Behold the awesome power of... (736 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 0.88 on 9 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by SubstnceP (View user info) at 2003-08-20 16:56:56 EDT
The squirrel. At first glance, one might think that this furry little rodent is nothing more than a glorified rat. I urge you to reconsider your assumption. This afternoon I had the privalige of being able to eat lunch outside, as it was a beautiful day. So there I am munching on my lunch, when out of no where I spot a squirrel. Nothing that would have normally held my attention for more than 3 seconds, but this squirrel was different. I had never seen a squirrel like this before. I'm not sure whether it was a gleam in its eye or just the way the sun hit it; But this squirrel had unbelieveably bright shinning eyes.
Naturally, I watched the squirrel for a while to see if it was just the sun. Turns out that it wasn't. This freeking thing had eyes that seemed almost luminescent! I shit you not. I was so shocked (and frankly a little disturbed), that I got the attention of a coworker to make sure I wasn't imagining it. He was in awe as well. So there we sat, staring at this squirrel; Trying to figure out what the hell was happening here. We came to the conclusion that this was no ordinary squirrel. He suggested that it was from hell, sent to earth for the purpose of domination. I didn't agree because the eyes were more of a bright white/yellow color. I told him that if the squirrel was from hell, it would have red eyes...duh! That means the squirrel must be a messenger of God.
I thought that moments like this were pretty f'n rare, so I decided to take full advantage of the situation and try to bring the squirrel closer. It seemed to like the fritos I was throwing in it's vicinity and it came closer to us as a result. I got a really good look at its stomach while it was munching on the snacks I provided and do you know what I saw?
User Reviews
Submitted by marc (user info) at 2003-08-21 08:04:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ok the tale combined with the picture made me laugh out load right as my boss walked by. you get a 2 for that.
Submitted by DrunkMonk (user info) at 2003-08-21 08:03:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Squirrels are rats with fuzzy tails.
Submitted by ubernewbie (user info) at 2003-08-21 00:54:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Haha. That's crazy. A messenger of God likes to munch on fritos.
Who knew?
Submitted by Bhawkfan14 (user info) at 2003-08-20 20:52:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
This sounds like one bad-ass squirrel. Maybe he'll breed with another bad-ass squirrel and start a race of bad-ass squirrels.
That would be, like, bad-ass.
Submitted by glam_daddy (user info) at 2003-08-20 19:50:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i liked it better when it had balls
Submitted by Blitzen (user info) at 2003-08-20 18:03:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
pretty soon squirrels will be playing basketball!
http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=106140174147518540
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2003-08-20 17:54:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Black squirrels are the coolest.
Submitted by Titinita (user info) at 2003-08-20 17:13:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I LOVE that picture, and I love squirrels.
Submitted by SpawnOfStifler (user info) at 2003-08-20 17:11:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Not a bad fictional tale