Suzuki Swift (931 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: -0.5 on 16 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by moopy4u (View user info) at 2009-09-15 17:51:45 EDT
Ahhhh, The mighty Suzuki Swift. How many DO YOU see in walking one street block?
If I had a dollar for every time I saw one, I'd probably be able to BUY one!
So, The reason I'm bringing up the topic of this car specifically is because there is a competition coming up called "Stuck on Suzuki". The objective is simple. The qualifying (20) contestants at each of the 5 given locations must hold [flat], both hands on a Suzuki Swift.
The person who remains the longest without being disqualified or turning up as positive on the drug test (oh shit!) will win the Swift.
Who drives Swifts? To be honest... I would almost not be caught dead driving one of these. I've only ever seen them being driven by old people, or people who are diseased and/or dying.
But the one being given away (worth about 16,000 USD) is manual. Which kind of makes it better... The fact I see so many people drive those ugly things must mean something... Surely they are reliable, cheap to run and fun.... Right!??
So, before I bore you with more detail, feel free to check out the link below showing the competition details...
http://www.contest.co.nz/other-competitions/33055-win-suzuki-swift.html
So, if one manages to gain successful application into this competition.... Then how would they win?
It doesn't list too much about toilet breaks etc. But I think I have my bases sorted..
***Any ideas [if I actually get in] would be appreciated***
Here's what I got so far. (Problems and Conclusions.)
Problem:
Contestants must have a clean criminal & driving record.
Conclusion:
Fuck, I hope carrying passengers when you're not allowed doesn't count. Or I'm Fucked! (Shit, this isn't a conclusion...)
Problem:
Contestants must be willing to partake in a drug test.
Conclusion:
Guess I won't be able to toast up that bud I got stored in the mint tin I have for a few weeks.
Problem:
The "Winner" will not be able to drive themselves home after the competition (Due to safety reasons.)
Conclusion:
I'll bring a horse, and nobily ride off into the sunset.
Problem:
There's alot of rules & fine lines..
Conclusion:
I'll acknowledge I have read them, and PRETEND that I care.
Main Advantages:
Both hands must remain flat on the car at all times... You're allowed 10 minute breaks however now and again...
Hmmm... Toilet breaks? What if I need one...
I need some kinds of ideas/advice....
Here's what I got so far... (Feedback and Ideas appreciated)
I will take a huge dump the night before. Then the next day before I go, will take a mean piss and another dump. (Empty out... Laxitives perhaps?)
To keep me amused... Well... I can't use my hands. But I will however have a support crew... How can I use this to my advantage? What can I do to kill time?
To minimise toilet stops, I have an idea on taping a bottle to my leg, and have a tube running to my Mr. Connor so I can pee freely. (I call him Mr. Connor, 'Cos I know a guy called Connor, and he's a dick!)
Is there some kind of un-noticable method of keeping my hands on the car without effort? Keeping in mind the judges may ask you to move along the car (without removing your hands) at any time.... Hmmm...
Finally.... What colour should I get?
User Reviews
Submitted by moopy4u (user info) at 2009-09-21 19:26:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
My bad? I've been too busy being kicked out of home to ware a deceint article. Maybe one day Scourge... Maybe one day!
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-09-21 14:41:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
moopy moopy moopy... i had such high hopes for you and this is the thanks i get in return?
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2009-09-17 22:23:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
its a statement of fact.
Submitted by moopy4u (user info) at 2009-09-17 21:19:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Gaylord is hardly an insult?...
You should take a word from your daddy's dictionary. Get off his legs and open a book instead.
Cock for Cash.
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2009-09-16 22:41:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
fuck youre a gaylord
Submitted by willartstorg (user info) at 2009-09-16 20:41:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
urp
Submitted by moopy4u (user info) at 2009-09-16 19:22:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Half of you haven't seen or heard of a Swift.... Fuck how I envy you.
And if I did win it, I guess yeah... I'd sell it.
I don't know why I'd post this either. Same reason everyone else posts stuff. Bored @ Work.
Submitted by FATMANTPK (user info) at 2009-09-16 15:06:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Here in the US, the Swift used to be the Suzuki labeled Geo Metro. Not sure if that still holds true as I have not seen, nor do I know if Chevy still makes the Metro.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2009-09-16 12:54:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Wear a geriatric diaper.
Submitted by spuj (user info) at 2009-09-16 09:15:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
win the car
then sell it and buy something better
Submitted by ICO (user info) at 2009-09-16 07:21:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
The Swifts have fallen into a patch of bad publicity over here in Holland because someone driving one plowed through a crowd during a celebration. At that particular place and time there were at least 6 people with professional cameras that got it all on tape.
Right before the guy died after he crashed into a pillar he told the police he was trying to hit the queen, who was a hundred feet away in a huge bus.
Still, I can't see why you would post this.
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2009-09-16 03:04:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Why the fuck would they have a drugs test? I can't see any advantage that drugs would bring to this particular event.
But you're right, Suzuki Swifts are shit. Not quite as bad as a Ford Ka, but still shit.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2009-09-15 22:07:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Um, what ARE you talking about? A car??? Who cares?
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2009-09-15 18:07:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You're an idiot.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2009-09-15 18:05:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Never seen one...never heard of one...wish I never heard of this post.
Submitted by GroundHorse (user info) at 2009-09-15 18:01:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
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