I think i should be going to church from now on (701 hits)
Category: Quotes & StoriesRating: 0.62 on 9 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <awko.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2003-10-28 08:23:03 EST
Now I'm not what most people will call a religious person. The whole idea of being told how
to live just doesnt cut it for me but the other week I had a dream that could possibly
change the course my life is on. Here goes...
It was about 10:30 on a sunday morning and I'm just wandering aimlessly around some city when
this scungy old dude jumps out at me and starts screaming "All those who are not currently in
a house of God are doomed to an enternity of torment in the pits of hell!" But of course with
me being a smartarse and all, I can't help to reply "But you aren't in church either so won't
you be joining me down there?"
The old crazy dude then got this really demented look in his eyes and started pulling at his
hair and doing all that loony psychopath stuff and then proceeded to pull a gun out of his coat,
call me a "Godless Satan-fucker" and shot me in the the gut.
As I'm lying there bleeding all over the place this bright light begins to shine down and Jesus
appears and begins to tell the loony that "This is not the way to win people onto our side".
Jesus then all of a sudden decides to go all Emperor Palpatine on this dude and fries him with
bolts of lightning from his hands.
Once the Big-J is finished turning the old man into ash he turns to walk away but as he does
I call out "Umm..Jesus Sir. What about the bullet lodged in my stomach?" to which he replied...
"Serves you right for not being in church bitch"
After this he just faded away and left me to die.
Now I know alot of you are going to think this is all bullshit but I swear I didn't make this
up. This dream freaked me out so hardcore I couldn't sleep for like the next 4 hours.
User Reviews
Submitted by Know_Your_Place (user info) at 2004-04-14 19:41:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
STOP POSTING JENNY!!!
http://www.ubersite.com/m/30303
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2003-10-28 10:48:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
**I know what you're thinking, 'cause right now I'm thinking the same thing. Actually, I've been thinking it ever since I got here: Why oh why didn't I take the BLUE pill?**
Submitted by Legendary_Threat (user info) at 2003-10-28 10:32:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ahahahaaaa....
Submitted by Deisangua (user info) at 2003-10-28 10:25:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I always figured that - given the principles how to become damned - the people in history you'd actually WANT to know and/or hang with are probably in hell.
Submitted by marc01 (user info) at 2003-10-28 10:19:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
personally i think you have a subconscience fear of christanity and that is what is giving you the bad dreams. for all that you may propose to disbelieve or what ever reason yuor not going to chruch you really dead down do.
/shrug its no biggie do what you feel comfortable doing . some people truly are meant to be sheep. be true to your own nature and you will be a lot happier. and in the end that is all that matters. not the fact that and of the mirid of assholes on this site think your a sheep, what a pastor tells you, or even the media spouts just what makes you happy.
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2003-10-28 10:19:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
The lightning bolts should have come out of JC's ass
Submitted by Bellebrown (user info) at 2003-10-28 10:02:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
hehehe. Dreams are fucked up.
You'll probably still be going to hell though.
Submitted by Acarnis (user info) at 2003-10-28 09:21:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
hahaha!
Submitted by Coby Llamar <cobyllamar.at.email.com> at 2003-10-28 08:53:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Good readin's, but not quite worth a smart-ass comment.