one drunken night (489 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 1.4 on 5 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by SubstnceP (View user info) at 2003-08-28 10:31:07 EDT
So two nights ago, my friends and I head out to the bars. In Philadelphia, the city of brotherly love, there are plenty of ways to find trouble...trouble is what we found. After knocking back a few gin and tonics at each of the 4 bars we visited that night, my friends decide it's time for a round of "knock the shit out of each other" in the middle of the street. Not a great idea, because even at 2am, there is still traffic in the city. Naturally after two minutes or so of smashing each other into buildings, one of my buds got hurt. His name was Joe "Wack-o" "Nutsack" Grizany for clarification purposes. Turns out Joe tripped, fell, and busted the shit out of his wrist while participating in said shinanigans. At first it was no biggie, the the swelling set in. He definitly needed medical attention STAT. So off we went, drunk as a pack of skunks, to the emergancy room. At this point in the night, we were at that point where the initial happy phases of drunkness had long passed and the painful, bitter, old man drunkness had set in. Except for Joe. He was still off of his rocker. Probably due to the initial shock he had from hurting him self.
When we finally arrived at the hospital, Joe's wrist looked like a mangled piece of road kill. Very disturbing sight. We sat in the emergancy room for about 30 mins (which is rare, because it usually takes 4 hours) when a nurse finally took us to a bed and began surveying the situation. Being that "Wack-o" was still completely blitzed, the nurse had to ask a series of questions to complete the form in it's entirety. He had problems with spelling his last name. When she got to the part about allergies, Joe quickly sat up. He looked the nurse square in the eye and told her that he was allergic to hot wing sauce and black tar herion. We all just stood there stupified because of the look on the nurses face. With that, "Nut sack" jumped up out of the bed and took off running toward the door. He didn't stop. It took my friends and I about 45 mins to explain to the nurse/security/hospital staff, that he was not a prank and that he did infact hurt his wrist. We lied and told them he was not from around the area and that if they didn't let us go look for him, he could hurt himself further.
We found him waiting for us on the corner near the hospital' E.R. enterance. He was still totally beligerant. He said that he ran around the block four times waiting for us to come and get him with the car. We told him how uncool his actions were and reminded him that the hospital has all of his contact information. I'll fill you in when I hear more!
User Reviews
Submitted by LazyFatAss (user info) at 2003-08-28 15:25:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I have a friend like that. We stopped hanging out and I hardly even talk to him anymore. It's because he's in jail. He's doing good though because he is an excellent ping-pong player and is great a spades.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2003-08-28 13:03:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I like the sound of your pissed nights out.
Shit hot.
Submitted by Prosthetic_Forehead (user info) at 2003-08-28 11:15:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I feel you. Yeah I have a few "nut sack" friends that get strait stupid whenever they drink. Then, my night is shot as i loose my buzz and just get pissed off.
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2003-08-28 10:51:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
hahaha
Hotwing sauce and heroin.
Submitted by lowsodiummonkey (user info) at 2003-08-28 10:41:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You need to stop hanging out with him.