poo poo platter (1477 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -1.76 on 17 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Josh B <providerofmusic.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2003-09-10 23:07:08 EDT
Solution for people with weight problems: Instead of being anerexic you could just take a shit.
So I was in line at the market getting some food trying not to kill everyone. While I was standing in line I was eyeing the tabloids and heard this noise coming from behind me. It's turns out it wasn't screeching death guns, it was some juggernaut trying to communicate to me about the tabloids and they are soooooo hilarious. The tabloids are not cute, funny or anything that could be construed as comical. I said, "No cute talk on the fake papers okay?" I just wanted to be on my way.
So this prick then trying to recover his own self worth started needling me again this time on the subject of being overweight, and how he struggled with his problem. Now if you haven't figured out that the secret to loosing weight it is eating Grapnuts with chopsticks and water only, then your an asshole.
But for some people that still doesn't work. So I took the liberty of thinking for this Jeb and he kept going on and on about different things that he failed at (all the time smiling like it's better then porn). So I talked him away from the ledge, and told him this: instead of giving up your precious gourmet shit that your call "food" at Mcdonalds I am giving you this solution.
Dump it out like a worthless baby. No ass, not in your pants, take as many laxatives as you can almost killing yourself and shit out all that food. So this way you can eat as much as you want. That's all you will be reduced to in your geriatric years anyway so just do it. It may come at awkward moments like when your spoon feeding comatose unfortunates or jacking off so the solution for that is take the laxatives with your food so you just shit it right out. SHIT IT AND FORGET IT!
Chameleon like sporadic turds floundering from your bowels in to the bowls of the hungry toilet...
User Reviews
Submitted by tsuki (user info) at 2003-09-11 17:23:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
it appears that you have "spelt" grape-nuts wrong.
http://164.109.16.145/100/innovations/grapenuts.html
Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2003-09-11 11:58:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Eat feces, contract Baylisascaris, and go see a doctor. When he asks you what happened, tell him you ate shit from a diseased racoon.
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2003-09-11 11:17:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
So many things that make so little sense... especially when they're put together. Do you have ADHD?
Submitted by Prosthetic_Forehead (user info) at 2003-09-11 11:03:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
fuck off
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2003-09-11 08:35:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
sucker
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2003-09-11 08:34:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Only messing.
Cock.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2003-09-11 08:34:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Come on lads, that was one of the funniest posts I have read for ages.
Submitted by seanfogy (user info) at 2003-09-11 08:19:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Oooooooh! I wanna -2 him too!
fuck you, you suck, die, get killed, eat shit
Submitted by Hadooken (user info) at 2003-09-11 05:02:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
a haiku, just for you
your logic is wrong
cough up a vital organ
have a minus two
Submitted by DooZa (user info) at 2003-09-11 01:27:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Fuckwit.
Submitted by ubernewbie (user info) at 2003-09-11 00:59:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You
Submitted by ubernewbie (user info) at 2003-09-11 00:59:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
suck
Submitted by ubernewbie (user info) at 2003-09-11 00:58:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
cock.
Submitted by chipolatte (user info) at 2003-09-11 00:55:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
what?
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2003-09-11 00:24:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
go to hell.
Submitted by Cicciro (user info) at 2003-09-10 23:29:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
The better you write, the better the post.
Although taking a shit can cause temporary weight loss, as can urination, and even dispelling bodily gasses and other excretions/secretions, it will not be permenant. This is where your logic failed.
So you lose for bad writing and flawed logic.
Submitted by Party03 (user info) at 2003-09-10 23:21:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You are such a fucking moron.