Bernie Madoff and me! (249 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.75 on 4 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by DoYouBadly (View user info) at 2009-10-03 07:56:03 EDT
I was sick for a few days, but yesterday I started feeling better. AS a functional alcoholic there was only one place rational enough for me to go to.
So I head down to a bar on the outskirts of Queens NY, Whitetone. Nothing special, just far enough not to bump into any relatives or friends for fucks sake.
So I go in, everything looks proper and mundane at the same time. Perfect I say to myself and get situated at the bar. Couple of skanks, fat chics, typical Irish/Italian construction guys and that's it.
Within a first drink (Long Island Iced Tea), this old guy came up to the bar and sat down one stool away. Long story short, we both kept downing drinks till 1 am. The bar was almost empty at that point and that's when the man offered to buy me and this woman on the other side a drink.
He struck up a conversation with both of us and what do you know? It Bernie Madoff.
At first I was shocked, but after a while I got comfortable. Bennie bought some more drinks and we hit off a conversation that lasted till 4am, at which point the bar was closing.
I must tell you, this guy is a great sport, very funny and trustworthy. I can see how easy it was to trust this man with massive amounts of other peoples money.
We hung out, and he offered me a ride home in his Limo, I was glad, too. Last thing I needed was a DWI again.
When I got home I twattered about this whole ordeal online and went to bed, as I took my pants off I reached for my wallet to get my stash and rail a line, but I couldn't find it.
Did I leave it at the bar? The limo? Fat chic stole it? or was it Bernie Madoff??
I tried looking up Bernie on Facebook to ask if I left my wallet in his limo, but he is nowhere to be found! And neither is my wallet.
User Reviews
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2009-10-04 01:54:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
fucking die.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2009-10-03 14:46:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I bet BranDo has some stories.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2009-10-03 10:04:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I stopped reading and started rating immediately after the "first drink; Long Island Iced Tea" line, because I know that I'd hate you.
Submitted by BranDo (user info) at 2009-10-03 08:22:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
you don't keep your stash in your wallet. now you know why.
kids.