My Friends Are having Kids (1500 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.29 on 95 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by iddqd (View user info) at 2009-09-04 09:09:39 EDT
And my most common daydream (i daydream a lot) is indulging myself in the sheer, total, existence-nullifying guilt of holding one of said children and accidentally dropping it.
I dont think of the actual goriness of it, the tender, delicate delicate eggshell fragile skull coming apart, the gestational brains spilling out, the heartbreakingly tiny bloodcircle; but rather the moment of silence after. the pause as the sheer momentous, glacial weight of this catastrophe rolls in like the entire ancestry of all storm clouds, a storm that would rend this ball of rock into its component atoms.
do they try to kill me there and then?
would i just resign and allow them to?
what if they let me live?
how would i feel?
how could i live.
imagine for a moment, like i do, the sheer crushing guilt of this circumstance. its this empty feeling what catholics strive for, so they can fill it with god?
---
i choose not to hold the fucking things till theyre a bit older and bouncier.
User Reviews
Submitted by Cakes (user info) at 2009-09-25 01:12:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I really didn't read this all the way through. Back in the day, I was office assistant to a football coach who ran over his 6 year old niece with a bush hog. He never knew she had fallen off till he was circling back.
I was a cheerleader and we decided not to do anything special--what could we have done?
He acted sooo norman, which seemed so abnornal. I'll never forget that.
--Anyhow, I was trying to pick an internet fight b4 bed, but this killed my mojo--once I read it, and you are a sick son of a bitch, altho you already know.
Anyhows, if you want to exchange verbal bitch-slaps, I'll be up for about another hour. Bitch.
-----
anybody top that Steven King but real life story, I really can't imagine it cept in Guberfest or however you spell it.
Submitted by Cakes (user info) at 2009-09-24 23:40:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
overly descriptive (and poorly described at that), laboured
Bring it.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-09-08 11:11:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
34 p97i eblw;o3q 083q4
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2009-09-07 21:46:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2009-09-07 02:11:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Please tell me ftw is trolling.
Is that the way is goes these days? You MSPaint your way to a million hits and the pussy just comes flying?
_____________
Not kidding.
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2009-09-07 02:11:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Please tell me ftw is trolling.
Is that the way is goes these days? You MSPaint your way to a million hits and the pussy just comes flying?
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2009-09-06 23:00:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2009-09-06 22:40:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2009-09-07 08:52:41 WST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2009-09-06 19:16:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Emission: thanks yo!
Danger: I was like 17 when I joined Ubersite. That was a long time ago
------------
phew 21 well that's a relief for a moment there I thought you were a mere child
anyway you seem to have your head screwed on so congrats even though you've totally ruined your vagina
---------
Not that DR cares about your wrecked vag, he is a flaming homo.
---------
true
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2009-09-06 22:40:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2009-09-07 08:52:41 WST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2009-09-06 19:16:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Emission: thanks yo!
Danger: I was like 17 when I joined Ubersite. That was a long time ago
------------
phew 21 well that's a relief for a moment there I thought you were a mere child
anyway you seem to have your head screwed on so congrats even though you've totally ruined your vagina
---------
Not that DR cares about your wrecked vag, he is a flaming homo.
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2009-09-06 20:52:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2009-09-06 19:16:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Emission: thanks yo!
Danger: I was like 17 when I joined Ubersite. That was a long time ago
------------
phew 21 well that's a relief for a moment there I thought you were a mere child
anyway you seem to have your head screwed on so congrats even though you've totally ruined your vagina
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2009-09-06 19:16:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Emission: thanks yo!
Danger: I was like 17 when I joined Ubersite. That was a long time ago.
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2009-09-06 17:41:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2009-09-06 14:45:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
lol
My daughter was just born today.
------------
dude you're like........sixteen.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-09-06 17:05:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2009-09-06 19:45:55 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
lol
My daughter was just born today.
===========
congrats
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2009-09-06 16:39:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment.
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2009-09-06 14:45:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
lol
My daughter was just born today.
Submitted by Replen (user info) at 2009-09-06 09:23:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2009-09-05 11:36:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You might be right...
We're planning a trip down under...in 2012. Next year, it's Scotland for a week of scotch and golf.
I have no idea what Mrs. Shlongy will be doing while we're there.
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2009-09-05 10:24:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2009-09-04 10:31:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
THIS HAS TO BE A LIE!
You can't possibly have any friends.
---
shlongy, you old reptilian fuck. im one of the few people on this site that you would enjoy having a beer with.
you never will though, because i have exquisite taste.
Submitted by Tokerson (user info) at 2009-09-05 00:29:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Grammar.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2009-09-04 21:21:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
uhi;vhjskdcc xz
v
cxv xc
v reafbf
fbe
dfbcb
Submitted by 8track (user info) at 2009-09-04 21:17:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
they are a lot tougher than you think. but don't hold one yet. or hold them sitting down.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2009-09-04 20:59:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Just tape pillows to your feet.
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2009-09-04 19:08:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
no, i mean gestational. humans have to give birth before the baby is fully developed, in particular before the skull is fully developed, or the baby would not be able to make it through the birth canal, so in a real sense, a newborn baby is still in a gestational period for a while post-birth.
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2009-09-04 15:57:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"gestational brains spilling out"
I believe you mean neonatal brains, unless you're dropping it back into the womb.
someone way below said they're having a kid in two weeks, and afraid to drop it while all slippery. I would think the greater fear is the unstoppable damage it's going to do on the way out. I wish you many many Lucks and Good Fortunes, and a sympathetic nurse. And painkillers.
*shudders*
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-09-04 12:02:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2009-09-04 11:59:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
you're pretty sexy when you get mad Sgt.
-----------------------
You're goddamn right I am.
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2009-09-04 11:59:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
you're pretty sexy when you get mad Sgt.
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-09-04 11:57:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2009-09-04 11:55:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
what your not bald?
oh crap thats right.I was thinking of chaos jester.
i always thought you two looked alike.
sorry dude.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-09-04 11:54:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
oooh look sgt flirting with uber women shock horror
=================================
what can I say im a flirt.
and you two can just fuck right the hell off!
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2009-09-04 11:55:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
what your not bald?
oh crap thats right.I was thinking of chaos jester.
i always thought you two looked alike.
sorry dude.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-09-04 11:55:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
(I don't mean fallen by uber women)
((or do i??))
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-09-04 11:54:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
oooh look sgt flirting with uber women shock horror
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-09-04 11:52:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
JUDAS ISCARIOT BELOW
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2009-09-04 11:52:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
sarge is just having a bad hair day.
oh wait he is bald isnt he?
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-09-04 11:49:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i don't like sgt on here, he is all mean and grumpy and swears
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-09-04 11:49:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
piss off you nunce.
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2009-09-04 11:48:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Faux britt below
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-09-04 11:48:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2009-09-04 11:43:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
psssssst......
Hartmans a chinaman, pass it on.
=====================
damn I wish....but I cant cook in a wok to save my life.
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-09-04 11:47:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-09-04 11:38:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
sgt, if you were really in love and your whole life planned a family perhaps you would want to do everything you could to try and have that family, screw the consequences?
we live a world where people are selfish of their own needs, there are worse deeds than having children.
Sure the world is overcrowded but look at the alternative - china.
(that was the ass whooping, do you feel whooped?? :)
also i still fear i may drop my kids all the time, especially when i am walking in flip flops or downstairs or on concrete. it's an awful sensation and it never leaves you. i did it once and he was fine, they are pretty bouncy as fg says. i wouldn't recommend a game of basket ball with them though, we are not talking super bouncy
===========================================
Seriously though, who plans their whole life to ONLY have children? There are plenty of ways to live a full and wonderful life without having children. Im not knocking those that do, but those who are so desperate to create something to love? Its depressing to watch.
If they want a baby so bad adopt one, there are plenty to go around thanks to the right wingers. Dont take fertility drugs and then have a LITTER of children thats completely unnatural (yeah thats right FUCK YOU Jon and Kate +8).
I think the problem is the misconception that its your DUTY as a human being to have children with your loved one. Like if you dont you arent living a full life. Thats just "bollocks".
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2009-09-04 11:46:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i've missed you too, pheely.
we havent talked in like forever :)
here and there, not ubering much these days.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-09-04 11:44:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Fallen, where have you been? :)
I missed you so much
!!
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2009-09-04 11:43:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
psssssst......
Hartmans a chinaman, pass it on.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-09-04 11:38:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
sgt, if you were really in love and your whole life planned a family perhaps you would want to do everything you could to try and have that family, screw the consequences?
we live a world where people are selfish of their own needs, there are worse deeds than having children.
Sure the world is overcrowded but look at the alternative - china.
(that was the ass whooping, do you feel whooped?? :)
also i still fear i may drop my kids all the time, especially when i am walking in flip flops or downstairs or on concrete. it's an awful sensation and it never leaves you. i did it once and he was fine, they are pretty bouncy as fg says. i wouldn't recommend a game of basket ball with them though, we are not talking super bouncy
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-09-04 10:54:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2009-09-04 10:51:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i new I shuld not 'a hit enter while on the fone
=====================
werd
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2009-09-04 10:51:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i new I shuld not 'a hit enter while on the fone
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2009-09-04 10:50:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Kids are useless piles of shit. I wouldn't worry too much about it.
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2009-09-04 10:46:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I was the one talking about food actually and I have as much chance having a heart attack as Hartman. Even thin people get high cholesterol.
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-09-04 10:46:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2009-09-04 10:40:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
nah they are two flat cookies with chocolate cream in the middle covered with chocolate
-------------------------
goddamn! I wish I was more of a sweets person. My rotund nature is the direct result of loving "cheeseburger" kind of foods, not sweets.
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-09-04 10:44:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2009-09-04 10:41:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
hartman......don't get too excited with all the food talk, I'd hate to heart about a heartattack in North Jersey
--------------------
I'll try to keep my maw closed and stay calm, lord knows I dont want you "hearting" about a "heartattack" in North Jersey.
I dont want you to learn to type either, its just too fun you sounding all silly and stuff.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2009-09-04 10:41:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
hartman......don't get too excited with all the food talk, I'd hate to heart about a heartattack in North Jersey
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2009-09-04 10:40:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
nah they are two flat cookies with chocolate cream in the middle covered with chocolate
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-09-04 10:36:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2009-09-04 10:31:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Tim tams are the best biscuit.
I will send you some sgt. sooo good. You bite the ends, then dunk them in your coffee and suck the coffee through. Yummm as.
-------------------------
HMMMMMM, like a....what the fuck are those cookies shaped like straws with chocolate in the middle? Pirouettes?
I cant remember now.
so its an edible straw....can I drink Jack and coke through it?
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2009-09-04 10:33:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Sarge, they're called Arnott's Biscuits here in the states. If you have an Old World Market or any place that has imported food, you should be able to find them.
They're very sweet. Almost too sweet.
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2009-09-04 10:31:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Tim tams are the best biscuit.
I will send you some sgt. sooo good. You bite the ends, then dunk them in your coffee and suck the coffee through. Yummm as.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2009-09-04 10:31:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
THIS HAS TO BE A LIE!
You can't possibly have any friends.
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-09-04 10:28:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2009-09-04 10:15:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-09-04 22:10:57 WST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck those people Forensic, not everyone should have children, hell not everyone is MEANT to have children. The world has too many people in it as it is. I mean when do you say when? if a mother has had 10 Invitro fertilizations and they have all failed, shes being pumped with fertility drugs, had three miscarriages...MAYBE you werent meant to have children. In fact nature is telling you that you arent supposed to. Get a dog and STFU.
-------------
I so agree.
Besides kids are leeches and they smell andddddddddddd they eat all the tim tams.
====================
tim tams are some soft of cookie?
Im not opposed to people having kids, im opposed to them trying to have kids like insane people DESPERATE to procreate. That quite frankly scares me.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2009-09-04 10:26:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
not all kids are bad, i find some of them to be rather cool once outside the presence of their own parents.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2009-09-04 10:23:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I am however an awesome auntie. What makes an 'auntie' different is that the child bestowes the honorary title on you him or herself.
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2009-09-04 10:15:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-09-04 22:10:57 WST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck those people Forensic, not everyone should have children, hell not everyone is MEANT to have children. The world has too many people in it as it is. I mean when do you say when? if a mother has had 10 Invitro fertilizations and they have all failed, shes being pumped with fertility drugs, had three miscarriages...MAYBE you werent meant to have children. In fact nature is telling you that you arent supposed to. Get a dog and STFU.
-------------
I so agree.
Besides kids are leeches and they smell andddddddddddd they eat all the tim tams.
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-09-04 10:10:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck those people Forensic, not everyone should have children, hell not everyone is MEANT to have children. The world has too many people in it as it is. I mean when do you say when? if a mother has had 10 Invitro fertilizations and they have all failed, shes being pumped with fertility drugs, had three miscarriages...MAYBE you werent meant to have children. In fact nature is telling you that you arent supposed to. Get a dog and STFU.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2009-09-04 10:07:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I had a co-worker come up to me and put his baby in my lap. I was like "Whoa dude you don't even know me like that."
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2009-09-04 10:07:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
it's funny how trusting parents are in thrusting their babies into other people's arms
the thing that freaked me out was the floppy neck business
also: how long has haines been wearing the lurid boots?
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2009-09-04 10:05:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I've never had the desire to have a child. Even when I was in my teens and all the girls were dreaming up names for their future babies, it just didn't click with me.
Besides, I quite enjoy the "well meaning" people who tell me how selfish I'm being and how I'll die alone and unloved.
'Scuse me? So it's unselfish to have a child you don't want just so you can be "loved" and taken care of in your old age. WTF?!
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2009-09-04 10:01:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
They come out all drippy and slimy too. ugly as well. you either drop them in fright or because they are wet.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2009-09-04 09:59:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2009-09-04 09:34:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm due in two weeks and my biggest fear is if they hand the baby to me and it slips
out of my arms like a greased football. I know it never happens but still...
===
there's a first time to everything
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2009-09-04 09:54:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2009-09-04 09:53:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
my penis.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2009-09-04 09:52:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
what part of "anansie" comes off as masculine?
==============
haha
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2009-09-04 09:54:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I hear there's a rebate.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2009-09-04 09:54:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah, I'm thinking of trading it in.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2009-09-04 09:53:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
but its a dainty little thing
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2009-09-04 09:53:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
my penis.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2009-09-04 09:52:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
what part of "anansie" comes off as masculine?
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2009-09-04 09:51:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I think we should get back to the topic at hand.
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-09-04 09:51:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
anansies a girl?
damn this Uber and its asexual names.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2009-09-04 09:50:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
We are speaking of my mother's tit, ei.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-09-04 09:47:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
is interested in anansies tit
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2009-09-04 09:44:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
or how they are planning to get back at them now.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2009-09-04 09:44:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
That was directed at id.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2009-09-04 09:44:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=518XP8prwZo&eurl=http%3A%2F%2Fbitsandpieces%2Eus%2Fpage%2F2%2F&feature=player_embedded#t=141
Sand animation
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2009-09-04 09:43:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
All well and good but I don't want to hear about it, especially when they saying it was tit for tat.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2009-09-04 09:43:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
jesus....would you be dropping it from a 10 story building, I can't imagine you're over 5'10" and your cradled arms being around 4' 4" off the ground. Baby bones are very pliable.
but I understand the idea of saying something for shock value.
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2009-09-04 09:43:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2009-09-04 21:41:26 WST (#)
Ranking: 1
You gotta love when your parents start talking about past affairs. Even funnier when they start in on your grandparents, too. Just never let them get comfortable around you again, I say.
-----------
lol yeah. it was an experience. All my best stuff goes into my reviews.
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2009-09-04 09:41:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i think its tough for guys NOT to have an affair.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2009-09-04 09:41:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You gotta love when your parents start talking about past affairs. Even funnier when they start in on your grandparents, too. Just never let them get comfortable around you again, I say.
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2009-09-04 09:38:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2009-09-04 21:34:55 WST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2009-09-04 09:27:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2009-09-04 09:25:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
you know, i wish id been a dumbass and had a kid when i was 17 or 18. i would have handled it.
----------
Wait, what? Why do you think that?
---
because i agree totally with something i read bjork said in an interview - you should either have a kid when youre 18 or when youre 38. i think ill regret not being able to actually go out and get really fucked up with my kid, should i have one, and stay the distance - ill be too old now.
----------
I drink every now and then with my folks, its weird they tell you stuff you dont want to hear.
Like " I always regret that I didn't kill that bitch your step dad had an affair with"
What dad had an affair?? :|
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2009-09-04 09:38:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
and not just 'getting fucked up', but being still young enough to really kinda be a kid with my kid, while theyre a kid.
now im too old to be anything but a parent. which is good, in a lot of ways, and im still stupid enough to be able to act like a kid, but its not the same.
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2009-09-04 09:34:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2009-09-04 09:27:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2009-09-04 09:25:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
you know, i wish id been a dumbass and had a kid when i was 17 or 18. i would have handled it.
----------
Wait, what? Why do you think that?
---
because i agree totally with something i read bjork said in an interview - you should either have a kid when youre 18 or when youre 38. i think ill regret not being able to actually go out and get really fucked up with my kid, should i have one, and stay the distance - ill be too old now.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2009-09-04 09:34:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm due in two weeks and my biggest fear is if they hand the baby to me and it slips
out of my arms like a greased football. I know it never happens but still...
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2009-09-04 09:30:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2009-09-04 09:27:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
you calling me a dumbass id?
---
yeah, i am. doesnt mean youre a bad person, or a bad parent (id guess youre a pretyt decent one) - or even that you did the wrong thing. youre still a dumbass.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-09-04 09:30:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
you would b a cracking dad
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2009-09-04 09:27:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2009-09-04 09:25:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
you know, i wish id been a dumbass and had a kid when i was 17 or 18. i would have handled it.
----------
Wait, what? Why do you think that?
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2009-09-04 09:27:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
you calling me a dumbass id?
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2009-09-04 09:25:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
you know, i wish id been a dumbass and had a kid when i was 17 or 18. i would have handled it.
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2009-09-04 09:22:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I dropped my sister on her head when she was three months old.
Didn't bleed though.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2009-09-04 09:22:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Yeah.
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2009-09-04 09:21:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i know i wont drop it, but i imagine the horrible possibility of what if i did.
its sort of pleasurable, in the sense that there is nothing else i could really do that would make me feel as guilty, as to drop someones baby through honest accident, resulting in its death - in the sense that sure there are worse things to do, but they are things you have to choose. to simply destroy the single most important thing in someones life through sheer accident, how do you live that down.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2009-09-04 09:17:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Whenever I hold babies I always get really worried that they're going to pee on me.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2009-09-04 09:16:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You won't drop it. And if you do, it'll bounce.
Personally I'd be more worried about it chunking on you.
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-09-04 09:13:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
how wildly irrational.
But funny.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2009-09-04 09:10:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I concur sir.