A tail of a couple (possibly) squirrels (436 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0 on 6 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <Mynameisdavid.at.babiestastegood.com> (View user info) at 2003-08-30 18:06:25 EDT
The squirrels around my house are merry and really dumb, as any typical squirrels are. But around my house they tend to lean toward the crazy suicidal kamikaze type. One time I was packing up the SUV with my brother's crap because he was heading of to college. It was a lovely day out, not a cloud in the sky. All the sudden out of the corner of my eye I see this gray thing fall out of a tree and into a black bucket. Now I know what you are all thinking... don't go near it for it could be a death bomb sent by the Iraqis. But my inquisitive nature led me to investigate. Now this bucket wasn't anywhere near me. It was a good 50 feet into the woods. Slowly I walked through the woods a good 20 paces before I noticed a grey (or is it gray?) bushy tail hanging out and over the edge of the bucket. The amount of scenarios running through my mind at that moment numbered three. It could be 1) That bomb thingy but it had a bushy tail in order to not raise suspicion. 2) A squirrel that fell off the tree that has really good aim to land head first into a bucket. 3) Some third thing. I then said to myself, David your no pussy, go for it... look inside. My head hovered over the bucket when I saw quite possibly the cutest most disturbing and sad image ever. It was a baby squirrel! A really cute looking one too...well lets face it all squirrels fucken rock. Well I was just staring at it for 5 minutes wondering what I should do. Should I call the vet? Bury it? All I knew was that I must do something. I must be a help. I need to be a hero. Just then the tail started to move and the squirrel jumped out and scurried away. It probably had a concussion... silly squirrel... (btw my habitual response to anyone saying silly (insert something here) is tricks are for kids). Well that's the end to my first squirrel story. I have like 3 more, maybe 4. But this is my first post and well I don't want to look like a complete jerk so if it doesn't get completely butchered up I suppose ill write again...
p.s. I like squirrels they are fluffy...
User Reviews
Submitted by virgil (user info) at 2003-08-30 20:35:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I've seen much less funny retards.
And I liked the bushy iraq death bomb idea. If any of Bush's speechwriters are listening (get it? Bushy, bush? nevermind.) you'll see it in his next speech.
Submitted by Natophelia (user info) at 2003-08-30 20:32:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Retards are fun. Pointless goofiness is good.
Submitted by Nator (user info) at 2003-08-30 18:53:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You are a retard.
Submitted by Mynameisdavid (user info) at 2003-08-30 18:43:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
For too long iraq has been a thorn in my side... first they killed my dog.. and now i get a minus 2.... when will it end.... when will the madness end
Submitted by prezuiwf (user info) at 2003-08-30 18:37:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
-2 because I'm sick of hearing the word "Iraq."
God help you if you say "Osama bin Laden."
Submitted by Beer_bong (user info) at 2003-08-30 18:35:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Pretty good.