http://www.jackinworld.com/ (6042 hits)
Category: Humor -> Dirty HumorRating: 1.11 on 9 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <flip4tw3nty.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2003-08-21 20:56:47 EDT
"A tasteful site for first time whackers"
THE ONE-FOREARM PUMP
On a reasonably soft surface, lie face-down. Using whichever arm is comfortable, reach under your body and gently grip your scrotum. Lay your erect penis on the inside of your forearm, and pump while massaging your scrotum. This is especially effective with lube, or if you produce a great deal of natural lubrication. The sensation of smooth skin and body heat is very enjoyable.
Site features sections such as Jackinsider.
WHAT THE HELL!? Who ever thought for a masturbation tecnique site?
Here's some hilarity from Jackin' QnA:
I have a 6-year-old son who has discovered his penis. I stopped him from masturbating a couple times in the last week, but it doesn't seem to work. I don't know what to say to him except to wait until he is older. Is this normal, and is there something I can say to him to make him stop doing this until he is older?
Hate to break it to you, Pops, but you're instilling in your son all sorts of negative ideas about masturbation and sexuality in general — ideas he will likely have to overcome when he gets older. All boys are fascinated by their genitals and the pleasurable sensations they can get from them, and no harm will come from a boy masturbating, even as a baby. When a parent tells a child not to touch himself there, the child gets the idea that doing so is somehow wrong. If your boy rubs himself in public, or even around the house, the best approach is to take him aside and say you understand that what he's doing feels wonderful — but that giving yourself pleasure is something that should be done privately, and that some people would rather not see a person doing that activity. Be careful not to be judgmental in your tone. It will do wonders for your son's future attitude toward sexuality if you tell him that self-pleasuring is a beautiful gift but that there is a time and a place to do it.
I am 16 years old and masturbate every night — sometimes 3 times a night. I have been masturbating for years now and cannot stop. I try stopping once in a while, but it is not possible. The most days I can go without masturbating is like two days. Why am I so addicted to masturbating? Is this normal? Am I going to be addicted to masturbating for my whole life? How can I get out of this habit?
Here's the short answer: You can't. Here's the long answer: You cannot. Seriously, unless you're willing to join a monastery and live a life of absolute purity, there's little point in fighting the urge. Virtually all men have the urge to procreate (or to simply ejaculate regularly) — it's built into our bodies after millions and millions of years of evolution. The urge will wane gradually as you get older — but like it or not, even when you're an old man you'll probably have the urge to ejaculate every so often. So our advice is, just realize it's normal, relax, and enjoy it. (And use a lube so you don't tear your penis to pieces one of these nights.)
I'm 67. Will there be a time in my life when I will no longer feel the need to masturbate? I read that more and more people are living to be 100 — do they masturbate?
JackinWorld has a lot of older readers, some into their upper 80s. (And for some reason, an especially large number of Question of the Week responders claim to be 69!) Masturbation frequency does decline with age, but the decline is much slower than many people think. It's not like middle-aged people masturbate half as often as 20-year-olds, and then almost never by the time they're 70 — a 70-year-old might still masturbate 3 or 4 times a week. We don't have any numbers for you regarding people past the century mark — but you can be sure the only time you'll definitely stop masturbating is after you've stopped breathing.
I am 16 and have never, ever masturbated. I've ejaculated in my sleep 3 or 4 times, though. Is this normal? I think this may make losing my virginity a much more incredible experience — am I correct?
It certainly is normal, if not universal, for males who rarely masturbate to have nocturnal emissions. (Many men who masturbate regularly never experience "wet dreams.") Regarding your second question, if that's the reason why you don't masturbate, it seems a little silly. While having your first waking orgasm coincide with this event could in fact be an earth-shattering experience, the chances are it won't work out the way you hope. For example, since you'll have essentially no experience controlling your body's sexual response, you could be a prime candidate for premature ejaculation — or "leaving the Christmas package at the door," as I like to call it. On the flipside, by building up your expectations greatly, you might find yourself unable to reach orgasm the first time. Either way, the experience of losing your virginity could be a huge let-down. I'm not saying one of these things will happen, but it just seems silly to deny yourself the pleasure, not to mention lose the opportunity to learn about how your body works sexually — one of the best things about masturbation.
A person I know found out I like to masturbate. Now it's kind of spreading around school, and I am being teased and criticized. I had the impression from your site that most guys masturbate, but most of them are claiming they don't. Can you give me some advice on how to handle the situation?
- age 14, Canada
You've hit on one of the very reasons JackinWorld exists! Believe me, every last kid who has teased or criticized you for masturbating — they all masturbate themselves. They feel guilty about it, because of the negative environment surrounding masturbation (which, of course, they're perpetuating). The only way they can handle their intense guilt is by teasing others about it — the ultimate form of denial. It's a horrible, horrible thing, but it happens almost universally, so JackinWorld is here to try to fight it.
My advice would be just to completely reject all of their denial. If someone says, "I've never masturbated in my life," ask them how old they were when they first did it. If they say only losers who can't get girls masturbate, ask them what their favorite method is. Congratulate them that they've learned to enjoy masturbation, and tell them how you like to do it. Tell them you're going to be the world's best lover because you've had so much practice. And tell them about JackinWorld! They need it more than anyone! Handling the situation this way is probably not something you would otherwise do, but you will baffle them with your sincerity, and after a while, they'll feel like idiots. You'll completely disarm them, and they won't be able to hurt you anymore with their comments. It's turning the other cheek, killing with kindness — the only thing you can do in this situation and emerge with self-respect, as well as the respect of your peers.
Is it true that all girls masturbate at the age of 13 or 14? One of my friends says she's done it only about 4 times, and another one says she doesn't, and a third says all girls do it. What is the percentage of 13- and 14-year-old females who masturbate?
I have no idea. But it's safe to say certainly not every girl your age masturbates. If one of your friends told you that, we have to say to you, don't believe everything your friends tell you! Surely some younger teen girls masturbate regularly, but I'd have to guess that among the general population, the fraction is probably one-third or less. Many women discover masturbation when they're a bit older — 16, 18, 20, and beyond.
I'm 17. Recently I went a few days without masturbating, and to my surprise I found myself notably more attracted to girls. I suddenly found myself staring at girls I'd never noticed before, as if I were in love. Did my abstaining from masturbation lead to this at all?
Probably. If you're used to ejaculating regularly, going without can really mess with your head. The results can vary; in your case it seems to have been rather pleasant, but others report almost a temporary insanity, when you're liable to do things and think things you definitely wouldn't otherwise. For those people, we at JackinWorld recommend regular masturbation for peace of mind!
When I reflect on orgasms that were especially satisfying, it always seems to be those in which I could clearly feel the progression of the semen all the way through my penis and could distinctly feel each spurt as it came out. This sensation seems essential to a truly satisfying ejaculation. Is there any way to help make this a part of every ejaculation, or is it the luck of the draw?
Most males do indeed equate orgasmic pleasure with the quantity of semen ejaculated. My main suggestion is to stimulate yourself for as long as possible (delaying orgasm) before ejaculation. When you're heavily aroused your body secretes more of the fluids that make up an ejaculation, and they tend to build up. When you finally ejaculate, you'll expel more semen, and it will feel better. Also, drinking lots of water an hour or so before the session can help increase the ejaculate volume.
User Reviews
Submitted by Illicit_Joe (user info) at 2003-08-23 01:20:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Otter, I hope I do dream of it. But it will be me getting sucked off by your girl.
Submitted by atz (user info) at 2003-08-23 01:09:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Scantily_clad_vixen (user info) at 2003-08-22 01:30:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
THIS IS FUCKIN GREAT
I wonder if they have one for females?
LOL
Submitted by Hairsphincter (user info) at 2003-08-22 01:09:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Otter, we've been over this. What you wrote was "oversharing". Dr Phil will be with you shortly.
Submitted by Otter (user info) at 2003-08-21 23:31:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'd had sex several times before the first time I ever spanked my monkey. I was under the impression that one ce you had sex a few times, the need to choke the chicken was deminished. Now I get my wanker wet almost every weekend and I still whak my pud.
She got pissed one time because I was going at it while she was asleep next to me and I woke her up. She gave me blue balls earlier that night and I needed to relieve that pain somehow. Fortunately she chose to finish me off.
Wow, that was probably way more information than any of you wanted to know. Oh well, that image is now burned into your brains, now I'm going to hit your subconsious and imbed it there so you dream about it tonight, MMHHOOOHHOOHHOOHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!
Submitted by Rivers_Liebig (user info) at 2003-08-21 22:04:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Highly informative. Wrong, but they tried.
I have never masterbated (God's truth) but for those who do, knock yourselves out. I have no problem with it whatsoever.
Submitted by Semi_Random_Joe (user info) at 2003-08-21 21:56:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I love this:
"JackinWorld assistant editor Bruce McFarland is a true expert on masturbation"
In other words he's a complete fucking wanker. I don't think I'd put that on my CV.
Submitted by Electro (user info) at 2003-08-21 21:41:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
errr... uh, I have visited that site before... heh
Submitted by shadowdragon (user info) at 2003-08-21 21:08:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
wow. theres really is a site for everything.
ya know, i was bored before i read this post, but i think i found something to do.
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im gonna eat dinner.