I Love You (2066 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 0.91 on 32 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Tina (View user info) at 2003-08-30 00:34:28 EDT
Macte nova virtute, puer, sic itur ad astra.
I move back to campus Sunday. I was supposed to move in tomorrow, but I don't want to. I need to work really hard this semester. Not just to be a sucessful pre-med student, not just to keep my scholarship, but to survive the next fifteen weeks and somehow accomplish something. My average had dropped to 3.3 last semester because of Chem lab and Calc, which I got C's in. While I realize a semester with no food, sleep, or relaxation and multiple involuntary and rapid medication changes can't be conducive to learning, piddling around Ubersite to avoid looking at all the work in front of me didn't help either. I don't want to go back to college. I would love a reason not to. But I have to. I have to work hard. If I am going to stay with pre-med I have to work harder than I ever have before.
That means I shouldn't lurk around here anymore. Lurking leads to more lurking which leads to an hour wasted online. So I can't come at all. And that saddens me. It shouldn't, but it does, because this is where I have done all my real talking with other people. It was my choice to avoid friendship and real human contact, but I strangely don't regret it. My best friend doesn't even try to talk to me anymore, so I know I shouldn't get too attached to people. Because they move on without me, and only I grieve. The truth is my best conversations last semester weren't spoken. They were written. To really cool people I have only met through words.
Tonight the stars are falling on me, and I don't think I am gonna sleep tonight. I feel so very small and helpless. Small and lonely. Small and broken. I feel like I am broken and I can't be fixed. My heart is tired. I want to run away. College has driven me down. I have driven me down. I don't know why I feel this way, but I know it is all my doing. I feel incapable of anything. I feel the school is going to be sorry they gave me that scholarship. I don't know why I can't enjoy anything. I want to rest forever and forever and forever. My whole summer was spent dwelling on these thoughts. I don't know how much more of this I can take. I'm wasting away.
I may continue to lurk, but I shouldn't. So I will try very hard not to. If anything I will read occasionally, but I will especially avoid any writing myself. Just so you know. I will respond to anyone who contacts me. I promise that. I also may not sign myself in MSN messenger as much, but when I do, I will send you rainbow and flower and sun emoticons. With a la la la.
As this is my last chance to get stuff out, I love you.
But you knew that.
da mi basia mille, deinde centum,
dein mille altera, dein secunda centum,
deinde usque altera mille, deinde centum.
dein, cum milia multa fecerimus,
conturbabimus illa, ne sciamus,
aut ne quis malus inuidere possit,
cum tantum sciat esse basiorum
User Reviews
Submitted by Maleficus (user info) at 2003-11-29 11:43:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
El sueño de ràzon produce los monstruos
Submitted by Lisa (user info) at 2003-09-05 01:38:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Fuck. I thought for sure this was going to be about me.
Submitted by Titinita (user info) at 2003-09-01 00:20:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
all work an no play makes tina a dull girl
all work an no play makes tina a dull girl
all work an no play makes tina a dull girl
all work an no play makes tina a dull girl
all work an no play makes tina a dull girl
all work an no play makes tina a dull girl
all work an no play makes tina a dull girl
all work an no play makes tina a dull girl
all work an no play makes tina a dull girl
all work an no play makes tina a dull girl
all work an no play makes tina a dull girl
all work an no play makes tina a dull girl
all work an no play makes tina a dull girl
all work an no play makes tina a dull girl
Submitted by Titinita (user info) at 2003-09-01 00:06:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Classes start Tuesday.
There is still time if anyone wants to come break my legs or put me in a coma.
Or both if you want.
Submitted by Titinita (user info) at 2003-08-31 23:59:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
SOMEONE GET ME OUT OF HERE!!!
Submitted by Semi_Random_Joe (user info) at 2003-08-31 19:28:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
El sueño de la razón produce monstruos, Francisco Goya.
Random Latin quotation: Christianos ad leones.
Submitted by Titinita (user info) at 2003-08-30 16:14:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The artist's name is Fransico Goya. Who said anything about him being a Roman?
Submitted by Maleficus (user info) at 2003-08-30 15:12:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
and that pic is made by a spanish guy, not latin O:
Submitted by Maleficus (user info) at 2003-08-30 15:11:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
thats one of my favorite works of art dude "the sleep of reason produces monsters" or "el sueño de la ràzon produce los monstruos" O:
Submitted by hendrixjrr (user info) at 2003-08-30 14:48:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If it's possible to love someone you've never met, Tina, I love you.
Jason
Submitted by Natophelia (user info) at 2003-08-30 14:11:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hehe..cute this is in under Romance.
Man..that's a shame. I just got here, and you seem like a real sweetheart. Just think...it's amazing what you can do when you have to do it! Keep doing the next indicated thing, and you'll be done in no time ;)
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2003-08-30 13:12:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You'll be social enough one day. I have seen it happen with people who lived in closets for years.
It will be good for you
Submitted by Titinita (user info) at 2003-08-30 12:04:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Insane, it isn't all in my head:
*My scholarship requires I take at least 12 credit hours per semester.
*I must maintain a 3.2 average.
I thought this would be easy, but:
*My average has already dropped to 3.3 because of Chem lab and Calc.
*I have two lab sciences this semester, not just one. And I am trying to bring UP my GPA.
*I have been waitlisted for Bio lab. So far my schedule only has 7 credit hours on it. I can't pick my fifth and final class until I know what time my Bio lab ends up being. I don't know what I will pick for my last class...I can't take certain classes until I declare a major. I can't declare a major until after classes start. The classes I do want are full. So now I have this bill that only states I am taking six credits, which means my scholarship check won't clear until I am registered full time with 12 credits.
*I didn't intern this summer. See below.
*I am an idiot, who needs to drop pre-med and pick another major.
I am also now in a suite, which means I have five roomies. Have I mentioned before I am not social?
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2003-08-30 10:25:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ok, I had typed a long response to this. Forget that.
I will say:
You are a perfectionist. Quit it, it only will drive you deeper into insanity.
You are focusing too far in the future. DO what you gotta do, today.
Your whole fixation on college and being "pre-med" is well, frightening. You need not obsess so much over it. As you can plainly see, you are making yourself very sick over it.
3.3 gpa? Oh MAN, they SURELY will kick you out for that! Come on you know that's fine, and will go up if you want it to.
I do not know what to tell you. I self isolate a lot, but when I feel better, or use drugs I am quite sociable.
I hope you feel okay with the move. Relax. People are inherently good and will see the good in you.
Submitted by Semi_Random_Joe (user info) at 2003-08-30 10:10:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ego linguam latinam edisco.
Submitted by Titinita (user info) at 2003-08-30 07:10:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Suus cuique mos. Suum cuique.
Meus mihi, suus cuique carus.
Mememto, terrigena.
Mememto, vita brevis.
Meus mihi, suus cuique carus.
Et itur ad astra.
Submitted by Beer_bong (user info) at 2003-08-30 05:46:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
For PAS
Sona si Latine loqueris= Honk if you speak Latin
I have that sticker on my truck. I get made fun of a lot for it when I go riding. So far, nobody has honked though.
Tina- Hell yeah, drop me a line sometime. medium_pimpin365.at.hotmail.com or hey_look_an_elephant.at.yahoo.com I have Yahoo and MSN messenger too. I'm not home right now, but maybe we can talk later.
Working at 3 oclock in the morning sucks.
Submitted by Beer_bong (user info) at 2003-08-30 05:37:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I was hopeing that someone would give me a honk.
hehehe
Submitted by Titinita (user info) at 2003-08-30 05:28:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh, and since you asked, "Macte nova virtute, puer, sic itur ad astra" means "Good speed to thy youthful valour, child! So shalt thou scale the stars!" It is from Virgil's Aeneid: Book 9, Line 641.
I gave the translation for that beautiful excerpt from Catullus's fifth poem in my very first reveiw at the bottom.
Oh yeah...Bear Bong...HONK!
Submitted by Titinita (user info) at 2003-08-30 05:22:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Really, Beer_Bong? I'd love too.
And Fair Wendy, my overseas big sister, I would like nothing more than to continue getting advice from a person who has so many qualities I wish I had.
Maybe my mood will change soon. But it looks bleak for now because the closer Tuesday gets, the harder it is for me to breath. I am such a mess. How am I to do anything worthwhile in this condition? I am so worried.
Sigh...
Submitted by PeopleAreStrange (user info) at 2003-08-30 04:55:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I love you too Tina.
I don't know any latin - can someone translate?
Tina, please keep in touch with me via email. I understand you need to concentrate on your studies. Please don't think so little of yourself you are a lovely, genuine person I wish there were more people like you, I wish there were a hundred you's for every arrogant self-centred, tread on the little-man arseholes there are in the world.
Remember, there are good people away from your computer too, be brave and give them a chance.
PAS
xxxxxx
Submitted by Beer_bong (user info) at 2003-08-30 04:27:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Spero nos familiares mansuros
For Tony:
Utinam barbari spatium proprium tuum invadant!
Plus 2 to anyone who understands any of what I've said.
Hehehe, I'm watching Late Night and one of the guests runs a porn company that employs his family, including his daughter.
Submitted by kinney69 (user info) at 2003-08-30 03:40:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Tina, I feel the same way. Eerily similar. I was thinking something similar to that on my drive home from work. I always think about things like that when I drive at night...
------
"When the leaves burn summer ends. Summers gone, you wasted every day."
-Buffalo Tom
Summer
Submitted by jwlmar10 (user info) at 2003-08-30 02:24:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Wow. You are very crazy. You are probably a complete whack-job. Get some help.
Submitted by acrog (user info) at 2003-08-30 02:12:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hang in there. you will make it. it will be worth it.
Submitted by Beer_bong (user info) at 2003-08-30 01:01:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sona si Latine loqueris
Submitted by Semi_Random_Joe (user info) at 2003-08-30 00:53:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Did you have an Amiga 500 too?
Submitted by Otter (user info) at 2003-08-30 00:50:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well Titinita momacita, have fun with the schooling, do well, and fear not for as long as we have hidden, we shall not be with out a sweet, pure, innocent virgin soul to sacrifice in the Überhood.
Via con dios, mi Amiga.
Submitted by seansdementia (user info) at 2003-08-30 00:42:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
and again for the latin
Submitted by seansdementia (user info) at 2003-08-30 00:42:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I love the latin
Submitted by antluvdog (user info) at 2003-08-30 00:40:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You need a man.
Submitted by Titinita (user info) at 2003-08-30 00:37:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Give me a thousand kisses, then a hundred,
then another thousand, then a second hundred,
then a whole other thousand, then a hundred,
then, when we have made many thousands of kisses
we shall throw them into confusion,
so that not even we know their number,
or so that no evil soul can envy us,
when he knows how many kisses we've made.