Train hopping in dixieland! (561 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 1.4 on 5 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by E H (View user info) at 2003-10-25 10:14:12 EDT
I finally got back from that hell hole called afganistan. Free at last, free to enjoy the rest of my life, to get married, to live happily ever after... Or so I thought. The hellish nightmare all began in rein mein AB in Germany. I was pulled off the c 17 that was carrying me back to Arizona, and put on a contracted commercial plane. It was a dc 10, and a lot more comfortable then those damn c17's.
We boared the plane and I popped a no go ( the opposite of a go pill) and fell asleep. When I woke up we were coming down towards the ground and I was fairly happy. I thought we were landing in Atlanta... We were landing alright, but it certainly wasn't Atlanta. I looked over to the guy next to me and said well, that was a quick flight. I can't believe we are in Georgia already. He turns to me and goes we turned around mid flight and dumped fuel. We are making a crash landing back where we started. Let me tell you something, The feeling of your balls coming up to the back of your throat has never hit me so hard before. I thought I was going to fucking have a heart attack. The landing went smoothly and they had to put us up in a hotel for a few days.
After about three day's of being in that hotel I had just wanted to go home. So I purchased commercial tickets and flew American airlines all the way from germany back to san Antonio. I had a small layover in DFW, which is where I called tiffany (tifferistic) to tell her I was coming home and to pick me up from the airport. Well, tiffany decided not to answer her phone twice over. I ended up having to call my ex who was more then willing to come get me. I finally got in touch with tiffany and she came to see me at the dorm where my ex dropped me off. This is about 30 minutes after I just got off the plane. This is also where she decided to tell me she doesn't want to be with me anymore. THREE FUCKING MONTHS went by and she decided to tell me that when I got home.
This is the girl I was supposed to marry, the girl I loved... And still do actually. Come to find out last night, she has someone else. She met some guy not but a few weeks ago and has been getting acquainted with him. Why the hell do women do this sort of thing? She had everything, I gave her everything she ever needed and she threw it all away for nothing. I can't begin to describe the feeling of melancholy that I have right now. The feeling of worthlessness, the feeling of shit that is bestowed upon me. Does god hate me? I am really beginning to believe that he does, that is if he even exists.
I actually have come to the point where I feel like offing myself, then my brain starts working in over drive. I start putting things together, I realize that I am not brave enough to release that hammer. I realize that its quite apparent she isn't worth it. Then I start thinking about all the potential that lies within me, my goals and my dreams. It's a paradox in itself, Off myself now and get rid of all the pain that lies within, or wait around a while and possibly see my potential sprout into something worthwhile. I've already made my decision, I've already come to the conclusion that I am not brave enough to do it. Not to mention the types of torment that would put on my parents, my grandmother and those very few friends whom actually give two shits about me.
I sit and think about something my father said to me. "Don't sweat the small shit" Is this small shit? I mean, there are plenty of women, but this was something major. I asked her to marry me, I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. To grow old with her, to share every moment with her...
Defenseless yet so violent princess of divine
Your ugliness arrived on time
And I know I never was beautiful enough for you
The scars on my back turn my fingers blue
So take down my pictures, it's better that way
That way I'm still seeing you
I never needed you tonight but I just couldn't wait
I was loaded and the hammer was ready
I'm just not that brave...
-- Perhaps I should just off her and her new boyfriend!
User Reviews
Submitted by dlc51761 (user info) at 2003-10-25 11:27:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I know it isn't any consolation, and believe me brother, I feel for you, but Life goes on. It's better you find out before you're married. I was in the Nav 11 yrs - married for 8 and had come back from a Westpac when I came back home thinking things would be normal. My wife found other interests. We've been divorced for 13 years and I have since been remarried for 8. I couldn't be happier, although at the time I thought my life was ending. I entered a very self destructive period during my divorce that ended up with my Navy career stopping 5 years short of retirement.
Hindsights 20/20 but if you don't allow this to get to you, you'll do fine. There are scads of lovely and faithful women out there who'll treat you right (be sure you treat them right too). Just got to be observant!
Best of luck and don't do something stupid!
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2003-10-25 10:57:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"Is this small shit?"
YES. I ALREADY TOLD YOU THIS. you never listen to me. NO ONE ever listens to me. i told you this is no big deal. it's happened to me numerous times. i was with a girl for two years that i thought i would eventually marry (thank god i didn't. i was too young.), and she cheated on me. i almost jumped off a fucking building. then i realized that no one was worth that shit. i realized that the only person i will ever need in life is myself. (well, and my mother. can't forget about mom.)
Eric, you know how much potential you have. and when you work with me, it doubles. so the security consulting business didn't work out. (not your fault. our business partner just happened to be a little shady.) you're ready to try again, and you have my full support. (although my air force job and my contracting job take up quite a bit of time)
anyway, you better start listening to me from now on. never, EVER, give your heart to a woman, because she will reach right up your ass and rip it out of you, and throw it on the ground and stomp on it and smash it into little pieces and laugh in your face.
loki- HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
yeah, fuck those republican assholes! i think most of the smart people around here are democrats like us.
====================
on a side note, we will be cheering up Eric tonight as there is an anticipated attendance of close to 200 people at ClubCrash v2.0 tonight. Eric kinda took the liberty of sending a flyer to a large distribution list on base about the party. then, the entire medical wing found out. my email box was flooded with anxious party-goers, asking me about it. this is going to be pure insanity. pande-fucking-monium....
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2003-10-25 10:39:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Eric, I'm really sorry to hear this. I've been there so I know that nothing anyone can say will really help right now. It will get better in time.
or if you prefer
fuck her she was a republican
I'm REALLY glad you got out of that hell hole in one piece.
not really a kicker of all ass, but you get the idea
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2003-10-25 10:22:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Welcome back!!!
Don't let the bastards grind you down.
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2003-10-25 10:20:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I don't know you but I feel your pain.
You'll get over it though it seems pretty bad right now.
"Offing" them solves nothing. you'll still feel like shit, only you'll be doing it in prison.
Move on and try to forget and when she (if she) decides it was better with you than with him and asks you to take her back, say no.
Take it like a man. You'll feel better about yourself a couple of months from now.
Good luck.