Man's Best Fiend (1503 hits)
Category: Computers & InternetRating: 1.95 on 71 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (View user info) at 2009-09-22 17:12:06 EDT
First thing I want to get out in the air before I start; I hate dogs. I used to work in a warehouse that catered to their "organic and natural" needs and saw them firsthand being worshipped like Stalin and other great rock musical acts from the 70's such as Boston and Captain Beefheart. You know what they like to eat for a snack? I do, and it's bulldick. They chew on a dehydrated bull penis like it's saltwater taffy and gallivant themselves around with it hanging out of their mouth like a cigar, inciting a string of dumbass comments about their likelihood to Humphrey Bogart, which is honestly kind of fucked up since he's dead.
You're in love with these animals as well, I would assume. Probably own one for all I know. You're like, what, thirty-eight if I had to guess by your appearance, and you have no children for whatever reason (you're ugly, horrid person, stupid), so now you got some dumbass dog running your life to compensate and channel all your hopes and dreams into. You make him play pop warner football and you bully your way onto the team as offensive line coach, which is whatever he plays cornerback because he's quick and has a low center of balance but still you're out there with him man, every practice whether it's rain or tornados made of rain you're out there watching that dog grow into some sort of older dog which will eventually die in two years when it gets hit by an ice cream truck, but fuck it YOU AREN'T AWARE OF THIS SOUL CRUSHING KNOWLEDGE YET. This dog, the way he runs, reminds you of yourself when you played football, except you were like eighty times worse than this dog that doesn't even know how to hold the ball correctly when he's being tackled. They couldn't even fit the dog for pads because they were like, it's a fucking dog and I'm pretty sure this is illegal for us to let it play. Still, it's in his fucking blood now, or at least you've brainwashed him by this point to make him believe so. EVERY FUCKING NIGHT. FIVE HOURS OF WIND SPRINTS. HIS PAWS ARE BLEEDING MAN?!!?!??! But noooooooooooo, you dropped that interception last Friday and now you're going to pay. You're getting neutered tomorrow and dinner is out of the question. You can kiss the fourth grade Sadie Hawkins dance goodbye as well. That's right, have fun telling Kelly Vagina she's going stag now because you gotta be in the gym training for college as hard as possible. NO SOCIAL LIFE, JUST WORK AND OBEDIANCE FOR THE REST OF YOUR GRIMLY TORTUROUS EXISTENCE, WATCHING THE WORLD JUST PASS YOU BY ON YOUR EXERCISE BIKE FOR DOGS OR WHATEVER YOU TRAIN ON TO GET THOSE HAMSTRINGS.
You might notice as you read further on that I will start to suggest that you kill your dog if you have one. Dogs release methane gas into the atmosphere every time they exhale. Soak that in for a second. Too late, the planet earth is dead thanks to your ignorance. Maybe if you had some balls attached to your body we could be getting drunk together on a pontoon boat blowing up fish with dynamite instead of having me continue on my quest to eradicate their species. I'm fine with you letting this happen though, because they hold many dark secrets you apparently aren't aware of.
I'm here to help you understand that you are in control.
If I can get anything into your head from this, let it be this singular strand of thought I'm about to parlay onto you.....
Dogs are reptilian aliens. All of them. I didn't want to just throw it out there at the beginning to scare off everyone so I did a little song and dance with that football stuff, but I have fucking slides of crop circles in Scotland that will blow your mind. Some breeds of dogs can apparently kill a baby just by thinking about it. Sounds pretty fucking awesome except for the whole dead baby thing, which is horrifying. There are hieroglyphs on the pyramids that I believe are also in Scotland depicting cats as gods, which are like, the enemy of dogs, which in turn means that dogs hold the supreme technology (obviously making them reptilian aliens). Also just totally realized that dog backwards is god. Holy shit, really?
You might be freaking out right now, and rightfully so. I mean, people go so far as to even personify their pets. The reptilian aliens act as if they are nowhere close to our level of evolution, and the sad fact is that women everywhere are dressing up jack russell terriers as astronauts and taking pictures of them to put on facebook. Next thing you know that little dog is on Jeopardy and being embarrassed in front of millions of people when everyone realizes he can't even speak English. I've seen it millions of times and I always laugh at the thought of them trying to build a rocket with their dumb little paws and lack of complex motor skills. Then I remember that their body is merely an organic portal which the alien controls and uses to lick peanut butter off of prepubescent girls. Nothing too funny about that.
Let's say for some crazy reason you still haven't killed your dog, which is absurd by the way. Let's just say that it's parading itself around outside your house right now sending information about your children to a star, perhaps somewhere in the Andromeda galaxy, to a planet perhaps named alien lizard planet (copyright pending), and you have no intention to do anything about these biblical facts represented right before your eyes. I'm fine with your ignorance if you are. If there's nothing to be done about it, I just suggest that you never, ever show love towards your pet. Or give it water. That is our water. Human water, to be precise. Also, do not give them any access to your toilet as that is how they teleport into the fourth dimension when you are masturbating.
For those without logic or reason instilled into them and insist that their reptilian alien remain unharmed, or you're just into kinky shit like that, let me heed some words of warning before I continue...
The fact that an intellectually superior being lives inside each and every canine is highly disturbing. Throw into the equation that they are adorable and some know how to balance treats on their nose and we're talking about the greatest illusion in the history of time. Man's best friend is merely their version of David Copperfield making the Statue of Liberty disappear WITHOUT THE USE OF MIRRORS. How about the fact that dogs have fucking movies made where they talk and have emotional and dramatic relationships with other dogs, and sometimes these dogs are animated. Who watches animated films and shows about dogs other than stoners? That's right, CHILDREN, who are currently being impregnated by some crackwhore Rottweiler because the kid thinks they can eat spaghetti together in an alley and fall madly in love. Watch as your child implodes in front of your very eyes as million of puppies emerge from your son's intestinal tract. You certainly don't have room for all those puppies in your house, do you? Starting to get the picture?
We're in a fucking economic meltdown. I suspect that within five years I will have to kill puppies on a daily basis strictly for my own survival. We will be in the throes of a full-scale battle for earth against the reptilian aliens and frankly I don't like having my personal shit chewed to shreds by some faggoty alien baby. So yeah, I'm sure whenever that goes down I'll have a chart that lays out how many puppies per hour I've killed in a fiscal quarter. I'm sure I can make some....anyone hear about Kanye at the VMA's? godammit.
It's happening. They know what I'm trying to Jessica Simpson had her dog abducted by a coyote, and she's offering a reward for it. The coyote is named Mitch and his family are glad to know that the dog is male so it can become a proper lawyer in the future.
Megan Fox got dissed by reptilian aliens when she was castrated by Michael Bay Fox, her father, bad news for mexicans everywhere as they realize that white people accept George Lopez as one of their own....................
...........
....
Okay, that was retarded. I'm too smart to let an alien into my brain and start feeding me a stream of pop culture gossip and you know this. Were you smart enough to not kill your dog? You were? THEN WHAT THE FUCK, MAN??? You passed my test! Your are now a responsible pet owner and certified
therapist who I command to take your gun to the streets and KILL ANY HOBO THAT YOU SEE ON SIGHT! They are filthy.
Have a good day!
User Reviews
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2009-10-14 16:52:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i'm researching dark matter right now. i'll get back to you.
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2009-10-08 22:16:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
psssshhhhhhhhh.............the bus is a great form of transportation. I'm going to be flying within five years thanks to nanobots anyways so I'm actually saving money for that technology. I am quite excited.
Submitted by netimportant (user info) at 2009-10-08 20:47:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I heart you! Do you still do a lot of drugs, because if so, I think we're meant for each other.
Double points if you don't have a car.
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2009-09-30 14:24:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
god bless you, sir for this public service announcement.
now rot
Submitted by VelvetElvis (user info) at 2009-09-29 05:19:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I love you're back GLALL, this place has tumble weeds blowing around, one just flew out of my screen but am high and dodged it.
Cool blue light is washing into my room from the streetlamp, buzz, astral blue on the carpet like I'm standing on air. Times like this falls like an hourglass smashing and the stars spill out a new constellation call Now. Now where we're on our like two statues joined at the fingertips breathing thru the other like the pipes of an old Hammond stage organ runnin back into itself to explode into "Light My Fire."
(Morrison led thousands into an idealic wilderness but left the stranded.)
Some nights you turn around and everything's moving, out of place, but right where you remember it being? It's like that seeing you back.
I'll let you know know who I am after you post more--always a catch. Listen. You can still hear the chansons ringing out to the death of The Unknown Poet, like rimbaud: "passion est la grantie de l'existence!" Eat shit, you'da said. That's what I always liked. Just like you played great D in football, and could hit hard.
now hit hard, here. Ride the snake.
Submitted by Cakes (user info) at 2009-09-26 00:07:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2009-09-25 23:58:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Can we get this up on B@W please?
--
Agree
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2009-09-25 23:58:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Can we get this up on B@W please?
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2009-09-25 18:03:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Berty i'd vote for your ass on like, anything. Name what you run for and i'll fit you with my vote, my huge cock of a vote that will destroy whatever that would dare stand in front of you. I am an American, and I demand my right to vote.....in other people's political processes. I'll also need a high-def television and a tombstone pizza cause I'm a cheap fuck that can't comprehend that I could eat good pizza for a little more and actually enjoy my life. No, that would require me being smart, which I'm not. I'm fucking retarded.
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2009-09-25 07:49:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I had no idea that there were so many shoe fetishists in Asia.
Explains why they take their shoes off before going into peoples houses though. Getting jizz on the carpet would be bad form.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2009-09-25 07:33:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2009-09-25 06:51:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
But what would we do with all the shoes?
--------
Easy: sell all the female shoes to Japanese foot fetishists and all the male shoes to fetishists in Thailand.
Man, I really should go into politics. I would fully save the world through cybernetics and sexual deviancy.
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2009-09-25 06:51:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
But what would we do with all the shoes?
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2009-09-25 06:10:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2009-09-25 05:37:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Why haven't you got blade legs anyway?
---------
That is a very good question. I think that Data in Star Trek the Next Generation gave a good reason for why everyone didn't have their eyes replaced Geordie La-Forge's 'Deus Ex Machina' eyes so if I ever see that episode re-run on a sunday I'll be sure to send you my explanation immediatly.
Untill then I'm left to wonder, why don't we all live in bungalows and relpace our legs with segway?
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2009-09-25 05:37:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Why haven't you got blade legs anyway?
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2009-09-25 05:35:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I wasn't planning on running for local government, Berty.
I think to be truly electable you'd need to be trans-gender like that South African runner. Actually if the Saffa's spliced her with that Oscar blade-leg chap they could be on for a winner there. It'd be more PC than electing Mandela.
I'll draw you a ferret later.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2009-09-25 04:49:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My first action would be to have you incarcerated under terrorism laws and forced to draw Fintan comics.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2009-09-25 04:48:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Actually maybe I should run for public office. Surely there is nobody more electable than a mixed race man in a wheelchair who is staunchly against the army, to appease the liberals, and yet pro war, to appease the bastards, who believes in social care but also the right of companies to exploit the educated. What better man to stand against the facists than brown man in a wheelchair?
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2009-09-25 04:40:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That's a fair poiint. Also if you cannot be bothered with doodling a comic about a ferret then taking on the needs of the local community is doomed. People would talk about the bad old days under counciler Dervel: when rubbish was piled as high as a 12 year old outside every home and no apple tree went unscrumped. Whenever you walked into any pub in the area you'd be acompanied by dark mutterings and stony faced service.
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2009-09-25 04:31:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2009-09-25 03:48:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2009-09-23 04:59:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'd rather like to have pet otters and ducks.
---------------
Would it be crass of me to suggest you take up a career in politics, then?
----
I actually genuinely thought about this last night, Berty. But I decided I couldn't be arsed becoming PM as I don't want to have to do any stints in a crappy embassy in some pointless country like Bolivia first and I really don't want to have to represent Wales.
Shame really as I'm pretty sure I'd be a shoe-in for the job...
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2009-09-25 03:48:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2009-09-23 04:59:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'd rather like to have pet otters and ducks.
---------------
Would it be crass of me to suggest you take up a career in politics, then?
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2009-09-24 06:53:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
WTF? INRAT.
Submitted by VelvetElvis (user info) at 2009-09-23 23:11:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
A faggot's tea party? Or the plural, a faggots' tea party?
Let's think about that-- tea bagging.... No, I can't stomach it, that came from your mind, you dwell upon it Stavros, and go rub one off with your Clay Aiken posters grinning down in approval.
(PS: I'm trying to eat, and we're friends, btw--- BELIEVE IT OR NOT! chill
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2009-09-23 22:55:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
STFU Elvis, you couldn't punch your way out of a faggots tea party
Submitted by VelvetElvis (user info) at 2009-09-23 22:09:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Leave it to a greasy Greek with too much shit in his hair to fuck up the prodigal son GLALL's score: the sixth sick sheikh's second sheet-slitting sheep-sucking son of Semiazas' sibling second sister. (And I would have fought alongside the Greeks and Lord Byron to defeat the Turks, just on principles, god dammit.)
Long time no verbal DMT/salvia combo trip, GLALL-- we're old friends, you just can't recognize me in this hellish velvet guise. All will be revealed, sooner than I had planned, I can see that now.
Submitted by VelvetElvis (user info) at 2009-09-23 21:33:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hell fucking yes!
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2009-09-23 20:56:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Call me soft, rip on Arby's, I get the message. Funny. Funny stuff. You guys are funny.
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2009-09-23 20:14:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
First of all, who the fuck are you?
2nd.
Lastly Arby's recruited me last week because my armpits smell more like roast beef than what they serve. Now I just run on a treadmill and drip delicious smokey musk and all their sandwiches. That includes the chicken ones. You're welcome.
Submitted by tinactin (user info) at 2009-09-23 20:01:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is the most coherent thing you've ever written. You're getting soft.
Submitted by pandora (user info) at 2009-09-23 19:11:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2009-09-23 04:59:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'd rather like to have pet otters and ducks.
------------------------------------------------
Me too, I love aquatic animals. I've been obsessed with otters for a while. Here's a video which shows what they'd be like as house pets:
http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2007/03/070327-otters-video.html?source=rss
The part where the lady is teaching the baby otters to swim in the bathtub is so fucking cute it almost made my head explode.
Ducks are a lot of fun, too. I love the way they react when you play with their feet while they're swimming.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2009-09-23 16:18:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2009-09-23 13:36:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I actually only check in every once in a while seeing as how about a month's worth of posts can be found by going only 3 or 4 pages back.
This was the first hilarious thing I read in a very long time, so thanks.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2009-09-23 10:51:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2009-09-22 18:15:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2009-09-22 18:08:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Forensic's right, except for the Monster part.
______
*shrugs* At least I'm writing something skrap.
-----
True, that.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2009-09-23 10:27:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I've always had my suspicions.
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2009-09-23 10:15:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2009-09-23 10:11:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
how do I know you're not an undercover cat and that this is all propaganda?
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Unfortunately I cannot verify that I am not feline. I lick myself, bury my turds, and have been known to chase laser pointers for up to 20 miles. I think that those are also symptoms of lyme disease but i'm not 100%.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2009-09-23 10:11:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
how do I know you're not an undercover cat and that this is all propaganda?
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2009-09-23 10:10:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Thanks, Method. I was getting quite the inflated ego for a moment. By the way, go fuck yourself with a beach towel you greek dick of a homo. Hey Pentamter good to see you're still around!!!
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2009-09-23 09:59:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
= )
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2009-09-23 09:57:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
GLALL!
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2009-09-23 09:38:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I would also like to state that I take full responsibility for anyone that did murder their dog. I'm pretty good at getting people to kill things.
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2009-09-23 09:18:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2009-09-23 00:03:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SOXHtRsTtk0
http://www.timecube.com/
This shit is slowly coming together, bro.
-----------------------------------------------
For one, okay, how did you know about my website, timecube? How the fuck did you know that? Are you with the government? Is this a warning or some sort of joke to you? Godammit now I have to move my shit YET AGAIN and I can't afford another u-haul. THOSE DOGS IN THAT YOUTUBE VIDEO!!!!! Deadly.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2009-09-23 08:11:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm not a bad guy. I work hard and I love my kids. So why should I spend
half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to Hell?
-- Homer Simpson
Homer the Heretic
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2009-09-23 05:28:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2009-09-23 04:59:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'd rather like to have pet otters and ducks.
Submitted by sexualchocolate1984 (user info) at 2009-09-23 04:54:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was a double edged sword.
I enjoyed it, but I couldn't be bothered to finish reading it, skipped to the comments.
Warming glove - hehehe. Velvetine pouch.
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2009-09-23 02:37:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow, so that time with the dog and the peanut butter was wrong, right?
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2009-09-23 02:06:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
the tides a changing
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2009-09-23 00:38:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck. I killed my dog already.
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2009-09-23 00:36:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2009-09-23 00:03:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SOXHtRsTtk0
http://www.timecube.com/
This shit is slowly coming together, bro.
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2009-09-22 21:57:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
good thing I'm a doctor then. I'm going to need one thousand milligrams of something medical and another thing filled with stuff. I will then mix them and create a potion that hopefully helps you resist dark magic. Yeah, sorry about the herpes.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2009-09-22 21:33:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I HAVE HERPES!
fuck sakes, if that isn't a cry for help I don't know what is.
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2009-09-22 21:01:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I miss this. This, right here. The comforting glove of ubersite. Shlongy is still here which blows my mind.
Submitted by moopy4u (user info) at 2009-09-22 20:57:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Bravo.
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2009-09-22 20:52:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
only so i don't break the streak.
Submitted by AshK (user info) at 2009-09-22 19:56:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by cheerios (user info) at 2009-09-22 19:40:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2009-09-22 18:39:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
On an important side note, Shlongy just got a new dog on Sunday!
Welcome back. This website blows. Now, you can go away again because there's nothing here to see.
I hardly ever even stop by and call people assholes anymore.
---
That's because you're a worthless douche bag.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2009-09-22 19:13:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'll read this later.
I just sent you an email last week.
Holla back, yo. Etc.
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2009-09-22 19:02:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
oh yeah and my dog runs around with her cow penis sticking out of her mouth like fidel castro and my mom makes penis jokes about it while we watch her
IT'S AWESOME
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2009-09-22 19:01:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I GOT HERPES FROM THIS POST YOU ASSHOLE
Submitted by Cakes (user info) at 2009-09-22 18:48:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2009-09-22 18:39:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
On an important side note, Shlongy just got a new dog on Sunday!
Welcome back. This website blows. Now, you can go away again because there's nothing here to see.
I hardly ever even stop by and call people assholes anymore.
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2009-09-22 18:24:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
My balls look old.
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2009-09-22 18:15:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2009-09-22 18:08:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Forensic's right, except for the Monster part.
______
*shrugs* At least I'm writing something skrap.
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2009-09-22 18:12:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You don't have many friends, do you?
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2009-09-22 18:08:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Forensic's right, except for the Monster part.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2009-09-22 17:31:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
They couldn't even fit the dog for pads because they were like, it's a fucking dog and I'm pretty sure this is illegal for us to let it play.
haha
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2009-09-22 17:31:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
p.s. - Kelly Vagina was my real name until I had it legally changed to GLALL.
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2009-09-22 17:23:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I was going to -2 WTFINRAT
but this was entertaining.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2009-09-22 17:22:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yay! Between Monster's post and this, Uber was worth it today.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2009-09-22 17:21:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I have herpes
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2009-09-22 17:19:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I like to think of myself as a case of herpes that went away long enough for you to proceed banging without protection, then bam! You have herpes and don't you forget it.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2009-09-22 17:13:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
woo glall post


