at 2009-08-23 17:55:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
<emo>fuck my life</emo>
Submitted by PlatinumScarecrow (user info) at 2009-08-23 17:54:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
<b>fucking piece of shit bold</b>
Submitted by PlatinumScarecrow (user info) at 2009-08-23 17:54:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2009-08-21 15:27:57 CDT (#)
Ranking: -2
done before and better
plus fuck you for prefacing this with an excuse//apology.
fucking liar
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douche canoe above.
<b>How Doodles has rated other users</b>
Shlongy (user info) 36 on 18 = 2.00
Curious little fun fact. Looks like shlongy has a fan club.
(Doodles in the 5th grade)
Teacher says, "Ok, class, what does everyone want to be when they grow up?"
Doodles furiously waving his hand in the air blurts out, "I wanna be Shlongy when I grow up!"
But low and behold...
<b>How other users have rated Doodles</b>
Shlongy (user info) -21 on 19 = -1.11
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2009-08-23 11:48:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2009-08-21 16:27:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
done before and better
plus fuck you for prefacing this with an excuse//apology.
fucking liar
Submitted by Maddog (user info) at 2009-08-21 13:45:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It's been done. http://www.ebolamonkeyman.com/
Submitted by no1hasdis (user info) at 2009-08-21 13:33:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Not bad, but you need to lead them on more.
http://www.419eater.com/
Some of these guys get them to jump through all sorts of hoops, they've even gone far enough to convince the scammer to send them money.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2009-08-21 13:23:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Don't reply to his email saying that the accounts don't work. Let him grow impatient and call you.
Submitted by Can_Always_Trust_A_Liar (user info) at 2009-08-21 13:20:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I bet they don't even get it and try all those #s and everything.