Morning wood vs. piss hard on (7280 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.84 on 27 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <jpparker55.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2003-11-02 04:28:25 EST
"Submitted by MickGinny (user info) at 2003-11-01 21:55:38 (#)
Ranking: 0
I have not seen anything that deals with the issue of morning wood vs. piss hard on."
Mick commented that on a post about girls getting morning wood or something? Anyhow, I decided to discuss this issue, I apologize if it has already been discussed somewhere on ubersite, but blame Mick he said it!
Now all guys (over the age of 12 anyway) know about the dilemma of morning wood. Although there are many problems attached to waking up with a raging hard on. However I will discuss what some would say is the most urgent of them. The need to take your morning piss while hard. For those of you who don't know, it is nearly impossible to piss while hard. This problem is enhanced by the fact toilets are so low. The most common solution is to stand as far back as possible from the toilet, however this has a large risk factor attached as it is much harder to aim from a position such as this. Or if you are lucky enough to be able to do this, you can just go outside and piss freely in all directions (trust me it's great), however if you live in a city this isn't advised as someone could lose an eye. However there is one solution I have come upon by chance.
My family moved into a new house a little while back, and I was given the downstairs bedroom. I'm pretty sure it was a poolroom or a bar before I moved in but that isn't relevant. What is relevant is the toilet situation. You see whoever designed my room decided quite rightly that women belong barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen (just kidding ladies you know I love ya's) because instead of a toilet I have a urinal. I am unsure what their plan was, but I'm pretty sure it's because when guys get drunk quite often their aiming is a little impaired. Urinals aid somewhat in this problem by providing a simple target to aim for. Where does the relevance to the topic at hand come into this you ask?
Well the thing about urinals is they are much higher than toilets meaning you can just piss straight into it, there's a slight splash back but why the fuck would you care if you're about to piss your pants? You wouldn't that's for sure. So aside from the various other benefits of a urinal there is a reasonable solution to the problem of pissing with morning wood. Well it works for me and I haven't seen anything better.
My actual urinal.
User Reviews
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-03-29 00:44:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck nuking, Freight.
Submitted by Freight_Train (user info) at 2005-03-29 00:17:45 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by bossk (user info) at 2005-02-11 01:35:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Few people are willing to discuss the growing problem of road wood.
Submitted by bush_for_god (user info) at 2005-02-11 01:22:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
why don't you just piss in the shower?
that's what i do
Submitted by fucktard (user info) at 2004-10-04 02:25:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by cigar (user info) at 2004-10-03 21:14:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2004-08-17 07:29:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
When i was younger (About 2 or something) my parents taught me a very important lesson.
You can hold your piss for a while, and don't need to piss your pants every time you need the bathroom.
Therefore, I wake up 15 mins before I want to get up. In this time, my bladder does not feel the effect of gravity pushing fluid down, and I can sit in bed with morning wood until it subsides.
I can then get up and piss like a regular human being.
Try it, but don't post about it. It's not a pretty thought.
Submitted by Pooz (user info) at 2004-08-17 07:13:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Shirkinparkin (user info) at 2004-08-15 03:09:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Hey buddy, your splash back is probably getting on your toothbrush. That's gross.
Submitted by Falco (user info) at 2004-03-25 06:08:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I took a shit in that urinal. hahahaha
Submitted by IndianOcean (user info) at 2004-02-03 12:55:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i ususally just jerk if off.. sorry but i do.. i dont' care
Submitted by Random Joe at 2003-12-17 08:42:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by K.M (user info) at 2003-11-03 01:07:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Nobb (user info) at 2003-11-03 00:55:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
The posting of the pic had nothing to do with content, and as I stated at the start of the post, I was just going by what Mick said and apologised in advance if anyone had already posted on the subject.
Submitted by Franger (user info) at 2003-11-03 00:17:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
My content was good enough it didn't require it.
Submitted by Nobb (user info) at 2003-11-03 00:00:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yes, but did yours have a picture of your own personal urinal in it?
Submitted by Franger (user info) at 2003-11-02 20:57:30 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Yes I put something on this just recently, I think it was only a little over a week ago or something http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=1066613216237519304
Submitted by hcp28 (user info) at 2003-11-02 16:21:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Actually one of the benefits of a urinal over a toilet is that a urinal uses far less water per flush than a convential toilet does. So if your a guy it would be more ecologically and economically sound to have a urinal to pee in rather than using the toilet everytime you needed to go. However, if you don't flush then you can just ignore my comment.
+1 because it's stainless steel. You should put a target at the bottom so you can practice aiming.
Submitted by PeopleAreStrange (user info) at 2003-11-02 15:52:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice!
Submitted by Nobb (user info) at 2003-11-02 15:43:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"Submitted by MickGinny (user info) at 2003-11-02 08:50:00 (#)
Ranking: 1
YOU EVER SHIT IN THAT THING JUST FOR THE HELL OF IT? "
I would, but then i'd have to clean it up. Maybe if we move out.
Submitted by Party03 (user info) at 2003-11-02 13:37:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by MickGinny (user info) at 2003-11-02 08:50:00 (#)
Ranking: 1
YOU EVER SHIT IN THAT THING JUST FOR THE HELL OF IT?
AAAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!!
Submitted by Falconer (user info) at 2003-11-02 13:22:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Why buy a urinal when you have a perfectly good sink?
Submitted by prezuiwf (user info) at 2003-11-02 10:11:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"I have not seen anything that deals with the issue of morning wood vs. piss hard on."
Actually there was something that dealt with this very recently on this site, and I'm sure there have been more.
Submitted by MickGinny (user info) at 2003-11-02 08:50:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
YOU EVER SHIT IN THAT THING JUST FOR THE HELL OF IT?
Submitted by Dan Fearey <DanJF4030.at.MSN.Com> at 2003-11-02 06:00:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
1 for the picture of your bathroom. I gotta give it up that is one tight fuckin' bathroom. Anyways their have been times I've had such bad wood and needed to piss I simply hopped into the shower fully clothed and took a piss. Outdoor solution is good as well.
Submitted by atz (user info) at 2003-11-02 05:34:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2003-11-02 04:57:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
hahahaha