Dear Uber, (734 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.42 on 33 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by ghola (View user info) at 2009-09-14 15:26:07 EDT
I bite my toenails. I'm a chewer. Also, sometimes I cut the calluses off the bottoms of my feet and eat them. Or I chew on them and spit them out behind the couch. I admit it. I don't do these things in front of other people, but I do them, almost daily.
And I have a hair that grows out of the mole on my face. I've been plucking it since the eighth grade when a guy named Chuck tried to yank it out for me. I hate that guy. I'll never forgive him.
I play tetris on my phone while I'm taking a shit. I won't take a book in the bathroom because I'm scared I'll be seen leaving with it.
Sometimes I pluck my eyebrows in the car because I can see better in the sunlight. I don't care if the neighbors see me because most of the neighbors are on welfare.
Just thought I'd catch up with you guys. Drop in. Say hello. Sniff butts. Whatever it is that people are doing now.
How've you been? And tell me, do you bite your toenails? Stick your finger in your butt while you're masturbating? Have you tried to lick your own sexual organs?
Sincerely,
ghola
P.S. I bought a lobster outfit for my chihuahua. I hate clothing for animals, but somehow this lobster suit is better, outshining other animal clothing and costumes.
User Reviews
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-09-21 14:59:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
well huh.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2009-09-18 11:59:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2009-09-16 21:33:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This wasn't even part of ADD, but would have made a nice entry.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2009-09-16 09:33:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I tried to lick my dick once, and all I got was a neck cramp.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2009-09-15 14:14:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You can sniff me any time.
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2009-09-15 04:18:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i stay up too late browsing shitty websites.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-09-15 03:47:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
yes they do
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-09-15 02:54:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'd like you to know new laws make that coat illegal in this country. Here, you are an outlaw.
Also, girls most certainly don't poop or toot.
Submitted by gascs (user info) at 2009-09-14 23:45:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Answer: false. Girls don't shit.
It's a scientific fact.
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2009-09-14 23:40:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I like to smell my own skin and bite the skin from the edges of my fingernails off and spit it at the cat. It's all done in provate though.
Submitted by YourNameHere (user info) at 2009-09-14 22:44:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by pandora (user info) at 2009-09-14 21:59:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ICO (user info) at 2009-09-14 15:51:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
All through the day at least one of my hands is busying itself with popping zits and extracting small, unnoticable pimples on my face. I have, on occasion, eaten the resulting semi-liquids.
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Sometimes it's torture that there are so many hot guys here.
Excuse me while I go regurgitate my lunch.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2009-09-14 21:03:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
While just about everything in this post is somewhat disturbing, I think the fact that they actually MAKE lobster costumes for small dogs bothers me the most.
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2009-09-14 20:46:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Dear Ghola,
STFU
Thanks,
Earth
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2009-09-14 18:50:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yes.
Except for the animal clothes. That's never OK. BD hats are cool though.
Submitted by reginajacks (user info) at 2009-09-14 18:48:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
meh
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2009-09-14 18:35:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hello gholabear. How's you?
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2009-09-14 18:22:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2009-09-14 17:33:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2009-09-14 16:58:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I can NEVER give dressed up animals a good rating, its just plain cruel.
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I know. I think so too. Except the damn dog is always trembling and crawling under blankets and shit. So it was either buy him a fag ass sweater or this lobster suit. And to me, the lobster suit is better than the fag sweater.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2009-09-14 17:13:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Liar, you don't take shits.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2009-09-14 17:12:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is reallllll sexy.
Or not.
Submitted by tartpumper (user info) at 2009-09-14 17:01:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Post a picture of your mole moley face!
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2009-09-14 16:58:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2009-09-14 21:08:27 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
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are you urging me to kill myself or to ease into a platonic state, much like a vegetable?
I mean, I'm just wondering. Want to make sure we're on the same page.
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I believe you mean catatonic there literature girl.
I can NEVER give dressed up animals a good rating, its just plain cruel.
Submitted by GroundHorse (user info) at 2009-09-14 16:34:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It's infected, and doesn't hurry with healing.
I should see a doctor, but he'll find out about my herpes.
bummer :(
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-09-14 16:24:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hmmm i would have to be standing up to stick my finger in my butt whilst masturbating.....hmmmm
as for licking my own cock, no way! why would i want to put my lips round that! eurgh
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2009-09-14 16:08:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2009-09-14 15:59:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Why are you alive? Why?
STOP BEING ALIVE!!!
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are you urging me to kill myself or to ease into a platonic state, much like a vegetable?
I mean, I'm just wondering. Want to make sure we're on the same page.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2009-09-14 16:03:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by GroundHorse (user info) at 2009-09-14 15:56:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Blarf above and below.My rightear smells really bad lately.
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Is it infected? Sometimes the piercing in my right ear gets infected and it has an odor, but it's not a "really bad" odor.
Or is it the inside of your ear, where the wax is and stuff?
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2009-09-14 15:59:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Why are you alive? Why?
STOP BEING ALIVE!!!
Submitted by GroundHorse (user info) at 2009-09-14 15:56:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Blarf above and below.My rightear smells really bad lately.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2009-09-14 15:55:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ICO (user info) at 2009-09-14 15:51:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
All through the day at least one of my hands is busying itself with popping zits and extracting small, unnoticable pimples on my face. I have, on occasion, eaten the resulting semi-liquids.
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I used to do that (never thought to eat them though) when I had ol face acne. I still get the occasional zit, but they are few and far between. I think it means I'm getting older.
I pull my boyfriend's gray hairs out with a pair of tweezers. They are thicker than his non-gray hairs.
Submitted by ICO (user info) at 2009-09-14 15:51:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
All through the day at least one of my hands is busying itself with popping zits and extracting small, unnoticable pimples on my face. I have, on occasion, eaten the resulting semi-liquids.
I wish I could get my gerbils a suit like that.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2009-09-14 15:32:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If you are honest, I feel certain that you are or can be equally odd.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2009-09-14 15:30:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Dear Ghola,
You are odd.
Sincerely,
Danny