I may be asian but dammit I don't work here! (1147 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.24 on 32 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <hpark_28.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2003-10-07 12:40:13 EDT
This pissed me off.
I was shopping with my roommate yesterday down on broadway and canal street at this asian clothing/cookware/dead monkey store... okay no dead monkeys, although I didn't go into the basement. Anyways we were looking for some bowls for the house and other nick nacks when this lady comes up to me with this puzzled I wonder if he works here look on her face.
Now I had seen this lady in the other isle talking to her boyfriend about what the best kind of dinner plate combination was, which looked to bore him to tears. Anyways she had obviously seen me talking to my roomie about why they don't have any nude women on the dinner plates like they did in my home town, regular talk for a employee right?
So anyways we had moved to another isle when she comes up to me holding this beige plate and said, "excuse me but do you have this in a set or do you just have it loose?" and her boyfriend gave her this strange look, like what the hell are you doing. I just stared at her for a few minutes and she kept repeating her question like I was going to answer her. Being the smartass that I am I said, "I don't know I could go back home and look but I don't have anything that ugly." So she just stood there for a minute and said, "ummm no I meant in the store." Apparently my quip wasn't up to her standards so I said, "No, I don't think you understand I don't work here, why don't you ask one of the people with the name tags on standing around like they give a shit."
Apparently I had hit a chord.
She said, "well I just thought you were helping her because well..." So before she finished I said something I've always wanted to say, "Because I'm ASIAN. Was it the yellowish tint that gave it away?" I made sure to say it loud enough so everyone around us turned around to see what was going on. She just stood there for a minute speechless and then she said, "Well I..." and walked away.
So needless to say I don't think I helped her much but it was pretty funny, at least from my perspective. I wonder if she ever found that matching set of plates?
Then I went home and had chicken soup in my awesome new bowl.
Mr roommate says I can be an asshole but what does she know.
User Reviews
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-04-17 20:53:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Way to pull the race card, dick.
Submitted by grandturismo (user info) at 2005-03-15 07:56:43 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by beibeiskids <beibeiskids.at.yahoo.com> at 2004-08-01 06:19:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
asian and proud
Submitted by KoolMang (user info) at 2004-07-21 23:38:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You're a godamn gook.
Submitted by asianboy <kayung.at.yahoo> at 2004-05-11 23:39:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
haha, nothing is better than a funny asian asshole.
Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2004-02-05 20:51:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
fucking asians.
http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=106684286329282952#228810
Submitted by cheeze (user info) at 2004-02-05 20:44:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
asina? i sohuld slow the typing down...i meant asian
Submitted by cheeze (user info) at 2004-02-05 20:42:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
rock on! i have an asina friend i always give shit to, so when he got a little japanese truck i told him 'cool, you get to control the whole process....you can grow thr rice and burn it!'
melissa the hobby-racist
Submitted by aswicked (user info) at 2004-02-05 20:38:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
sweet...hahaha
asians are cool.
Submitted by PeopleAreStrange (user info) at 2003-10-21 17:36:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Great!
Submitted by Bellebrown (user info) at 2003-10-08 08:06:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ha ha HA! You're horrible.
I once had some knobjockey come up to me in a posh clothes shop asking if I had something in some size or other.
I said "Nope"... the snooty woman said "well can you look?", I said "nope"...
There was a pause... I was in a funny mood and told her that I thought she was lazy and should do it herself... She snarled at me and called me moronic... so I carried on in the style of a shop assistant and told her that more excercise would sort out her thighs... My friend started to laugh at us, and this woman said "well Ive never been so insulted"... I told her to stick around as I thought I could do better. Can you believe that after three minutes of constant name calling, I was asked to leave?
Submitted by hcp28 (user info) at 2003-10-07 20:05:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm glad sublime is running quality control. that is the best hadooken pic ever... well next to the wet t-shirt one that was just randy baby!
Submitted by sublime (user info) at 2003-10-07 17:44:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=1065378545878925842
Submitted by zwiebac11 (user info) at 2003-10-07 17:41:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You are now my hero.
Submitted by natsthename (user info) at 2003-10-07 16:31:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Excellent.
Submitted by bob bank at 2003-10-07 16:29:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This rocks so hard. I would love to be able to do that, I would quote outrageous prices and have her pay me directly. Then I would haul ass out of there.
Is it just me, or do they STILL play chopsticks whenever an asian makes an entrance on TV? I don't mean the news of course, but on every white bread sitcom.
Submitted by hendrixjrr at 2003-10-07 16:18:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I was asked yesterday if I could show someone to the wood glue at home depot. My lack of a bright orange apron should have clued them in.
Submitted by Natophelia (user info) at 2003-10-07 14:23:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hahahahaaa
My friend's bf is Korean. He was born there, but has lived in Chicago since he was 3. He likes to fuck with people. They went to Mexico, and my white-chick American friend said they'd get messed with all the time and get wierd looks. They would tell the locals they were Americans and get special treatment because they were presumed to have lots of money. If someone started speaking an Asian language to him, he'd pretend he didn't understand and in his best Yankee accent say "I'm from Chicago." No reason. Then they got stopped by a cop. Apparently when the cops there stop 'rich' Americans, they'll try to get as much money out of them on the spot as possible. So what's he do? He pretends he's over from Korea, and the cop looks confused and tells them to move along. Nevermind the white chick in the passenger seat...
Okay it's funnier when she tells it.
Submitted by FATMANTPK (user info) at 2003-10-07 14:06:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"speak any of spanish" - Looks like I cannot speak (or write) english too well either; it should read "I don't speak any spanish"
Submitted by FATMANTPK (user info) at 2003-10-07 14:03:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I used to get the same thing at the landromat (sic?). I am part mexican, but do not speak any of spanish (except the bad words).
I do not dress like the other mexicans I would see there, and around town. I wear blue jeans, biker t-shirts, and steel toe boots. Most of the mexicans here either have the cowboy look, or the hip-hop look.
They would come up to me and start talking to me in spanish. I would just frown at them, then with my best southern twang accent ask them "Y'all know what channel NASCAR is on today?"
They leave me alone now.
Submitted by reallybored (user info) at 2003-10-07 14:03:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You should make movie, tickle ivory then kick oval-eye ass.
I need to stop. Sorry.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2003-10-07 13:43:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
nice
Submitted by hcp28 (user info) at 2003-10-07 13:40:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Thinking back I should have said, "I'm not asian but I play one on t.v."
and yes I do know a good recipe for crispy duck.
Reallybored, I'm korean so I don't do kung fu... I guess I could learn, but I do have a red belt in tae kwon doe. I didn't get the black belt because my mom decided it would be better for me to learn how to play piano than kick ass. It wasn't a total loss though I can tickle the ivories when the mood hits.
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2003-10-07 13:39:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Because I'm ASIAN. Was it the yellowish tint that gave it away?" - No probrably the slanty eyes.
Submitted by reallybored (user info) at 2003-10-07 13:29:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Do you know Kung Fu?
Submitted by Quartermain (user info) at 2003-10-07 13:08:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+1 from Column A
+1 from Column B
Submitted by ExotikJ (user info) at 2003-10-07 13:05:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by momanlad (user info) at 2003-10-07 13:01:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good work. Say could you give me a recipe for crispy spring duck?
Submitted by marc01 (user info) at 2003-10-07 12:55:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
i actually find this pretty funny as one of my better friends is asian and hes always whining about this and that and how no one really takes them all that serious not even to hate them. hes always saying "its cuz i am asian isnt it" to people and they give him the weirdest looks. if he was black or white saying it to the other it would go over totally different but both black and white peopel just get this are you stupid look on their face like that are dealing with a retard. it would so nice if everyone reacted like this reguardless of race.
but i still joke him about having a small penis. theoretically at any rate.
Submitted by werdmaster (user info) at 2003-10-07 12:53:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Racism sux sooo much
Submitted by potatomanjack (user info) at 2003-10-07 12:47:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good for you.
Submitted by sam_el (user info) at 2003-10-07 12:46:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Not bad. I used to work retail and I discovered something. People don't pay attention to name tags and aprons (yes, I had to wear an apron at one job), they pay attention to whether or not you have your head up your ass. You could be wearing a sandwich board saying, "YES, I WORK AT THIS ESTABLISHMENT", but if you are slowly wandering the store, they won't bug you. On the flip side, you could be wearing sandals and a bathing suit, but if you walk purposefully and confidently, nobody will bother you. The only way I could take get away from the crowds to take my lunch during Christmas was to slowly meander my way through the store.