Its not to late Boston (583 hits)
Category: SportsRating: 0 on 12 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by txyankee (View user info) at 2003-10-14 12:50:13 EDT
BOSTON RED SOX TO NEW YORK YANKEES FAN CONVERSION FORM
Thank you for your interest in becoming a member of The New York Yankees Fan Club.
Due to an unprecedented volume of requests, we are currently processing only fan conversion revisitations for Boston Red Sox fans. Conversion requests for other teams will be accepted once all former Red Sox fan requests have been processed. We expect this to take a number of weeks based on the current number of requests. Please take a few minutes and complete the conversion form below to help us get to know you better and prescribe any required counseling to recover from your previous fan experience.
1. Please indicate the last time you watched the Red Sox win the World Series
__ 1918 (Please leave your form in the main office of your nursing home for mailing.)
__ I have never witnessed this event
2. Please indicate your favorite moments in Red Sox history (Check all that apply)
__ Babe Ruth sold to the Yankees
__ Pesky holds ball as the Yankees score the winning run in 1948
__ Bob Gibson shuts down the Sox in the 1967 series
__ Sox trade Sparky Lyle to the Yankees for Danny Carter
__ Big Red Machine beats the Sox in game 7 of the 1975 series
__ Sox lose 14 1/2 game lead to the Yankees in 1978
__ The "Boston Massacre" in 1978
__ Bucky Dent's homer in the 1978 playoff game
__ Bob Stanley throws wild pitch in the 6th game of the 1986 series
__ Grounder goes through Buckner's legs in the 6th game of the 1986 Series
__ Future Hall-of-Famer, Wade Boggs rides policeman's horse after the Yanks win the 1996 series
__ Future Hall-of-Famer, Roger Clemens traded to the Yankees
__ Yanks wipe out Sox in 5 games in the 1999 ALCS
__ Roger Clemens wins game 4 for the Yankees to clinch the 1999 series
__ You staff member gets has ass handed to him by Jeff Nelson & karim Garcia
3. Reasons you believe the Red Sox have NOT won a World Series since 1918 (Check all that apply)
__ The Curse of The Bambino
__ Lack of Pitching
__ The Curse of The Bambino
__ Lack of Hitting
__ The Curse of The Bambino
__ Lack of Defense
__ The Curse of The Bambino
__ Bad calls by the umps
__ The Curse of The Bambino
4. Have you experienced any of the following symptoms after another inevitable Red Sox collapse? (Check all that apply)
__ Headache
__ Uncontrollable anger
__ Heartache
__ Holes punched in doors/windows
__ Nausea
__ Smashed TV screens
__ Depression
__ Avoided Yankee fans for 3 or more days
5. October is your favorite month of the year __ Yes __ No
6. Are you tired of saying, "Wait Until Next Year"? __Yes __No
After reviewing your request, the Yankees Fan Club will contact you with notification of acceptance or rejection.
If accepted, you will receive
*A recommended recuperation program, including a recording of Frank Sinatra
singing "New York, New York"
*An opportunity to obtain tickets to future World Series at Yankee Stadium
*An "I've Come to my Senses" Yankee T-shirt
*Chuck Knoblauch's new video, "Illusions: How to Almost Catch Balls and Tag Runners"
*Posters of Boggs and Clemens in Yankee uniforms, complete with their championship rings
*A copy of our ever popular handbook, "Harassing Red Sox Fans For Fun and Profit"
*A coupon for a future poster of Pedro Martinez in a Yankee uniform, complete with his Yankee championship ring
*A one year subscription to a weekly support group for ex-Red Sox fans in your area
If rejected, you will receive
*Our pity and condolences
*A 25-second video capturing the past 100 years of Red Sox highlights in head-to-head competition against the Yankees
Thank you in advance for your patience during this period of an unprecedented number of applications.
-Alan
User Reviews
Submitted by Bender2 <exetreme22.at.aol.com> at 2003-10-16 04:31:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
youre just kidding yourself, liking a team because theyre good, and not because you have any amount of loyalty isnt going to cure the fact that youre a failure, your baseball dreams were crushed at a young age when the short stop on the other little league team called you a girl, or the fact that youre stadium sucks, jesus, does anyone else realize that yankee stadium not only is poorly designed (both the stands and the field), but also is frequenting covered in trash(derek jeter and old old grocery bags), and finally derek jeter sucks.
Submitted by jinx (user info) at 2003-10-15 13:56:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Do you post anything other than negative things about the sox?
Howsabout you post something that's about the Yank's?
I bet you don't even know the NY lineup..I bet "Derek Jeter" is your favorite player
or worse Rocket Roger...Do you know where HE used to play???????
I bet you've only been to a handful of games in your life....I bet you
DON'T EVEN LIVE IN NEW YORK!!!!!
I Love the Sox but don't talk shit about the Yanks. I even cried when Rocket pitched
his last season game in my house. And I think Rivera is the best closer in baseball.
But that does not mean that I like the Sox any less. I swear people that get caught up in this rivalry are mongoloids..............please show me that you're not another dumb schmuck
from the bronx(if you even live there) or a bandwagon loser and root for YOUR team and not against mine.
P.S. I'm from Boston and thats RED SOX NATION so I'm sure you'd expect a comment from me.
Submitted by jinx (user info) at 2003-10-15 13:37:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by txyankee (user info) at 2003-10-14 19:40:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
nice one gent, i didnt think anyone would notice, hence my -2
-Alan
Submitted by Gent (user info) at 2003-10-14 18:32:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
http://www.soxsuck.com/joke.html
Scroll to the bottom. You're fool of shit.
Submitted by txyankee (user info) at 2003-10-14 18:28:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I will be taken the credit for this, but the only reason i wrote this was because i am out
of work.
and i hate the redsox
-Alan
Submitted by UrbaneMischief (user info) at 2003-10-14 17:52:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
very funny
but also a -2 because I'm a spiteful bitch who loves the Red Sox
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2003-10-14 16:52:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Did you write this yourself Alan?
Submitted by marc01 (user info) at 2003-10-14 13:55:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hahahahaah
Submitted by reallybored (user info) at 2003-10-14 13:38:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I thought this was hilarious....
Submitted by ratbastard (user info) at 2003-10-14 13:33:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Is the concept of "too" versus "to" really that difficult?
Submitted by Gent (user info) at 2003-10-14 13:30:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
To become a Yankees fan, do I also have to go on welfare, sexually assault women, and start smoking crack as well?