A Great Idea. (862 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: -0.29 on 54 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Fritolay <thefritolay.at.burntmail.com> (View user info) at 2003-09-01 13:59:12 EDT
When a cat is dropped, it always lands on its feet. And when toast is dropped, it always lands with the buttered side facing down. I propose to strap buttered toast to the back of a cat; the two will hover, spinning inches above the ground. With a giant buttered cat array, a high-speed monorail could easily link New York with Chicago.
User Reviews
Submitted by Random Joe at 2003-10-20 13:36:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hysterical
Submitted by MickGinny (user info) at 2003-09-08 05:46:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
OH YEA! go with that idea.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2003-09-07 23:17:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2003-09-07 23:06:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
*shrug* you're trying to act like it didnt bother you now because you know how stupid it makes you look.
But there will always be this, among other things, to show how much the words of a stranger mean to your sense of well being
Submitted by Fritolay (user info) at 2003-09-01 14:41:00 (#)
Ranking: 2
Fricking shit.
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Submitted by Fritolay (user info) at 2003-09-01 14:40:34 (#)
Ranking: 2
I didn't say it's mine dumbass, I got it via e-mail. I didn't even know the damn URL
Its okay you're a plagiarizing bitch though. I'll still read your stuff. Even though it is cut and pasted, and my pointing out your thievery only serves to draw vitriol from you.
Sad when you get punished for doing a good deed these days...
Oh well. Thief!
Submitted by SoCalCasinova (user info) at 2003-09-07 08:40:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hmmmm..... interesting theory. If it worked then we would have a new source of power.
Submitted by Fritolay (user info) at 2003-09-07 08:23:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"*hides and watches*"
HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA! Holy shit.
Submitted by Fritolay (user info) at 2003-09-07 08:22:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah, you "absolutely know this is annoying me", huh? It really is. Seriously. That's why you keep coming back to my post to reply right? And then post three, four, five times to make your point. Good job. I will do the same from now on, just so that you can relate to a superior person (that being, me) in a more facile manner.
I love you, Zoidberg. I really do. Don't be upset, baby.
Don't cry yourself to sleep tonight.
Submitted by Fritolay (user info) at 2003-09-07 08:19:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Goddamn I love you, Zoidy! Thanks for the hits. You are the best. No seriously, I love your lack of logic, your ability to pull assumptions out of thin air, and your hypocrisy and complete ignorance when you call ME a 'plagiarist'. Honestly, you are the best. I love you, Zoidy baby! Thanks for showing me you care, by the way. Keep coming back and replying.
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2003-09-05 18:03:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Hehe this is great because I absolutely know this is annoying you.
Unless your last post was the writing of a calm and cool and rational man?
Plagiarizing bitch *hides and watches*
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2003-09-05 17:58:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Happily :) It must piss you off else you coulda just said "I get more hits"
As to why I do it? *shrug* Beats tennis. You're pretty simple anyway
*breathlessly awaits your reply*
Oh yeah, I noticed you didnt quite get the paragraph breaks in, and you had to post twice. A little frustrated and in a hurry to write something?
Calm down my son
Submitted by Fritolay (user info) at 2003-09-05 07:15:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Naw obviously it pisses you off very much, else you wouldn't be spending so much time about this.
Replying to everything I wrote.
Calling me names.
Insisting that you don't care.
Speaking personally, I just like making people get angry at the internet. Its an odd hobby, but its funny to me to see people get upset at words on a computer screen.
I have succeeded. Hail me and call me your master, bitch! "
Yes, hail to you, Zoidberg! Too bad YOU keep coming back to MY post to make replies to everything I wrote. Yeah, I'm really angry - what a great image for you right? I guess we all see what we want to believe! Too bad you don't have enough of a life to get a proper fucking hobby and spend it pretending you are making people you don't know angry. No, really, good job. I am really pissed off, which is why I came back to YOUR post and kept replying again and again in a feeble attempt to defend myself and make myself feel like I have a life by imagining someone clutching their fists in rage at my inane retorts. No wait, that wasn't me; who could I be talking about? Oh right, you.
Go ahead, imagine that I'm angry with you, filled with rage, spouting at the mouth - hey, if that makes your day, be my guest. After all, I'm not the one with the lack of a life, you are! Feel free to indulge in pretending I'm really pissed.
So if I'm not pissed off, why did I just reply AGAIN to your shit? Simple: I get more hits! Thanks for kissing my ass, by the way. Keep paying this post more and more visits. Right now each one of your replies is worth a couple of hits more to me - bear that in mind when you reply next. I love ya, Zoidberg, no, I really do. You are the best. Kisses, sweetheart. Mmm-waa. Smooch smooch. Let's make love tonight.
Does that fill the void you seek to replenish by replying to my post and "making me angry"? Feel better now? Go ahead - post again, you know it just means more hits to me!
Submitted by Fritolay (user info) at 2003-09-05 07:15:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Naw obviously it pisses you off very much, else you wouldn't be spending so much time about this.
Replying to everything I wrote.
Calling me names.
Insisting that you don't care.
Speaking personally, I just like making people get angry at the internet. Its an odd hobby, but its funny to me to see people get upset at words on a computer screen.
I have succeeded. Hail me and call me your master, bitch! "
Yes, hail to you, Zoidberg! Too bad YOU keep coming back to MY post to make replies to everything I wrote. Yeah, I'm really angry - what a great image for you right? I guess we all see what we want to believe! Too bad you don't have enough of a life to get a proper fucking hobby and spend it pretending you are making people you don't know angry. No, really, good job. I am really pissed off, which is why I came back to YOUR post and kept replying again and again in a feeble attempt to defend myself and make myself feel like I have a life by imagining someone clutching their fists in rage at my inane retorts. No wait, that wasn't me; who could I be talking about? Oh right, you.
Go ahead, imagine that I'm angry with you, filled with rage, spouting
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2003-09-04 16:47:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
And because I like the image of your little brow furrowing with rage
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2003-09-04 16:47:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
And just because you don't have any proof
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2003-09-04 16:46:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Naw obviously it pisses you off very much, else you wouldn't be spending so much time about this.
Replying to everything I wrote.
Calling me names.
Insisting that you don't care.
Speaking personally, I just like making people get angry at the internet. Its an odd hobby, but its funny to me to see people get upset at words on a computer screen.
I have succeeded. Hail me and call me your master, bitch!
Submitted by momanlad (user info) at 2003-09-03 14:15:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
i thought this post was brilliant. i am still giggling at this. hahaha
Submitted by guylemme <guylemme.at.msm.com> at 2003-09-03 06:05:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
If you strap a plastic bag over your head with a cat in it and tie it shut, you won't suffocate, I promise.....plagarizing asshole. Butter that toast bitch.
Submitted by KingHFB (user info) at 2003-09-03 06:01:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
that is the single greatest statement ever. i laughed out loud and ignored the other replies. cheers for that
-HFB
Submitted by Fritolay (user info) at 2003-09-03 05:55:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Incidentally, no one was praising my "originality", they were praising the piece itself. I guess research is too much trouble for you. Damn this hypocritical shit that keeps popping back up again and again.
P.S. If you don't want to believe those articles were mine, feel free too. Would you like to see a picture of my passport with my name highlighted for proof? Too bad I don't care that much about your crybaby opinion.
Submitted by Fritolay (user info) at 2003-09-03 05:53:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
So, if the post is clever, it needs to be criticized? Fuck it, logic doesn't fly with you. I have bigger personal problems than plagiarism because I'm affected? Did I just make a five-para long attempt to defend myself? Hmm, I guess we all see what we believe, don't we? Hypocritical plagiarist.
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2003-09-02 16:51:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Now I'm awake and the lawyer in me is functioning more.
My little faux pas was meant to be annoying and stupid. If an english student turns in a term paper consisting of "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy" over and over and over, no one expects a bibliography. The same if he submits a dumb joke or something.
Whereas if someone submits a clever piece (as this is), that garners praise, then yes, I should say a citation is in order.
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2003-09-02 13:28:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
and actually hair, I usually post first to ubersite, then like what I write so move it to my blurty to keep it
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2003-09-02 13:24:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
my bad, forgot to add this on general principles
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2003-09-02 13:24:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
actually they aren't different user names, its posted to different communities.
But then I guess actually bothering to do a little research would be too much effort huh?
see?
http://www.blurty.com/users/shogunofharlem/
Now lets see you prove the validity of your work
As to the clown thing, it was a purposeful joke post. I wasnt seeking approbation, I was seeking to aggravate and annoy (and do you think I'd really type with such poor grammar? I'm hurt)
As I stated immediately after, I just wanted to waste people's time. I don't expect people that post jokes to paste a URL
Your post however, was clever. People read it, gave you 2's, thought it was a piece of original thinking. There is a rather big difference between a post intended to garner approval and one intended to annoy.
At least, you had plenty of chances to correct people when they were praising you for your "originality". I saw no approbations that needed correcting on my post.
So there, I proved the originality of my work. Going through your work and looking at your "style" is not a good proof, as you could easily have stolen EVERYTHING and not have a style all your own.
But more importantly, don't you think you should take a step back and think about why words from a stranger over the internet upset you so much? I think you might have bigger personal problems then plagiarism...
Oh well, I can happily go about my day knowing I pissed someone off without ever even talking to them. Bully for me, sad for them
Submitted by tartpumper (user info) at 2003-09-02 09:34:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
cunt face pie fucking turnip head freak bitch anal examiner gay lord bitch nigger with gay shoes on.
I have heard that before..........loads of times
Submitted by Fritolay (user info) at 2003-09-02 09:29:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hair, that's because it's not his own work. If the 'blurty' shit is his own work, how come the different posts are posted under different usernames? Anyway, that last post of his that I've linked is not even from blurty.com, it's from some joke site, which he tried to pass off as his own. And then, yeah, he criticized me for posting this without due credit. Hypocritical duf.
Submitted by Hairsphincter (user info) at 2003-09-02 07:11:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Frito - why is it bad to cut and paste your own work? (As Zoid has done)
Submitted by Illicit_Joe (user info) at 2003-09-02 06:20:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
REally? I seem to make asshole replies to everyone.
Submitted by Fritolay (user info) at 2003-09-02 05:52:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Illicit Joe is the best.
Joe, I see you've rated a lot of my posts with similar interesting comments. You might want to see a psych about your Fritolay obsession.
Submitted by Illicit_Joe (user info) at 2003-09-01 18:05:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Fuck off frito
Submitted by shadowdragon (user info) at 2003-09-01 18:00:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
well yeah, you shouldve said it wasnt ur idea, but its still good
Submitted by Speric (user info) at 2003-09-01 17:34:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Yea, I used a more detailed version of this as a quote in my High School, senior ad.
I did this with 3 friends to reduce costs, while other people spent 500 dollars (for color, ours was black and white, and a third of a page) to have a bible quote and a baby picture.
Submitted by Semi_Random_Joe (user info) at 2003-09-01 15:40:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey, everything gets on Google eventually. I found some shit old sites of mine on Google by accident and I was, like, "holy shit" does that still exist and went to delete them.
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2003-09-01 15:35:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Well if he is Des Smith he's got skill, cuz his stories are great.
Really, really shocked me to see my blurty up there though
Submitted by Semi_Random_Joe (user info) at 2003-09-01 15:33:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I fucking hate plagiarists!!!!!!! Ad leones!!
I hate the disappointment of thinking "hmm, damn funny post" and then finding out the dickhead's writing skills don't go beyond copy-and-paste. Arsehole!
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2003-09-01 15:28:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Whoa
Didnt think my blurty would turn up on a google
Submitted by Fritolay (user info) at 2003-09-01 15:16:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey, speaking of original posts - how original is this highly-rated piece of yours?http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=1057577286537014207
I found it here - http://www.blurty.com/users/gayboys/
And this? http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=105937809196912144
I found it here - http://www.blurty.com/users/shogunofharlem/
And this? http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=1058089928334532052
I found it here - http://ca.geocities.com/groda_lotsapot/clown1.html
Hmm I don't see any "I got this in an e-mail forward" posted, your very fucking recommendation to me.
And...
No, you know what, I think we all get the idea.
Plagiarist, hypocrite, liar and cad.
Submitted by Fritolay (user info) at 2003-09-01 15:04:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Incidentally, Zoidberg, I'd have to say I don't like your attitude. I'd appreciate it if you'd cut down on the random accusations a little and hold your horses until you get to view all the facts. It's flat out annoying.
Submitted by Fritolay (user info) at 2003-09-01 15:01:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm glad you like the site. It's well put together.
Submitted by Fritolay (user info) at 2003-09-01 15:01:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Er, hey, Zoidy, I get your point about mentioning that I got this one in an e-mail forward.
But for the Lesbian post, and several others... they were by me, as were the ones on TWC you posted. I'M Des Smith, and you can see some other submissions of mine on my TWC column (no longer updated) at http://www.topwritecorner.com/fractal/028.htm and scrolling through the list of articles. If you don't believe me, just run through some of my posts and check up on the general style of writing.
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2003-09-01 14:58:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Well I like the website you've been stealing your material from, so thanks for turning me on to that
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2003-09-01 14:53:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I started going through your work at random, and oh my! other stuff plagiarized, and passed off as being yours
Lets just throw another into the mix
http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=1058378103247114577
WOW. I thought that was a clever story. But look what google turns up! Websites, with the story. This one for instance
http://www.topwritecorner.com/fractal/026.htm
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2003-09-01 14:51:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Yup. did you say anywhere that it wasn't yours? looks entirely like original work.
next time say "I got this in an e-mail" or better yet, be original and write something of your own
Submitted by Fritolay (user info) at 2003-09-01 14:41:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fricking shit.
Submitted by Fritolay (user info) at 2003-09-01 14:40:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I didn't say it's mine dumbass, I got it via e-mail. I didn't even know the damn URL.
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2003-09-01 14:39:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
just because I hate plagiarizing bitches
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2003-09-01 14:39:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
http://www.flippyscatpage.com/butteredcat.html
or if you just want to go straight to the contest you stole it from
http://www.icw-net.com/howto/funstuff/cattoast.htm
get some original material you stupid bitch
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2003-09-01 14:37:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Wow. Way to steal others material. Ass
Submitted by Blitzen (user info) at 2003-09-01 14:37:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
superb
Submitted by SoHipItHurts (user info) at 2003-09-01 14:25:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow.
Submitted by atz (user info) at 2003-09-01 14:17:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
...Or, put butter on both sides of a piece of toast.
Submitted by atz (user info) at 2003-09-01 14:16:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Funny. I never actually heard that the buttered side of toast will always land face-down. Here's a slightly different method: Strap two cats together, back-to-back.
Submitted by Snipa (user info) at 2003-09-01 14:09:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
yay!
Submitted by Cicciro (user info) at 2003-09-01 14:02:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Wow... a short post that made me laugh!