I will build a Time Machine (565 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.2 on 9 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Meat <meat.at.kitty-hawk.navy.mil> (View user info) at 2003-10-21 15:59:17 EDT
Where are we? No one can answer this question. A certain point in space is just a point and isn't an actual position. Right now I'm on a ship floating through the ocean. The office (if you can call it that) that I'm in right now will be the same point no matter where the ship moves, however as far as outside the ship goes you can see that the point in which I'm sitting rapidly changes as the ship moves along - even though it appears to be the same point or place from the inside. Now from a standing position, say a building or bridge or something, the point should remain the same.
The Earth moves along too, so the point in space (where the building is) is constantly changing although in appearence it remains the same. Now if the Earth itself were a point, you could plainly see in reflection of the solar system that it is constantly changing it's position although from the inside out it appears to be quite the opposite.
Now for the solar system. It constantly changes it's position within the galaxy. It's point when looking from the galaxy is clearly not stationary. From the universe's perpective the galaxy is not stationary. All that I can decipher ends there.
what does all of that mean? Shit I don't know, I just thought of it while I was taking a shit earlier, just like Doc thought up the flux compacitor when he was dropping a load. This means in about two years I should have all my thoughts assembled so I can build a time machine and travel back to the year 1983 and warn my dad that he would soon plant the seed that will grow into an evil fruit which would disgrace his name by placing stories on the internet of how he shit his pants.
He would raise the evil demonic hellspawn who will one day take a shit in a Mcdonald's happy meal bucket, hide it under a toy chest until the smell of it gains attention, and when found would make my father angry enough to take out a belt to the evil fruit, only the dark being will hide the belt in order to postpone his destruction.
All I can talk about is shit and gay man sex. Although the two subjects are somewhat related (in their own right) I can make them seem different enough to where you (the delightfully ignorant and mis-led reader) can not see the connection in my writing.
Hopefully I can come up with something... ok someone decided to load up porn. Ugh, must remained focused on... Damn I done went and lost my train of thought.
It's the .mpg that no one can resist. It's the VHS that contains the ultimate secrets of sub-conscience hypnosis. It's the dvd that stops the meanest, kindest, sensitive, bitter souls right in their tracks. All who resist are not human. All who submit are imprisoned in their own utopia.
Escape? Unlikely. If hell is actually an embodiment of your most hated and feared experiences and thoughts, then my hell would be an eternity underway on this ship. I could not ask for anything more horrid than that.
User Reviews
Submitted by chicagogirl (user info) at 2003-10-24 14:48:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
are you going mad?
Submitted by Velouria (user info) at 2003-10-21 16:51:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
More shit and gay man sex in the future please.
Submitted by MaesterMeat (user info) at 2003-10-21 16:34:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i have become the cock of another. remember always what sits in your pants.
Submitted by lowsodiummonkey (user info) at 2003-10-21 16:29:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"All I can talk about is shit and gay man sex. Although the two subjects are somewhat related (in their own right) I can make them seem different enough to where you (the delightfully ignorant and mis-led reader) can not see the connection in my writing."
The whole post was good until that.
Submitted by MaesterMeat (user info) at 2003-10-21 16:23:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
lowsodiummonkey, wasting your time with this post not my intention. I'm damn glad my intentions weren't met though.
Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2003-10-21 16:17:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Yes! Oh, yes! Read it and weep! In your face -- I got more chicken
bone!
-- Homer Simpson
When Flanders Failed
30.
it took doc 30 years.
Submitted by Random Joe at 2003-10-21 16:12:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
It could be one of these chemicals here that makes him so smart. Lisa,
maybe you should try some of this.
-- Homer Simpson
Bart the Genius
Submitted by lowsodiummonkey (user info) at 2003-10-21 16:12:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
After you finish building your machine will you please take me back to any point in time before you made this post, so I can kill you.
Submitted by Random Joe at 2003-10-21 16:12:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
amusing .