A clASSic (298 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -2 on 8 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Dongen McHugeRod (View user info) at 2009-10-12 04:25:14 EDT
Psych! Anyway, I was smoking about a pound of crack the other day when I suddenly passed out. Suddenly, I had woken the fuck up. Apparently I later found out that I had passed out in the middle of the street wearing nothing but a bra that I have wrapped around my waist to keep my huge balls from dragging in the ground. Anyway, when I opened my eyes the first thing I saw was my huge cock, which was natural because I was laying on my back and the thing towered over me. Anyway, I found out that the local denizens of my locale has discovered my unconscious body and realized what they were looking at they started worshiping my titanic fuck tool like a god, which is natural. They were bowing to it and shit, it was pathetic.
Anyway, when I woke up and saw what was going on I screamed "THE HOLY LORD HAS ARRIVED!" everyone started crying and shit. Then I pointed at some dude and was all like "You, peon! What do you love more: my cock or your children!?!" "I love your god rod of course, my master!" "Prove it. Sacruifice your child for my amusement!" He went off anddragged his daughter back by her hair. Then he crammed a machete up her twat and gutted her like a fish. The whole timew she was screaming "NO DADDY NO I LOVE YOU!" but he just laughed and spit in her face and screamed "I FUCKING HATE YOUR GUTS!". Afterwards we took turns pissing and shitting on her corpse.
After that I started walking around town and jerking off. Some pig scum tried to stop me, so I smashed their faces in and jerked off all over their stupid uniforms. When I was finished with the corpses a bunch of black people started hitting them with baseball bats. Later I found out that they were tenderizing their flesh and they turned officers Oink and Oink into ribs and chitterlings and all that shit those mud people love to eat.
Anyway, after that I walked into a mosque and started murdering fucking everyone. Everyone busted out some machine guns and rocket launchers, but all their projectiles bounced off my rock hard abs. For their impudence I grabbed one of them and plucked his eyes out. Then I took a needle and started stabbing him all over his body. He was spraying blood everywhere! Then I grabbed his jaw and ripped it off. I took advantage of the situation to get some head - literally! My violent face fucking tore his head off. Then I grabbed his wife and started fucking her in the ass with her husband's severed head still on my huge dong whilst simultaneously shitting myself! Using my psychic powers I determined that the husband's head was still alive as it was being crammed up its wife's ass by my cock! I saw that the wife was about to cum, so I blew her fucking brains out and filled her corpse with gallon upon gallon of my hot jizz. It was so hot her body caught fire! After this I set the mosque on fire and laughed as I saw all the innocent children die an agonizing, hideous death. One of them escaped, and I helt him down and shat in his burns so that he would get gangrene. I visited him in the hospital later and they had to cut off all his limbs, nose, and eyes. It was fucking hilarious!
User Reviews
Submitted by spuj (user info) at 2009-10-13 11:19:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Fuck off
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2009-10-13 08:38:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-10-13 04:13:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by ridiculous (user info) at 2009-10-13 01:40:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
getting sick of this guy
Submitted by willartstorg (user info) at 2009-10-12 22:41:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
no
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2009-10-12 18:06:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You're like a less intelligent version of "Corky" from "Life Goes On".
Only he had a paying job.
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2009-10-12 14:31:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Your mama sucks gorilla dick.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2009-10-12 13:23:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Faggotty-ass fagwear for faggotty-ass ass-fags http://www.newyorkironworks.com It's fagtactular!!!