Grueberfest 09 Rd.Final. Cobar. (541 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.87 on 38 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Tuts (View user info) at 2009-10-28 23:53:44 EDT
Cobar (burnt earth) had learned the ways of his mob and tonight he would become a man. The elders would come to get him when the spirits of dead warriors appeared in the sky. He was nervous about this, he was also nervous because today he would have to hunt the Kangaroo, alone. After tracking the beast until the sun stood high in the sky, he had found the big red male resting under a tree, protected from the hot sun by a scraggly gum tree.
He crept silently up to the roo until he could clearly see the huge, blood fat ticks hanging from its ears. He hefted his spear and threw it straight and true into the centre of the animals wide red chest. In shock the animal rose to its feet, blew blood tinted air out of its nose, before landing heavily on the ground. With a few twitches of its long back legs, it died.
Out of the kangaroos nose red blood trickled slowly down to the red dirt, mingling with it, an offering to the earth that fathered the children of the Obagooma tribe. Cobar walked over to the big red, lifted its tail over his shoulder and dragged it back to their impermanent camp. Once there the women clucked about the roo. Taking it from Cobar they used a fire blackened stick to rake back the coals. Then they threw the roo whole, fur and all onto the fire, raking the coals back over it. In a few hours the roo would be cooked, the mob would feast, then Cobar would sleep, he needed his strength for the night ahead.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After what seemed like only a few minutes Cobar awoke to a hand on his shoulder, it was Kari-Maka (smoky fire) he was the leader of their mob. They were a small tribe, but Kari-Maka wielded a lot of power within the other mobs. Silently he urged Cobar to get up; using his hands he told Cobar that he needed to follow him. Then Kari-Maka walked off, not once looking back to see if Cobar was following.
At first the feeling stirring in Cobar's stomach told him that he should run, in whatever direction took him away from Kari-Maka, but the sense of duty to the mob that had been ingrained in Cobar since he was born told him to follow and become a man. As they walked through the ghostly eucalypts, Cobar with an occasional glance at Kari-Maka to make sure he was walking in the right direction, kept looking into the grasses. While there were no animals that were interested in killing humans in the Australian outback, an angry kangaroo could rip a man's guts out, or an enraged snake could bite and you would be dead in less than a minute.
There had also been sightings of ghosts, near the coast. They had arrived on the wind and had spears that could kill you without being thrown. The elders said they had come to punish the mobs. Usually an enemy of the mob had the bone pointed at them by the elders and they died. The elders couldn't point the bone at their ancestors though, the mob would just have to respect that they had done wrong and needed to be punished.
Kari-Maka had stopped. He turned to Cobar and gestured for him to come forth. Cobar, carefully placed one foot in front of the other until he came to the rock face that rose up in front of him. Kari-Maka turned to Cobar and without warning grabbed him by the shoulders and shoved him into a crack in the rock. Cobar was stuck firmly in the opening. It was black, he couldn't see and in a panic he began to breathe heavily.
Gasping, he freed his right arm from near his side and raised it in front of him. There was space there and as he calmed himself, he noticed there was fresh air, only a little, wafting from somewhere in front of him. Dislodging his body from the small space it was wedged into, Cobar came into a wider opening in the rock. He could still touch both sides of the rock face, but he could at least breathe now and move forward.
After walking for a time, Cobar came to an open cavern; it was pitch dark but he could see the stars winking through a hole in the roof, the full moon was obscured by cloud. Suddenly the air around Cobar moved with a whoosh. He turned his body trying to locate the thing that had disturbed the air. Again, whoosh; the something touched his arm this time. Cobar spun around, trying to grab the thing. It was too fast for him though and then many hands grabbed him all at once. Cobar screamed as they pulled him towards the floor and onto a rock ledge that formed a natural table.
Cobar's head was facing toward the hole in the cavern roof, he watched the clouds move and then reveal the moon. The cavern was bathed in the cold light. Cobar could see the white hands of the ancestors, holding down his legs and feet. By turning his head he could see their arms holding his shoulders. As Cobar started to struggle; a face appeared from above his head. It was all white and stuck its jet black tongue at him. It gibbered at him in a strange language and had the foulest breath. As it began to walk around his body, Cobar turned his head with difficulty trying to follow its steps.
It had long wild hair, it was thin to the point of starvation, its nails were long and its teeth were sharpened to points, it was wearing dried pieces of skin on a rope around its neck. When it came to Cobar's feet, it raised a large rock knife; its sharpened edge glinting cruelly in the moonlight. The ancestor thing grabbed his penis between its white fingers, pulling Cobar's foreskin up over the head. Cobar gasped in pain and began to struggle harder. The white ancestor thing smiled at Cobar's pain, before slashing the knife twice, taking his foreskin.
He held the bloody scrap of flesh above his head, gibbered to the moon, before putting the skin into a bag by his side. The hands holding Cobar down, now lifted him up a gourd was pressed to his mouth and he drank a foul liquid. Other hands rubbed an ointment on the injury, followed by something thicker to stop the bleeding. They then walked him to the other side of the cavern, before once more pushing him through the rock face. As the liquid took hold of Cobar, his head began to swim, but the pain in his genitals began to subside.
After the frightful thing in the cavern, being stuck between the rocks no longer frightened him and he began to squeeze himself forward. After what seemed like half the night, he came out of the rock, into the bush he knew well. Breathing deep of the night air, his head cleared and the pain in his genitals came back in full force, he fainted. He fell into the red dirt and lay there for a time.
When Cobar came too, it was the darkest and coldest time of the night, the hour before dawn. He could see his breath in front of his mouth, the pain between his legs had stopped, but when he moved it started again. Not as bad as before, just a low throb, letting him know that it was still there, he supposed. This thought made him giggle. With a grunt, he raised himself onto a side, before pushing himself up off the ground into standing.
He put one foot in front of the other, preparing to walk back to camp, but the ordeal he had just gone through had left him staggering. As he stumbled back to the ground, he heard someone giggle. It was a female voice, he was sure of that and when he raised his head, there in front of him stood a woman. No not a woman, she was completely naked, only girls walked with their pudenda uncovered. Her large breasts and softly flaring hips, told him she was on the verge of womanhood though.
Staring at her breasts made the pain in his manhood worse, so he raised his eyes to her face.
She had the brown dusty skin common to their race, her nose was broad and her lips were large, she licked them making them a moist chocolate colour. What shocked him though was her bright blue eyes and the shock of white hair that flowed around her face like a halo. She was young, but the hair told him she was old and when she spoke to him, she spoke right into his head.
"I am Julunggul," she spoke into his head. "I am the one who will finish making you a man and I will name you Julana. You will be my god and together we will create new life. Come follow me Julana and we will be one together."
She turned and walked away, Cobar felt the stirring begin again as he watched her from behind. He had no intention of following her though, but like a puppet without any control, his limbs obeyed their goddess and made him follow her through the bush. In front of Cobar shining through the night was a fire, it was small but as they got closer it got bigger. When he entered the clearing that held the fire, it was a huge bonfire and sitting cross legged in front of it was the white haired girl/woman.
She beckoned him to her and as before Cobar's limbs betrayed him. He was kneeling in front of her, when she stretched her arms out to him. As her arms stretched out, he noticed that she had tiny little suckers on the end of her fingers and that her skin was red from the fire. Her arms went around his neck and the little suckers on her fingers attached on either side.
She used them to draw him closer to her and her mouth opened to him. Her mouth was wide and inside she had no teeth. As she opened her legs to him, he felt himself respond with a gasp of pain. She giggled again and spoke once more into his head.
"That isn't what I want from you Julana."
The fingers around his neck began to massage him and what felt like nails penetrated his skin. He could feel his blood begin to flow through his arteries into her suckers. From underneath him, he felt her legs begin to change and wrap around him. They too were now long, sinuous, without bones and the suckers on her toes went into his back. He gasped as they pricked him and began to feed.
His eyes stared into her eyes and as she fed the bright blue slowly began to become a bright red. When they were the same colour as blood, she opened her mouth to him once more and her slimy tongue entered his mouth. Instinctively Cobar knew that her tongue was poison, yet the control she had over him, meant he couldn't move away. Finally the poison took hold, Cobar's head began to swim.
After drinking her fill, she pushed the boy from her body. His sightless eyes staring up into the stars and his soul soaring away to join the warrior ancestors.
User Reviews
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-11-09 09:01:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey, send me a mail!
roththesloth.at.hotmail.com
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2009-11-01 12:25:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Awesome final round TuTs (so close too)...I've really enjoyed all of your stories.
Submitted by paxilliona (user info) at 2009-10-30 21:26:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I liked it.
Submitted by AshK (user info) at 2009-10-30 20:48:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2009-10-30 18:11:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You drink too much, toots.
For context, see the Personal History tab on Caulaincourt's Jack McCallum spreadsheet.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2009-10-30 17:29:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
BABA YAGA
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2009-10-30 10:01:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It was an awful experience really...I had been suckered into going to a medieval fighting thing...something like Role Models...you know, one of those things that frankthebear is probably a member of...and I let some douchebag drive my car there and he blew two of my engines cylinders so I was stranded there. Everyone in funny clothes and talking in bad old english. It was the only time I have ever drank to not care where I was. Not my proudest moment.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-10-30 09:19:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
dr
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2009-10-30 09:18:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I went on a three day camping trip once in the middle of nowhere, got drunk on the first night and threw up in my food cooler :(
Just barging in on conversation...it's what I do.
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2009-10-30 08:55:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Nice, what colour was the shirt? and Is wallmart like Kmart? and Did you know you were going to vomit and went to work anyway? or was it unexpected? This was unexpected and I was on the freeway. I had to pull into the train station to go to the loos. I felt like a right crack whore.
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-10-30 08:43:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2009-10-30 08:35:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I threw up in a public toilet while driving to a meeting. =) not my finest moment. Obviously I am not drinking or going out tonight.
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I dont mean to laugh but AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
I only laugh because I have been there before, and you havent lived until you stopped at WAL MART on the way to work to buy a new shirt because the one you're wearing has puke on it. AWESOME
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2009-10-30 08:35:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I threw up in a public toilet while driving to a meeting. =) not my finest moment. Obviously I am not drinking or going out tonight.
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-10-30 08:30:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I bet you werent feelin tip top this morning you lush!
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2009-10-30 08:28:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
haha, sorry dude. I should have explained in the story, but there is a vampire myth in most societies, the octo woman thing is based on the aboriginal vampire. I just didn't have the time or the energy to take a few days to finish it.
Submitted by Ryland (user info) at 2009-10-30 07:33:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
forget it. I am being mean. Too much teeth to my morning blowjob I guess. I just didn't like how the first part to this and the second part didn't seem to be linked in anyway. Octo-bitch's appearance, existence and behaviour all remain unexplained and somewhat out of place. I found this irksome.
As I said, it wasn't terrible by any strectch of the imagination just a little contrived.
Submitted by Ryland (user info) at 2009-10-30 07:30:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
up until the woman turned octopus thingy, I was entertained and intrigued as to where it would go.
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2009-10-30 06:25:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Up until the woman turned into a vampire octopus thingy, this was all a real Aboriginal manhood ceremony.
Submitted by Ryland (user info) at 2009-10-30 05:24:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Didn't like this.
The writing itself was okay, I guess, although there was nothing that really jumped off the page for me. But the story, man, you'll forgive me for saying, was a mediocre idea awfully executed. Dunno, you can call it harsh if you like but there just didn't seem to be any kind of ryhme or reason for it:
Man kills kangeroo. Gets his foreskin snipped. Sees woman. Woman turns out to be one of those crazy vampiric poisonous octopus bitch types. Man dies. Big surprise. Fin.
I'm also fucking tired of reading about genital mutilation up in this bitch, which is something of a cheap shlock tactic I feel.
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2009-10-29 16:03:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 good story, and certainly fits the theme.
For the record, I have to say that I prefer Ducky's, but I'm not gonna screw up a streak, I'm not that type of guy.
Uber is my happy place. I come here when I'm in a cheerful mood.
If I'm feeling a little glum, then I'll log on to a random goth site, make some fake friends, and slowly drip-feed ideas of suicide pacts in order to cheer myself up.
If I'm angry and in the mood for a fight, I'll create a bogus account on some animal rights forum, and then post the menu from a great steak house that I frequent. The death threats alone are worth it, but even better are the arguments about "do you even know how that animal died?"
I grew up on a farm, and my dad was the veterinarian. He took me to my first abbatoir when I was seven, to show me where hamburgers came from. The method in this particular slaughterhouse was a bolt gun, which was placed right between the moo-moo's eyes. The Co2 powered bolt would fire straight in to the cow's brain, through the brain in fact, and when administered correctly would shear the connection between spine and brain, hence causing the animal 'the least amount of suffering'.
However. The guys who work in these places aren't exactly bothered about 'the least amount of suffering'.
They had a game where by they would see how far away from the cow they could fire the bolt, and still kill it. A distance of 6 feet could still result in big lump of potential beef.
These guys drank on the job (apparently it's in the job spec) and I saw one guy try his luck by firing a bolt from about 10 feet away. It struck the cow in the eye, and instead of falling over in the expected manner, the heathen beast reared its legs, and charged the guy with bolt gun, making noises that weren't natural. The cow trampled the guy and broke 3 ribs, an arm, and his collar bone.
His work colleauges just stood around, laughing and pointing at the poor guy.
It was awesome to the 7 year old boy that was me.
My dad took me to a McDonalds afterwards, to see if I still wanted a Big Mac.
Damn right I did. That was the deliciousist burger EVA! He pulled a similar stunt when I was thirteen and he caught me smoking. He made me smoke whole pack of marlboro reds, one after the other. When I was done, he said 'so, you sick of smoking yet?'
I did feel sick, but I was a stubborn fuckhead, even back then.
'Got any more?' was my reply.
Gotta love the memories.
Submitted by RoadSong (user info) at 2009-10-29 14:26:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by LoooseSprocket (user info) at 2009-10-29 13:35:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2009-10-29 10:26:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-10-29 22:16:40 WST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2009-10-29 09:43:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-10-29 21:24:50 WST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2009-10-29 09:17:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Sgt!!!!! we are?
===================
what can I say, I'm completely lost at the innerworkings of Uber...
how are you today?
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Meant to be in bed, I am not so good. But I got a little bit drunk, so it is better. Yourself?
===============
Little bit drunk eh? on what?
isnt it like 2 am there?
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10.30, I only enjoy Uber when I am an insomniac, by the time I actually go to bed it's about 12, 1.00 am. Tonight I am drunk on Vodka and lime cordial with ice, before moving on to Carlton Dry beer, which is a low carb australian beer. Tomorrow I need to be up at 6am, which will be happy joy funliness.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-10-29 10:21:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2009-10-29 09:24:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2009-10-29 21:15:39 WST (#)
Ranking: -2
Wow, this was a cliche of terrible. Enjoy, cuntard!
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Jeez simon, it couldn't be any worse than that horrible gif. of yours. That thing was just terrible- no cliches and *******I usually like your stuff.****** Anyway all good.
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I SHOULD -2 YOU JUST FOR THIS. ENCOURAGING HIM IN ANY WAY WILL HELP NOBODY. DO YOU HEAR ME?
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-10-29 10:16:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2009-10-29 09:43:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-10-29 21:24:50 WST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2009-10-29 09:17:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Sgt!!!!! we are?
===================
what can I say, I'm completely lost at the innerworkings of Uber...
how are you today?
----------
Meant to be in bed, I am not so good. But I got a little bit drunk, so it is better. Yourself?
===============
Little bit drunk eh? on what?
isnt it like 2 am there?
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2009-10-29 09:45:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2009-10-29 21:30:03 WST (#)
Ranking: 2
Question unanswered, twat drip.
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If I were single and drunk who know what would happen. As it is, different countries different cultures etc. But it is Uber so what the hell.
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2009-10-29 09:43:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-10-29 21:24:50 WST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2009-10-29 09:17:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Sgt!!!!! we are?
===================
what can I say, I'm completely lost at the innerworkings of Uber...
how are you today?
----------
Meant to be in bed, I am not so good. But I got a little bit drunk, so it is better. Yourself?
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2009-10-29 09:30:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Question unanswered, twat drip.
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2009-10-29 09:25:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2009-10-29 21:21:32 WST (#)
Ranking: 2
OMG, I just shit myself on account of fright! LOL TTYL WTF Wanna fuck?
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Liar...... I'm off, nite uber.
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-10-29 09:24:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2009-10-29 09:17:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Sgt!!!!! we are?
===================
what can I say, I'm completely lost at the innerworkings of Uber...
how are you today?
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2009-10-29 09:21:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
OMG, I just shit myself on account of fright! LOL TTYL WTF Wanna fuck?
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2009-10-29 09:17:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Sgt!!!!! we are?
Submitted by ridiculous (user info) at 2009-10-29 08:28:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Not at all the ending I was expecting by half way through the story. Well done!
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-10-29 08:18:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
YOU'RE IN A COMPETITION!!!?!?
WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN!!??!
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2009-10-29 06:47:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You too are pretty good at this stuff. Good read indeed.
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2009-10-29 06:38:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2009-10-29 11:54:54 WST (#)
Ranking: 0
This could be so much better, but I have too much shit going on. Sorry Ducky, I just thought Jack would go through and I wasn't prepared.
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Shit is all taken care of now and I'm drunk. Thanks for the positive comments guys.
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2009-10-29 01:25:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2009-10-28 20:54:54 PDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This could be so much better, but I have too much shit going on. Sorry Ducky, I just thought Jack would go through and I wasn't prepared.
__________________
Um, what? Dude this rocked.
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2009-10-29 00:51:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ha ha ha! Bravo. Just when it started to seem like a National Geographic documentary, BANG!
Both these final entries were excellent.
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2009-10-28 23:54:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This could be so much better, but I have too much shit going on. Sorry Ducky, I just thought Jack would go through and I wasn't prepared.