Beta (610 hits)
Category: Politics -> DemocratsRating: 0.22 on 16 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Poots (View user info) at 2009-09-07 11:30:53 EDT
This is the beta version of a game I have been working on for about 15 minutes. It's called TOGFTFO-uber. It's a game of chance and extacy where you put yourself in the soul of a weary traveller whom upon his/her travels finds a cave that leads into the internet. You follow the void being that your starving and think a thick juicy cheeseburger/vegiburger may be on the other side. Here are the rules:
1. You have 5 lives to live being that it's virtual life and all.
2. your goal is to reach a plus 2. to do so you will have to give me a number and on the chart/giant roulette wheel I have worked out, your corresponding number will land you on one of the links below.
2.1. If you land on a -2 your life/turn is over and you have to blow shlongy but fear not for you have 5 lives total to live so you'll have another chance to blow errrr.... gather the cheeseburger/vegiburger at the other end of the internet portal unless it's your last life. Then you shall be stuck in the internet forever stuck on shlongys' man dangle.
2.2. Some of the links are nsfw.
3.being that this is a beta I have not tested any of these links. All of them may work and none of them may which makes it kind of unpredicatble and random. We will say, for the beta, that if you land on a broken link it's like a wall of fire has blocked your passage and you shall be redirected back to where you started before that turn. No lives lost nor are ratings effected.
4. watch out for man boobs. they are very bad.
5. good luck!
http://mdh1954.files.wordpress.com/2009/05/old_hippie_very_old_hippies_1.jpg
http://blogprohealth.com/images/d/3/c/herpes-picture-std.2.jpg
http://blogs.sfweekly.com/thesnitch/assets_c/2009/04/TaxiDriver-thumb-298x425.jpg
http://karthik3685.files.wordpress.com/2007/11/neomatrix.jpg
http://c2.api.ning.com/files/LkYc36IfNZLP1p2FjpJ-cm4cNcgUXtGor46aWmGiwWl3YZc2OWpdO6SSnWKziw9gB16nCMytF53M*GQZBBy9xX0rlsOYSM6w/death_by_zombies.jpg
http://www.joystickdivision.com/shaun-of-the-dead-trio.jpg
http://z.about.com/d/animatedtv/1/0/V/r/RC3_EP41_068_zombieGroup.JPG
http://www.erchick.com/thebrokentread/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/fm475_king_kong_vs_godzilla.jpg
http://s.ecrater.com/stores/93366/49accee367f47_93366f.jpg
http://www.elftown.com/stuff/Orc_Kill.jpg?jpg=y
http://www.dailyhaha.com/_pics/sloppy_floppy_boobs.jpg
http://www.threadbombing.com/data/media/41/huge_boobs.jpg
http://www.prestigereviews.com/images/blog/manboobs1.jpg
http://dragonmage.files.wordpress.com/2009/04/danni-jiggly-ffantasy-boobs-hand.jpg
http://funny.funnyoldplanet.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/man-boobs.jpg
http://funny.funnyoldplanet.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/man-boobs.jpg
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_o2pNNpp-6E8/SeMHICDaPuI/AAAAAAAAArI/NdFQuXzbyoE/s400/boobs.jpg
http://s2.buzzfeed.com/static/imagebuzz/web02/2009/2/4/11/only-the-denise-milani-have-original-natural-boobs-31727-1233763504-0.jpg
http://writerchicktalks.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/man-boobs-300x283.jpg
http://comicstripelpaso.com/albums/beenhere/sinbad.jpg
http://content7.flixster.com/question/54/79/32/5479321_ori.gif
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/1/1a/Medusa-ClashofTitans.jpg
http://www.evilontwolegs.com/uploads/corey/toys1/cthulhu.jpg
http://song.fourcolorexplosion.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/05/ween.jpg
http://www.metal-revolution.com/images/newspost_images/poison.jpg
User Reviews
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2009-09-10 15:21:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You like hairy fat guys? Awesome.
Submitted by YourNameHere (user info) at 2009-09-09 16:37:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by PlatinumScarecrow (user info) at 2009-09-08 17:02:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by cheerios (user info) at 2009-09-08 14:03:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
theres no way im clicking any of those links.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2009-09-08 11:15:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Shlongy has a shot at some more Uber action???
Submitted by HellRazer (user info) at 2009-09-08 09:16:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2009-09-07 14:16:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
perhaps you did. There are no rules on not playing the game yet winning. soooooooo
rule number 5. no winning if you don't play
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Submitted by HellRazer (user info) at 2009-09-07 14:02:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Pretty sure I just won.
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Okay, I pick number 3,421.58. Where does that put me?
Submitted by mamboabouttostrike (user info) at 2009-09-08 00:06:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
boring random links who cares? :(
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2009-09-07 14:16:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
perhaps you did. There are no rules on not playing the game yet winning. soooooooo
rule number 5. no winning if you don't play
Submitted by HellRazer (user info) at 2009-09-07 14:02:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Pretty sure I just won.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2009-09-07 13:35:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
A number of those were incredibly random...
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2009-09-07 11:54:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
what if you did it in a kind of homo voice that reminded you of a show tunes actor and sported a sun tan city sort of tan?
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-09-07 11:50:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
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Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2009-09-07 09:26:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-09-07 04:05:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Real men don't cry. Real men don't bitch. Real men, men like me, don't give a fuck about shit. Men like me learn from their mistakes, then they make 'em again just because. Then they eat a 96 ounce steak and wash it down with a nice tall glass of buttery mashed potatoes. That's what real men do.
Real men, manly men, fix all their problems with elbow grease, beef jerky, and the American flag. Real men don't drive SUV's, real men drive Dodge trucks. Real men talk about Hemis, Angus beef burgers, and Pamela Anderson. Real men don't give two shits about World Cup soccer or Lance Armstrong. Real men boo Lance Armstrong. Real men have balls.
Manly men like me don't need women. Being manly is about not needin' shit. And womens is less than shit. Me? I jerk off to my reflection and I jizz lighter fluid. Know why? Cause I'm a real manly man.
Real men smoke Marlboro reds and ride wild stallions and drop kick rattlesnakes. Real men shave with chainsaws and guzzle Jim Beam and body slam elephants and throw special ed buses over mountains. Real men punt babies and break things. Real men eat grenades and shit mortar shells. Real men read Shakespeare. Then we laugh at how fuckin' queer it is. That's what real men do.
Real manly men don't do pilates or yoga or hee-cha kung fu fuck. Real men bench press cement trucks and hunt after grizzly bears with a moldy toothrbrush. Hell, I know this sumbitch Tom Jenkins did just that. Didn't come back alive. Died like a man though. More than I can say for you. Shit.
Know what I just did? Grew a beard. Yep. Took two seconds. Damn thing's down to my feet by now. Guess what now. Fuckin' shaved it.
Yeah. Pretty fuckin' manly. Probably goin' to the Hip Hugger later. Probably see you there. If you got the balls.
I ain't got nothin' else to say. Real men don't say much. Ya'll wanna find me, I'll be out in the middle of the street flexin' my muscles and talkin' Nascar.
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To settle a bet could you answer a question for me? Yes? Thanks! Do real men say "bingo"?
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you'd have to ask mr. bosh that one mr. poots, for that string of words is simply an old post of his which i submitted as a manly review to his manly news.
if i was to hazard a guess, it would be 'yes', as long as you snarled it manacingly while you had a steely glint in your eye.
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2009-09-07 11:50:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
fucking beta
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2009-09-07 11:49:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
shit! I forgot to add in the rules that the links have a rating value. Their values range from
-2 to +2.
also you have only 7 turns to obtain a +2.
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2009-09-07 11:33:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.forumammo.com/cpg/albums/userpics/10063/Rape-ScaryBlackDude.jpg
forgot that one
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2009-09-07 11:32:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
needs more links