Insults (1536 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 0.24 on 32 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Kell <GoblinVolunteer.at.aol.com> (View user info) at 2003-10-26 19:12:39 EST
Thank you for sending me a copy of your book. I'll waste no time reading it.
- Moses Hadas
The play was a great success, but the audience was a disaster.
- Oscar Wilde
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
- Groucho Marx
An autobiography is the story of how a man thinks he lived.
- Herbert Samuel
Fine words. I wonder where you stole them.
- Jonathan Swift
We were as nearly bored as enthusiasm would permit.
- Edmund Gosse, referring to a play by Swinburne
It is burning a farthing candle at Dover, to shed light at Calais.
- Samuel Johnson, referring to the impact of Sheridan's works upon the English language.
The covers of this book are too far apart.
- Ambrose Bierce
My favorite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually tells you something.
- Groucho Marx
This is not a book which should be put aside lightly, it should be tossed aside with great force.
- Dorothy Parker
I didn't like the play but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.
- Groucho Marx
There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.
- Flannery O'Connor
Your manuscript is both good and original, but the part that is original is not good, and the part that is good, is not original.
- Samuel Johnson
Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.
- T. S. Eliot
This is one of those big, fat paperbacks, intended to while away a monsoon or two, which, if thrown with a good over arm action, will bring a water buffalo to its knees.
- Nancy Banks-Smith, on M.M. Kaye's "The Far Pavillions"
Nature not content with denying him the ability to think, has endowed him with the ability to write.
- A. E. Housman
An editor should have a pimp for a brother so he'd have someone to look up to.
- Gene Fowler
It took me fifteen years to discover that I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by then I was too famous.
- Robert Benchley
Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwards.
- Robert Heinlein
The remarkable thing about Shakespeare is that he really is very good, in spite of all the people who say he is very good.
- Robert Graves
Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.
- Robert Benchley
He is able to turn an unplotted, unworkable manuscript into an unplotted and unworkable manuscript with a lot of sex.
- Tom Volpe, on Harold Robbins
User Reviews
Submitted by Cassiopeia (user info) at 2003-10-27 14:50:32 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHAHAHAHAHA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
AAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
that was not funny. plus i hate you.
Submitted by Samover (user info) at 2003-10-27 10:12:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You forgot the Churchill one,
Some Lady so and so said to him "If you were my husband I would poison your drink"
to which he replied "Lady, if you were my wife, I would drink it."
Submitted by GoingBlue (user info) at 2003-10-27 07:45:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Love the quotes. Hate the post.
Spent.
Submitted by quack (user info) at 2003-10-27 00:35:19 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
cut and paste without credit makes ducks unhappy...
Submitted by Random Joe at 2003-10-26 22:42:18 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Twenty of the suckiest minutes of my life.
-- Homer Simpson
Burns, Baby Burns
Submitted by jiffyracer (user info) at 2003-10-26 22:05:42 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
wonderful use of latin my friend! I admire you, you are....awesome!! at least that is what strongbad would say, oh yeah and this post.....sucks!
Submitted by bargled (user info) at 2003-10-26 21:38:25 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
The post sucks, its not deserving of anything more than a -2 because its unoriginal cut and paste garbage.
Submitted by Random Joe at 2003-10-26 21:16:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
M. CATO, ortus municipio Tusculo adulescentulus, priusquam honoribus operam daret, versatus est in Sabinis, quod ibi heredium a patre relictum habebat. Inde hortatu L. Valerii Flacci, quem in consulatu censuraque habuit collegam, ut M. Perpenna censorius narrare solitus est, Romam demigravit in foroque esse coepit. 2 Primum stipendium meruit annorum decem septemque. Q. Fabio M. Claudio consulibus tribunus militum in Sicilia fuit. Inde ut rediit, castra secutus est C. Claudii Neronis, magnique opera eius existimata est in proelio apud Senam, quo cecidit Hasdrubal, frater Hannibalis. 3 Quaestor obtigit P. Africano consuli; cum quo non pro sortis necessitudine vixit: namque ab eo perpetua dissensit vita. 4 Aedilis plebi factus est cum C. Helvio. Praetor provinciam obtinuit Sardiniam, ex qua, quaestor superiore tempore ex Africa decedens, Q. Ennium poetam deduxerat; quos non minoris aestimamus quam quemlibet amplissimum Sardiniensem triumphum.
Submitted by Spite at 2003-10-26 21:12:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2003-10-26 21:09:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=1066744180349820840#234035
This is another case of a random_joe wrecking what was a unanimous +2. I'm sure that whoever it was had no idea what that post was even about.
No, it's not a +2, I'm just doing that as a counter.
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2003-10-26 20:43:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
as far as rating are concerned for me, when i peruse uber, if its not by a writer i like or have a very high rating on at least 10-15 reviews, then i aint reading it.
as far as ratings on my posts are concerned? well, id dtill like to murder the stupid motherfuckerwho RUINED my perfect 2 rating on my post 'anecdote o'clock' merely because he was too stupid to be able to give it the +2 that he meant to give it. i mean seriously, is it really that hard? grrrrrrr.
breathe.
ill be writing a post on ratings and uber and the explosion of posters etc soon. probably tomorrow.
Submitted by EvilZurr (user info) at 2003-10-26 20:40:23 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by sublime (user info) at 2003-10-26 20:30:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
loki, i'll give you that,
i was looking at the whole translator issue, my bad.
Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2003-10-26 20:28:50 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Boooooooooring
Submitted by Socialist_Joe (user info) at 2003-10-26 20:28:39 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
but it certinaly dosen't deserve a +2
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2003-10-26 20:26:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It's not so much the comments although I for one did not get it or think it was particularly funny. The issue is that you have someone who does not even take the time to sign up for an account or log in throwing out ratings. I know too much is made of the whole rating thing and in the end it does not really matter, but honestly if I see a post that has a mostly negative rating or say is written by KM, I just don't bother reading it. In the case of this post, random_asshat came in here and hit it with three -2 ratings for no apparent reason.
Submitted by Socialist_Joe (user info) at 2003-10-26 20:12:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I dont think im drunk enough to argue with quartermaine.
Though it is tempting.
Submitted by gascs (user info) at 2003-10-26 20:08:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by sublime (user info) at 2003-10-26 20:04:40 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Blitzen (user info) at 2003-10-26 19:46:10 (#)
Ranking: 2
i'm gonna have to agree with loki on this one
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Submitted by loki (user info) at 2003-10-26 19:42:12 (#)
Ranking: 2
another entry in the contest to prove why random joe should not be allowed to rate
so.... an aol translator is ok.... but a leet translator is not ok?
gotcha.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2003-10-26 20:03:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
**If I were a socialist, I'd be embarassed to make snide comments about original thought.**
AAAHAHAHAHAHA
seriously socialist_joe, I'm warning you, you will not win this one. Ask him why, I'd tell you but I think you might take the bait and then this will be fun to watch.
Submitted by Socialist_Joe (user info) at 2003-10-26 20:00:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
If you knew what socialism was you wouldnt.
bu come on if he's going to post quotes he should at least put in some more of the good insults.
Submitted by Quartermain (user info) at 2003-10-26 19:57:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
If I were a socialist, I'd be embarassed to make snide comments about original thought.
Submitted by settle (user info) at 2003-10-26 19:51:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Socialist_Joe (user info) at 2003-10-26 19:49:26 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Anyone can find your basic quote site and get all of those plus more.
Congrats you know how to use google.
Submitted by Quartermain (user info) at 2003-10-26 19:49:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Interesting...yet funny.
Submitted by neomage (user info) at 2003-10-26 19:47:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Worst. Review. Ever.
-Comic book guy after reading Random Joes reviews.
Submitted by Blitzen (user info) at 2003-10-26 19:46:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i'm gonna have to agree with loki on this one
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2003-10-26 19:42:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
another entry in the contest to prove why random joe should not be allowed to rate
Submitted by Random Joe at 2003-10-26 19:31:50 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
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Submitted by Random Joe at 2003-10-26 19:31:36 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
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Submitted by Random Joe at 2003-10-26 19:31:15 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
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Submitted by Random Joe at 2003-10-26 19:30:12 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
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