ATTN : manly menz of uber, help! (1312 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.67 on 39 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by collin <rtfm.at.airmail.net> (View user info) at 2003-09-18 11:51:05 EDT
now that i've got your attention, i need alittle help/advice/support from the manly menz of uber.
this weekend i'm quitting smoking (along with my roommie and two other friends), cutting back on the drinking even more, and i plan to start working out.
my problem is that i have know idea what i'm doing in a gym or fitness center (my apts has a really nice fitness room). the reasons i want to start working out are two-fold: to become more healthy, and to regain some of the strength i've lost since i stopped doinsg physical work and started sitting on my ass at a desk 40 hours a week. i don't necessarily want to get all buffed out, just to be a little healthier over all.
and with that in mind also consider that i'm a 29yr old male who has been smoking for essentially all of the last 13 years (not including the times i have quit before) with bad knees and ankles from 13 years of skateboarding (which means running is out of the question, at least for now. i've been walking to the train station, maybe a quarter mile, instead of driving for the last month or so and my knees and ankles do feel stronger).
so, what kind of excercises and whatever should i do?
User Reviews
Submitted by Can_Always_Trust_A_Liar (user info) at 2003-09-18 20:41:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
-2 for saying "roommie"
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2003-09-18 19:11:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I like doing crunches, as my stomach is the part of me that probably needs the most working out. I try to do 125 a day. Crunches are a good hurt.
Submitted by itchy (user info) at 2003-09-18 18:38:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
As a completely non-interesting side note: Hey Collin/El Guapo, I named my first-born son after you. Excellent name. Both of them (but I stuck with just plain Collin for the boy).
Submitted by chicagogirl (user info) at 2003-09-18 18:33:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Collin is going to do yoga?
Submitted by Yes at 2003-09-18 16:59:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
GOOD FOR YOU!
um, i suggest anal sex and normal sex... and lots of mastubation... and swimming, swimming is great for you and its like zero fucking impact, so thats cool... um, yeah.
Submitted by reallybored (user info) at 2003-09-18 16:53:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"Get a personal trainer or go with a friend who knows what they're doing.
I go 5 days a week and see a personal trainer 2 of those days. In less than a year I have gained 20lbs of muscle mass, my cardio fitness is superb and I look at unhealthy food and alcohol as a very occasional thing to do. "
Have fun gaining some else. Its called debt from spending money on a personal trainer. Unless you know some insider secert, personal trainers are fucking expensive. And not being able to see your dick in the morning should be enough motivation to go to the gym.
"When you get in shape, your body won't crave the bad things anymore, and when Friday night rolls around and I'm not sitting in a bar drinking myself to death I feel great about who I am and what I'm doing."
Yeah, but just think of the fun youd be having if you were in great shape and drank yourself to death. It works for me!
"And most importantly, when you're in great shape, you can literally go all night and then some!"
I think your mixing up having sex when your in great shape with having sex when your drunk.
Submitted by lucid (user info) at 2003-09-18 16:04:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Running is great excercise but I found that my knees and ankles weren't up to the punishment of the pavement. If you do start running, buy great shoes and stick to running in a park or track on the dirt.
You can run on a treadmill, but 15 miles on a treadmill equates to about 5 miles in the real world (at least it feels this way to me which could just be because it's less punishing).
I really injured one of my feet, tearing a tendon, from running on concrete playing basketball. It's been 8 months since the injury and it still bothers me a great deal. When I play ball now I have to take alot of anti-inflammatories just to be able to make it through 4-5 games and that's terrible on the kidneys.
So pay particular attention to having the right equipment and the right form when you excercise. There is nothing worse than being in the middle of a great workout or game and hurting something to the point you can't be active for several weeks.
Submitted by El_Guapo (user info) at 2003-09-18 15:30:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
""And most importantly, when you're in great shape, you can literally go all night and then some!""
i can still do that as a drunken, smoking, out of shape lump.....so does that mean i could go for like 24 hours straight?
that would be so cool
Submitted by Manfre (user info) at 2003-09-18 15:25:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Do pec exercises. They give you real man boobs of muscle.
Do curls.
Do shoulder shrugs.
Pull downs.
Pull ups.
Huggies.
Just watch what all the guys that are manlier than you do at the gym. If you need help then ask one of them and remember to always pat them on the ass after theyre done showing you.
Submitted by IndianOcean (user info) at 2003-09-18 15:23:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
start running.. RUnning is very very good
Submitted by lucid (user info) at 2003-09-18 14:57:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I have advice for you about the gym.
Do not go to the gym and waste your time. You'll get bored, burned out and will slip into your old habits.
Get a personal trainer or go with a friend who knows what they're doing.
If your workout is challenging, you'll enjoy it and your body will reward you, but if you just go there and sit on a bicycle for a little while and maybe do a couple bicep curls you'll be wasting your time.
I go 5 days a week and see a personal trainer 2 of those days. In less than a year I have gained 20lbs of muscle mass, my cardio fitness is superb and I look at unhealthy food and alcohol as a very occasional thing to do. My goal has never been to gain muscle and get big and thanks to genetics I have little to worry about in that department, but what happened to my body is really cool. Every inch of my body is rock hard, and I feel amazing 90% of the time as opposed to being depressed and lumping around in a half drunken haze.
When you get in shape, your body won't crave the bad things anymore, and when Friday night rolls around and I'm not sitting in a bar drinking myself to death I feel great about who I am and what I'm doing.
And most importantly, when you're in great shape, you can literally go all night and then some!
Submitted by Bertine (user info) at 2003-09-18 14:54:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey Collin,
someone mentioned yoga below and that is a good way to develope strength and flexiablity in your whole body. To bulk up your lower body streght training is really the only way to go but you might be like my brother (6 feet and 140 pounds) and just won't be able to build up your muscles. I would say just try to keep your upper and lower bodies even. swimming is a great excersize and so is biking.
about the diet pop thing someone talked about below. that is what i do, when i am feeling pudgy i stop drinking regular soda and i lose some weight. too bad i always go back to it.
oh, collin, when you stop smoking you will gain some weight, don't let that discourage you. :)
Submitted by reallybored (user info) at 2003-09-18 14:44:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"<chuckle> no offense"
None taken.
"but i'd like to fill out my legs a little though if anyone knows some good strength/muscle building excercises i could do that aren't heavy impact "
As already said, squats are the way to go. Calf-raises are also money. Legs seem to me to be pretty easy to get big. Maybe its just a mental thing?...
"drink a weight loss shake because they taste good "
And because it reminds you of cum? Sorry Murphy, i had to say that after i read the fucking guys comment.
"There are some protein powders that don't taste like shit. I make a shake when I get back from the gym of chocolate soy milk, chocolate protein powder, and raspberries"
If you dont like shakes (i hated them when i was bulking up) try eating tuna fish everyday. A can has something like 24 grams of protein in it. Thats quite alot for such a small amount of food.
Hope it helps.
Submitted by Duke_Prometheus_III (user info) at 2003-09-18 14:18:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Get a rowing machine. If anyone can beat my PB of 6.40 over 2km then I will personally mail them a beer. Where ever they are. I need photographic evidence of course. yeah.
Submitted by bailey <baeilycwru.at.yahoo.com> at 2003-09-18 13:48:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Doing atkins is not about cutting carbs, only reducing them. Its a step by step process
First 2 weeks, 20 carbs a day, then every week after that add 5 carbs a day for that week--week 3 25 carbs a dar, week 4 30...Until you stop losing weight, or get to the weight you want
Submitted by El_Guapo (user info) at 2003-09-18 13:48:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
""Submitted by itchy (user info) at 2003-09-18 13:33:25 (#)
Ranking: 1
Are Collin and El Guapo the same guy? Not that it matters. El Guapo - hate to say it but squats are the best exercise for bulking up your legs. Deadlifts are good for hamstrings. If you don't have access to a squat rack, you might try lunges as an alternative. Bad thing is, to get bigger you have to lift heavy. Lifting heavy with your legs will kick your ass all day long. Get ready for PAIN""
yep, we are both me. anyone know how i can fix that?
Submitted by glasscpp (user info) at 2003-09-18 13:44:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
El_Guapo
"1. i'm a skinny fucker (5'9" 135lbs), "
Damn I thought I was the only short guy around. I'm also 5'9", but my problem is the weight. I'm up to 195lbs, from 135lbs 6 years ago. Use to run 90 miles a week before I got back problems and this damn desk job (which is where all the weight came from). Anyways the adivce I can give you, since you have bad legs, swimming is the best way to get your cardio back. This will sound and look strange but it works, try running in the water. Go to a part where you cannot touch and just start running. Do this as much as you can for as long as you can. This will strengthen your legs and lungs. While in college going through physicall therapy, the doc's all stated that running in a pool will do all this for you. Man I gotta get back into that.
Good luck,
cheers,
glasscpp
Submitted by Natophelia (user info) at 2003-09-18 13:41:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hell yeah! Good luck to ya!!
I'm not a man, but...
I second or third or whatever upping the protein, however you choose to do it. You want muscles, you gotta have protein. There are some protein powders that don't taste like shit. I make a shake when I get back from the gym of chocolate soy milk, chocolate protein powder, and raspberries. You can alter it with plain milk, vanilla powder, and whatever fruit you want.
Definitely make sure you stretch properly and often. Having as much flexibility as strength is a good way to avoid injury, especially if you're on your way to arthritis (I have it in my left shoulder and I'm only 25 :( Stupid pain in the ass.). Stretching before the work out is a nice warm up, but stretching again after you're already warm will increase your flexibility faster.
Submitted by itchy (user info) at 2003-09-18 13:33:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Are Collin and El Guapo the same guy? Not that it matters. El Guapo - hate to say it but squats are the best exercise for bulking up your legs. Deadlifts are good for hamstrings. If you don't have access to a squat rack, you might try lunges as an alternative. Bad thing is, to get bigger you have to lift heavy. Lifting heavy with your legs will kick your ass all day long. Get ready for PAIN.
Submitted by Snipa (user info) at 2003-09-18 13:30:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Pull the trigger exercise
Submitted by Murphy1844 (user info) at 2003-09-18 13:24:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Well, I'm not sure if I fit your category of a manly menz, you know, seeing as that I fuck guys and all, but here's some tips (I've been working out a year):
1. The most important thing is to start slow and DO NOT GET DISCOURAGED. Aim for 3 times a week at the gym but every day if you can. Just walk for 30min. Nothing too hard... the idea here is just to get your ass to the gym. Do this for a month, and you WILL notice results. This will motivate you to keep going.
2. Eat several times a day and be sure to get something in your system FIRST THING IN THE MORNING. It starts your metabolism. I usually drink a weight loss shake because they taste good and have tons of vitamins. Lots of low carb snaks... fruits, veggies, yogurt, etc.
3. No beer (I still have a hard time with this one).
4. Once you start weight training, get yourself a trainer. They'll get you started in the right direction. Eat your body's weight (in grams) of protein immediately after shredding your muscles. Muscles tear when you lift weights and repair themselves when you rest. They use protein to repair... if you eat a ton of protein, you'll get a ton of muscle mass.
5. Good luck.
Murphy
Submitted by gr8_ceezers_gh0st (user info) at 2003-09-18 13:16:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
free-weights, sit-ups, swimming & yoga.
Submitted by Lisa (user info) at 2003-09-18 13:13:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
you're probably going to die soon anyways. don't bother.
Submitted by El_Guapo (user info) at 2003-09-18 12:58:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
awesome guys, thanks for the input so far!
just a couple of points for clarification though:
1. i'm a skinny fucker (5'9" 135lbs), so i guess a little bulking up is in order, but definitely not losing weight. i'm still about 15lbs under weight for my height/frame
2. the only fat that exists on my body is this insidious ring developing around my tunmmy and waist. i used to have a 6pack (ok, maybe more like a 4 pack, whatever...) and now there's this amorphous blob that is beginning to stick out past my belt (when i sit i've got low-grade dunlaps disease.....my belly dunlapped over my belt.....)
3. since historically i've always been fairly strong in upper body, i think that will be easier to regain, but i'd like to fill out my legs a little though if anyone knows some good strength/muscle building excercises i could do that aren't heavy impact (running literally hurts my knees and ankles after a while. i'm supposedly going to develop arthritis in less than 10 years, i think the doc actually said he wouldn't be surprised if i started showing signs of it by the time i'm 35. essentially what i did was annihilate the cartilage in my joints)
Submitted by Goldneyes (user info) at 2003-09-18 12:53:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yay for Collin!! congratulations on trying to quit and stuff!!
Submitted by itchy (user info) at 2003-09-18 12:52:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Congrats on quitting smoking and drinking. Drinking was a big one for me, so I've had good results by ditching all the empty calories I picked up there. I would agree whole-heartedly with everything Reallybored is telling you. I would add that, even as a 200+ lb, old-fart skater, I can still run. Running is probably the best aerobic exercise you can do, in my opinion. But in this case, it really IS all about the shoes. Cushioning is key. I recommend the Asics Gel Kayano for a bigger guy, but New Balance is good too. The worst thing about cardio exercise is that, more than anything else, you need to commit TIME to it. It takes a while to even get to the point where you are burning fat (approx 15 minutes) so I run (or use an "elipse" machine if my knees are bothering me) for 45 minutes.
Another handy gadget is a heart-rate monitor. I thought this was the dumbest investment ever when one of my cyclist friends bought one, but I tried one of his old ones and found that you really don't have to work that hard to be in a good zone to burn fat. This was a revolation.
I'm also doing Atkins which has been very effective for me. Losing fat and gaining muscle like a mother. I don't know about cycling it though, I would think that it would be okay so long as your "off" cycle, but you back on a lower fat diet, but high carb and high fat together don't work.
A good Mp3 player is also very important. Helps the time go more quickly.
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2003-09-18 12:46:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
reallybored: I got what you meant.
I was just shocked to read it.
<chuckle> no offense
Submitted by reallybored (user info) at 2003-09-18 12:41:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"Go on the atkins diet, you will drop fat and build muscle like crazy."
Problem with the atkins diet is you have to cycle it. Two weeks on, a week off. Throwing out all your carbs is a bad thing. The Atkins works, but its really hard. Plus, if you workout hard enough you can get away with actually with eating that stuff. Muscle burns calories even when its not working...
....about the "grad college" thing. I was in a rush. Im only perfect 99% of the time.
Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2003-09-18 12:40:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I would do a half hour of cardio and a half hour of anaerobic......but I am lazy. I normally do 20 minutes of whatever before I get bored.
I don't understand why my gym doesn't hire me as a personal trainer.
-Tom
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2003-09-18 12:20:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by reallybored (user info) at 2003-09-18 12:11:53 (#)
Ranking: 0
After i grad college...
___________________________________________________________
UM, what?!?
(Sorry, that was just very, very unexpected)
Submitted by bailey <baileycwru.at.yahoo.com> at 2003-09-18 12:15:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Go on the atkins diet, you will drop fat and build muscle like crazy. Since on the diet you flood you body with protien and fat, your body uses this to build muscle as you lift and do aerobic exercise. Since you are also in lipolosis (fat burning mode) you also get rid of the excess fat on you body. There are lots of sites that have good exercises for lifting here is one:
http://www.exrx.net/Lists/ExList/ChestWt.html
All you have to do is to start with some thing simple, like aerobic every day, and then
lift your upper body one day, your lower body the next...
Submitted by reallybored (user info) at 2003-09-18 12:11:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
After i grad college i realized i was a fat fuck from the combination of lazyness/beer/weed. Heres what i did to help lose 10 pounds and probably convert another 10 from fat to muscle.
Gym Tips:
Cardio everyday. I use to run or bike, but if your ankles are fucked up trying swimming. Swimming is the best form of exercise because it uses every major muscle group. Try swimming for 30 minutes everyday. Any cardio under 25 minutes is actually useless so try to stay above.
In the beginning use less weight and try to just concentrate on form. After awhile you will be able to move to from universal machines to free-weights which IMHO are better. If you just trying to stay trim and not bulk up, go for low weight high reps. Somewhere in the range of 13-15 reps a set. Do three sets for each exercise. As you get better, try to do two circuits (all the exercises twice). Make sure to rest for a solid minute to minute 1/2 between sets. Remember to drink plenty of water during your routine. Water is better then gatorade or other sports drinks when it comes to losing weight. Those drinks tend to replace more then what you need.
Food tips:
Try to eat many meals everyday instead of the basic three. Five is a good number to shoot for. Also try to lower your carb intake as carbs take longer to break down and can easily become fat. However it is important to have fat in your meals to help you feel full.And protein is a must for those that are working out. A good ratio is 40%carb 40% protein 20%fat. Try to get some fruit in your diet. I usually pick up an apple or nectarine for a mid-day snack at work. Dont drink soda unless its Diet. Soda really adds on the weight. I know people who lost ten pounds by just taking soda out of their diet. Dont forget a daily mutivitamin like centrum. Also plenty of sleep is necessary. 8 hours is good, but 9 is much better. More sleep gives your body time to repair its muscles after a hard workout. Most body-builders take atleast one nap a day. Stay away from
beer and liquor but a glass of red-wine a day is very good for you.
Remember, if your trying to lose weight aim for a pound a week. Anymore is unhealthy. Also remember that its not really weight that should be your determing factor, but how you look and feel.
Submitted by acrog (user info) at 2003-09-18 12:08:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
" is there anything i should try to eat more of that i will burn off?"
Grapefruit juice.
Your body burns more calories processing it than the juice actually puts in your body.
An aerobic exercise, go with the bike. It's fun and easy on you aging joints. (I'm with ya man, I turned 30 in May)
good luck
Submitted by PetruchioInLab <MinskyBa.at.hotmail.com> at 2003-09-18 12:00:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You're looking for areobic exercises.
Aerobic exercise is when your working out slow enough so that your body is able to supply enough oxygen for the reaction to burn fat.
Anarobic is when you're working faster than your oxygen transfer can keep up (you'll notice you're breathing heavily); this is when you (mainly) build muscle instead of burn fat.
(I'm remembering this from a class years ago, so I could be wrong)
Swimming is a great workout, and probably just right for you. Look for low-impact machines, the ski machines, or the ones that are bike-ish, this will be better for your joints than walking/running/etc.
As far as weight training... I have no idea...
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2003-09-18 11:59:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for caring about yourself.
Number one:
You're a stones throw from 30. See your doctor and have a complete physical. Yes, I said complete. All men know what that means.
Number two:
Start slowly and work your way up. It's a marathon, not a sprint. Lifting weights is a dish best served with patience.
Number three:
Don't get discouraged if you do not see immediate results. Refer to number two.
Good luck.
Submitted by El_Guapo (user info) at 2003-09-18 11:56:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
hmm, i may have to take up swimming for some cardio....also, what about diet? is there anything i should try to eat more of that i will burn off?
Submitted by ThePornoGuy (user info) at 2003-09-18 11:55:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Working out will change your life. Try Askmen.com for the answers of people more qualified than us lays... I think. http://www.askmen.com
Submitted by Mercutio (user info) at 2003-09-18 11:53:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Good god. Go lift weights to get your initial metabolism up. After that, continue to lift weights, but couple it with a half hour of biking a night. Biking will be easy on your knees and ankles. Or you could swim.
It's not rocket science.
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2003-09-18 11:53:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
i'm quitting smoking, cutting back on the drinking even more, and i plan to start working out.
hmm sounds a LOT like me!
I have never been a gymmer, or worker outer, so I could not advise you on that.
Personally, I love to swim, but I know that doesn't matter so:
Good LUCK!