Goodbye. (675 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.35 on 22 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by MOssiah (View user info) at 2003-09-08 23:42:16 EDT
I am raw.
The butterflies that were flying around inside my stomach, previously giving me anxiety, are now dead. Their small flaking bodies smashing against the lining of my interior walls, as waves on a rocky beach.
I ache for numbness. A sensory deprivation would be as heaven to me now.
I would like to say that I have tired quickly of the apologies and condolences that people have given me, but each one cuts anew, fresh blood slowly seeping. Caking. Scabbing.
I receive hugs from people I don't know. They try to impart their sorrow on me, for me. My legs cramp and ache from hours spent sitting on the floor whilst I listen to prayers in a tongue I don't understand. The hymns, whilst being in another language, are familiar to me, and somewhat soothing.
I find my traditional garb, at the back of the cupboard in my parents house. It has that strange smell clothes get when they haven't been used for a long period of time. I leave it on a chair in the dining room, letting it air out a little, whilst I listen to my mother making preparations on the phone.
The clothes I'll be wearing are made of such thin, finely threaded material. It's scheduled to rain tomorrow. I wonder to myself if that will affect the turnout. The water falling will saturate my clothes quite quickly during the walk, and for a moment I wonder if it will become see through, before I realise vain and trivial my thoughts are.
I frequently look in on my father, quietly examining him and checking him as he goes about his business as always. He is a man of routine. I look for cracks in his wall and wonder how he is doing, without actually asking. It's a senseless question.
I prepare myself to say goodbye.
User Reviews
Submitted by MOssiah (user info) at 2003-09-10 03:38:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Thanks to everyone.
Hair, don't stress. I didn't take anything the wrong way.
Just_another_idiot - no I didn't come to uber to say goodbye. Of course not. It was just a story of how I was feeling at the given time. It made me feel good to write it. That's all. I wasn't looking for comfort from you people. I don't even know any of you. There would be no point. It was just therapeutic writing it.
Loren, it was my Grandmother, father's side.
Thanks again.
Mo.
Submitted by Hairsphincter (user info) at 2003-09-09 19:57:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2003-09-09 09:45:35 (#)
Ranking: 1
Hair - You're too sweet, how come guys like you are so hard to find up-over?
Sorry - we're all down under, sweet people like me, MOssiah, ID... It's just how we are bred alonside the Crocodile Hunter and all these Koalas...
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2003-09-09 11:56:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Mossiah: Bless you. Try to reach serenity ok?
accept what you cannot change
change what you can
know the difference
I cannot tell you how sorry I am to hear this.
Take care.
Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2003-09-09 11:49:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My condolances MO.
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2003-09-09 09:45:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
MOs- Who did you lose? If you don't mind sharing a little more... A grandparent?
It's been so long since I had living grandparents. I would swear though, that my grandmother visits me from time to time in my dreams.
Oh Just and idiot - you're SO DEEP! SO SMART! I wish I had come up with a name like that! Pure brilliance! *cough*
Hair - You're too sweet, how come guys like you are so hard to find up-over?
MickGinny - "i hate the word whilst" -- ME TOO.
Submitted by SubstnceP (user info) at 2003-09-09 09:25:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Isn't this the guy from Dead Man on Campus?
"I got some beers...let's drink um!"
Submitted by Hairsphincter (user info) at 2003-09-09 06:59:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
jai - it's cool, it's MOssiah we should be concerned with.
I hope he is well.
Submitted by just_another_idiot (user info) at 2003-09-09 06:49:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
the reason i used that name is because it seems like every little comment made on here is torn apart and criticized, so i thought i'd be upfront and let everyone know, hey, i am not god, i dont know everything, i'm not always right, yes, i am an idiot... at least i can admit it, unlike alot of people on this site... sorry didnt mean to turn this into another post about my name! :)
GOOD POST, SORRY FOR THE MISUNDERSTANDING :)
Submitted by Hairsphincter (user info) at 2003-09-09 06:23:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
J.A.I. - When I used the name "idiot", it was because of your name... Just_Another_Idiot.
I have freely admitted that I also mistook this at first.
Sometimes reading what people "say" isn't getting accross what they mean. I didn't intend to be rude - even if it reads that way.
Submitted by just_another_idiot (user info) at 2003-09-09 06:12:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
even though you were quite rude to me when i was just asking questions, thanks for explaining, i understand now
Submitted by just_another_idiot (user info) at 2003-09-09 06:06:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
i wasnt trying to be an ass or anything, i was just asking, i AM being humble
Submitted by dasteve (user info) at 2003-09-09 05:52:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Hairsphincter (user info) at 2003-09-09 05:34:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
just_another_idiot.. yes, you are.
I didn't understand a first, but MOssiah's subtlety was discussing a funeral. He lost a relative.
Time to be humble, idiot.
Submitted by just_another_idiot (user info) at 2003-09-09 05:29:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
so...... let me get this straight.... you came on uber to say goodbye??? hmmmmmm...... good peice, but i cant help but wonder why you posted this up here, you say how numb you are, and when people try to comfort you, you just feel worse... so what do you want us to do??
Submitted by Hairsphincter (user info) at 2003-09-09 05:19:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
When I read this first, I honestly thought it was you saying goodbye to singledom and moving to commitment. I have re-read it, and apologise if my last comment was cruel.
There is nothing else I can say.
Bless.
Submitted by Hairsphincter (user info) at 2003-09-09 05:16:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I am sorry to hear that. My thoughts are with you.
Submitted by MOssiah (user info) at 2003-09-09 00:31:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hindu Funeral Hair.
Submitted by Hairsphincter (user info) at 2003-09-09 00:30:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hindu wedding?
Submitted by MickGinny (user info) at 2003-09-09 00:11:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i hate the word whilst, and i hate the fact that i actually enjoyed this piece.
Submitted by settle (user info) at 2003-09-09 00:00:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Party03 (user info) at 2003-09-08 23:55:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Excellent.
Submitted by Miss_Sim (user info) at 2003-09-08 23:46:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Speechless, tears welling up at my desk. Well done again.