The Legend of Buttmaster (823 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.5 on 12 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Meat <meat.at.kitty-hawk.navy.mil> (View user info) at 2003-11-02 21:10:47 EST
"I am the buttmaster."
*old western gunslinging sound echos through the coarse desert air*
"It's about time you learn not to ass around with me sucker."
The young man named Biff was not at all intimidated by the buttmaster and his arrogant claims. Biff was going to get through to the end of this uninhabitable, barren desert wasteland because he had a secret, a secret which would prove to be a great advantage at a confrontation such as this particular one.
"Buttmaster? Ha, you think you have what it takes to take on the snatch sage?"
"Snatch Sage? Yeah right kid, my ancestors took care of him centuries ago. Besides, you're the only one here. Where the hell is this "snatch sage" that you say is ready to fight me?"
"You're looking at him you butt-fucking bastard."
The buttmaster's eyes squinted as the supposed "snatch sage" spoke. Could it really be the actual snatch sage of legend and lore? The same snatch sage who was supposed to have been defeated by the buttmaster's ancestor Dickin Booty? "No way possible, he has to be bluffing... but if so I'll have to teach him good like my ancestor dickin booty did", thought the buttmaster to himself.
The war between the masters of ass and the vixens of vagina have gone on for a millienia now. It was thought that the war had come to a draw a mere twenty years ago when buttmaster's father, reacharound brown defeated snatch sage's great desendent, P.P. (Pocket Pussy). The power of combined penises was always too much for the vaginal brigade, it is actually astounding that they had managed to fend off the assmasters for a whole millienia.
Snatch Sage's soul was said to have been lost forever in the endless void known only as the "man hole" to never walk the planet again. Could this young man actually be the reincarnation of Snatch Sage himself?
"Heh", shrugged Buttmaster. "Only one way to find out."
Buttmaster's hand darted down for his holster but snatch sage already knew a quickdraw was in progress. It was almost as if snatch sage knew what buttmaster was thinking, as if he knew exactly what was going to happen before it was happening. With ultimate intensity snatch sage blocked the cock shot and reached down in his holster for the cherry popper.
Unfortunately for snatch sage he wasn't fast enough for buttmaster and his trusty cock shot. The power of cock once again proved to be far more supreme than that of snatch. Snatch sage looked in disgust at his victorious oppenent as he fell face first into the dirt.
"Soap Dropper" were the last words out of his mouth.
That is when the skies darkened and and the wind began to howl. Lighting darted across the sky, and out of a newly-formed tornado came something the buttmaster would never expect.
With his dying words snatch sage called forth anal crusader (aka soap dropper) who took all of his opponents from behind the worse way possible... by rape. It was said he spent centuries in the pen with many buttmasters to call his own.
Buttmaster knew his fate. With his last cockshot currently residing in the snatch sage, butt master had no choice but to put his head between his legs and kiss his ass goodbye.
And that is how the buttmaster's ass was mastered. If you've ever accidently bumped into a chunk of 100% masculine male booty you too must have felt the power and despair the buttmaster's thousand year reign of butt-blasting had caused. Don't worry child, for you are not alone.
User Reviews
Submitted by Velouria (user info) at 2003-11-03 17:20:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Har dee har
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2003-11-03 09:47:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Beer_bong (user info) at 2003-11-03 02:00:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm going to hell for laughing at this.
Totally worth it.
Submitted by bargled (user info) at 2003-11-03 01:45:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Bargled at 2003-11-02 21:18:37 (#)
Ranking: 2
What. The. Fuck.
I loved it.
============
Just confirming I said this with my logged-in self.
+2
Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2003-11-03 01:31:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2003-11-02 21:25:47 (#)
Ranking: 2
I like things that are x-rated.
I like Star Wars.
This reads like an x-rated Star Wars.
------------------------------------------
I can't say it better.
Submitted by jonukah (user info) at 2003-11-02 23:20:48 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Just because I couldn't stand the thought of this maintaining a 2
Submitted by Choppa (user info) at 2003-11-02 22:44:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
you should write gay porn for a living.
honestly, i mean that in the nicest way possible.
Submitted by ess2s2 (user info) at 2003-11-02 21:49:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I think you are spending too much time out on the water, ask the skipper for a port visit ASAP!
Great story though. I laughed my ass off.
Submitted by EvilZurr (user info) at 2003-11-02 21:48:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
kicker of all ass indeed
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2003-11-02 21:25:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I like things that are x-rated.
I like Star Wars.
This reads like an x-rated Star Wars.
Submitted by Bargled at 2003-11-02 21:18:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
What. The. Fuck.
I loved it.
Submitted by iconoclast at 2003-11-02 21:12:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
haha