Email fwds are totally funny (845 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.64 on 34 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by stok (View user info) at 2009-09-09 07:29:31 EDT
More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves me.
- Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realise you're wrong.
- Is it just me, or are 80% of the people in the "people you may know" feature on Facebook people that I do know, but I deliberately choose not to be friends with?
- Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realise I had no idea what the f*** was going on when I first saw it.
- I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really, really gets it.
- I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
- Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".
- What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?
- While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.
- Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
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- Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public, I feel like a kid on Christmas morning that just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!
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- If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.
- Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a problem ...
- You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.
- I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.
- I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren't watching this. It's only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?'
- When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
- I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.
- Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
User Reviews
Submitted by SkullBiter (user info) at 2009-09-20 18:53:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Grocery BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAG?
Submitted by cheerios (user info) at 2009-09-11 22:08:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by pandora (user info) at 2009-09-11 17:48:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by stok (View user info) at 2009-09-09 07:29:31 EDT
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I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
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Me too, even if it means I have to open the back gate with my face.
Submitted by Tokerson (user info) at 2009-09-10 12:19:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-09-10 11:56:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i don't want anymore AIDS, i have enough.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-09-10 07:49:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
lungfish is, he just gives people aids....and a beer belly apparently, he think one counters the other
Submitted by locksly (user info) at 2009-09-10 07:36:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2009-09-10 07:09:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
aids
you win aids
_____________
Well thats a shit prize. A shit prize. Who's in charge of the fucking prizes around here?
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-09-10 07:19:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i already have lungfish aids and holes in my lycra
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2009-09-10 07:09:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
aids
you win aids
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-09-10 07:05:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ive just cut and pasted this post and sent it as my own email.
what do i win?
Submitted by locksly (user info) at 2009-09-10 06:26:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
- I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really, really gets it.
- Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".
________________
A fwd email that I would actually fwd on.
that is rare in these intranets days
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2009-09-10 02:57:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you are correct. i liked this a lot.
Submitted by Sinistral (user info) at 2009-09-10 00:09:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I thoroughly enjoyed this.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2009-09-09 21:43:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
congrats this is the 5th time i've seen this on uber and the 100th time i've seen this over email.
Submitted by MajulCartoons (user info) at 2009-09-09 19:21:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
There is a Swedish proverb that I like; "Copy & Paste"
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2009-09-09 19:21:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
What I REALLY liked was how this exact post was posted by someone else, a month ago. Nice work, Exlax.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2009-09-09 19:00:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Sure...
Submitted by YourNameHere (user info) at 2009-09-09 16:28:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2009-09-09 15:24:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
There is a Swedish proverb that I like; "The lazy man would rather kill himself carrying than walk it twice.".
Quite a few of these were lovely.
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2009-09-09 13:17:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Yes they are, when they are emails.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2009-09-09 13:04:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i never read my forwards, so new to me
Submitted by no1hasdis (user info) at 2009-09-09 13:01:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Rehashed shit should get a -2, but whatever, i was bored and this provided some slightly amusing light reading.
Submitted by GaidinCanuck (user info) at 2009-09-09 12:54:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by TechnoRatty (user info) at 2009-09-09 12:16:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/123179
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2009-09-09 12:14:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by HellRazer (user info) at 2009-09-09 07:48:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
It SAYS it was posted today, but I could SWEAR I've seen this before.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2009-09-09 11:57:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
stok, you never rate my posts any more - I am disappoint
Submitted by ICO (user info) at 2009-09-09 11:53:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for this: 'I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really, really gets it.'
I have 240 dvds, most of which I love to death. When it becomes time to pick a movie on a saturday night, I start feeling the heat.
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2009-09-09 09:12:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2009-09-09 09:02:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
really?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2009-09-09 08:44:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This wasn't as shitty as your usual efforts...
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2009-09-09 08:42:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I like everything about this.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2009-09-09 07:51:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by HellRazer (user info) at 2009-09-09 07:48:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
It SAYS it was posted today, but I could SWEAR I've seen this before.
Submitted by sexualchocolate1984 (user info) at 2009-09-09 07:49:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I agree with all of the above, except the Itunes one, i don't condone Itunes...
Submitted by HellRazer (user info) at 2009-09-09 07:48:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
It SAYS it was posted today, but I could SWEAR I've seen this before.