I thought I killed my conscience. (596 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.54 on 13 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Fat Tony (View user info) at 2009-11-22 21:52:50 EST
Selling used cars for a living is the ultimate low. If the FBI ever looked into one dealership, they'd have enough evidence to put the entire dealership away. Telling lies to make money is fraud. Using the internet while telling lies is wire fraud.
We sell a great drivetrain warranty. It covers everything except the seals. To be honest, it dosen't cover anything because any failure can be traced back to an Oring or seal. We push hard to sell this warranty because we can force it into the deal without the bank saying no. The bank will deny a grand for rims, but for a warranty it's a different story. Some warranties that we sell go for two grand, plus when you put them into the deal at 15% financing it's a nightmare. The salesman gets a "thank you" from the warranty company for every warranty we sell (usually 10% of face value), we usually try to sell the warranty at a higher price (we get to split the profit off of the warranty with the dealer). When we can't sell the warranty, we whip out the book: "See, this is what we pay for the warranty, honest! I'll give it to you at cost! That's the best we can do. I'll throw in two free oil changes? Great, sign here, here, here, initial here, sign there...."
I sold a Dodge Caravan to a couple about two months ago. They had a credit score of 510 and came on a taxi because the seen the commercials that we finance anybody. Yeah, we can finance anybody. But it's got to be the car we want to sell at the price we feel is almost rape for an unreal term with dry anal rape interest.
They're both working, they have 5 kids and have $950 down. I don't want to sell them a car, but if I don't somebody else will. Back and forth, back and forth, I know they'll sign the paperwork at 17% but I can't let them do it. I feel bad. They told me that they can barly afford it and I know they wasn't telling me a lie. For some reason they trusted me (they all trust me) and confided in me by saying, "We can afford it, but see if you can go a little lower. I'd love to save an extra $20 a month. See what you can do." I lie to my boss and explain that they will not sign the deal unless we knock $65.00 a month off. I did it! I got them the car for way less.
I went from $432 a month (which they agreed upon) and dropped it down to to $373 per month. I went from 17% down to 9% financing. I was proud of myself, I lied my employer to save a complete stranger and his kids some money.
He asks about the warranty in front of my manager who says, SURE! It's an amazing warranty with a fifty dollar deductible. It's only two grand and it covers EVERYTHING. He bit. Right back up to 425 a month. I tried to make eyecontact with him but he was too happy to have that shitty warranty that is a monster scam.
They walked into the dealership today. The tranny seized and the car was towed in. The service dept. writes up the ticked. Failure due to leak, due toi long story short FAULYT SEAL. Not under warranty.
They break the news to the couple and they start to cry asking a hundred questions a minute. I'm there, but I don't want them to see me. The wife starts to cry when they're hit with the estimate. $4250.00 the husband nearly throws a fit.
Now the way it sort of works is, when a warranty comes in, if we can make them go away the dealer gets a little something extra and when it's bonus time we see a little something extra. This isn't in writing, it's not even said, it's danced around. They never said this, but this is how it works. If we write it up differently, they warranty company will fix it.
I'm in the managers office where we can see everything. I ask the manager if we can help them out, and he barks, "NO! What do you think this is, a charity?"
Everybody in that dealership owes me. I cover for people, I cover up for people, I don't split a comission when I help out another dealer, I cover the mechanics, I do a lot of shit for a lot of people. "Fred, we need to do this man. Look at them." He insists no, he tells me that it's a game and we're the alpha dogs and is trying to get me all wild up and it's not working. "Fred, we're doing this. She's crying."
I walk out, shake their hands, listen to their complaints and then ask them to have a seat. I walk back talk to the service manager who is insisting that we do nothing. "Know that hundred you owe me? Forget about it. Plus, here's another two hundred. Fix the fucking paperwork." He tells me there is no way. I can't offer more money because I don't have it. I can't get tough because I don't have a leg to stand on. I have to be nice. I hate being nice. I very politely asked and begged him to have mercy on a family who was crushed by a shitty car we sold with an even shittier warranty. After 10 minutes, he agreed.
I walked up to them and said, "It's covered under warranty. Forget about the deductible. C'mon I'll take yous home."
I felt like a shmuck. I take them home, they insist on feeding me, I just take some iced tea and they introduce me to their neighbors.
I sold them a car today too. A Honda van with a shitty warranty. They got TVs installed for $1500.
Fred my manager says I have a gift. I fuck the dealership with making them repair a tranny under warranty, then sell a car with TVs and another warranty.
I have a gift alright. It's a one way ticket to hell. I try to do something right, wind up is I fuck another family over (this time I made them pay full price because I knew they wanted the van).
It's one thing to fuck you over and you know I fucked you over. It's a special shitty feeling when I fuck you dry and you thank and hug me and tell all your friends to coem get fucked dry by me.
To make things worse the dealership is offering $2500.00 on Christmas Eve to the top salesman. I really need this bonus.
User Reviews
Submitted by locksly (user info) at 2010-01-10 03:15:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by FatTony (user info) at 2009-11-23 15:28:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Way more interesting. You meet people who want to trust and love you. You get to know people and they tell you stories of why their credit sucks. They act shocked when you show them a two year old charge off "What?!? I paid that off! NO WAY!" It's a crack up.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2009-11-23 14:18:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is a more interesting job then when you had the roofing company
Submitted by FatTony (user info) at 2009-11-23 12:04:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Since day one I've been accused of being an alter.
And a Mexican.
Is there anything wrong with being a Mexican? If I had the choice to be a white mutt or a Mexican, I'd go with Mexican.
Submitted by Comfortably_Numb (user info) at 2009-11-23 08:18:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is exactly why I don't buy warranties.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-11-23 04:35:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
awww
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2009-11-23 04:08:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
People who put themselves in debt by buying shit they don't need deserve no sympathy from anybody.
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2009-11-23 01:36:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah this a big alter. The old Fat Tony Yankee loving used car salesman alter.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2009-11-23 00:05:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Time was I thought used car salespeople were the bottom of the evolutionary barrel. Then I bought a house. Real estate agents and title processors are the lowest form of 'human' life. They are absolutely the most useless, worthless, parasitical wastes of better people's oxygen on this planet and we'd all be better off without them. Worse than Al Gore. Worse than Al Franken. Worse than the soulless unholy offspring of Keith Olbermann and Nancy Pelozi. Yes, that's right, I said it: even worse than Obama.
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2009-11-22 23:42:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Who gives a fuck if a person is an alter, this is a good story. It entertained me.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2009-11-22 23:17:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wLJaQhajM9s
Submitted by willartstorg (user info) at 2009-11-22 22:40:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Do I think you're a shitty alter? Yes. Can you spell and use proper grammar? No.
If by chance you are a real person, you are a cool guy. If not, as I suspect, blow me.
:)
Submitted by DoYouBadly (user info) at 2009-11-22 22:18:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I used to sell cars, its amazing how people don't know shit abut cars, prices, and deals out there, so easy to screw them over it scary.