My bottle of water is empty (423 hits)
Category: HumorRating: -1 on 6 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <wouter.poos.at.xs4all.nl> (View user info) at 2003-10-07 14:50:08 EDT
This actually has nothing to do whatsoever about my bottle.
This has everything to do with me getting some way of venting my frustration about stupid people in general and dumb women and punk kids who trash bus stands in the night
It all began very early in the morning on an otherwise very crappy wednesday. I got out of bed around 7 AM because I had a train to catch. While I hurry my ass to the trainstation I suddenly realize again how stupid some people are. You are minding your own business while you bike to te station, you are nearing the traffic you never pay any attention to because there never are any cars and if there for some miraculous reason there are cars, they drive so slow that you can easily avoid them.
Then all of a sudden some dumb bitch (of course) decides that it is too dangerous to ignore some lameass traffic light and stops. making me stop in the process. She was so fat there was no way for me to get around her. she makes me wait for 2 hours (it seemed that long anyway because just as have to look at a horrible carwreck, I had to watch that ugly fat bitch). When the light finally hits green and the cowwoman fell over and died of sudden clogged arteries because of al the excitement of a light turning green, I'm off and have to hurry my ass even more.
Finally arrived at the station I lock my bike with enough locks to protect the mona lisa, else some bum will steel it and sell it for 5 euro. I run to the train and are just able to make it. This was by far the best part of my day. The train is also filled with people and I get to stand for 40 minutes. The last time I castrated someone to get a seat I got blood all over me. Not wanting to repeat that fiasco I decided to stand.
Finally arriving at my destination I have to hurry to get to campus beacuse I had a first meeting with the dean, not something to be late for I thought Of course the train was late and I really had to hurry my ass off to get there in time. Well I was in for some major disappointment. I finally get there just in time. I have to wait for 10 minutes because some other students are late. When they finally arrived the only thing we did, I swear the only thing I got out of bed for early and raced my ass off to get in time for, was fill in some form so the university will be better able to harass people the next year to join. Being done after 10 minutes I get to wait for half an hour before normal class starts.
Well that sure was an experience not te be missed. The hardest thing explained was something my grandpa can grasp. And he has a regular diaper change. Of course the same dumb bitch will yell out in the middle of an explanation that "she completely doesn't get it anymore". You just wont believe what happened next. Instead of the entire class turning on her and having a public hanging she gets applauded, honest-to-god applause. It was just short of a standing ovation.
She thought she really was the bomb after that and kept on blabbing about it during lunch. At that time I thought (wrongly) that it would just go away if I ignored it. I couldn't be more mistaken. she didnt't need encouragement. I just sat there eating my lunch and she kept on talking and talking. I decided to walk away but she just followed me and kept talking, slowly beating down my defenses and turning my brains to mush.
After a very long and agonizing lunch I finally got rid of her. The afternoon as spent solving pointless mathproblems my earlier mentioned grandpa could solve. I decided it was pointless and got home early
I'm biking home when suddenly some punk kids decided the previous night it was cool to trash a bus stand. I was busy thinking of different and painful ways to kill that dumb bitch so I didn't see all the glass lying in the street. psssst, flat tire. It normally takes 10 minutes to get home. If you have a normal bike. Walking it takes about 40 minutes.
After walking for 30 minutes you never guess who biked past, in one go, you must be a geniuss. The dumb bitch from earlier that day. Seeing no escape as my bike was trashed, I started throttling her with my bare feet beacuse my hands were to busy gouging her eyes out. Leaving her lifeless and beaten body in a ditch by the road. I walked the last part home. Feeling happy and relieved that I done my part to make this world a better place
User Reviews
Submitted by SoxSexSax (user info) at 2003-10-07 21:31:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I think this is better than the guys below would have you think, but not deserving of a positive rating.
Submitted by anony at 2003-10-07 16:49:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
boring
Submitted by sjmanikt (user info) at 2003-10-07 16:23:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
boring. lame. whiny.
Submitted by MajicWalrus (user info) at 2003-10-07 15:57:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I got to the castration part and my penis made me stop reading. Sorru. (heh.. see how I made fun of him for the other post too!)
Submitted by Random Joe at 2003-10-07 15:14:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
That... was... a... MESS!!
Dammit!!
Submitted by Apathesia (user info) at 2003-10-07 15:09:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
*sigh*