The nature of the world as I sit in a computer lab on a cold, crappy Friday (1052 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.07 on 34 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Habeeb Thomas <cr3do2000.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2003-09-26 14:02:26 EDT
Ahhh, the world is a place. People are driving their cars, flying airplanes, drinking and eating things, and chatting online. Not me, however. I am left to sit here and contemplate things on this website that I have just found where others do the same. Normally, I would be chatting on MSN chat, but some skinny, freckle-faced jackass of a girl has stolen the only remaining computer that has access to MSN. OH, AND YOU KNOW WHAT SHE'S DOING???? CHATTING ON MSN. Damn her smiling ways and happy giggles, that could be me. Oh look at her now, talking on her fancy pants cell phone to her boyfriend, " Oh boyfriend, I love you so." Ahhhhh. Why did she have to be sitting there at this moment? It's because she wants to chat. Yeeeuuggrraaa. She is really pretty nasty. If her face wasn't so freckly and her arms so hairy, she might be able to pass as Calista Flockhart's niece. Why don't I just install MSN chat onto the computer I am on? Because as a student I am only given restricted privileges, and installing shit isn't one of them. Man....................look at her chatting, she's in like 5 rooms at once. That's not for me however. I take the "annoy and get booted" approach. God, Microsoft is gonna stop providing free chat service on Oct. 14th. That will be bad times. Yahoo Chat s a wasteland full of drunken inbreds and homie g. wiggers that can drive a man crazy. Oh well, maybe with MSN chat gone I'll be able to get more stuff done. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH go to class you witch, let me chat, damn you. That's another thing that I have been a ponderin' lately. College. What's the point? Four years of classes. Puh. Unless your a doctor or a mechanic or.... aww fuck it, I don't know anymore. Maybe college does have a use. I know when I get my valuable English Lit. Degree in May, it's either gonna hang in the crapper or be used as a coaster. But, like other things, I'll probably wuss out and hang it on some wall so all can see. Man, that guy is fat. Don't you hate it when fat people bump into you and for that second you share their immense fatness with them? Don't get me wrong, I could stand to lose about 50 lbs, but I mean like really fat people; people so fat they should have shit orbiting them. He just sat down. I bet he's tired. That damn girl ain't chatting no more, she's staring at the screen and nibbling on her finger. Maybe she'll leave soon. I could just move to another computer and hope it has MSN chat, but nah. What next.... GOD DAMN CHICAGO BEARS. I love the Chicago Bears; I even painted one of the rooms in my house their colors, but they need to suck less. On the 29th, they will be playing the Packers for the first time in the newly renovated STOP SMELLING YOUR GOD DAMN FINGER, AHHH I DON'T EVEN WANT TO THING ABOUT THAT. LEAVE SO I CAN CHAT, YOU POON WENCH. Anyway, the Bears and the Packers will be playing each other in Soldier Field for the first time in a long time. I hope that the Bears won't get their dangs handed to them like San Francisco did in the season opener. It's gonna be a Monday night game too, so the whole country can join in the fun of watching the Bears suck, but more likely they will simply not watch and watch "Becker" or "Friends" or whatever the fuck jerk asses watch these days. I like the "Simpsons", "Family Guy", "South Park", "Monster Garage", "Monster House", and "Junkyard Wars". Cartoons and buildin' shit, that's what I tune in for. And football and Boxing too. I have to go to Goddamn class soon. Elizabethan Female Subjects in Modern Renaissance Literature-English 360. It's twice and fun as it sounds, and only half as boring.... yeah. Then I can go home. Woo home. Goddamn car won't start; it's a 97 Taurus SHO with either a bad alternator or battery or both. I like the car, but I just know if I bring it in their gonna tell me it needs a new chassis or engine block or something, so I'm gonna try and meet the redneck requirement of having a broken down car sit in your driveway for two months, than do something. Cars break down, ugly chicks steal computers with entertaining chat programs installed them that will only be offered as a free service for a little while longer, favorite sports team is sucking.. Life can be hard sometimes. I imagine if I were a starving Etheropian I would be amazingly content with my life, but I am an overweight Illinoisan, and my name is not Habeeb Thomas. I'm just a bored, rambling mo-fo who wants just to chat; but some jerk took away my ability, and I somehow found this site where a bunch other people ramble too. Just another face in the crowd, that's all. How do we separate ourselves from the crowd? We must depend on the crowd for this. When they notice us, we notice ourselves, or so it seems. She knows I'm looking at her, because I'm staring right at her in disgust. Don't leave now sweetheart, I have class soon. Just stay where you are and let the puss drain from your zits and freckles. You'd think in college a body would no longer have freckles, but this creature proves me wrong. Now she has left; off to classes or to the cafeteria or work or home or too her boyfriends. That's what life is all about, you wait for the thing you really want, then it becomes available but by then its too late and you have other commitments and obligations that aren't really either but seem to be, and while you are waiting Herculean fat people breath on you and bump into you. The Terminator was right when he said in T-2, "It's in your nature to destroy yourselves." We're doomed man, just look around. Oh jolly, another chick has just sat down at the very computer I was thinking about possibly sitting down at; but she isn't half bad. Well, I have class to attend. Peace.
User Reviews
Submitted by HateMudkips (user info) at 2007-06-20 05:09:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm from the future. I'm +2ing the One Who Is Habeeb.
For the sake of generations yet to be born-
For the sake of truth-
Habeeb it.
He is the One.
Submitted by gravitas (user info) at 2007-03-24 15:09:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2007-03-13 14:02:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Habeeb has an English Lit degree?!?
Knowing that does add a layer of humor to his other posts.
Whatever happened to "Junkyard Wars" anyhow? I used to like that show.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2007-03-01 15:38:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Maltese (user info) at 2006-10-22 20:41:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Somewhere between this and 2004, Habeeb had a severe brain injury.
GO BEARS WOO!!!
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-04-12 16:01:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by cuberat (user info) at 2006-04-12 11:15:08 (#)
Ranking: 2
Go White Sox WOO!
A Habeeb post that was words not MSPaint...I haven't seen one of these in a LONG time.
-----
liek the Dead Sea Scrolls
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2006-04-12 12:01:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hahahaha
You crazy bastard.
Submitted by cuberat (user info) at 2006-04-12 11:15:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Go White Sox WOO!
A Habeeb post that was words not MSPaint...I haven't seen one of these in a LONG time.
Submitted by MichaelJackson (user info) at 2006-04-12 10:30:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
GO CANUCKS AND WHITE SOX WOO!
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2006-04-12 10:20:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2006-04-11 23:24:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What the douche?
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2006-02-14 20:00:21 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
stay banned.
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2006-02-14 19:58:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
this was actually pretty funny
Submitted by Foonbo (user info) at 2006-02-14 19:48:44 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!11
Submitted by MichaelJackson (user info) at 2005-11-21 08:38:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Unban Habeeb Bart Bart :<(
Submitted by Gnome (user info) at 2005-08-25 15:25:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hey, who'd have thunk it. great post.
Submitted by sg11588 (user info) at 2005-08-19 19:31:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Holy shit. That was the most enteraining thing I have read in a long time since joining Ubersite.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-07-13 00:42:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Holy crap.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-07-12 15:04:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
and just think, he moved all the way on up to chicks vomiting on penoses...
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2005-07-12 11:25:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Holy shit, that's actually a pretty damn good post.
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2005-07-12 11:03:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ChristPuncher <Cr3do2000> at 2003-09-26 15:40:37 (#)
Ranking: -2
God damn you, you illiterate Jackass
Don't you know what a paragraph is.
I mean, a constant block of crap not only hurts the eyes, it angers the soul.
You sir, are a jackass for not formatting this thing you obviously spent at least 15 minutes on.
What would the pope say if he read it, he would most likely condemn you to hell on account that you do not know what a paragraph is, and type poorly
YOU ARE WORSE THAN HITLER
--------------------------------
I like how Habeeb left that random joe comment.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2005-06-21 21:02:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 First Habeeb Post
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2005-05-03 10:01:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Scrolling back through your 125,000 posts took hours...
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-05-02 12:45:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Habeeb : Genesis
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-04-25 12:41:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Woo Habeeb's first post
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2003-09-30 14:49:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by ChristPuncher <Cr3do2000> at 2003-09-26 15:40:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
God damn you, you illiterate Jackass
Don't you know what a paragraph is.
I mean, a constant block of crap not only hurts the eyes, it angers the soul.
You sir, are a jackass for not formatting this thing you obviously spent at least 15 minutes on.
What would the pope say if he read it, he would most likely condemn you to hell on account that you do not know what a paragraph is, and type poorly
YOU ARE WORSE THAN HITLER
Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2003-09-26 15:02:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=1064411186978821212
Submitted by Quartermain (user info) at 2003-09-26 15:00:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This would have been a lot better with paragraphs.
Solid blocks of text make the Baby Jesus cry.
Although when you think about it, doctors and mechanics have basically the same job, just differently applied.
Submitted by PizzaEagle (user info) at 2003-09-26 14:51:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
AAAAHHH stream of freaking conciousness. I hate it. Did you ever read Portrait of The Artist as a Young Man? Man, that was painful to read.
Submitted by itchy (user info) at 2003-09-26 14:41:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I like it? English major huh? It shows?
Submitted by DrunkMonk (user info) at 2003-09-26 14:40:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I have a feeling I'd have given this a +2 if it had any slight amount of formatting.
And I did see something about "stop smelling your finger," which is probably pretty funny in the right context.
Submitted by Party03 (user info) at 2003-09-26 14:37:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Feel free to insert what I'm about to give you as necessary...
enjoy with my blessings, now I'll actually read what you wrote.
Submitted by DJMattB241 (user info) at 2003-09-26 14:36:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
English Lit Degree?
honestly?
and you have NO CONCEPT of a paragraph?
wait hold up... heres a link for you... lemme dig it up:
http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=1064411186978821212
this was funny. and could have been GREAT. but it was hard to read cuz it was a big fucking pile.
Submitted by potatomanjack (user info) at 2003-09-26 14:22:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Ugh.....
My head hurts....
Submitted by Yes at 2003-09-26 14:10:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HUZZAH HIZZAH! Now THAT is a fucking rant!