If You Want To BM, BM (546 hits)
Category: Science & EnvironmentalRating: 0.88 on 20 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Poots (View user info) at 2009-10-10 09:16:08 EDT
The killer awoke before dawn,
He put his boots on...
He Took a face from the ancient gallery and then heeeeee.....
HE WALKED ON DOWN THE HALL BOOOOOYYEEEE
Marcy flicked the radio off fighting Jakes arm for control of it.
"I hate this fucking song," said Marcy
"But I do not hate it, in fact I think it is a badass song," Jake said, then added with a little crazed look in his eyes, "the blue bus is calling us," singing it in mocking adoration.
"Oh really Jake, really man? You think this song is written for us specifically? Like Jim Morisson thought 'you know, about thirty years after I kill myself from drining too much booze, taking too many pills and lsd, and wandering around in the fucking desert fucked on peyote that about at that time two people, you and I, will be travelling down the road fighting over who the fuck listens to what on some god aweful radio show zooming through mountain passes in West Vriginia lost and out of their minds because a piece of equipment that wasn't even invented...
"you mean our Garmin," Jake interjected in sarcastic inquisition.
"OF COURSE I MEAN OUR GARMIN YOU ASSHOLE," Marcy screamed at Jake.
"NO REASON TO BE A BITCH I WAS JUST ASKING A QUESTION," Jake screamed back.
"....I'm sorry, your right,' Marcy managed to ooze out the words, speaking between her teeth, and lowering her head while she did, accepting defeat, 'it's just that we've been taken off our normal route and headed to god knows where these roads are so old and beaten up and spooky. I feel stressed out and the last thing I want to listen to is a song about a killer who wants to take out his whole family after fucking his mom."
"I'm sorry too Marcy. Do you miss home?' Jake asked but not letting Marcy answer he quickly added,' I do I miss Cali like a motherfucker.
"Cali-forn-ia lo-ve," Marcy sang with a little bit of a smile on her face.
"The west is the best," Jake went on pushing Marcy.
"Your an asshole Jake."
"I know baby, but that's why you love me."
"No sir. I'm all about the penis. If you didn't have that monster between your legs we would have been done a long time ago." At that they both laughed hysterically.
"Hey babe, let's smoke another doob."
"Sounds like a great fucking idea. Will you try and figure out the Garmin it seems to be sending us to Boston but these roads are way to fucked up? Will you see if you can get us back on the interstate I would but kind of driving in mountainous territory dodging potholes in the batshit darkness."
"I'll take a look babe. Let me just roll this up real quick."
"The sooner the better."
"Ride the kings highway, baby," Jake sang back leaning on Marcy's shoulder trying to plant a kiss on her cheek as he did.
"Jake,' Marcy said, she closed her eyes and stifled another outburst as she did, 'please stop singing that fucking song."
"NP, babe, np." jake said scared a little for his safety and loss of rights to Marcy's pussy for a about a week or so.
About ten minutes passed with no conversation as Jake took his time to roll a nice joint. Then he took the Garmin in hand, lit the joint, and took a look at it.
"It says that boston is about 10 hours away and that we are dead in it's sights. This road though... It would have you believe that we are in nobodys sights, 'Jake exlaimed looking around for signs of life.
"Is there anyway you could go to points of interest on the Garmin and see if you can't find a hotel near by?" Marcy probed taking the joint from Jake and pulling deep off of it making the dark car glow orange for a second.
"sure."
The road hummed beneath them and the wishing sound of trees passing was all that was heard until Jake exclaimed, "I've found one. Kind of has a wierd name but it's only 10 miles up the road."
"What is it called?"
"Beautiful Friend."
"That is kind nice and inviting sounding to me. Let's go check it out. We can start over tomorrow and hit it really hard."
"And I can hit that pretty hard," Jake said looking at Marcy with drooling eyes fighting off the urge to ask her if she wanted to ride the snake as he did.
"Oh yeah," Marcy said reaching over without looking and rubbing Jakes cock as she did.
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I'm done with this for now. As it is most of you fucks are going to say some shit about it without even reading it or that it's too long. I'll continue it if anybody shows interest.
User Reviews
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2009-10-16 11:30:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
THis is really good.
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2009-10-16 11:08:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"But I do not hate it, in fact I think it is a badass song,"
That is the most beautiful sentence in all human history.
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2009-10-15 12:14:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You know *wink*
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2009-10-13 22:11:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 EFFORT/SONG SELECTION
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2009-10-11 15:01:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
A bonner is kind of like a youse. A
word in which the spelling has been altered to reflect a specific locals
vernacular.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2009-10-11 08:40:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I didn't read this.
Submitted by paxilliona (user info) at 2009-10-10 23:21:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2009-10-10 12:28:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
My character had a big penis because I like to think about big veiny cocks. I have orifices and they throb for such objects to be injected in them.
Also, I think it gives the reader a little bonner or makes them wet in the pants to think about lewd, unorthodox, vagina ripping sex.
===
If I had a penis, it might give me a BONER. What the fuck is a bonner? A sign that you are dumber than a rock??
I'm REAL sure I'm in the wrong place. All of youse are retarded.
Submitted by AshK (user info) at 2009-10-10 13:08:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2009-10-10 12:28:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
My character had a big penis because I like to think about big veiny cocks. I have orifices and they throb for such objects to be injected in them.
Also, I think it gives the reader a little bonner or makes them wet in the pants to think about lewd, unorthodox, vagina ripping sex.
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2009-10-10 12:26:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
and thank you for proving a point that you will never know you proved Doodies.
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2009-10-10 12:25:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
it takes very little to bore simple minds
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2009-10-10 12:19:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
got bored
Submitted by os2 (user info) at 2009-10-10 12:18:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I liked it and would happily read the rest...
That said why do most characters in fiction have big winky's and fantastic love lives? You don't find many with slightly below par winky's or average love making skills...
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2009-10-10 10:34:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I made up a new game that I'm not going to tell you guys about.
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2009-10-10 10:33:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I used to think that sluts were cool people because I was dry in the poontang department. But now I think sluts, and I mean both male and female, are disgusting, nasty, butthole sucking, subhuman, lice loving, smegma spreading, mice testicle auctioning, ostrich vagina stretching, elephant dung eating, panda poop parading, redant mound fucking, dicks of dolphins.
Yeah...completely disgusted by people who can't seem to have a conversation without being forward with a woman/man.
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2009-10-10 09:53:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I had an arguement with a friend last night about star wars. I contend that when a jedi whips out a sabre and ignites it he or she intends to use it. In other words it's not a glow stick you will see at raves, although i've seen fx sabres at parties and what not but those people are not jedi and those aren't real sabres now are they?
Am I an asshole or is this guy a greasy pile of shit like I said he was?
Maybe I'm an asshole for calling him a greasy pile of shit sure...but for saying the jedi bullshit I don't know.
It was a long argument.
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2009-10-10 09:44:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This is even more painful than it looks.
-- Homer Simpson
Brother from the Same Planet
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2009-10-10 09:34:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
also, I would like to add, that my posse's on broadway but my pussy's at home sleeping.
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2009-10-10 09:33:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't remember ever having a wet dream. I remember waking up from sexy dreams still humping the bed cock full of chaffing pains but no expulsion....not once.
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2009-10-10 09:17:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Fuck, I forgot to say that Shlongy rules in the message and to add naked pictures.