Women, and toilets. (512 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.64 on 18 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by DoYouBadly (View user info) at 2009-11-06 09:05:42 EST
Through my dealings with the fairer sex throughout my life, I have become completely disillusioned with females and have now resorted to the internet in an effort to find one that I can at least tolerate for extended periods of time.
You want to know about me? I'll tell you what I'm not.
1) I am not your father. I will not tolerate childish bullshit when you don't get your way and I will not throw money at you to shut you up.
2) I am not your hobby. That's why you have friends.
3) I am not someone who puts the toilet seat down after I urinate. You're a big girl now and if you can't be bothered to so much as look at where you're about to park your ass, you deserve the cold embrace of toilet water.
As a staunch rationalist, I realize you're probably every bit as bitter with men as I am with your cunt compatriots. My theory is you have not yet lost all hope so we can end our days in perpetual bliss or whatever storybook bullshit those cookie cutter girls get off on.
My ideal woman takes care of herself to some degree. We can't help certain aspects of our appearance, but if you don't bathe regularly and have eaten yourself fat it demonstrates a fatal lack of respect for yourself that one would expect to bleed into other aspects of your behavior.
User Reviews
Submitted by paxilliona (user info) at 2009-11-11 20:34:38 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2009-11-09 22:44:45 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
this is terrible.
Submitted by RoadSong (user info) at 2009-11-09 21:23:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Tell you what. It is possible to find a soul mate on the net. I have a friend who is a M.D. .
She was so busy with her patients and all that she did not have time to date and look for a man so she found one online. They were happy and had a baby. Two years later he died of cancer. So much for happy endings....
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-11-09 21:07:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by willartstorg (user info) at 2009-11-09 20:47:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2009-11-09 18:20:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2009-11-06 11:20:31 PST (#)
Ranking: 0
We meet enough people in real life not to have to resort to the internet.
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arent you forgetting a certain catlover? AND a Bubba?
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That wiped out any future +2s for YOU, asshole.
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yet it assured them from me for a while. funny how this old world works.
Submitted by willartstorg (user info) at 2009-11-09 20:47:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2009-11-09 18:20:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2009-11-06 11:20:31 PST (#)
Ranking: 0
We meet enough people in real life not to have to resort to the internet.
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arent you forgetting a certain catlover? AND a Bubba?
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That wiped out any future +2s for YOU, asshole.
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2009-11-09 20:42:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
if you close the lid before you flush, you are less likely to get pulverized fecal matter on your toothbrush.
True story.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2009-11-09 20:29:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I admire your steadfastness, and I sincerely wish you good luck in your quest for a nice girl on the internet.
However, as a woman, I am obligated to tell you that putting the seat down GREATLY increases your chances of making it past date 4. Just saying.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2009-11-09 18:20:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2009-11-06 11:20:31 PST (#)
Ranking: 0
We meet enough people in real life not to have to resort to the internet.
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arent you forgetting a certain catlover? AND a Bubba?
Submitted by TechnoRatty (user info) at 2009-11-06 15:29:38 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
find this complete post here ----> http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/doc/m4w/1454304998.html
or here --> http://hudsonvalley.craigslist.org/m4w/1440297397.html
FUDD!!
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2009-11-06 14:20:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
We meet enough people in real life not to have to resort to the internet.
If you haven't met a decent girl yet, chances are that you won't.
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-11-06 11:50:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2009-11-06 11:45:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-11-06 06:29:33 PST (#)
Ranking: 0
You know what I am suspicious of? Women who say 'I don't have many girlfriends I tend to only have male friends, I get on with them better'.
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That is so true! I learned it the hard way. And it even seemed appealing when she first told me.
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this is true, but musn't we be wary of the woman that has NO male friends to speak of as well?
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2009-11-06 11:45:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-11-06 06:29:33 PST (#)
Ranking: 0
You know what I am suspicious of? Women who say 'I don't have many girlfriends I tend to only have male friends, I get on with them better'.
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That is so true! I learned it the hard way. And it even seemed appealing when she first told me.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-11-06 10:22:49 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
hey a fag just called you a fag
fagtastic!
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2009-11-06 10:20:53 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Thanks for the tips, Virg.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2009-11-06 09:41:30 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Drogo's right. Your "ideal woman" is a man.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-11-06 09:29:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Haha drogo's comment was a slice of gold.
You know what I am suspicious of? Women who say 'I don't have many girlfriends I tend to only have male friends, I get on with them better'.
I don't care what the guys do in my house with the toilet I have my own. Although I feel a good strop can be comedic - only if half hearted.
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2009-11-06 09:14:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"Through my dealings with the fairer sex throughout my life....." blah blah blah blah Raping your own fist doesn't count.
And this just makes you sound like a fag, there is nothing wrong with being a fag, but this just makes you sound like you are ashamed of being a fag and are desperately trying to hide it.
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-11-06 09:08:10 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Congratulations, you've watched a stand-up comedy routine once and embraced the ideas, attempting to make them your own...