Why CVS Sucks (4035 hits)
Category: Business & FinancialRating: 1.24 on 28 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <chronicmeup.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2003-08-21 08:50:27 EDT
I'm sure that something similar to this has happened to you before; it has happened to me before once, but I thought it was just an isolated incident. The fact that this has now happened to me twice should tell you something about the national drug chain known as CVS -- which, I've heard, stands for Crappy Value and Service.
I was buying condoms. CVS puts the condoms right in front of the drug pickup counter, so everyone gets to watch you making your selection. There was this large middle-aged woman with a bad permanent standing right in front of the condoms, so I had to ask her to move. She stepped away, then glared at me as I perused the condoms. Did I mention I was also carrying my infant son? I was carrying my infant son. The overweight woman kept staring at me, so I looked at her and said, "I'm trying to avoid another one." She turned the other way then, so I could shop for my rubbers in peace.
I selected the LifeStyles brand condoms, because the 12-pack was on sale. Excited about my condom bargain, I picked up a few other things (contact solution, flashlight batteries, camera film), then took my purchases to the front of the store, where I was rerouted into a Disneyworld-sized line. There were two women running the registers: one of them did not speak English, and the other was literally 85 years old. They both moved with the speed and grace of tranquilized circus elephants, so it was a long line. I had time to bake a lasagna.
Finally, the elderly woman took me at her counter. She rang up the condoms, which scanned at $10.99.
"I'm sorry, but I think those are on sale," I said discreetly. "They should be $9.99."
"What?" said the woman, who had evidently misplaced her ear trumpet.
"They should be a dollar off."
"Which?" The woman began rifling through the bag, and pulled out the contact lens solution. I realized that it was time to go for broke.
"The CONDOMS, ma'am!" I said, loudly enough so that everyone around me could hear. "The CONDOMS are supposed to be on sale!"
"What?" The woman kept fishing around in my plastic CVS bag.
"Maybe we can get over the loudspeaker and do a PRICE CHECK for my CONDOMS!" I shouted.
When you're at the drugstore, you want the clerk to scan the embarrassing items as quickly as possible, before your neighbors see your hemorrhoid cream or Monistat-7. Now the aging clerk was waving my condoms in front of the scanner, as if making smoke signals. It was now ringing up multiple times, all at $10.99. "Maybe we should call over a MANAGER to help us with the PRICING OF MY HIGHLY EMBARRASSING CONDOMS!" I screamed. Behind me, I heard people snickering and snarfing. "RATHER THAN WAVING THEM IN FRONT OF MY NEIGHBORS!"
Finally, a manager came over to see what the commotion was about, and then SHE couldn't get them to ring up at $9.99, either. WHO THE HELL FORGETS TO PUT THE CONDOMS ON SALE IN THE COMPUTER SYSTEM?! The shaving cream, sure, or the candy, but the rubbers? That's just unforgiveable. Finally, the manager voids out all my $10.99 condoms, and charges me $9.99. It was like trying to return a used car. I said thank you, tried to sign my credit card slip while still holding the baby, and hightailed it out of there.
I got into the car, rifled through my bag, and noticed my package of flashlight batteries. Guess what was on my package of batteries? A coupon for $1.00 off that package of batteries.
A brave man would have gone back inside and asked for the additional $1.00 refund. But it probably would have ended up with me screaming, "Could we have a PRICE CHECK on these BATTERIES for my ANAL VIBRATOR?! ANAL VIBE CHECK ON LINE TWO!"
User Reviews
Submitted by lunarose (user info) at 2003-10-24 05:16:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
yeah, stealing is pretty funny...
Submitted by bargled (user info) at 2003-10-17 12:08:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Hahaha you stupid dipshit.
Submitted by natsthename (user info) at 2003-09-30 16:51:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Holy shit, he really did steal that almost word for word!
Submitted by Mofongo (user info) at 2003-09-12 13:44:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
People, stop encouraging this asshole to steal more stuff from John Hargrave and Zug.com.
Visit this link, to see John's work. The REAL Autor of all this posts:
http://www.zug.com/gab/user_articles.cgi?user=johnhargrave
By the way, read the one at the top first, so you can see that all ChronicDIPSHIT does is change a few lines and "copy/pastes" the rest.
Fucking dumbass...
Submitted by Kathryn <kittiepryd.at.yahoo.com> at 2003-09-12 11:05:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah, I thought it was pretty funny when I read it the first time...on www.zug.com.
Submitted by MongoLloyd <mongolloydofthehillpeople@hotm> at 2003-09-12 09:53:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Very funny!
Nobody rips off www.zug.com as well as you!
Submitted by rictorscales (user info) at 2003-09-05 15:54:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by dbcooper (user info) at 2003-09-03 17:17:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
YAY! Best yet! :)
Submitted by Otter (user info) at 2003-08-25 02:22:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Holy shnikes! Funny suff, dude.
Submitted by Hairsphincter (user info) at 2003-08-25 01:49:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I just snarfed.
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2003-08-25 01:37:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Haha!
Submitted by earth_collapse (user info) at 2003-08-21 17:29:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice story, but my sister was a cashier, and all that hassle over 1 fucking dollar is a bit much. She hated when people would make her do price checks over small amounts of money. 90% of the time it was the customers fault for reading the wrong price tag or savings tag.
Submitted by Raimee (user info) at 2003-08-21 11:44:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That was great.
Submitted by JinkyWilliams (user info) at 2003-08-21 11:30:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"snickering and snarfing."
Submitted by dirtypaws <@springmail.com> at 2003-08-21 11:26:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHAHAHHAHA That is the funnist shit I have read on Ubersite in a long time. You take the cake dude, that was awesome.
>^,,^<
Submitted by Lisa (user info) at 2003-08-21 11:22:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I was carrying my infant son. The overweight woman kept staring at me, so I looked at her and said, "I'm trying to avoid another one."
********
Haha!
Good story. I used to work at a drugstore. My old coworkers were rather slow when ringing up items, personal or otherwise, and I felt the customers' pain. There seem to be little or no qualifications necessary for hiring at any drugstore.
Submitted by DJMattB241 (user info) at 2003-08-21 11:13:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
VERY funny. the anal lube part had me laughing out loud... in front of the boss.
oh well.
quality!
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2003-08-21 10:54:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice, very funny! I am gonna go back and read some of your other stuff.
Like my cohort said : Never mind the bollocks...
Submitted by Judoka (user info) at 2003-08-21 10:49:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I love reading your stuff. Highly entertaining.
"What?" said the woman, who had evidently misplaced her ear trumpet.
Great line.
Submitted by KireDesu (user info) at 2003-08-21 10:28:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
haha, nice work
"Crappy Value and Service"
Submitted by IndianOcean (user info) at 2003-08-21 10:25:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
PRICE CHECK ON >.....
hahhhhahhaha
Submitted by DrunkMonk (user info) at 2003-08-21 09:37:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahaha, that was excellent!
Submitted by DooZa (user info) at 2003-08-21 09:33:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"I heard people snickering and snarfing."
I snarfed my ass off.
Submitted by PopNFresh (user info) at 2003-08-21 09:28:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Funny if a little unbelievable
Submitted by Rivers_Liebig (user info) at 2003-08-21 09:19:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Better than my condom story!!
Oh man, you rule.
Submitted by marc (user info) at 2003-08-21 09:13:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
lol that was truly funny.
Submitted by Manfre (user info) at 2003-08-21 09:04:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Could we have a PRICE CHECK on these BATTERIES for my ANAL VIBRATOR?! ANAL VIBE CHECK ON LINE TWO!"
I got yelled at for that one... GAFAW!!!!
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2003-08-21 08:58:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Now THAT is a funny story.
Never mind the bollocks...............