Who am I? I, I, I? (903 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.38 on 38 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Apollo (View user info) at 2009-08-27 15:50:23 EDT
Who am I?
I am the guy who crosses the parking lot lines when its empty.
I'm the guy who only obeys rules if he's being observed, yet I'm the guy who expects other people to adhere rigidly to the rules I impose.
Why wouldn't you drive randomly across the lot? Why adhere to the lines? You'll get there quicker the other way and it'll be more fun.
Perhaps its a woman thing, women are more likely to play by the rules.
I've stopped drinking, this time its weird though. Its not as much of a struggle as usual. In fact its not a struggle at all. I had a horrific hang over / stomach ulcer issue the other week that left me feeling physically rock bottom for the next three days.
It was coming out of both ends, South Park style.
It's not like I'm a down and out addict kind of rock bottom just a 'I have no desire whatsoever to do this again' rock bottom. I've never had this before. Usually after a couple of days I am gagging for a drink. It's been over a week now!
Odd.
I had the thought this might happen as I sat naked on the toilet, puking biley blood down my belly onto my balls whilst I shat black tar out of my arse.
But I've been there before and got right back on that horse pretty much as soon as the hangover has gone.
Good old Teephahahahahahahahhhaaahpah used to talk about rock bottom. He's all clean and praising jebus now, or at least he was until he stopped responding to emails a few years ago. Now I kinda see what he means, without the jebus obviously.
What's that mate? Boozer?
Sound. See you there.
User Reviews
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-08-31 16:40:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
don't be a fucking quitter.
Submitted by PlatinumScarecrow (user info) at 2009-08-29 10:57:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This was TEH FAILZ!
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2009-08-28 23:05:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
:(
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2009-08-28 23:04:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
YOU SHUT UP APOLLO
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2009-08-28 21:37:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
bart hates you
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2009-08-28 19:12:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2009-08-28 16:39:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
stfu gaynger.
writing us off after three games is retarded even for you.
----------------
*blinks*
i'm telling bart you posted using my name
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2009-08-28 17:50:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
nice dual-end action description, top shelf
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2009-08-28 16:39:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
stfu gaynger.
writing us off after three games is retarded even for you.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2009-08-28 15:57:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
lol
i'm an alter???
hhahha
i tell you what, I've been playing the 6 year long game.
what an EXPERIMENT that would be eh?
Submitted by czwij (user info) at 2009-08-28 10:04:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
a fucking alter
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2009-08-28 08:24:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
omg you still have to play burnley
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2009-08-28 08:17:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
lol
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2009-08-28 08:17:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
There once was a scouser from Mersey
Who's head wouldn't fit through his jersey
He had a great shit
realised he was a tit
and then thanked god that villa weren't burnley
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-08-28 08:11:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
could you be puking biley blood because of the strain on your neck from supporting that 'uge noggin'?
just kidding, good for you, get yourself cleaned up!
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2009-08-28 06:32:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Parking lot?
Submitted by TechnoRatty (user info) at 2009-08-28 05:14:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good luck
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2009-08-28 00:59:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
That's the beauty of Jebus: he's observing you ALL the time, so you never cross the line.
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2009-08-27 21:57:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Why wouldn't you drive randomly across the lot? Why adhere to the lines? You'll get there quicker the other way and it'll be more fun.
That would be hypocritical of me seeing as how I T-boned someone who thought they could cut me off by crossing the lines...it was a rental, it was late, and I had sober passengers as pissed as I was.
Submitted by Premium (user info) at 2009-08-27 21:02:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Huh. And here I thought you were just a big headed asshole.
Submitted by lowsodiummonkey (user info) at 2009-08-27 20:56:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2009-08-27 20:32:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Alcoholics are the worst sort of drunks. All miserable and self destructive. Then the next day your supposed to forgive them for the stupid/nasty/gross shit they did because "I don't remember".
Fuck off.
Anyway good luck with that mate!
Submitted by Toddler (user info) at 2009-08-27 18:55:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Lame.
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2009-08-27 18:55:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
this post made me feel like drinking.
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2009-08-27 18:02:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by paranoiadestroya (user info) at 2009-08-27 17:54:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I've seen this weird fall happen to people. The previously steady footing goes. Doubt turns up in place of certainty. Lack of comfort.
Hope that's not what this is about.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-08-27 17:51:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you need a good pint of cider
Submitted by willartstorg (user info) at 2009-08-27 17:44:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
heh
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2009-08-27 17:25:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
good on you.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2009-08-27 16:52:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I cannot, in good conscience, give a + rating to a quitter.
Nothing personal.
Submitted by Mr.Bun (user info) at 2009-08-27 16:43:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Why is everyone so mean?
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2009-08-27 16:43:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Cheesy beans on toast.
Submitted by Liquidice281 (user info) at 2009-08-27 16:38:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You suck.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2009-08-27 16:12:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
undefined
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2009-08-27 16:01:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
TheUniter below...
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2009-08-27 15:58:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
yes, with irish grandparents on both sides.
there was nothing down for me.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2009-08-27 15:55:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Many parking lots are deliberately designed to induce frustration and madness. They're also quite possibly more dangerous than any other venue of transportation.
And you're a Brit, doesn't that mean that you automatically are inclined towards alcoholism (since apparently being miserable and sullen are cultural traits)?
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2009-08-27 15:54:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
hurry up and die already
Submitted by Can_Always_Trust_A_Liar (user info) at 2009-08-27 15:53:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!