Wuthering Heights – A book review (665 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.23 on 35 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Avals (View user info) at 2009-11-20 08:28:08 EST
They made me read this thing for a book report when I was in high school. The best version they had in the library was the one for "Advanced students," which apparently is the politically correct way of saying "The version for functional retards." On the plus side, I think this version may have been shorter than the original; which is a good thing, considering the only part of the plot I remember is that everyone fucking dies.
Seriously, the whole book is like a game of "guess who croaks next." On the bright side, this serves as an effective countdown to the end of the story. On the less bright side, so does the number of pages left in the book, which is invariably "too many."
In conclusion, Wuthering Heights is like an old-timey draft script of "Before the Devil Knows you're Dead". Come to think of it, why don't I just review that one here as well and save you all 120 minutes of your life:
Everyone dies; nothing else remotely interesting happens for the entire duration of the movie. Do not watch that piece of shit.
User Reviews
Submitted by willartstorg (user info) at 2009-11-25 22:00:01 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Now that Uber is shit and no one cares, a -2 won't hurt anyone's feelings, I'm SURE!!!
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2009-11-22 21:46:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
well, cindy, that explains why you are so incredibly dull.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2009-11-22 16:02:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-11-20 09:20:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I do not shop at argos well only when it's the only place to get a video game
Bill Bailey calling it the laminated book of dreams made me pee a little.
I guess the combination of humour and three kids does that.
my chops remain unbusted, sorry.
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Technically, the laminated book of dreams is the one in the shop not the one you look at in your house.
WH is in my top 3 books along with Orlando by Virgina Woolfe and A Suitable Boy by Vikram Seth.
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2009-11-21 21:45:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
O Noes!
Not That!
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-11-21 21:31:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
careful, he'll call you a dipshit!
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2009-11-21 21:26:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Strong words Bubba-pedo.
Want me to pee in your mouth and wash them out?
again
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-11-21 20:24:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by willartstorg (user info) at 2009-11-20 20:31:52 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2009-11-20 20:14:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Poor poor un-funny Bubba-pedo, repeating himself as usual.
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Why don't you close your diseased hole, you tiny little fuck? You think you are funny, butlooks don't count. Someday when you least expect it someone is going to put your faggot ass in the emergency room. Shut up.
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lol
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2009-11-21 20:02:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Bubba's personal life seems to be falling apart.
LOL.
Submitted by willartstorg (user info) at 2009-11-20 20:31:52 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2009-11-20 20:14:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Poor poor un-funny Bubba-pedo, repeating himself as usual.
====
Why don't you close your diseased hole, you tiny little fuck? You think you are funny, butlooks don't count. Someday when you least expect it someone is going to put your faggot ass in the emergency room. Shut up.
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2009-11-20 20:14:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Poor poor un-funny Bubba-pedo, repeating himself as usual.
Submitted by willartstorg (user info) at 2009-11-20 19:31:47 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Wuthering Heights had not yet been written when I was in high school. However, it is a classic of literature and you are a fucking idiot.
Submitted by willartstorg (user info) at 2009-11-20 19:31:47 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Wuthering Heights had not yet been written when I was in high school. However, it is a classic of literature and you are a fucking idiot.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2009-11-20 13:33:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
JUST LISTEN TO THE KATE BUSH SONG INSTEAD
p.s. Crush anyone with your tanks as of late?
Submitted by ubetidid (user info) at 2009-11-20 12:23:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Could you read jane eyre next
and give us another report?
Submitted by no1hasdis (user info) at 2009-11-20 12:00:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2009-11-20 10:14:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I think that's one of the books on my shelf that I never actually read.
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you should. It's actually a great book.
Submitted by RoadSong (user info) at 2009-11-20 11:49:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Hm. I don't remember the book but I liked the old movie.
You know, some of these stories are pretty good. I never knew mice
lived such interesting lives.
-- Homer Simpson
Itchy & Scratchy & Marge
Submitted by viciousness63 (user info) at 2009-11-20 11:19:57 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Fascinating.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2009-11-20 11:15:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2009-11-20 10:14:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I think that's one of the books on my shelf that I never actually read.
Submitted by messmind (user info) at 2009-11-20 09:37:33 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
http://www.ubersite.com/m/113358
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-11-20 09:33:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i am can certainly give the dartmouth tunnel a run for it's money.
i have never paid attention to physics. i never believe anything said by a man in polyester sweaters and horn rimmed glasses.
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2009-11-20 09:30:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
That's of no real surprise. Physics and all.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-11-20 09:20:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I do not shop at argos well only when it's the only place to get a video game
Bill Bailey calling it the laminated book of dreams made me pee a little.
I guess the combination of humour and three kids does that.
my chops remain unbusted, sorry.
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2009-11-20 09:10:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-11-20 08:48:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I have been to the places the book was apparently set simply because the book is my favourite book of all time ever.
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That and the Argos catalogue?
I'm busting chops this afternoon, like the janitor in Scrubs.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2009-11-20 09:00:39 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-11-20 08:48:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I have been to the places the book was apparently set simply because the book is my favourite book of all time ever.
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2009-11-20 08:42:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I am allowed to be gay, I have a vagina.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-11-20 08:41:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
haha that means your gay
Submitted by Avals (user info) at 2009-11-20 08:40:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2009-11-20 08:34:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
They don't all die in Wuthering Heights.
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Who gives a fuck? It still sucked.
Also, I'm not back. Just popped in for a visit.
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2009-11-20 08:40:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
See that amuses me. Start off with book review and end with talking about the film. You do realise that they change things in films to make them easier to watch, hope you didnt base your piece on the film.
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2009-11-20 08:34:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
They don't all die in Wuthering Heights.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2009-11-20 08:33:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
On the bright side...
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2009-11-20 08:33:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
hahaha
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2009-11-20 08:31:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Auto "I've been gone a while, I'm back now, and I'd just like to say that I have nothing to say" 0.
Submitted by Avals (user info) at 2009-11-20 08:28:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
THE JEW LIVES!