Idiots are like Vampires (659 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 0.6 on 5 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <Jaineix.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2003-10-13 16:07:44 EDT
I was sitting at work today, staring blankly out the window as some soulless yammerhead blathered at me when I can to a realisation, Idiots are like Vampires! Now hold on a second, let me explain how and why I came to this conclusion and try to list why I think this.
1) Idiots are about as hard to kill as Vampires: Short of giving a full frontal lobotomy, you'll never be able to silence the brainless spouting of a true bred idiot. They seem to have the power to ignore sarcasm with ease, just as Vampires ignore knives and bullets.
2) Idiots can turn a usually intelligent person into a mindless dolt: If you're trapped in a location with a twit, while they talk you'll feel you intellect slip away like logic from a theological arguement. They slowly take away your will to even run away or smack them in the face with a book. Just as Vampires use mind control with a look, Idiots rot your mind with moronic conversation.
3) Idiots can be hard to determine at first glance: Some of the cronic fools I know look just like normal humans! Matter of fact, if they could close thier mouths for just one second you might even think that they're actually part of the human race. Of course that myth is dispelled as soon as they decide to wag thier tounge and ruin a perfectly normal day with discussions about "Survivor" or that other dumb reality show. Just as you don't notice Vampires til they're latched on your neck, the "Idiot Incognito"...(As I like to call them) slip right under radar and screw up you day, and I.Q.
4) Idiots can steal your lifeforce: By sheer numbers and mind-numbing determination, they'll monopolize your time until you're a withered husk, repenting all you've done wrong in the eyes of God and they mind-rape you with idiotic actions and sayings. Like Vampires, that steal the very blood in your veins, these demented twits will steal your mind and intelligence until you sound and act just as they do.
Jaineix
User Reviews
Submitted by PizzaEagle (user info) at 2003-10-13 17:24:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah, I'm liking it so far. Although I missed the second episode, stupid midterms.
Submitted by sam_el (user info) at 2003-10-13 17:16:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Harmony from Angel (and previously Buffy) is both a vampire and an idiot. And isn't this season of Angel going great? Spike's back!!!
Submitted by PizzaEagle (user info) at 2003-10-13 17:12:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Is it possible to be an idiot and a vampire? I think they would die out pretty quickly. I mean, they'd probably do something stupid like season their human victims with garlic and kill themselves accidentally.
Submitted by dot (user info) at 2003-10-13 17:08:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by sam_el (user info) at 2003-10-13 16:30:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
They're also like werewolves. Some people will seem pretty normal and then BAM! they say or do the most inane thing you can imagine.