What a mess (292 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.11 on 10 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <Friendly_fool_to_you.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2003-09-15 12:56:15 EDT
One of my biggest pet peeves is jealousy. I've been in relationships where my boyfriend can't even seem to handle it when I'm out with a group of friends if there are guys and girls. To me this is totally pointless, and I really don't have patience for the shit they expect me to put up with. So they eventually end up not with me and I move on to someone new.
One of my best but worst relationships was with this one guy, Matt, who was my best friend as well as my boyfriend. The one problem was his jealousy. He really didn't like it when I hung out with other guys if he wasn't around as well. Over time this got better and we worked it out so that I could chill with whoever I wanted, without him being jealous. So when things ended after two years, we stayed friends. It all worked out really well since we are better as friends then as anything else.
This all happened over a year ago. We were still friends when he had other girlfriends and I dated other people, didn't really matter to either of us. Then recently he started dating this girl, Jess, who is a common friend between us. Since I know them both pretty well, I thought that this would be a perfect match, since they both are the type of people who puts their significant other on a pedestal and do anything and everything for them. ( And that was not me at all. I'm a very independent person and my boyfriend is not my number one priority at this point in my life. I personally think focusing on school is more important.) So when they told me about this all I have ever felt is happy that they found each other.
The other day Jess came online and I was all happy and such since I haven't talked to her since a party in the summer. And the response I got from her when I asked how things were going was, "why did you want to spend your last day here b4 you went to school, with my b/f instead of your own??"
To this I was in shock. To explain this situation, I called him up the day before I left to go to university. Since I was leaving I knew that I wouldn't see him until summer next year. So I wanted to say goodbye. So I tried to explain that to her and she pretty much asked why I didn't ask for her when I called his house. At this point I'm just thinking what kind of person is this. Who would expect me to ask for them when I'm calling someone else's house? So she explained to me that when ever Matt isn't at work he is with her. Like this is common knowledge.
Well the conversation ended on a bad note to say the least. Since friends are really important to me and I really don't like a friendship getting messed up for no reason other than jealousy. I wanted to straighten all this out. So with that I sent her a really nice email, explaining my side of things and wanted to know what I did to hurt them or what not. Because I this point I was so confused, she even changed her screen name to "find your own man". So it seemed she thought that I wanted him back. This being so frustrating since I don't even find him attractive any more. He has changed completely since I dated him over a year ago now, he seems to be trying out the thug look. Adding the lights and such to his car, and changing his style of clothes and all that stuff. He wasn't at all the same person that I dated.
So back to the topic, The email I got back from Jess from one of the most bullshit emails I have ever gotten. She exaggerated on things, she put in stuff that never even happened. And about the events that did occur she put them in a totally different context then they were. And example of this is "But when I got there and you ran to him and hung off him and took his hand and dragged him downstairs, I wasn't impressed"
Now this running and hanging off him. They got there, I went and gave them both a hug and grabbed Matt's arm to bring him down to the party, where his best friend who he hadn't seen in a year was waiting. I even told him this as I dragged him down, I was saying something like I can't wait till you see who is here. It's a surprise!! Type thing is what I said. It was awesome the looks on their faces when they saw each other one of the best parts in the night. But in her explanation, I took him and wouldn't leave him alone.
This is defiantly a rant since I'm so fed up with their bull shit when all I want is how it always was, I know things change and all that but. I don't understand how you can go from knowing someone is so happy about something, to accusing them of wanting to steal your boyfriend and causing problems in their relationship, that was also from the email.
I don't really know why I wanted to write this up here, But It does make me feel better writing it out. I don't really care what happens with this relationship right now, because It seems that nothing can fix it until maybe they break up. But I do hope to talk to Matt at some point with out Jess, just to know that yes he feels the same way, since he never seemed to have any problems before. I don't understand how someone can let jealousy ruin a friendship. When there never was problem in the first place.
So that's it. My mess of a story that doesn't really have a point or an ending but that's really just how life is sometimes.
Noodles
User Reviews
Submitted by Gillespie (user info) at 2003-09-15 14:50:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I was going to write something meaningful, but your post has napalmed my thought process...
-J
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2003-09-15 13:49:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You're welcome!
I didn't mean to sound so rude!
Or use so many exclamations!
I felt compelled!
Submitted by Noodles (user info) at 2003-09-15 13:41:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What I have pretty much decided I'm going to do is just forget about it. Friendships are important to me and all, but I don't need people thinking I'm going to try to wreck a relationship. I've got better things to do with my time. Your comments made me laugh at the stupidity of the whole situation. Thanks!
Submitted by reallybored (user info) at 2003-09-15 13:38:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Wow,i must be reading this differently from everybody else, but personally i think he probably made some comment about you to his new girl and she went psycho. If i were you, i would just stay away from them both. Its only going to be more drama and bullshit.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2003-09-15 13:36:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I would not be 13 again for the world.
Submitted by itchy (user info) at 2003-09-15 13:31:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Well . . . its all about you . . . isn't it? Was there more to this story than, "I should be able to do whatever I want to anybody I want?" If so, I missed it. Let me see . . . .
1) If a guy has a problem with me doing whatever I want, he's gone. Check.
2) There was this one guy who had a problem with the above. He's gone. Check.
3) But I still want to hang out with him whenever I want. Check.
* note: sure, you and he are "friends". He was insanely jealous while you were together, so obviously when you dumped him, his feelings went away.
4) He found a girlfriend who actually gives a shit about him. Check.
5) She knows that you two have a history and that this guy is probably still hung up on you for reasons I cannot fathom. Check.
6) But, she, somehow doesn't think that rule 3) applies to her, crazy bitch. Check.
My two cents? Have the decency to cut the ties. Let them get on with their own lives and stop complicating it. I don't think that will happen though. Know why? I think you know this guy still likes you and you get a big ego-boost from it. I think that is why you wrote this whole post.
Maybe I'm way out of line, but that is how I'm reading this.
Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2003-09-15 13:27:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"Then recently he started dating this girl, Jess, who is a common friend between us. Since I know them both pretty well, I thought that this would be a perfect match..."
I thought at this point we were gonna get a story about a threesome.
all well.
Submitted by MickGinny (user info) at 2003-09-15 13:24:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
damn i could not read this!
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2003-09-15 13:13:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
FUCK this hurt my:
eyes
brain
ears
nose
throat
achew!
Bomb are exploding
people are dying
not enough food in a lot of places
you are hanging out with another's "b-f",
having a mini-cat fight over it
and posting *humorous* anecdotes on the internet.
Thanks for reminding me about what is really important!
Submitted by Bellebrown (user info) at 2003-09-15 13:09:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hmmm... this girl is insecure and she is probably more scared and jealous of you than anything else.
Tell her shes an idiot if she thinks that you'd pick a guy over a friend and if she can't see that, and would rather go for the guy instead of a friend then so be it.
I used to be just like you - I wouldnt let anything get in the way of a friendship and would apologise for things I didnt even think Id done. Then I realised that its not the guy that gets in the way its the friend that you're trying to stay matey with.
So, leave her to it, send her a nice mail saying she's being daft and then see what she does... and Id be especially interested to see what she does when her new thug boyfriend goes off with someone else or they split up in general.