SPT - Shit Post Thursday 10/23 is over. Here are the Results! (1040 hits)
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Submitted by DJMattB241 (View user info) at 2003-10-24 01:06:34 EDT
RESULTS OF SHIT POST THURSDAY (SPT) ON ÜBERSITE:
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Entries:
1. I've figured it out!, Submitted by DJMattB241
2. my shit post entry, Submitted by loki
3. MY job story, Submitted by <corinnecorinne.at.comcast.net>
4. Shit post fest!, Submitted by GodChicken <Monty>
5. MY shit post..., Submitted by Bellebrown
6. Loren1 is very jealous of Kristy Swan, Submitted by sinan k
7. DJMattB241 's SHIT POST'S ABOUT SHIT POST THURSDAY CONTINUES! [.....and the joke is over!], Submitted by sinan k
8. loren1 masturbates to classical music with cheetos, and a picture of Eric Estrada and Kristy Swan, Submitted by sinan k
9. why do we get called names?????, Submitted by <www.tzcdw30034.at.yahoo.com>
10. Ex & Shit inspired post, Submitted by PMJ
11. thursday is shit post day?, <corinnecorinne.at.comcast.net>
12. ssssssssssSSSSSSSHITPOST!, Submitted by itchy
13. The Post that will End Shit Post Thursday from Here to Eternity and Byond, Submitted by Habeeb Thomas
14. Most Viewed Authors (Shit post, but not on purpose), Submitted by DJMattB241
15. Jizz, humiliation, and you., Submitted by Ess2s2
16. Yay for shit post thursday!, Submitted by <snazzy_biatch.at.hotmail.com>
17. I hate kittens, Submitted by Luther
18. WOO HOO!!! Shit Post Thursday!, Submitted by Beau
19. Things That Make Jon Salivate, Submitted by Jon
20. I'm already confused, Submitted by corn_nugget
21. Shit Thread Band Wagon, Submitted by Stanton_Brasher
22. Operation Rollback, Submitted by adam
23. The Patrick Duffy Experience, Submitted by Steve-O
24. You Want Shit? I Made And Ate One Of Yes' Recipes, Submitted by sublime
25. SHIT POST (Yeah, as if I had to work at it :D), Submitted by Steve-O
26. Tow Yard, Submitted by Kris
27. My Girlfriend: The Dumbass, Submitted by Willard Vaughn
28. shit post on 'punk music' or the definition of, Submitted by Alex Chesbro
29. Self-inflicted injury, Submitted by Velouria
30. Tradition?, Submitted by <bussyzmom.at.aol.com>
31. Laying a Placemat, Submitted by psyduck
32. you are a l@m3r, Submitted by <valik_.at.hotmail.com>
33. OooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooO, Submitted by http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/
34. Ownay, it'sway onay ongerlay itequay asway easyway., Submitted by <dogshit.at.aol.com>
35. Shit Post Thursday., Submitted by Phinch
36. Quack!, Submitted by quack
37. Nachos..., Submitted by Yes
38. Ghost Dogs, Submitted by Evan Greene
39. Leave your limbs behind, they belong to me now, Submitted by PAS
40. I'm a real girl! Not a camwhore! NSFW, Submitted by PAS
41. Another crap post...damn., Submitted by Rondo_Mondo
42. the greatest movie ever ____ The road warrior!!, Submitted by <hafguitarist6767.at.hotmail.com>
43. The 6th borough strikes back, Submitted by loki
44. Excerpt 3, Submitted by Mary Mathis
45. licking a chicks asshole, Submitted by TheRef
46. My Emo Post (S.P.T), Submitted by settle
47. wow i got a positive review!, Submitted by <hafguitarist6767.at.hotmail.com>
48. Things I hate, Submitted by <mjslaunwhite.at.hotmail.com>
49. My thursday night, Submitted by <t_rex.at.whatthefuck.com>
50. my eventual plan, Submitted by <hafguitarist6767.at.hotmail.com>
51. my eventual plan, Submitted by <hafguitarist6767.at.hotmail.com>
52. Pie or Cake?, Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude
53. funny site, Submitted by gabe gabe
54. I couldn't swim Johnny!, Submitted by <jiffyracer>
55. trent reznor is an ass, Submitted by <hafguitarist6767.at.hotmail.com>
56. Does it make sense to....., Submitted by <Syphon_Virus.at.yahoo.com>
57. ubermap expanded, Submitted by jeano
58. The longest, most annoying post in uber history (Shit post gone too far)!, Submitted by <marshallb52.at.hotmail.com>
59. The longest, most annoying post in uber history (Shit post gone too far)!, Submitted by <marshallb52.at.hotmail.com>
60. Project LISH, Submitted by SurfSire
61. help me, Submitted by <hafguitarist6767.at.hotmail.com>
62. a cold beer beside me, keyboard and mouse before me, some big-titted bimbos lips around my cock, Submitted by iddqd
*
63. Hurling Feces And Other Things I Would Like To Do Which Are Limited To Monkeys, Submitted by sublime
<note> 63 came in at the very last minute and was only included in some of the things i could do off the top of my head.
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Statistics:
Shit Posts by actual shit post makers (people who suck for real, not just on Thursdays):
30 - 48%
Shit Posts that were actually about "shit":
2 - 3%
Shit Posts that were genuinely good:
11 - 17% (of course, in my opinion)
Number of people with multiple entries:
8 - 12%
Hate posts about me:
1 - 1.6%(and it was really crappy)
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Things I've learned from this Shit Post Thursday:
1. Razor couldn't write a shit post if his life depended on it. I think this might be a good thing.
2. AOLer translator. This is funny beyond words. I got it from loki, who got it from Phinch. Allow me to demonstrate:
AOLER TRANSLA2R1!1!! OMG WTF THIS IS FUNY BYOND WORDS11!!1!1! WTF I GOT IT FROM LOKI WHO GOT IT FROM PHINCH111!!11! ALOW ME 2 DEMONSTRAET
3. the term "shit" is NOT to be taken literally, snazzy_biatch
4. Real, consistent, shit posters will get mad if you start making your own. Isn't this right little miss "Try to kill our fun, only to be mocked wildly" sinan k?
5. I saw Street Punk embarrass himself over his own post.
6. You can't TRY to make a shit post. It has to flow naturally. (insert shit/flow pun here)
7. Necessity is the mother of invention. SPT required a new level of stupidity from its repliers... hence: AOL Translator
8. PAS can be very very funny when she wants to be.
9. iddqd is awesome and made a post with a mere 2 minutes left in SPT!
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THE WINNER OF SHIT POST THURSDAY, AS DECIDED BY A PANEL CONSISTING OF ME, FOR ALL AROUND SHITTINESS, WHILE STILL ILLICITING A HUGE LAUGH OUT OF ME:
<drum roll>
ITCHY.
His post, "ssssssssssSSSSSSSHITPOST!", can be found here: http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=106692797224407461
Not only does he rip an ENTIRE RANT directly from Maddox (OMG WTF!!11111), he then proceeds to relay a joke we've seen on ubersite just under four thousand times.
Then he finishes up with a nice shitty rant about his spanish teacher. He did lose some points for not including a certain piece of litter, i mean literature about rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy. But even deducting that, this is still the best post I saw all day.
Honorable mentions to:
1. http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/. That title! woooha! (#33)
2. psyduck, that was GREAT man! (#31)
3. sublime. Anyone that mentions Yes' recipes gets a nod and smile from me. There. (#24)
4. loki. You tried, kiddo. hehe. (#2) MUCH better effort the 2nd time (#43)
5. Phinch. AOL Translator. Say no more. Actually, I will. That post was fucking great! (#35)
6. Loren1, for putting up with the Krispy Spawn crap. (#8, #6)
7. dogshit.at.aol.com, that pig latin made my eyes hurt (#34)
8. Yes, for... being Yes (#37)
9. TheRef, Yes said it: Finally some tits! (#45)
10. Settle. FINALLY SOME EMO POETRY! i NEVER see emo poetry. ok i lied. (#46)
11. iddqd. nice last minute entry! very well done! (#62)
Funniest picture/caption Award: PAS (#39)
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Predictions:
1. Krispy Spawn hates me, and hates itchy more (note her response on his post linked above). She, however, is also afraid of us. She will not do verbal battle with us outside of her whorepostings. So Krispy, to you I say, "no. WE WIN"
I predict she will rate this a -2 and spew something stupid out of her fingers and onto her keyboard.
Or maybe a +2 cuz i mentioned her name, sort of.
She will definately rate it SOMETHING.
Come on Krispy, COME GET SOME!
2. Krispy's future posts will recieve STARTLINGLY fewer hits. <grin>
3. Shit posts will continue, but they will be lessened, and ignored more.
4. Razor's novel will be purchased by upwards of 95% of Ubersite regulars when it comes out.
5. Yes will have an affair with a dairy cow... in a certain orifice.
6. A couple of the regular shit posters from the list will be inspired by SPT to start posting quality stuff.
7. New user t_rex.at.whatthefuck.com (#49) might very well go places. That was ONE HELL of a fake shit post for a new user, man!
8. hafguitarist6767.at.hotmail.com (#61, #55, #51, #50, #47, #42) is in for the shock of his life tomorrow. He thinks he's on his way to positive ratings. Ha!
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Conclusion:
Well, that about wraps things up.
I'd like to thank all those who participated, especially the funny ones (you know who you are).
I don't think we should have (SPT) every week... that would get annoying fast. Maybe once a month. I think maybe we'll just have to wait until shitty stuff starts popping up all over the place again, as a sign that everyone needs to flush their systems out.
It has been a fun and joyous ride for me, watching Über just go flat out NUTS for a day.
I'm very sorry if I left someone out, forgot their name, or anything like that. Know that we love you anyways...
Unless you're a regular shit poster, then you can die.
I hope everyone had as much fun as I did. I'll see everyone in the morning.
Have a good night, and god bless.
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Signature and P.s.:
~matt
P.S. GO BEARS WOOOOO!
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Remember, hidden has declared tomorrow (Friday) as Übersex Friday, which we should definately honor.
HOWEVER, we must resume yelling at all the morons who make shitty posts, as if today had never happened.
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User Reviews
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2006-02-20 23:44:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hmmph.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-02-20 23:30:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ah Ah Ah!
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-07-08 20:08:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2003-10-28 14:26:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm a lil upset my "Investigative Journalism: An Absurd Take on a Random Phrase" http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=1066933197365427533 didn't garner a shit post nod. I thought it was quite shitty. Didn't real have a point of view...i just really blew an absurd phrase out of proportion.
Submitted by sam_el (user info) at 2003-10-24 14:32:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
My tale about my job and the cougar was a shit post, too. I say it is actually the winner, since it was so shitty it was ignored in the shit post competition. Go me!
Submitted by ScoutCJustice (user info) at 2003-10-24 14:10:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
YAY, I got a shit post. I wasn't even trying, I just suck that bad. GO ME WOO!!!
Submitted by GoblinVolunteer (user info) at 2003-10-24 11:57:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
o.O
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2003-10-24 11:11:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://ssshotaru.homestead.com/files/aolertranslator.html
I have it bookmarked, big mistake.
Submitted by DJMattB241 (user info) at 2003-10-24 10:56:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
loki, whats the link to the translator? i dont have it here at work, and i might need it in case an emergency comes up, hehe.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2003-10-24 10:47:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Matt, seriously someone must put a stop to this:
http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=1066986947172117024
http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=1067002475472310624#232755
Submitted by chicagogirl (user info) at 2003-10-24 10:38:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=1066340285699627570
I think this one was shittier anyways. Its so stupid. LOL
I hate when people type LOL.
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2003-10-24 10:02:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Aww I missed this I shall now hunt down all the shitty posts and read them.
Submitted by Velouria (user info) at 2003-10-24 09:44:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Next week I'll try harder to place, or at least earn a honorable mention. And I'm a new person. I'm still trying to figure out what all this Kristy/Loren conclict is all about...I might post something today and make am note of it so I can get a clue. *sigh*
Submitted by chicagogirl (user info) at 2003-10-24 09:26:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What the fuck is wrong with me?? I cant post a shit post right either.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2003-10-24 08:42:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The sad thing is that many of us didn't know we were participating.
Oh and if you e-mail the AOL speak, make sure you turn the auto spell check off.
Submitted by itchy (user info) at 2003-10-24 08:02:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Awwww . . . schucks. I knew I could suck, ut I could never have sucked so bad alone. I would like to thank those folks who replied to nail me for ripping off Maddox (even after I disclosed this in a reply!) for making the replies better than the post itself. I would also like to thank Phinch and Loki for making the AOL Translator play a large part in the replies to my post. I think that helped.
In closing, I would just like to say . . . You think I suck, you REALLY think I suck. Thank you.
Submitted by PeopleAreStrange (user info) at 2003-10-24 05:53:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Funniest picture/caption Award: PAS (#39)
Woooooh!! I'd like my prize to be a plastercast of my areola's which can then be used as eggcups. The PASNIPPLE Trophy - stylish yet functional.
Submitted by Bellebrown (user info) at 2003-10-24 04:27:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hm.... ahhhh.... oh yes....
I didnt even get a shitpostthursday honourable mention. WFT?
Is my life not bad enough already? Huh? Huh? Thirty seconds of my life WASTED on that post (I had to find the pic of the cows... I had to think of things that were shit).
And I dont even get a MENTION.
Well fine... Its obvious to me that to get some recognition round here I will have to post a pic of me, my breasts and possibly what underwear Im wearing.
Sod you and your shit post Thursday.
(not really - I thought it was a lot of fun).
Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2003-10-24 02:39:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I knew he was gonna win that was a top notch post.
Submitted by Party03 (user info) at 2003-10-24 01:36:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHAAHAHAHAA!!! I do tip my hat to the winner though. Itchy was the shittier person this time. Just remember PARTY03 IN '04!
Submitted by DJMattB241 (user info) at 2003-10-24 01:32:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
sorry man.
PARTY03 IN 2004!!!!!
Submitted by Party03 (user info) at 2003-10-24 01:29:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck, not even honorable mention. You're gonna drive me to get drunk after work today.
Actually even if I would've won, I'd be drinking to celebrate.
Plus 2 because I found a new toy...this was taken from CNN
IRAQI OFICIAL LIMIETD H3LP WONT B FORGOT3N
A 2P IRAQI OFICIAL AT3NDNG AN INTERNATIONAL CONFERENCA ON RASENG FUNDS 2 REBUILD IRAQ WARNAD THURSDAY TAHT FRANCA AND G3RMANYS LIMIETD DONATIONS WUD NOT B FORGOTEN1!11!1!1 I DONT THINK TEH IRAQIS R GONG 2 FORGAT 3ASILY TAHT IN DA HOUR OF NED THOSA COUNTREIS WANTED 2 N3GLECT IRAQ SADE AYAD ALAWI TEH H3AD OF IRAQS GOVERNNG COUNCIL1!11!!!1 WTF
Submitted by DJMattB241 (user info) at 2003-10-24 01:26:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
in the immortal words that loki has been using ALL DAY:
WA TEH P3OPL3 OF DA UNIETD STAETS IN ORD3R 2 FORM A MORE PARFACT UNION 3STABLISH JUSTIEC INSURA DOM3STIC TRANQUILITY PROVIED FOR TEH COMON DEFENS3 PROMOT3 TEH G3N3RAL W3LFAER AND S3CURA TEH BL3SNGS OF LIEBRTY 2 OURSELV3S AND OUR POSTERITY DO ORDANE AND ASTABLISH THIS CONSTITUTION FOR DA UNIETD STAETS OF M3RICA!11!!1! OMG WTF LOL
Submitted by settle (user info) at 2003-10-24 01:16:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yay for shit post thursday!
Good job. Now let us never speak of it again.
Submitted by bargled (user info) at 2003-10-24 01:16:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
7. New user t_rex.at.whatthefuck.com (#49) might very well go places. That was ONE HELL of a fake shit post for a new user, man!
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Thanks. You think some new guy walking in off the street is going to know Maddox pisses everyone off here?
Submitted by sublime (user info) at 2003-10-24 01:09:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I drink a guinness in your honor, all around my kingdom statues will be erected and projected in your honor, may your name be praised.