Uber user 1942. (544 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.36 on 36 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by TuTs (View user info) at 2009-10-10 13:35:01 EDT
I have been here longer than most of you people and the thing that is spell check will excuse any problems that I have with spelling and it will make it all better. Why isn't there a spell check for our worthless little miserable lives? Oi you that is wrong Fixxxxx it now or I will little red underline you. Get your shit together and make it better or spell check will freak out.
Here is the thing I am either becoming an alcoholic or I have too many birthday parties this month. I am scared that it is the other thing. You know becoming an alcoholic. It is in my genes. We aren't poor white trash, but we are worse. We have no excuse; we are the ones who should know better. You know the ones who have qualifications who aren't supposed to do the naughty things and yet do them anyway. We have money and looks and yet we are still fucked.
When I have avoided uber it is when my life is good, things are fine and I am perfect. When I am here it is when I am fucked up. I don't know why I have always treated this bullshit excuse for a serious writers forum for free therapy I just have. There is nothing on the surface wrong with my life. Home. Family. I am just disconnected. The kids go to bed I get drunk and according to the world as long as I wake up in the morning there is nothing wrong with that. What the fuck? As long as on the surface you are a functioning adult, we don't care if deep down you are fucked up.
I know that snap judgement, my spelling and grammar are shit, therefore I am dumb. High IQ here, low EQ. I never understood why people care. I was always fascinated watching people. I still am I love watching them interact especially in situations where I would be completely inappropriate. That is why this is always fun. I get to be an asshole without repercussions or a complete social retard without shock. People don't want to know what I think and people don't care, but you, you voyeurs not only will you read this, but you will rate it.
That is why we are here after all. Like the filth who watches the porn we are all perverts. Watching what others have to share, getting off on their dirty secrets, laughing at their mistakes and enjoying their fiction. We all have friends and lives and yet for some reason this offers us something. I could lick fiction, it is thick and yummy and you feed it too me. Even when it is true because it is not spoken it is novel and I love it.
Pfft get over it and I shall. Just like I always do, anyway I hope this was fun for you, it was for me. Tomorrow I will puke and I will deserve it. I am reasonable enough to accept that. Just answer me this though Why did the chicken cross the road?
User Reviews
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2009-11-19 22:19:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I like when people reveal themselves on uber.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2009-10-13 19:20:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Australian girls are easy
Submitted by DarthFaded (user info) at 2009-10-12 14:07:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
1942 big deal....
STFU n00b.
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2009-10-12 11:55:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Read Watership Down.
Anyway I need showering and etc. Ta ta.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-10-12 11:47:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2009-10-12 16:42:02 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
Perth. Western Australia. See when I was young and untethered I was offered a job as an au pair because they wanted their kids to learn English from an Australian. They didn't want them getting a distinct English/ American accent (They were from Zurich). Like most women I like an Irish accent, I don't like the posh English accent though.
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Well from being in sydney, slowly but surely your English is becoming American, it was horrible!! A welsh accent is nice on women, as is Irish. My accent isn't too posh, I dont think, im going to be doing a voicewhore when my mic arrives, god knows what of though.
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2009-10-12 11:42:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Perth. Western Australia. See when I was young and untethered I was offered a job as an au pair because they wanted their kids to learn English from an Australian. They didn't want them getting a distinct English/ American accent (They were from Zurich). Like most women I like an Irish accent, I don't like the posh English accent though.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-10-12 11:35:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i didnt go to many places in Australia, only 4. Certainly not WA, mainly because I dont know where that means. I didnt go to anywhere beginning with w though.
i thnk the aussie accent is one of the worst accents women can have, other than a birmingham/bristol one.
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2009-10-12 11:32:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Talk about killing people with parsnips. Met a guy from Manchester on Saturday. He beat me at pool, which wasn't hard because I was crap. Did you come to WA while you were here? I'm pretty sure I'm not nasal.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-10-12 11:29:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
or there nasally accents might send me into a coma
i was talking to one aussie lady in london and her accent was so bad and so 'huhhhh wellll ya seeeeeeeee im laaavaing landon toon, its a truly fantastic place'
i killed her with a parsnip
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2009-10-12 11:24:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What do you want with my pretty friends? Frankly I think their perfect Australian teeth might frighten you.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-10-12 11:19:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2009-10-12 16:09:27 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-10-12 23:02:45 WST (#)
Ranking: 0
tuts, do you have a pretty friend who berty and i can chat too?
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Fuck you EI I'm pretty.
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i have no idea what you look like, but your response to my question indicates anger and self doubt. having to tell me your pretty , when i didnt even say you werent.
im not just a pretty face
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-10-12 11:11:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Berty how old are you? 29? do you still have long hair? when did you last have sex with a real person? do you live with your parents? in someones basement? Have you ever been overseas? What is your favourite TV programme and have you ever seen Rescue me?
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2009-10-12 11:09:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-10-12 23:02:45 WST (#)
Ranking: 0
tuts, do you have a pretty friend who berty and i can chat too?
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Fuck you EI I'm pretty.
Berty the education is merely a form of escapism from my home and because I don't want a job where I recieve minumum wage again.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2009-10-12 11:04:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Well there you are then. Academia is horrid and it destroys lives. The political back-biting, the deception, the confusion of the established elite, one upmanship and not to mention all the drugs.
That's why Nietzhe got confused with all that bollocks about self-actualisation: he was an academic and therefore missed the point of life by default. The secret to happiness is in fact to be fat, lazy and admired.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-10-12 11:02:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
tuts, do you have a pretty friend who berty and i can chat too?
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2009-10-12 11:01:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Wait when I first came here though I had one. :)
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2009-10-12 10:59:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Not a real one. I am at University full time. Thats when I'm on here, when I'm meant to be studying.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2009-10-12 10:57:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
So wait, Tuts, do you even have a job?
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-10-12 10:40:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
its ok, she only has two kids, she cant be orphelia
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2009-10-12 10:39:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Together with two kids, living in sin. I have had lots of freedom lately though. I think that is why I have been drinking so much.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2009-10-12 10:25:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Aren't you supposed to be in a happy marriage and stuff?
I may be thinking of Orphelia.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2009-10-12 10:20:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Personally I've always thought that being an alcoholic is underated, kind of like being a mother.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2009-10-12 10:04:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by ridiculous (user info) at 2009-10-12 01:58:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
TuTs,
Good rant man,
Yes Uber is a voyer filled freakshow that also is form of free therapy for those amongst us who are sociological in nature and still wrestling with exactly whatever it is that makes us fucked up or normal or both. Actually, I consider it to be normal to be fucked up, but I digress.
I agree with you about the spellcheck for life, it would certainly put a small percentage of order into the poorly orchestrated chaos called our daily grind. The issue, as I see it, is that like everything else that is good for you, most people couldn't be bothered with it - same goes for Backspace Ducky. Think about it? In my estimation probably only 5% of people driving would wear a seatbelt for its intended purpose of being a safety restraint if there was no one telling them to just stfu and wear it.
Having a drink, or a smoke or even a bump has become societally acceptable these days so don't worry about having a drink, or whatever your pleasure may be. You only need to worry about it when it seems as if it is no longer optional. Are you an alcoholic? I don't know, you tell me. Better yet, fuck me, tell yourself and then decide what you want or need for your life, you don't need anyones approval - especially not the undulating masses spewing curses and lapping at the figurative blood pooling around you here on Uber.
To close by quoting Dennis Miller, "Of course that is just my opinion... I could be wrong."
Submitted by skarekrow (user info) at 2009-10-11 08:52:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
This isn't free therapy?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2009-10-11 08:39:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Maybe you'll feel better once you show me your hole. I'm pretty sure it'll work.
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2009-10-11 01:54:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
bubba, dont you have a mostly-dead wife to attend to?
Submitted by willartstorg (user info) at 2009-10-10 20:48:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2009-10-10 20:07:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
tits of stfu
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Yeah, that stfu cunt has some NICE TITS, you stupid ass.
Can you read? Obviously not.
Can you type? Definitely NOT.
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2009-10-10 20:07:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
tits of stfu
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2009-10-10 15:00:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz <yawn>
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2009-10-10 14:01:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
i don't care so much about having spellcheck in my life, but I would personally love for there to be a backspace function. i hope you sleep well when the spins stop.
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2009-10-10 13:57:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
the chicken crossed the road because her rooster was kind of doing all of the other chickens and gave her a black eye when she tried to talk to him about it.
There was another rooster over there on the other side of the road with a bigger pecker/cock who promised to only do her. So she thought "what the hell" and "fuck this other rooster guy he's shit to me and my chicks anyway" and "I wonder what kind of car he drives."
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2009-10-10 13:57:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
But the people on facebook just don't cut it.
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2009-10-10 13:56:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2009-10-11 01:54:09 WST (#)
Ranking: 0
Is what they call "sphinctrospection"?
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Prolly dude.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2009-10-10 13:54:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Is what they call "sphinctrospection"?
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2009-10-10 13:35:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Look it is an Idiot.>>>>>>