Observations from a haunted house (Now With Bonus Camwhore!!!) (777 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1 on 30 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by fallout (View user info) at 2009-11-03 06:30:50 EST
Well, as the job market is so crappy here in Las Vegas, and the unemployment rate in the upper 13 percent(almost 14% last I heard), I had to work the last month at a haunted house. Not that it was all bad, I had quite a fun time, and learned some things. I decided That I would pass them onto you, the readers of this fine site.
1. Midgets aren't scared of anything. Except puddles. Every time I had a midget come into my room they would just walk through casually, as if I couldn't see them. And a lot of the time I couldn't. I did not scare 1 midget this month. I did, however, see 3 midgets appear to get scared when coming upon a puddle in the parking lot and skirt around it.
2. In order to become the part we were playing we had to wear makeup. Most of us set room actors had to get our faces blacked out in order to have the masks blend in. One day a lighter skinned black guy had to get his face blacked out, and he proclaimed," MAMMY!" Not to be outdone, a black guy needed his face whitened, and he started to speak like a resident of Malibu. Very amusing.
3. Overheard from one guy," You need to put moisturizer on before they put the blood on. My parents and I payed over 25 grand to put me through acting school, and we learned this there." Response," Wow, they havent taught us that yet, maybe because we are only 2 years in." Most people who spent their parents money to go to acting school wasted their own time and their parents money. At least half of the people who were working with me(there were over 200, as we had 6 different haunted houses) had been to acting classes and schools. This job payed slightly more than minimum wage. Great career choices.
4. Some people get way into this. As it is only for a month each year, some people go overboard. Guy at the exit right outside of my room did his own latex masks and makeup. He literally spent 2 hours a day making new masks and such, and after makeup painted him up he would spend almost an hour looking into a mirror, and take pictures of himself. Other people would sit at the same mirror and practice their growls and faces. This was very weird.(Sidenote on the guy who made his own masks... He doesn't do it for a living, although he probably could, and he taught himself, as opposed to going through acting schools or anything.)
5. Full latex masks suck. They are fine for a few minutes, but not for 5 plus hours a night. the same goes for strobe lights.
6. It doesn't matter what you yell when wearing aforementioned mask, as long as you do it menacingly. My best scares happened when I screamed gutterally," BUTTSCRATCHER!!! BUTTSCRATCHER POTATO!!!!" I also yelled"SWINE FLU! H1N1!!!" and still got some scares.
7. Nepotism reigns supreme in the amusement park/scare industry. As this haunted house was in an ausement park, and each house had its own managers accountable to no one apparently, since the big boss only put their friends in charge of houses as opposed to just putting those best qualified to do the jobs. In my house the boss kept yelling at 2 guides and 2 of the other rooms' actors. Why, I have no idea,, because her daughter and son in law were the worst guides, and her husband and other daughter were the worst in the rooms, and never once got spoken to about their lackluster performace. The 2 guys who got Scare actors of the month? 2 twins who didn't really do anything. The only reason they won was they were related to the main boss, and had been there since this park started having haunted houses.
I never had to worry, though, as I was in the final room of the house, and got the most scares. Know what that got me? Slightly better than minimum wage, a free meal a night, and I have as of yet to still get my voice fully back. Yay me!
and a pic of what I looked like. I was in a room with 2 strobe lights blaring into my retinas, with hacked up bodies hanging all around me like sides of beef. I got to play with a skillsaw and chase people out.
User Reviews
Submitted by willartstorg (user info) at 2009-11-13 01:29:42 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by cheerios (user info) at 2009-11-09 21:58:56 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
thats not the camwhore any of us wanted to see.
Submitted by paxilliona (user info) at 2009-11-06 21:03:10 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
camwhore say oink
Submitted by RoadSong (user info) at 2009-11-06 00:11:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
A honest nights work in Sin City, go you.
Have you seen "Zoomanity"? There are several shifters in the show.
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2009-11-05 10:35:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That is hot.
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2009-11-05 00:59:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't believe you. Show me your hands.
Submitted by darkwulffe (user info) at 2009-11-04 23:58:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Thats exactly what I thought the others there were. I am just a normal dude trying to make a few extra bucks is all
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2009-11-04 21:04:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
carnie.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2009-11-04 13:53:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Roffel and other such intertubes phrasology
Submitted by LoooseSprocket (user info) at 2009-11-04 08:46:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by darkwulffe (user info) at 2009-11-04 05:50:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
hot!!! That means you like the carpet then? Because of the homosexuality?
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2009-11-04 04:52:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
psst woolfie, I am a female.
Submitted by darkwulffe (user info) at 2009-11-04 02:17:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You were just scared because that guy turned you on, Tuts... Scared of your latent homosexuality...
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2009-11-04 00:01:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I hate haunted houses and ghost trains. We went on a 'sexy ghost train', I asked the guy if it was scary, he says no. Halfway through the ride, a guy jumps out screaming at me, touches me and scares the shit out of me. What an asshole.
Submitted by darkwulffe (user info) at 2009-11-03 18:23:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Yea, 4 out of the 6 houses we had were saw related. They are probably going to get another saw related house next year. I wasn't in a saw house, and was proud of that fact!
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2009-11-03 17:45:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I went to Thorpe Park for the Halloween night, and they were promoting the new Saw film.
The Hog head thing was in abundance there.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2009-11-03 16:27:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Yawnapalooza!
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2009-11-03 16:14:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Squeal piggy, SQUEAL!!
Submitted by darkwulffe (user info) at 2009-11-03 15:53:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2009-11-03 15:34:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
What are the educational requirements needed to pursue a career as "Haunted House Dork"?
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Honestly, I dont know, Shlongy, as I was on the call back list. Yes, I was a b lister. I somehow made it in tho. I was sooooo proud of that...
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Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2009-11-03 11:42:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
minimum wage for a month? how the fuck did you eat?
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Slightly more than minimum wage. And a free buffet-style meal afterwards.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2009-11-03 15:34:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
What are the educational requirements needed to pursue a career as "Haunted House Dork"?
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2009-11-03 11:54:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
BUTTSCRATCHER POTATO!!!!
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2009-11-03 11:42:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
minimum wage for a month? how the fuck did you eat?
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-11-03 11:05:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i laughed at number 6
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-11-03 10:33:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
This was very mildley amusing and in some parts dull.
You could have lied a bit more.
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-11-03 10:31:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
you look like the pigfaced Doctors and nurses from that episode of the Twilight Zone...
those always freaked me the fuck out.
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2009-11-03 10:19:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You know Piglet from Winnie the Pooh? That little mutant fucker always scared the shit out of me.
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2009-11-03 09:49:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I bet you could get paid handsomely to float menacingly over a Pink Floyd concert.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2009-11-03 08:35:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Pigture.
Submitted by darkwulffe (user info) at 2009-11-03 06:59:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
heh, sorry, was taken on a cellphone and in a room with strobes strobing away. If you mean sizewise, sorry again!
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-11-03 06:41:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
*squints*
hmmm i cant see that pic very well