Scandal (480 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0 on 16 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by DoYouBadly (View user info) at 2009-10-19 07:18:20 EDT
My uncle blew his wife's brains out by accident cleaning his gun at a dinner table on a Friday night. In his drunken state he managed to unload a 45 right into that poor woman's ear.
Being a noble drunk fuck that he is, it didn't take long for him to blow his own brains out 1 minute later. Grief or whatever the hell.
With cards on the table, I had a perfect hand and was gonna win $500, but sudden change of events put a burden on my mood and I was unclear what to do in a situation like this. Moments before this mess happened, my girlfriend #2 smeared her stupid lipstick all over my face when she attempted to make out with me in her drunken state, vomiting as she fell next to a couch and passing out.
What was even more interesting, my attempt at explaining this Halloween scene to cops who were called by a next door neighbor, not me. I was dazzled and couldn't make up my mind if I should go for the stash or leave in on the table, for like evidence or what the fuck not.
Good news, I got to keep the stash and looks like I will be handed my uncles 1973 Cadillac Eldorado he loved so much.
Bad news is I couldn't get it up that night for some reason.
User Reviews
Submitted by LoooseSprocket (user info) at 2009-10-29 13:41:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2009-10-20 13:02:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-10-20 04:46:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'll be comin' around the mountain when I come
I'll be comin' around the mountain when I come
I'll be blowin' your fuckin' head off
I'll be blowin' your fuckin' head off
I'll be whackin' your fuckin' mind out when I come.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2009-10-20 00:17:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The last line sealed it.
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2009-10-19 22:10:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
re-rank because i owned one exactly like that except with a rain-soaked red interior
Submitted by sandmantate (user info) at 2009-10-19 21:00:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
awesome, thanks for the short and funny read.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2009-10-19 17:10:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well shit, I read the whole thing.
That has to count for something, right? RIGHT?
How about a +2?
Sure, that seems about right.
OK. Carry on.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2009-10-19 14:52:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
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Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2009-10-19 14:51:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't know if I like you or not.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2009-10-19 14:07:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
drunk niggers make better posts than this - but you get a +1 for the car.
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2009-10-19 14:06:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
leave the gun...take the canolli
Submitted by Spuds002 (user info) at 2009-10-19 13:58:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by ndn27 (user info) at 2009-10-19 13:13:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
perfect. Now you're all set
to sell Mary Kay cosmetics!!
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2009-10-19 09:45:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
SCANDALOUS!
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2009-10-19 07:59:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-10-19 07:28:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Cocaine is a helluva drug...
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Ha!
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-10-19 07:28:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Cocaine is a helluva drug...