.....I made him prance around naked with a pine cone between his butt cheeks (906 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 1.77 on 12 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Michael Kelly <chainsawchimp.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2003-10-11 08:54:13 EDT
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"I made him prance around naked with a pine cone between his butt cheeks"
True story ;),
Last year for the finisher of high school a bunch of friends and I had an alcoholic romp through our local neighbour hood in the usual manner.
Friends drink.
Friends decide to be social with rest of neighbourhood.
Friends steal lawn ornaments and throw up on random folks front porches.
Well we were all having a jolly good time until we got back to my place and found the door wide open, lounge room looking like a hurricane had blown through, had a few drinks, played some jim morrison, trashed the room, then quietly left.
My friends and I were dumbfounded, what sonuvabitch would do such a thing ?.
"Hey michael someone left a note." said my less enibriated friend Ryan, or as we like to call him Oxley (Its his last name, shhhhhh.).
Anyways, I snatched the note from his hand and trying my best to read the scribbled writing.
"Assholes,
Since we'll probably never see you again weve decided to 'redecorate' and help ourselves to a bit of your grog, good luck in the future" signed Peter Snifletts.
Peter Snifletts. That weedy fucker.
Peter Snifletts was the annoying affluent kid who went to our school. Along with his cronies the kids in the rich crowd they made sure whatever fun we had at school was instantly ended. I thought I had had the final word but I guess I was wrong.
I had sex with his sister.
But thats a different story.
Back to the tale at hand. Due to this heinous act of bastardry, a handful of my friends made a few phone calls and learnt where Sniflets and this cronies were celebrating from post highschool shenanigans.
Snifletts had a holiday house his parents had purchased several years earlier in the blue mountains, about a half an hour trip from where I lived, trashing my place mustve been a nice priority, trashing it before he left for holidays.
Well, being slightly trashed we decided to take the best course of action and recruit a sober driver. Naturally us five decided to walk to our good friend barrys house, five minutes walk from our house.
We knocked on the door loudly, heard the footsteps of someone coming to the door and the door opened.
"hey ?"
"barry, let us in, its a fuckin emergency !, snifletts trashed my place"
"and that involves me how ?"
(ok so barry wasn't really our friend, we just used him for shit, and at this point in time, we needed a driver.)
"cmon we need you to drive us somewhere"
"and I should do this why ?"
"because I fucking said so bitch ! cmon man, be a buddy"
"hah, you guys only want to hang out with you when you need shit."
"awww come on man you know thats not true, we just really need your help right now dude"
"fuck. ok, but if one of you throws up on my car seats im going to fucking castrate the man"
*said in unison* "yes barry".
We all hop in the car and start the mighty drive to Snifletts house. we get to the front porch, cars were lined up alongside the road and loud music is playing, no one was aware at this point we were there so we decided to sneak around the back of the house. By this point we had a little time to sober up so we werent as goofy as we were earlier.
Hiding around the side we watched the scene that was going on before us, Snifletts was blinded drunk and hitting on this gorgeous chick who obviously wasnt interested. His friends were all doing various other things, messing with the CD player, cradling drinks and talking and other such things.
Then it happens. Snifflets whispers something in the girls ear then begins walking out into the forest of trees further in his backyard. Being hidden behind the trees we decide to follow the snobby loser.
Sniflett walks deeper into the forest, finds a nice tree, does the mandatory shoulder-width leg spread, unzips, and takes a piss.
We wait for him to finish, and he turns around and faces us, the look of sheer fear is very evident.
At this point the five of us hold him down, and strip him bare....
... I then made him prance around naked with a pine cone between his butt cheeks all the way back to the party.
I dont think we'll ever forget the sweetest revenge We've ever had.
User Reviews
Submitted by Heimdallsman (user info) at 2003-10-30 01:54:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is for the title.
Submitted by Otter (user info) at 2003-10-11 21:39:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
OK, so let's have it with the "had sex with his sister" story........
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2003-10-11 19:48:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
and another
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2003-10-11 19:47:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
here's another one
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2003-10-11 19:47:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2003-10-11 19:47:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"Peter Snifletts was the annoying affluent kid who went to our school. Along with his cronies the kids in the rich crowd they made sure whatever fun we had at school was instantly ended. I thought I had had the final word but I guess I was wrong..."
"I had sex with his sister"
____________________________
HAHAHHAHAHHAHhAhAHAHAHAHHAhAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!
i couldnt concentrate past that. one of the best lines in a while.
Submitted by boxboy (user info) at 2003-10-11 13:20:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dream away my man! I wish this shit happened for real Damn Ass's deserve it.
Submitted by Yes at 2003-10-11 11:25:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Very Cool... best one for this title I've seen.
+2, good form!
Submitted by Titan (user info) at 2003-10-11 09:40:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No, no its not true....
but I can dream can't I ?
Submitted by dot (user info) at 2003-10-11 09:32:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Roger Waters <stone_pj118.at.hotmail.com> at 2003-10-11 09:29:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hahaha ah yes, sweet revenge
Submitted by boxboy (user info) at 2003-10-11 09:26:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good story, I doubt it's true though.