Someone tried to kill me last night, Hadooken, Tom, lowsodiummonkey - CONTINUED (1726 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.68 on 33 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by hidden101 <hidden101.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2003-10-30 19:00:26 EST
PART ONE- http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=1067555612880310002
=====================================================================
trevor left hidden for dead as the dogs attacked him, and went back inside. but trevor forgot one thing- you had better make damn sure and double check that hidden is dead, or it's your ass.
trevor snuggled back into bed with his girlfriend and retired again for the night. all of a sudden, he was awakened by a noise. he looked accross the room and saw a figure in the shadows. the figure crept towards the bed, as trevor lay stiff in terror. trevor's could feel his heart stop as the figure's face appeared in the moonlight... it was hidden.
"you should have made sure i was dead, motherfucker. now it's your ass."
hidden unloaded an entire clip from his fully automatic M4 into trevor's body, ripping him apart.
*CLICK*
"bitch."
hidden walked closer to the bed and stood in front of trevor's girlfriend, who lay sobbing and trembling.
"god, you're a pig."
she cried harder and balled up into the fetal position, scared for her life.
"i'll be right back." said hidden, as he turned and walked out of the room.
he went to the kitchen and opened the fridge. "Heineken. just like i thought..." hidden was counting on it, as he would need it.
he slammed six of them in a matter of minutes and walked back to trevor's bedroom, where his girlfriend still lay, trembling.
"wh- where di- did you go?" she stammered.
"to the kitchen. i needed to slam a six pack of brew because there's no way i'm going to be able to do this sober. you're just too fuckin' ugly."
"what are you talking about?" she inquired.
"you know what i mean. now roll over, bitch. and put this grocery back over your head- you're disgusting, and it's making me sick."
she did exactly as she was told, and hidden got on the bed. she let out a whimper as hidden entered her. "god, he's huge. i don't think i can take the pain. i'm so used to trevor's twix bar." she thought to herself. she had always called it that. she didn't want to hurt his feelings, so anytime he asked her if it was a good size, she told him "it was cute." even though trevor was lacking in manliness, she stayed with him, because she was hoping that one day he would get promoted from his secretary/coffee monitor job at the firm to a full partner and then she could finally stop having to make his lease payments on his BMW, which he said he needed to look important in front of the real lawyers.
hidden pumped harder and faster. trevor's girlfriend screamed in pain. she was bleeding... "please stop! it's too much!" she begged. but hidden had other plans...
"now it's time for DESECRATION!" hidden exclaimed, as he inserted his thumb into her chocolate starfish to get it ready. "i'm going to take a drive down the dirt road!"
she was terrified. she knew there was no way she would hold up. hidden pushed into her with amazing force. it was the worst pain she had ever felt in her entire life and she wanted it to be over with, as it was unbearable. she couldn't stand it anymore. the pain was too much, and she was starting to slip into unconscienceness.... but before she could, hidden screamed "DONKEY PUNCH!" and delivered a blow to the back of her head. she collapsed as her sphincter tightened around hidden's massive member. hidden pulled out and exploded into orgasm as what seemed like a pint of semen landed on her back, completely drenching her. hidden felt the post-cum piss coming on, and decided there would be no better place to do it than on trevor's lifeless body, which had been rolled onto the floor. trevor had died screaming, and rigimortis had immidiately set in with trevor's mouth wide open. hidden aimed for trevor's wide open mouth and filled it to the brim.
"my work here is done." he said, as he zipped up his pants. "time to go slam some more brew."
and slam brews he did....
User Reviews
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2004-04-19 19:08:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
godlike
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2004-03-25 02:27:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Now, what should I do about this boner?
Submitted by nam tihs emal at 2004-03-25 02:12:25 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Garbage
Submitted by UrbaneMischief (user info) at 2003-11-08 15:39:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i need to head to texas where all the guns are.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2003-11-07 00:18:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
well, i'd get one issued if i was an officer....
heh, like i'd really get commissioned. i'm getting the fuck out!
Submitted by defender0417 (user info) at 2003-11-06 21:28:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice M-9, my brother bought a 92FS too, and I always give him shit about it, he had to pay for it and the bullets, the army issues me both Suckers!
Submitted by IndianOcean (user info) at 2003-11-04 18:49:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
HERO GETS +2.. ANTI-HERO gets -2.
Submitted by spirochete (user info) at 2003-10-31 16:41:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
god, you're a pig-
i laughed and spit coffee on a file
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2003-10-31 15:46:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i laughed quite a bit.
trevor had died screaming, and rigimortis had immidiately set in with trevor's mouth wide open. hidden aimed for trevor's wide open mouth and filled it to the brim.
"my work here is done." he said, as he zipped up his pants. "time to go slam some more brew."
AAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!
Submitted by BillsSBChamps (user info) at 2003-10-31 13:55:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Rock is what you do
Venoms what you spew
And for you Trevor
A nice FUCK YOU
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2003-10-31 10:49:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
how come Trevor never responds every time i hand him his ass? he always replies to the other people that flame him. he must understand that i'm untouchable....
at least he knows what's up.
Submitted by fell-8-me (user info) at 2003-10-31 09:35:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That was fucking phenomenal.
Submitted by potatomanjack (user info) at 2003-10-31 08:28:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Are you in any way related to Hemmingway, because God Damn can you tell a tale.
Fucking great way to start my Friday.
Submitted by MickGinny (user info) at 2003-10-31 08:13:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"to the kitchen. i needed to slam a six pack of brew because there's no way i'm going to be able to do this sober. you're just too fuckin' ugly."
i laughed out loud
Submitted by UrbaneMischief (user info) at 2003-10-31 00:45:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hidden is my fucking hero
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2003-10-30 21:24:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Right On.
Here, have some Magnums.
Submitted by lowsodiummonkey (user info) at 2003-10-30 21:15:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That was fucking awesome. Thanks for reminding me why I love picking on you. ;)
Submitted by Franger (user info) at 2003-10-30 21:14:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
You could see it as he fucked you up the arse?
Submitted by Kristen (user info) at 2003-10-30 21:08:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
*the legend of hidden's penis*
--------------------
I think I saw the movie.
I was astonished-and scared to bend over for a week.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2003-10-30 20:28:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i know this. it was before he died. the legend of hidden's penis is no new thing, you know.
Submitted by Kristen (user info) at 2003-10-30 20:24:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ok, but what did Time magazine say?
And Siskel is dead. If you have a penis that transcends beyond the grave-wow.
Submitted by Franger (user info) at 2003-10-30 20:17:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Heh, you deserve another +2 for the 'reviews'
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2003-10-30 19:37:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
well Kristen, unfortunately the story is fiction... except the part about my penis.
and i'm a tomcat in the sack. just check out the reviews i've recieved-
"He was the greatest lover I've ever had. Justin who? hidden, hit me baby, one more time!"
-Britney Spears
"PURE MOJO!"
-Elizabeth Hurley
"I found the test results to be quite conclusive- it really is the most perfect penis in the world.... and I would know."
-Gillian Anderson
"Two words- STAMINA AND AGILITY!"
-The New York Times
"TWO THUMBS UP!"
-Siskel and Ebert
Submitted by Yes at 2003-10-30 19:36:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
you are all that is awesomeness.
Submitted by Kristen (user info) at 2003-10-30 19:28:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow. I don't know whether to feel bad for the lady or envy her.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2003-10-30 19:26:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i got the twix bar thing from Loren. she said she had an ex-boyfriend who had a dick like a twix bar.
Submitted by Party03 (user info) at 2003-10-30 19:20:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
AAAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAA!!!
I read this on the other post, but it's still funny as hell!
However you have now ruined the wonderful candy that is twix for me forever.
Submitted by BongZilla (user info) at 2003-10-30 19:19:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Im gonna go home and slam some brews.
Submitted by Pringles4eva (user info) at 2003-10-30 19:13:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
awesome.
Submitted by sam_el (user info) at 2003-10-30 19:09:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2003-10-30 19:04:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
you don't know- ASK SOMEBODY.
HIDDEN IS ONE HARCORE MOTHERFUCKER.
Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2003-10-30 19:03:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
words cannot describe the awesomeness.
Hidden is god.
Submitted by Franger (user info) at 2003-10-30 19:03:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
You should have skullfucked her as well or something.