Obamarama (911 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 1.35 on 26 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Matt Maiorano (View user info) at 2009-11-01 19:01:38 EST
You assholes clearly have no idea what you're talking about when you're jumping on the "It's cool to hate on Obama" Bandwagon. All of you naysayers were slobbering all over Obama's nuts when he was in the primaries, and now that people have taken off their rose-colored glasses, you decide to fall in line and pretend like you knew that he was going to bring this country to hell in a handbasket.
WELL FUCK YOU
Obama is the bestest president there ever was.
One time, Obama climbed up to the top of a Redwood to save my Aunt Flo's cat named Mitsy. Not only did he save Mitsy, his very presence in the Redwood forest turned the entire area into a national preserve. My Aunt Flo was so happy that Mitsy had been saved that she decided to allow Obama to assist her with her suicide. What we didn't know, however, was that Obama also single-handedly figured out how to reuse her body as a clean, efficient, and renewable energy source to power Mitsy's litterbox and the surrounding neighborhood for 17 years.
Christ, she loved that fucking cat.
One time I was at an Ozzy Osbourne concert where Ozzy bit the head off a bat. Not to be outdone, Obama bit the head off a Siberian tiger. To Obama's defense, he DID say that the tiger was "getting all up in his grill". Not sure what that means since I don't listen to Hip-Hop, but I'm fairly certain he was telling me that if I didn't stop staring that he would break me in half with little more than a hard stare.
Granted, I think Obama's stance on abortion is completely misguided. Don't get me wrong, I really do enjoy the idea of killing unwanted babies, it's just the thought of letting women make a decision doesn't sit well with me.
As a side note, how cool is it that we have a president who can blow bubbles with a porterhouse steak?
In any case, I really can't sit idly by anymore while you people are calling for Obama to be impeached. He makes colors brighter and our food tastier. He is solely responsible for building Michael Phelps out of a handful of paper clips and a balloon animal. I'm sure that any man who can moisturize his skin with a belt sander is capable of successfully reforming our health care infrastructure.
He's only been in office for less than a year and people are already calling for his head. It's a shame, too, because with all of these distractions that Obama has from his poor ratings and Fox News, he hasn't been able to find the time to chew his way through the Earth's core and into Bin Laden's hideout in the mountains of Afghanistan.
Fuck you guys. You're all just jealous because Obama gets all the bitches.
User Reviews
Submitted by RoadSong (user info) at 2009-11-08 23:42:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2009-11-02 07:52:22 PST (#)
Ranking: 2
but Matt, all politicians are evil. In the American voting system, our choice is always the lesser of two evils.
That reminds me of a joke.
There was a group farmers who were addicted to gambling. They decided to gamble on who would win in a weevil fight, and so they caught some weevils and put them in the ring, in placing bets, everyone asked why the one farmer chose the smaller one, clearly inferior, to which he replied, "I always pick the lesser of two weevils."
Badump-bump.
American politics is a joke, and I wish I'd never voted.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
That about says it all.
Submitted by osmosianist (user info) at 2009-11-07 23:00:14 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Obama is an animal that needs to be put down.
Submitted by cheerios (user info) at 2009-11-07 22:47:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I've been saying Obama was a piece of shit even before he was president.
Submitted by LoooseSprocket (user info) at 2009-11-04 08:47:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-11-03 12:10:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
well they certainly got his musculature right.
i'll be sure to stroke one out to that tonight.
Submitted by zeppert (user info) at 2009-11-03 11:56:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by moneyshotforyou (user info) at 2009-11-03 09:37:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Needed this.
Submitted by Can_Always_Trust_A_Liar (user info) at 2009-11-02 19:50:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
IS THAT THE SUBMARINER?
Submitted by Mr.Bun (user info) at 2009-11-02 16:56:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I met Mr.Obama at the White House for Tea!
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2009-11-02 15:57:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
needs more Rush Limbaugh
Submitted by no1hasdis (user info) at 2009-11-02 15:54:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fucked my rating, sorry.
Submitted by no1hasdis (user info) at 2009-11-02 15:54:15 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2009-11-02 12:18:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
it was so obvious obama was just another fad.
==========
It's whats wrong with modern democracy, top elected officials take aprt in a popularity contest, rahter than voters choosing based on research into their policies. WTf were was Obama's platform that everyone was raving about? "Change" and "yes we can" and the uneducated masses licked up these empty platitudes like a dog licks its vomit.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2009-11-02 12:18:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
it was so obvious obama was just another fad.
Submitted by gascs (user info) at 2009-11-02 11:38:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
brilliant
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2009-11-02 11:37:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I have a menagerie in my anus.
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2009-11-02 11:22:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hot!
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2009-11-02 11:15:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Told ya so.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2009-11-02 10:56:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Only they weren't farmers, they were 18th century sailors, and it wasn't a friend I heard it from, it was "Master and Commander."
Farmers/Sailors in the Queen's navy, same thing.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2009-11-02 10:52:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
but Matt, all politicians are evil. In the American voting system, our choice is always the lesser of two evils.
That reminds me of a joke.
There was a group farmers who were addicted to gambling. They decided to gamble on who would win in a weevil fight, and so they caught some weevils and put them in the ring, in placing bets, everyone asked why the one farmer chose the smaller one, clearly inferior, to which he replied, "I always pick the lesser of two weevils."
Badump-bump.
American politics is a joke, and I wish I'd never voted.
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2009-11-02 09:05:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
What! is happening to Obamas junk in that picture? It looks like it is being fondled by a small black child. Can't you see the little fingers?
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2009-11-01 23:04:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
well, he is keeping everyone and everything calm
which, by-the-way, is the last fucking thing *we* should be doing
he's printing money like zimbabwe used to do and the only reason *we're* getting away with it is most of that money belongs to china, saudi arabia and a few others and they would get fucked harder and dryer if, for some reason, it all got called in
Submitted by MitchTheComic (user info) at 2009-11-01 23:04:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I just really like the pretty picture.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2009-11-01 21:57:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Makes as much sense as any other pro-Obama argument I've heard.
When MSNBC runs this as straight news tomorrow, I'll +2 it.
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2009-11-01 20:37:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
*smiles*
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2009-11-01 20:23:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ha!
Submitted by Lechuga (user info) at 2009-11-01 19:46:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment