Just a typical Sunday (594 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 0.75 on 7 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Emily <browneyedgirl123.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2003-10-02 22:56:40 EDT
Recently, I was asked to be the new teacher for the six year old class at church. Being the oldest of five girls, I figured "Why not? Once you've seen little ones running around stark naked, covered in baking powder and kool aid (another story for another time), you've seen it all when it comes to little kids."
Then I met Billy.
This kid is a piece of work, and it's because of him that my stories of teaching this Sunday School class sound very TardBlog-esque. Billy is a sweet-looking kid who happens to be diagnosed with the following:
-Manic Depression
-ADHD
-Asperger Syndrome (a mild form of autism)
Billy is also very prone to aggressive tendancies and as a result, Emily leaves class each week with new bruises and scratches from dealings with him.
Anyway, two Sundays ago I decided that I'd had enough of trying to stumble through the lesson about the love of Jesus for everyone, and made the executive decision the last 15 minutes of class would be spent coloring. Maybe then they would shut up. It had been a difficult time teaching-- Billy had continuously yelled and interrupted me, distracted the other students, thrown chairs, proclaimed his love for me, and had just created a general atmosphere of chaos, which isn't ideal in church. So I set them to coloring. I didn't care what they drew, as long as they could just calm down and we could all leave content. After a few minutes, I heard Billy muttering to himself, just loud enough, and I caught a very naughty word in his string of incoherent rambling. "Billy! We don't say 'penis' in church! I'll go get your mother if you say it again!" I didn't get much of a reaction out of him, but he continued to draw and things quieted down. A few minutes after that, I heard him say the word again, but this time louder. "What did I just tell you about saying that? That's a naughty word that we don't talk about here!" By this time, the other kids had heard it and were all in a state of hysteria, overtaken by laughter. I calmed them all down eventually, but peace was not to be had. Just after they were all back to coloring quietly, Billy started insanely fidgeting, very uncomfortably. I looked up at him and he goes "It itches!" He jumped up out of his chair, furiously scratching his nether-regions. Like a fool, I asked what itched and he blurted out "MY PENIS REALLY REALLY ITCHES!!!!!" in a panic-striken voice. I glanced up, and lo and behold, who is standing in the doorway? The pastor's wife! Fantastic! I turned back to Billy who was starting to undo his pants. This is where I took a firm stance on things, grabbed his sticky little hands, and marched him off to the bathroom before he had a chance to expose himself to the class. On the way out the door, I said to the Pastor's wife "Watch them just a second, will you?" and I indicated toward the remainder of the kids in the classroom. I think she was too shocked to say no, the look on her face spoke volumes of shock and abbhorance for this little boy and his itchy friend. I left Billy to "take care of things" on his own, while I went back and wrapped up the lesson. He never did return to class that day.
All in all, however, I must say I adore these kids, even Billy. Teaching them has been wonderful, and I look forward to each Sunday, no matter what it may bring. It's always an adventure, and as a result, I always have tons of new stories to tell about the antics of my six year olds.
User Reviews
Submitted by smokymtcsw (user info) at 2004-01-07 13:30:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Tardblog is funny, and sad. This was just funny.
Submitted by McGinny at 2003-10-03 19:27:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I hope you sucked it better!
Submitted by Quartermain (user info) at 2003-10-02 23:29:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
**Recently, I was asked to be the new teacher for the six year old class at church.**
Guess we know who is being punished for her sins.
Consider yourself lucky. This evening coming home on the bus, some drunk whipped his out and started waving it around. Thats something I could have gone the rest of my life without seeing.
Submitted by Lady_Emily_03 (user info) at 2003-10-02 23:24:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
My explanation:
Had we been in any other setting, I wouldn't have reprimanded the kid. However, since it was church, and people of propiety (i.e.; the sunday school president would have yelled at me and all that) were in the vicinity, I had to have him try to control himself and his mouth. I mean, I may be a bit of a prude, but i don't consider penis to be a bad word unless screamed in church. Ha, it was still funny though.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2003-10-02 23:15:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
yeah, since when is penis a bad word?
Bart: I had a fight with Milhouse.
Homer: That four-eyes with the big nose? You don't need friends like
that.
Submitted by Yes at 2003-10-02 23:05:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Why would you say that penis is a bad word? wtf? would you rather him yell out, MY COCK ITCHES! or would you go for some brain-dead baby talk? The kid tries to express himself like a normal person and you reprimand him for it?
I hope you never have children... quick, go get your tubes tied and save the new generation your stupidity, we have enough!
Submitted by PWNstar (user info) at 2003-10-02 23:05:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
you would think that goes away when they get older, but I'll still say to this day "man, my balls itch" no matter where I am. hmm, gonna have to fit that one into a funeral someday....