"If I cum now, will it be too soon" or why guys are quiet in bed (773983 hits)
Category: Science & EnvironmentalRating: 1.64 on 606 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Jon Elkins <jonukah.at.aol.com> (View user info) at 2003-11-04 23:17:40 EST
I was once having a conversation with Jesus and our girlfriends and Razor's house, and an interesting subject came up. (And yes, I purposely included the name of an uberuser guru in a pale attempt to gain popularity) Anyway, someone asked, "Why are guys so quiet in bed." And while this is by no means true for all guys, here is my answer.
Guys are quiet in bed because we are too busy thinking. You heard me right. Thinking. Deep thoughts. You see, it seems to generally the guy's job, (at least in my experience) to make the girl feel as good as possible and have sweet, sweet orgasms. The girl, on the other hand, is generally content to just lay back and see what I've got to offer. Again, I can't speak for anyone else, this is just in my personal experience.
Not only am I thinking during sex, I am multi-tasking. My neuro-net processor of a brain is pounding algorithms as fast as my penis is pounding pussy.
Just what is going through my head during sex? Like the moon, this is a frontier so far journeyed only by man. But here is a small window of what goes on in my head during sex:
"Alright, time for some action"
"I hope I don't fuck up this time"
"Is that the right hole?"
"Oh wait, there it is"
"All right, lets start out slow"
It isn't long before my thoughts turn into a quiet panic.
BRAIN: "Damn, she just moved."
BRAIN: "Did I do something right, or did I hurt her"
<soft moaning starts>
BRAIN: "She's making noises!"
BRAIN: "Pain noises or pleasure noises?"
BRAIN: "Let try stepping up the pace a little"
<increased moaning"
BRAIN: "More noises, I pretty sure that's pleasure now"
BRAIN: "Oh yeah, she's starting to flush, I like that"
BRAIN: "Lets try changing the angle a bit"
.............................
BRAIN: "Nope, didn't like that"
<Moans quieting>
BRAIN: "Damn, what was I doing before?"
BRAIN: "Fuck it, lets try a different position"
WOMAN: "OUCH!"
BRAIN: "Yeah....that one was definitely pain>
WOMAN: "What are you doing?"
BRAIN: "Mayday! Mayday!"
BRAIN: "Decrease Velocity!"
BRAIN: "Open flaps"
BRAIN: "Landing gear engaged"
BRAIN: "Disengage primary thrusters"
BRAIN: "Systems check"
ME: "You allright?"
WOMAN: "Uh....Yeah"
BRAIN: "No system damage"
ME: "Allright, lets try this again"
—five minutes later....computer pretty much takes over—
BRAIN: "Allright, back on track"
<Moans increasing in volume and frequency>
BRAIN: "Target in sight, hold position"
<Full body blush commencing>
BRAIN: "C'mon.......C'mon"
<Back arching>
BRAIN: "Hold it......Hold it....."
COMPUTER: WARNING! WARNING!
COMPUTER: ERR-ERR-ERR
BRAIN: "Oh shit"
COMPUTER: SYSTEM OVERLOAD IMMINENT
BRAIN: "Oh shit, not yet!"
<Moaning above 80 decibals>
BRAIN: "Just a little longer"
COMPUTER: DANGER HULL INTEGRITY
COMPUTER: SYSTEM OVERLOAD COMMENCING
BRAIN: "FUCK! I'm not going to make it"
BRAIN: "Pull out and prepare for manual override"
COMPUTER: SYSTEM OVERLOAD __________
BRAIN: "Pull out, pull out"
COMPUTER: AUTO PILOT ENGAGED
BRAIN: "NO! UNENGAGE! UNENGAGE!"
COMPUTER: TARGET LOCKED....TARGET LOCKED
BRAIN: "If I cum now, will it be too soon?"
BRAIN: "If I cum now, will it be too soon?"
BRAIN: "If I cum now, will it be too soon?"
COMPUTER: <Target heart rate reached>
COMPUTER: <Breathing nominal>
BRAIN: "Must....hold....on"
COMPUTER: <FEMALE ORGASM COMMENCING>
BRAIN: "can't.....hold it"
COMPUTER: <FEMALE ORGASM COMMENCING>
BRAIN: "Its out of my control, its in God's hands now"
COMPUTER: "PRIMARY VALVE: EJACULATING"
<keeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrr SPLAT!>
COMPUTER: "AUTOMATIC SYSTEM SHUT DOWN: COMMENCING"
<THUD>
WOMAN: "Honey, are you alright?"
ME: Yeah.....my head hurts...."
WOMAN: "Sorry" <blush>
ME: No, the other head"
WOMAN: "What?"
ME: Nothing"
ME: Did you cum"
WOMAN: "What, you didn't notice"
ME: Actually, I was kinda too busy to notice"
WOMAN: "You're so weird"
ME: You should try being the pilot next time"
WOMAN: "Get off me, I need to pee"
Do you ever find that pre-orgasm expression on a guys face funny?
Ever wonder what he's feeling"
Its not pain
Its not pleasure
It is deep, hard, seething thought.
User Reviews
Submitted by astyanax777 (user info) at 2009-09-13 21:26:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
fucking great
Submitted by nutsplash (user info) at 2009-07-22 14:54:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
FUCKING JACKOFFS !
GO PLAY WITH YOUSELVES WHILE I RAPE FUCK YOUR WOMEN REAL GOOD AND YOU CAN TASTE MY CUM OFF HER AFTER.
HOW DO I TASTE FUCKERS ?
Submitted by Scott4uf21 (user info) at 2009-06-27 15:34:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Yea that's pretty close to right. I personally am thinking a lot of how my junk feel way up in her. PS. When you hit the cervex you've gone too far.
Submitted by v1p3r0412 (user info) at 2009-05-12 21:32:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I can relate with 99% of this shit. but the face... thats scary...
Submitted by crimebusterofthesea (user info) at 2009-01-19 07:55:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Funny stuff
Submitted by Fungah (user info) at 2009-01-16 10:51:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
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Submitted by nargles (user info) at 2008-10-09 17:39:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you think way too much
Submitted by simplemindedhafwit (user info) at 2008-10-09 09:48:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
very amusing but I'm a little confused. What does Cat Stevens have to do with it?
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2008-09-15 00:26:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by jennifromthebenny (user info) at 2008-08-13 15:30:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
the picture really sets the mood for me...
Submitted by English_Master (user info) at 2008-07-27 22:16:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I concur entirely.
Well put, sir.
Submitted by NAKEDMAMMAL (user info) at 2008-07-23 23:27:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If your lady complains that your too quiet in bed all you have to do is wait til next time your going at it then, as you reach splowage point, let out the most beastial, thunderous, wookie roar you can muster - make sure you muster enough bass from your diaphram to literally cause ornaments to topple from shelves, and colons to prolapse.
This shit needs to be loud and prolonged enough to sound like some sort of pavarroti/chewbacca hybrid warriors battlecry.
She'l love it.
Submitted by Majik_Marker (user info) at 2008-05-18 08:44:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
For the first few times in sex you just think about doing it.
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2008-05-05 17:36:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by cerpin_taxt (user info) at 2008-02-27 14:27:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
i usually end up trying to count by 7's or 13's or think something that totally turns me off.
like tuna fish. yuck
-----
Prime numbers work a treat. When you know them by heart go backwards from 200. Or just get better at sex, whatever.
Submitted by loan_officer (user info) at 2008-03-30 13:02:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by skyler (user info) at 2008-03-23 11:54:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
haha I dont like making a lot of noise. It is kind of embaracing lol.
Submitted by rodyarask (user info) at 2008-03-20 18:30:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by cerpin_taxt (user info) at 2008-02-27 14:27:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
i usually end up trying to count by 7's or 13's or think something that totally turns me off.
like tuna fish. yuck
Submitted by ScubbaStieve (user info) at 2008-02-07 14:08:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
...so why don't you at least give some indication that you like what we're doing when WE'RE the ones doing the work?? I mean, sure, some guys do, but most guys just kind of... lay there... and maybe close their eyes... start breathing heavy if we're lucky... I mean, soo many guys have told me they love it when a woman takes control, but I HATE taking control SIMPLY because HE doesnt respond. He'll tell me after that he enjoyed it. Mini-him will respond. But Big-him won't! What's up with that??
Submitted by Arnold_Benedict (user info) at 2008-02-03 03:41:12 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
YOU TON'T TELL ABOUT HOW GAY GUYS DO IT DO THEY BOTH THINK AND THEREFORE HAVE BETTER SEX THAN LAZY NON-THINKING WOMENS????????????????????????
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-11-30 23:10:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by idodeklair (user info) at 2007-11-20 16:15:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by BuSt3r (user info) at 2007-11-20 13:35:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yet more proof that the whole mating process is far easier on the female. They get to lay there whilst the guy goes through the mental anguish above. Still playing with tits is fucking ace...
Submitted by ShimishSmortion (user info) at 2007-11-17 20:52:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I've always wanted to give this a plus two. Now's my chance.
Submitted by DeMoNiC (user info) at 2007-10-28 20:20:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Striperella (user info) at 2007-01-19 16:32:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"fgrv8gunjltbgruijnokgthb" <~~ ok ... THAT was just out of line. Also...i don't like the idea of men thinking during sex. What ever happened to the good old days when men just didnt give a shit? I almost prefer it. As soon as you get all "oh no!!! I came too soon"..or.."oh shit...i hit her in the face"... you fall under the " I actually give a flying fuck" category, which falls under the "caring" category. Caring is for women. wtf is going on. ( i totally laughed )
----
I agree with above, however I think I was EXACTLY as the post described on my second and third times?
Since then as long as I get my rocks off, I don't care.
Funny as hell post though, was one of the earlier posts I read also before making an account.
Submitted by Raven2 (user info) at 2007-07-26 10:32:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
And I had always wondered!
Submitted by cmcconn (user info) at 2007-07-09 16:18:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Try the ABC's...
Submitted by Zeglamancer (user info) at 2007-06-18 18:15:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
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.........................\`"""` · · ·`'~;-,„,,_)"`_-' : : / · · · · · · | ....................
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Submitted by Crystal_o_Brian (user info) at 2007-06-17 19:54:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I always wondered...... Curiosity sated.
Submitted by Malcontent (user info) at 2007-05-21 19:57:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Not true but accurate.
Submitted by dluther31 (user info) at 2007-05-18 07:30:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.essaybuzz.com
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-04-25 22:00:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by kutschelove (user info) at 2007-04-21 17:04:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I loved this! Read it a few months ago before I joined the site. Recently, showed it to my boyfriend and he totally agreed. Funny as hell.
Submitted by strwbryfanatic (user info) at 2007-04-06 02:51:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You have reached the end, now hurry back!
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2007-04-05 22:02:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2007-04-04 10:15:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-02-01 06:43:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
BRAIN: "C'mon.......C'mon"
<Back arching>
BRAIN: "Hold it......Hold it....."
COMPUTER: WARNING! WARNING!
COMPUTER: ERR-ERR-ERR
BRAIN: "Oh shit"
COMPUTER: SYSTEM OVERLOAD IMMINENT
BRAIN: "Oh shit, not yet!"
<Moaning above 80 decibals>
BRAIN: "Just a little longer"
COMPUTER: DANGER HULL INTEGRITY
COMPUTER: SYSTEM OVERLOAD COMMENCING
BRAIN: "FUCK! I'm not going to make it"
-------------------------------------------------------
Here, the man and woman's thoughts are remarkably in tune.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
hahahahahha
+2 for that
Submitted by strwbryfanatic (user info) at 2007-04-04 10:09:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I can't believe I never rated this!
Submitted by diedra5000 (user info) at 2007-03-31 11:54:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You know, I always enjoy reading your stuff. On the other hand, every time I read this one, I always wonder if you're really faking in that picture...^_^
Submitted by sideshow (user info) at 2007-03-15 12:56:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I read this a while back but never rated it. It is pretty fucking funny though...
Submitted by jojo747 (user info) at 2007-03-10 05:12:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
this sucks and you're a fag
Submitted by damunzy (user info) at 2007-03-03 20:12:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ass good an ass kicker ass all of Chuck Norris' movies combined! ass
Submitted by GemPenguin (user info) at 2007-02-20 21:10:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by deinonychai (user info) at 2007-02-13 03:03:35 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
What the hell is that thing you've pictured?
+1 to misanthropy.
-2 to you.
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-02-01 06:43:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
BRAIN: "C'mon.......C'mon"
<Back arching>
BRAIN: "Hold it......Hold it....."
COMPUTER: WARNING! WARNING!
COMPUTER: ERR-ERR-ERR
BRAIN: "Oh shit"
COMPUTER: SYSTEM OVERLOAD IMMINENT
BRAIN: "Oh shit, not yet!"
<Moaning above 80 decibals>
BRAIN: "Just a little longer"
COMPUTER: DANGER HULL INTEGRITY
COMPUTER: SYSTEM OVERLOAD COMMENCING
BRAIN: "FUCK! I'm not going to make it"
-------------------------------------------------------
Here, the man and woman's thoughts are remarkably in tune.
Submitted by Striperella (user info) at 2007-01-19 01:32:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"fgrv8gunjltbgruijnokgthb" <~~ ok ... THAT was just out of line. Also...i don't like the idea of men thinking during sex. What ever happened to the good old days when men just didnt give a shit? I almost prefer it. As soon as you get all "oh no!!! I came too soon"..or.."oh shit...i hit her in the face"... you fall under the " I actually give a flying fuck" category, which falls under the "caring" category. Caring is for women. wtf is going on. ( i totally laughed )
Submitted by cshape (user info) at 2007-01-07 09:06:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for having a conversation with a house.
Submitted by konohasaiyajin (user info) at 2007-01-01 19:20:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Funny every time I read it.
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2006-12-29 16:57:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
this never gets old.
Submitted by hot_pocket (user info) at 2006-12-29 16:28:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
BRAIN: "Pull out and prepare for manual override"
Submitted by dwype (user info) at 2006-12-26 00:04:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Maltese (user info) at 2006-12-15 16:02:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
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Submitted by cigarettefun (user info) at 2006-11-30 01:29:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
yup, that just about sums up sex...as a deranged pilot...fuckin right!
Submitted by EdaphonE (user info) at 2006-11-25 09:11:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Brilliant.
Submitted by Girlwithaclue (user info) at 2006-11-03 17:52:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fucking priceless!!
Submitted by Newty (user info) at 2006-11-03 16:55:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
wated to rate this for so long. THIS IS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO FUNNY!
Submitted by ilikeyoghurt (user info) at 2006-10-30 14:26:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Haha! Tooootally.
Submitted by lechuza (user info) at 2006-10-26 00:42:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
that O-face do is handy
Submitted by Maltese (user info) at 2006-10-15 21:41:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
JON'S GIRLFRIEND BROKE UP WITH HIM HA HA HA.
I am telling you this because he told me to fuck off on AIM.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-10-05 16:22:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Don't think I've EVER rated this...
Submitted by mynameisandy (user info) at 2006-10-05 03:39:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Beautifully true.
Submitted by kbs050 (user info) at 2006-10-02 18:36:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Funny shit!
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2006-09-28 01:35:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Don't think I've ever reviewed this.
Submitted by FlakMonkey (user info) at 2006-09-28 01:13:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by iradney (user info) at 2006-09-23 10:13:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
read this about a dozen times
and i wouldn't mind seeing that O face in real life ;)
Submitted by Maltese (user info) at 2006-09-23 09:37:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Auto Jonukah +2
Submitted by JediMasterJambi (user info) at 2006-09-13 04:39:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Kicker of all ass, a title indeed worthy of the plethora of wisdom and knowledge. You good sir, are an Einstein ahead of his time. May you beer be blessed with the touch of Jesus and your stolen 7-11 junk foods enchanted by Budda.
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-08-29 23:53:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Sockster (user info) at 2006-08-23 02:51:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh Jesus Christ.
I think this is the very coolest thing I have ever read.
Submitted by Lianne260987 (user info) at 2006-08-16 05:29:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ive always wanted 2 no what lads were thinkin when they were in bed! i wonder if its true for all lad?
Oh and I totally agree, all I did was type "Bored" in Google and im hooked! It certainly makes my day more interesting.
Submitted by saxon4eva (user info) at 2006-08-14 10:11:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was one of teh first posts that i read on uber so it seemed fitting that i rate this first.
<<<<<<<<FUNNY AS FCUK NO EXCEPTIONS>>>>>>
THANKS TO A quick GOOGLE "Bored at work" I am Now hooked on teh uber. Thank you UBER..and all
posters. You make my work day funny, insightful and in some cases HORNY AS HELL. Thank you one and all.
Submitted by hot_pocket (user info) at 2006-08-10 22:19:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ive read this a million times and not rated it yet
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-07-26 00:26:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I didn't even bring it down .01.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-07-26 00:25:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
-2die
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-07-21 21:16:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No, I don't.
But I'd be happy to stomp on your face a few times...very secretly.
Submitted by Life101 (user info) at 2006-07-21 20:26:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-07-21 20:22:00 (#)
Ranking: -2
This post sucked dick the first time I rated it, back in 1974.
----------------------
Shlongy wants attention everyone!
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-07-21 20:22:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This post sucked dick the first time I rated it, back in 1974.
Submitted by Antioxident (user info) at 2006-07-21 19:35:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
PLUS FUCKING TWO
Submitted by Life101 (user info) at 2006-07-11 17:33:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Still funny every time.
Submitted by t_man69 (user info) at 2006-07-05 04:03:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
still makes me laugh even if i see the title
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2006-06-25 02:58:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If I cum now, will it be too soon" or why guys are quiet in bed (489001 hits)
Submitted by ThineJericho (user info) at 2006-06-25 02:01:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"If I cum now, will it be too soon" or why guys are quiet in bed (499985 hits)
Mmhmm.
Submitted by Bundaberg (user info) at 2006-05-28 09:15:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-05-26 11:39:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"If I cum now, will it be too soon" or why guys are quiet in bed (489001 hits)
Submitted by Lennes (user info) at 2006-05-11 19:22:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I can't say I've yet experianced this. However, I do fit in a lot of practice.
Submitted by SidewinderGunnar (user info) at 2006-05-10 13:28:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Holy fuck that is some funy shit. :D
Submitted by sinna (user info) at 2006-05-10 12:37:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Still funny as hell.
Submitted by a_reader (user info) at 2006-05-10 12:08:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
if you really want this to be number 1 again, it isn't that difficult: just start fucking spamming. call greening, i'm sure that he can get it done.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-04-27 12:31:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.helpwinthisbet.com
Submitted by Hypatia86 (user info) at 2006-04-27 10:24:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah, this was a good post because it made me giggle to think about what men think about for a sex when my boyfriend is fucking me.... I mean... yeah it was funny.
Submitted by Genko (user info) at 2006-04-26 20:25:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2006-04-25 00:10:13 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Genko (user info) at 2006-04-23 22:15:24 (#)
Ranking: 2
The Ultimate MS Paint: It... (677477 hits)
If I cum now, will it be ... (476274 hits)
This post will eventually be #1 again.
_____________________________________________
How do you gather that?
The Ultimate MS Paint is still gaining hits at least twice as fast.
------------------
There was a time when the same could have been said about P2P Networking, kid.
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2006-04-25 00:10:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Genko (user info) at 2006-04-23 22:15:24 (#)
Ranking: 2
The Ultimate MS Paint: It... (677477 hits)
If I cum now, will it be ... (476274 hits)
This post will eventually be #1 again.
_____________________________________________
How do you gather that?
The Ultimate MS Paint is still gaining hits at least twice as fast.
Submitted by Genko (user info) at 2006-04-23 22:15:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The Ultimate MS Paint: It... (677477 hits)
If I cum now, will it be ... (476274 hits)
This post will eventually be #1 again.
Submitted by Webered (user info) at 2006-04-19 16:16:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Maybe the essay, "Sex Ex Machina" is more off than I thought...
Submitted by TimTheBard (user info) at 2006-04-19 16:13:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Scary, but bloody brilliant.
Submitted by DavyJones (user info) at 2006-04-14 01:31:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This will always be my favorite post on Ubersite.
Submitted by sixthlie (user info) at 2006-04-13 12:26:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
its so damn true.
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2006-04-03 14:48:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I think this is an appropriate linkwhore.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/86202
Submitted by Fungah (user info) at 2006-03-22 13:36:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Bow down before me, your new lord and ruler, and serenade me with a beautiful flowing chorus of insults and -2's.
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dlfnsngr;osmtrgo;hwmneo;pj5w93ng[qpgeu8qpw9ju8n9oihv79opuiesgnjh5roq7uieswajnhgaqohwg5 ru9psyu, tsjpi5re xswa u8ioswa0[uoju5qaojtp0om8qaoq5jaqlnhgowsan
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fgrv8gunjltbgruijnokgthb yfioygfijBow down before me, your new lord and ruler, and serenade me with a beautiful flowing chorus of insults and -2's.
dlfnsngr;osmtrgo;hwm neo;pj5w93ng[qpgeu8q jh5roq7uieswajnhgaqohwg 5ru9psyu,tsjpi5rexswau8ioswa0[uoju5qaoj tp0om8qaoq5ja q lnhgowsandlfnsn gr;osmtrgo;hwmne o;pj5w93ng[qpgeu8 qpw9ju8 n9oihv79opuiesgnjh5roq7 uieswajnhgaqoh wg5ru9psy ,tsjpi5rexswau8ioswa0[uoju5qaojtp0om8qaoq5jaqlnhgowsan
dlfnsngr;osmtrgo; hwmneo;p j5w93ng[qpg eu8qpw9ju8n9o hv79opu iesgnjh5ro 7uieswajnhgaqohwg5ru9 psyu,tsjpi5rexswau8ioswa0[uoju5qaojtp0om8qa oq5jaqlnhgowsan
dlfnsngr;osmtrgo;hwmneo;pj5w93ng[qpgeu8qpw9ju8n9oihv79opuiesgnjh5roq7uieswajnhgaqohwg5 ru9psyu, tsjpi5re xswa u8ioswa0[uoju5qaojtp0om8qaoq5jaqlnhgowsan
dlfnsngr;osmtrg o;hwmneo; pj5w 93ng[qpgeu 8qpw9ju8n9oihv79opuiesgnjh5r q7uieswajnhgaqohwg5ru 9psyu,tsjpi5rexswau8 ioswa0[uo ju5 qaojt p0om8qaoq5jaqlnhgowsan
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dlfnsngr;osmtrgo;hwmneo ;pj5w93ng[qpgeu8qpw9ju8n9oihv79opuiesgnjh5roq 7uieswajnhgaqo hwg5ru9psyu,tsjpi5 rex wau8ioswa0[uoju5qaojtp0om8qaoq5jaqlnhgowsan
dvsfahbtrd'lkgbvewsam0ofiimfdohmgods
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jaez ju
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09vnjgi4opwjkmev9fomrfe jngiuoimgrimiofkm0iowremoifj8f irounrfhpn 98h e9pfhw7p9frfe
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fgrv8gunjltbgruijnokgthb yfioygfijBow down before me, your new lord and ruler, and serenade me with a beautiful flowing chorus of insults and -2's.
dlfnsngr;osmtrgo;hwm neo;pj5w93ng[qpgeu8q jh5roq7uieswajnhgaqohwg 5ru9psyu,tsjpi5rexswau8ioswa0[uoju5qaoj tp0om8qaoq5ja q lnhgowsandlfnsn gr;osmtrgo;hwmne o;pj5w93ng[qpgeu8 qpw9ju8 n9oihv79opuiesgnjh5roq7 uieswajnhgaqoh wg5ru9psy ,tsjpi5rexswau8ioswa0[uoju5qaojtp0om8qaoq5jaqlnhgowsan
dlfnsngr;osmtrgo; hwmneo;p j5w93ng[qpg eu8qpw9ju8n9o hv79opu iesgnjh5ro 7uieswajnhgaqohwg5ru9 psyu,tsjpi5rexswau8ioswa0[uoju5qaojtp0om8qa oq5jaqlnhgowsan
dlfnsngr;osmtrgo;hwmneo;pj5w93ng[qpgeu8qpw9ju8n9oihv79opuiesgnjh5roq7uieswajnhgaqohwg5 ru9psyu, tsjpi5re xswa u8ioswa0[uoju5qaojtp0om8qaoq5jaqlnhgowsan
dlfnsngr;osmtrg o;hwmneo; pj5w 93ng[qpgeu 8qpw9ju8n9oihv79opuiesgnjh5r q7uieswajnhgaqohwg5ru 9psyu,tsjpi5rexswau8 ioswa0[uo ju5 qaojt p0om8qaoq5jaqlnhgowsan
dlfnsn gr;osmtrgo;hwmneo;pj5w93ng[qpgeu8qpw9ju8n9oihv79opuiesgnjh5roq7uieswajnhgaqohwg 5ru9psyu,tsjp i5re xswau8io swa0[uoju5qao jtp0om8qaoq5jaqlnhgowsan
dlfnsngr;osmtrgo;hwmneo ;pj5w93ng[qpgeu8qpw9ju8n9oihv79opuiesgnjh5roq 7uieswajnhgaqo hwg5ru9psyu,tsjpi5 rex wau8ioswa0[uoju5qaojtp0om8qaoq5jaqlnhgowsan
dvsfahbtrd'lkgbvewsam0ofiimfdohmgods
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jaez ju
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09vnjgi4opwjkmev9fomrfe jngiuoimgrimiofkm0iowremoifj8f irounrfhpn 98h e9pfhw7p9frfe
fniu34` 8 fh97f8h987jn5iuhf bruyhg089hwuei ojg8vwsnoijvhtis lj8g90h4nwerwjh8g97iewausjhgr7tuinhwjtg08higt
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t5gbrkjkigtjkhigtruijkiwr,f.oir90ouikgdef swouie is oui4w3 qirjkeki8gt9uo4ir8tiuyr gf-08hybvd0uygh3roe vf9i87uigref
fgrv8gunjltbgruijnokgthb yfioygfij
Submitted by a_reader (user info) at 2006-03-20 04:10:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2006-03-07 21:43:46 (#)
Ranking: 2
a_reader: I know... Same for me. I think I just did a terrible thing.
---------------------------------------------------------------
Nah... I was starting to wonder if the MVM would ever fucking change. I kind of appreciate the new look.
Retire now.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-03-14 14:16:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
*the few) post
Fuck it you get the idea bitches.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-03-14 14:15:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The first (and one of the few post) on Uber that really made me laugh.
P2P was on the top for a little while, for some of the same reasons the MS Paint is. But then people lost interest. This will always get hits. It will rise again.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2006-03-12 09:22:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
C'mon guys- a change is as good as a holiday.
Submitted by hairjr (user info) at 2006-03-12 08:05:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2006-03-07 21:43:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
a_reader: I know... Same for me. I think I just did a terrible thing.
Submitted by a_reader (user info) at 2006-03-07 17:47:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This post was #1 when I signed up. For almost a year, I logged onto this damn website, and every day, I was this atop the MVM. Until a few days ago... Thanks a lot, FTW.
Submitted by NerfHerder (user info) at 2006-03-06 17:01:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You're still #1 to me.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-03-03 13:50:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2006-03-03 13:38:40 (#)
Ranking: 2
So this website looks kind of weird without this post as #1...
----
You are now my enemy....
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2006-03-03 13:38:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
So this website looks kind of weird without this post as #1...
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-03-03 12:09:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Chillax (user info) at 2006-03-03 06:56:18 (#)
Ranking: 2
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-03-02 22:04:31 (#)
Ranking: 2
This cannot be overtaken by the Ultimate MSPaint thing.
It just can't. My world couldn't take it.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Find a new world, man.
You'll need one.
-----
*cries emo tears*
It's about to happen. It's so close...
....Dear god no....NOOOOOOOOO!!!!
Submitted by Chillax (user info) at 2006-03-03 06:56:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-03-02 22:04:31 (#)
Ranking: 2
This cannot be overtaken by the Ultimate MSPaint thing.
It just can't. My world couldn't take it.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Find a new world, man.
You'll need one.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2006-03-03 06:21:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is where I popped my Uber-cherry. I will be sad to see it leave the No.1 spot, which is sadly inevitable, much as I dig the MS Paint effort.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-03-02 22:04:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This cannot be overtaken by the Ultimate MSPaint thing.
It just can't. My world couldn't take it.
Submitted by gloop (user info) at 2006-03-02 03:44:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
as said uhh... a year and a half ago by someone else hehe, it reminds me of Woody Allen's "Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex * But Were Afraid to Ask"... which = lol mb
Submitted by xanderd (user info) at 2006-02-27 11:56:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
like the metaphor
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-02-25 09:54:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by kclovebliss (user info) at 2006-02-25 09:21:56 (#)
Ranking: 0
No, that's Definitely jon... that mug is unmistakable... on a sidenote i think you're weird to make an account and say "i think UR cute and funny LOLZ and never post anything"
In short note:
Die
"i think UR cute and funny LOLZ and never post anything"
first of all i didnt say this asshole and i havent decide what to post yet about my wonderfully exciting job in the hotel buisiness yet so why dont you go get fucked and stop trying to make me out to be some drooling horny female i said the guy in the picture was attractive and the fucking dtory made me smile but not that it is any of your buisniess but i am a dyke so fuck off and die p. s. you are rude as hell !!!!! & next time don't tell a redhead to die it tends to piss them off have a great day ;)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Fuckin' A!! The above review is the epitome of the run-on sentence!!
Submitted by kclovebliss (user info) at 2006-02-25 09:21:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No, that's Definitely jon... that mug is unmistakable... on a sidenote i think you're weird to make an account and say "i think UR cute and funny LOLZ and never post anything"
In short note:
Die
"i think UR cute and funny LOLZ and never post anything"
first of all i didnt say this asshole and i havent decide what to post yet about my wonderfully exciting job in the hotel buisiness yet so why dont you go get fucked and stop trying to make me out to be some drooling horny female i said the guy in the picture was attractive and the fucking dtory made me smile but not that it is any of your buisniess but i am a dyke so fuck off and die p. s. you are rude as hell !!!!! & next time don't tell a redhead to die it tends to piss them off have a great day ;)
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-02-24 04:02:16 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I'm a miserable prick.
Submitted by erosion_rules (user info) at 2006-02-24 03:59:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh yeah, forgot to rate.
Submitted by erosion_rules (user info) at 2006-02-24 03:56:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by VelvetElvis (user info) at 2006-02-16 03:43:44 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-02-16 03:04:18 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-06-25 06:28:18 (#)
Ranking: -2
hey look!
More n00bs11!!!1!
/
Cracks me up, the lingo here, nOObs. Son, it'd take one hell of a long tall glass of whiskey for you to even hear my life stories, and that would just be the start. You'd need more than that to hear the full of it. I've seen and done it all, sideways and backward. I've never considered posting such on the internet, I'd be called a liar then I'd have to start posting photos to prove things that I'd rather forget. Just be careful with that term noob. This is a website, nothing more, and 99 per cent of the shit you read hear is bs. Which, if you're smart, you already know.
Now be a wise guy and call what i just wrote bs. It's only right, though you'd be very wrong.
========================================================================
Translation: "I am a condescending prick."
Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2006-02-24 03:39:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by kclovebliss (user info) at 2006-02-21 14:23:56 (#)
Ranking: 1
this absolutly made me smile and i bet you are really sexy when you arem't making that face or is that not even you ? ~bliss
------------------------------------
No, that's Definitely jon... that mug is unmistakable... on a sidenote i think you're weird to make an account and say "i think UR cute and funny LOLZ and never post anything"
In short note:
Die
Submitted by kclovebliss (user info) at 2006-02-21 14:23:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
this absolutly made me smile and i bet you are really sexy when you arem't making that face or is that not even you ? ~bliss
Submitted by rose_child (user info) at 2006-02-21 13:52:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
that was the funniest thing i have ever read...
Submitted by angel_2k01 (user info) at 2006-02-21 10:13:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
an interesting insight into what guys really think about. i always thought they are thinking "oh my god im actually getting laid, yeah baby, I'm a stud". Obviously it's a lot more intellectual than that!
Submitted by XoXFreaksRUsXoX (user info) at 2006-02-21 09:55:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
LMAO!!!!
Submitted by Doberish (user info) at 2006-02-20 23:05:10 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You suck.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/84167
Submitted by VelvetElvis (user info) at 2006-02-16 03:43:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-02-16 03:04:18 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-06-25 06:28:18 (#)
Ranking: -2
hey look!
More n00bs11!!!1!
/
Cracks me up, the lingo here, nOObs. Son, it'd take one hell of a long tall glass of whiskey for you to even hear my life stories, and that would just be the start. You'd need more than that to hear the full of it. I've seen and done it all, sideways and backward. I've never considered posting such on the internet, I'd be called a liar then I'd have to start posting photos to prove things that I'd rather forget. Just be careful with that term noob. This is a website, nothing more, and 99 per cent of the shit you read hear is bs. Which, if you're smart, you already know.
Now be a wise guy and call what i just wrote bs. It's only right, though you'd be very wrong.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-02-16 03:04:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-06-25 06:28:18 (#)
Ranking: -2
hey look!
More n00bs11!!!1!
Submitted by VelvetElvis (user info) at 2006-02-16 02:54:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Very funny, and would be +2 if not for so many hits. What i mean is it wasn't nearly that funny, not close, and your replies were't gold. Still liked, started readinng once before but never finished. You're alot funnier than me , though.
Submitted by Aztune (user info) at 2006-02-09 08:55:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
2 years after it was posted and this one still rates a response.
I read this at work and had to constrict my chest muscles to keep from laughing out loud.
Good stuff.
Submitted by ghost_bite (user info) at 2006-01-31 00:34:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
uhm.. forgot to rate the dayum thing. it's pretty cool, and i wasn't content to let it sit at 0.
Submitted by ghost_bite (user info) at 2006-01-31 00:32:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
lol! i've got to show this to a friend of mine.. she was teasin' me about this exact topic a while ago. no worries ladies, i've learned to think less since then... now i watch the clock (personal record so far... 4 hours! hey, take it easy, i'm still new at the whole "fu#%ing" game..)
Submitted by podium (user info) at 2006-01-13 00:20:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"If I cum now, will it be too soon" or why guys are quiet in bed (420420 hits)
Submitted by fudge_me (user info) at 2006-01-13 00:14:42 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I think guys are quiet because we know how stupid girls sound when they're fucking. Thikning during sex is simply involved too much. You see, it only matters in the intial part of the relationship, after that fuck the bitch and what she thinks. She's only there to keep you happy anyway, cos she knows that if there was no sex she'd lose you.
Submitted by a_reader (user info) at 2006-01-05 04:05:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
There are only 11 users on this entire site who have more hits than this post.
Submitted by Ditka (user info) at 2005-12-29 08:29:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I never thought of this as that great of a post. But it was funny.
Submitted by kimberly (user info) at 2005-12-28 01:32:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i read this when it was first posted, and i still think it's hilarious.
Submitted by refusenik (user info) at 2005-12-23 18:03:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2005-12-19 17:51:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I love this
Submitted by marblefluss (user info) at 2005-12-13 22:41:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Definately the Kicker of All Ass. You pwn. *bows dojo-style*
Submitted by a_reader (user info) at 2005-12-12 19:51:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"If I cum now, will it be too soon" or why guys are quiet in bed (400924 hits)
Over 400k hits.
Submitted by a_reader (user info) at 2005-12-07 23:52:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't think this got enough attention.
Submitted by spig (user info) at 2005-12-04 16:44:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i'd like to think that is v. accurate.not that i actually would know, being a girl and all. i have my reservtions abt how hell bent men actually are on pleasuring women though.i suspect most don't care as much as you...
Submitted by BeavisChrist (user info) at 2005-12-02 04:56:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Brilliant.
Submitted by katianakate (user info) at 2005-11-28 07:19:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Since I finally got permission to actually write stuff and rate stuff after months of reading Uber I always wanted to stick a +2 on this. Thanks for the insight. My boyfriend appreciates my inner knowledge acquired from here and I know better how to get him to hurry the hell up when time is pressured....!
Submitted by randomhero83 (user info) at 2005-11-10 13:25:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
HA HA LINKWHORE!
No, really. CLICK NOW, DAMN YOU!!
http://www.ubersite.com/m/78694
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2005-11-10 13:23:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"If I cum now, will it be too soon" or why guys are quiet in bed (380002 hits)
380,000 hits passed.
Submitted by Mike00295 (user info) at 2005-11-10 13:19:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It's still classic every time I read it.
Submitted by MrHappyPants (user info) at 2005-11-09 14:02:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/78654
Submitted by sizzlemctwizzle (user info) at 2005-11-02 22:30:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I understand the whole thinking, but I don't roll like that. I'm a little different. I can organsim alot so I come when ever I feel like and focus more on making the girl come, I can always come.
Submitted by bitterlemon (user info) at 2005-11-01 06:53:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2005-10-31 07:55:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Auto +2 for all. For me, a n00b, getting on B@W!!
http://www.ubersite.com/m/77872
I love Uber!
Submitted by Chinaski (user info) at 2005-10-30 01:33:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.democracynow.org/article.pl?sid=04/11/09/1526251#transcript
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-10-22 21:01:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
hey, how did this pick up a 90k hit lead on "peer to peer" so fast?
it was behind a few short months ago.
Submitted by a_reader (user info) at 2005-10-18 06:32:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/76836
Anything I can do to get a n00b to read my shit.
Submitted by DanielH (user info) at 2005-10-18 05:40:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The answer remains, and always will remain, yes. Unless you're alone.
Submitted by BiGTiMe.NeRD (user info) at 2005-10-18 05:29:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was awesome.
And the picture was a nice finishing touch.
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2005-10-16 18:41:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
random bob linkwhore
http://www.ubersite.com/m/73270
Submitted by TweakinIan (user info) at 2005-10-16 00:33:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Most definitaley.
+2 for being awesome.
-1 for that picture.
Submitted by coindon (user info) at 2005-10-11 01:17:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Absolutely the most realistic insight into the machinations of the male mind during coitus. Ladies- cosmo has it all wrong; that is what actually happens.
Submitted by tyronnicus (user info) at 2005-10-08 18:19:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Amusing.
Submitted by ipayparis (user info) at 2005-10-01 18:18:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I like to be quite because I don't want to wake up the neihbors. At least not with my voice.
Submitted by Barnymeinhoff (user info) at 2005-09-28 11:26:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Messy facial pics
http://www.ubersite.com/m/74342
Submitted by swamp_donkey (user info) at 2005-09-26 10:05:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Camwhore >>> http://www.ubersite.com/m/75879
Submitted by smokingloon (user info) at 2005-09-12 13:00:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Extra phat props for the pic of an "O-face"
For myself, I'm busy thinking about getting her off AGAIN (multiplied by.....number of times) before I decide it's my time. Then, I think of her younger sister, best friend, a co-worker....basically, anybody hotter. Fellas, ya gotta admit, no matter how hot she is, or even if you love her, you think of someone else at least for a few seconds. (especially if you've been w/ them awhile).
Submitted by tuesdaydelay (user info) at 2005-09-09 13:51:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What the link whore?
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/things.htm
Submitted by shark25 (user info) at 2005-09-08 14:51:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What the Link Whore?
http://www.ubersite.com/m/74769
Submitted by a_reader (user info) at 2005-09-08 08:07:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I have visited the most viewed message...
...and left a LINKWHORE:http://www.ubersite.com/m/71491
Submitted by Chillax (user info) at 2005-09-06 20:13:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-08-23 09:02:57 (#)
Ranking: 2
Frankly I'm surprised at the lack of attention this has received.
Thorpe, you legend.
Submitted by Technoboy (user info) at 2005-09-06 20:07:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
WOMAN: "Get off me, I need to pee"
So I'm not the only one...
Submitted by LaNDmAsS (user info) at 2005-08-27 01:10:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow, you hit on every single point. This is easily one of the most on point theories I have ever
read, and yeah I am drunk, but no matter, because this is amazing.
Good show, ole lad, good show.
Submitted by Jimmy_Esquire (user info) at 2005-08-24 17:44:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Women have it so easy
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-08-24 17:29:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-08-23 09:02:57 (#)
Ranking: 2
Frankly I'm surprised at the lack of attention this has received.
----
yeah look at the hits. pathetic.
Submitted by papaya_princess (user info) at 2005-08-24 17:16:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by pharmgirl147 (user info) at 2005-08-23 15:09:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-08-23 09:02:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Frankly I'm surprised at the lack of attention this has received.
Submitted by Calios (user info) at 2005-08-23 08:49:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Aitsu (user info) at 2005-08-18 19:40:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
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___________M:::::::::::::M88:::::::::::::M:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::MM __________M::::::::::::::8888888888M::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::MM __________M::::::::::::::::8A2theJ8M:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::MM ___________M::::::::::::::::::88W/H8M:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::MM ___________M:::::::::::::::::::88888M::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::MM ___________M::::::::::::::::::::::88M::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::MM ___________M:::::::::::::::::::::::::M::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::MM ___________MM::::::::::::::::::::::M:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::MM ____________M::::::::::::::::::::::M::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::MM ____________MM::::::::::::::::::::M::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::MM _____________M::::::::::::::::::::M:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::MM _____________MM:::::::::::::::::M::::::::::::::::::::::::::::MM ______________M:::::::::::::::::M::::::::::::::::::::::::::MM ______________MM:::::::::::::::M:::::::::::::::::::::::::MM _______________M:::::::::::::::M::::::::::::::::::::::::MM _______________MM::::::::::::M::::::::::::::::::::::::MM ________________M::::::::::::M:::::::::::::::::::::::MM ________________MM::::::::::M::::::::::::::::::::::MM _________________MM::::::::M:::::::::::::::::::::M M _________________MM:::::::M:::::::::::::::::::::MM __________________MM:::::M::::::::::::::::::::MM __________________MM::::M::::::::::::::::::::MM ___________________MM::M:::::::::::::::::::MM
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____________________MMM::::::::::::::::MM
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_____________________M::::::::::::::::MM
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2005-08-17 15:02:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
http://www.ubersite.com/m/73370
PAY YOUR RESPECTS!!!!
http://www.ubersite.com/m/73370
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http://www.ubersite.com/m/73370
PAY YOUR RESPECTS!!!!
http://www.ubersite.com/m/73370
PAY YOUR RESPECTS!!!!
http://www.ubersite.com/m/73370
PAY YOUR RESPECTS!!!!
http://www.ubersite.com/m/73370
PAY YOUR RESPECTS!!!!
http://www.ubersite.com/m/73370
PAY YOUR RESPECTS!!!!
http://www.ubersite.com/m/73370
PAY YOUR RESPECTS!!!!
http://www.ubersite.com/m/73370
PAY YOUR RESPECTS!!!!
http://www.ubersite.com/m/73370
PAY YOUR RESPECTS!!!!
http://www.ubersite.com/m/73370
PAY YOUR RESPECTS!!!!
http://www.ubersite.com/m/73370
PAY YOUR RESPECTS!!!!
http://www.ubersite.com/m/73370
PAY YOUR RESPECTS!!!!
http://www.ubersite.com/m/73370
PAY YOUR RESPECTS!!!!
Submitted by AlexorGM (user info) at 2005-08-13 22:31:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by sg11588 (user info) at 2005-08-13 21:31:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Holy shit, I could have sworn that I rated this.
Submitted by Kindred (user info) at 2005-08-03 02:07:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Bravo
http://www.ubersite.com/m/72348
Submitted by Clawsss (user info) at 2005-07-31 15:21:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah, this wasn't far off.
+2 for accuracy.
I can't believe this has so many damn hits. Must be because of the title.
And no shit, Gendo. Quit trying to ride shirt-tails, you unoriginal bastard.
Submitted by stuckfix (user info) at 2005-07-29 12:55:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You suck gendo, try getting hits by writing good stuff, not submitting repulsive images.
Submitted by Gendo (user info) at 2005-07-28 15:54:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
[garbage deleted by bart]
Submitted by Gendo (user info) at 2005-07-28 15:53:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
[garbage deleted by bart]
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2005-07-26 00:14:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/70277
Submitted by Wallstreet (user info) at 2005-07-11 06:31:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Mommy said this was better
http://www.ubersite.com/m/70288
Submitted by Papercuts (user info) at 2005-07-06 00:06:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ok, not bad. Butt* what does this have to do with AnalMadness '05? http://www.ubersite.com/m/70011
*nooch!
Submitted by NotSteve (user info) at 2005-07-05 21:09:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I want to rate this.
There, all better.
Submitted by chipolatte (user info) at 2005-07-04 18:13:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I wonder if I've ever rated this?
Submitted by jonukah (user info) at 2005-06-29 17:20:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What is Ubersite?
Submitted by crazybutsolazy (user info) at 2005-06-27 22:12:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
lolololol I joined this site just to rate this! fuckin hilarious! My favorite line?? "get up, I have to pee." Every girl I know does that, I died laughing!
Submitted by Pr0j3ct (user info) at 2005-06-27 15:09:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
that picture made me feel kind of gay...
I wonder i Jesus ever made that face?
Submitted by XFile (user info) at 2005-06-25 16:37:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This has been up for ever so long.
It has received the most views.
And now, finally, I step in to rate it.
True awesomeness.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-06-25 06:28:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
hey look!
More n00bs11!!!1!
Submitted by DJ_Schuby (user info) at 2005-06-25 06:03:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dude that kicks ass!
Submitted by The_Lyncher (user info) at 2005-06-22 16:37:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
yeahhhh
http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=1119472492179617259
Submitted by YELLOW-MAN (user info) at 2005-06-15 19:31:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
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yeah..........................
seriously..............
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Came back and it still kicks ass.
Submitted by spidy (user info) at 2005-06-08 20:31:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
BRAIN: "Its out of my control, its in God's hands now"
LMFAO... I joined Uber just to rate this post... it gave me orgasms.
Submitted by Jutsin (user info) at 2005-06-07 03:40:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"BRAIN: 'Pull out and prepare for manual override'"
lol
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-06-04 16:48:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
test: Þ
Submitted by gld1320 (user info) at 2005-05-25 14:04:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
not having ever read that before, it was feakin hilarious
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-05-25 01:32:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Steve: http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?tt=7
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2005-05-25 01:06:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-05-24 08:08:40 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by quack (user info) at 2004-01-10 14:26:04 (#)
Ranking: -2
this was funny the first time, please stop refreshing it..
Most Recently Viewed
1. "If I cum now, will it be ...
2. "If I cum now, will it be ...
3. zzzzzzzzinnnnnnng!
4. "If I cum now, will it be ...
5. "If I cum now, will it be ...
6. Is this real? (semi-work s...
7. "If I cum now, will it be ...
8. "If I cum now, will it be ...
9. "If I cum now, will it be ...
10. "If I cum now, will it be ...
--------------------------------
Holy shit - there was a "Most Recently Viewed" board??? Bartbart should bring it back just for a day to see how quickly it crashes the site...
YES! I KNEW I wasn't the only one that remembered that!
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-05-24 08:08:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by quack (user info) at 2004-01-10 14:26:04 (#)
Ranking: -2
this was funny the first time, please stop refreshing it..
Most Recently Viewed
1. "If I cum now, will it be ...
2. "If I cum now, will it be ...
3. zzzzzzzzinnnnnnng!
4. "If I cum now, will it be ...
5. "If I cum now, will it be ...
6. Is this real? (semi-work s...
7. "If I cum now, will it be ...
8. "If I cum now, will it be ...
9. "If I cum now, will it be ...
10. "If I cum now, will it be ...
--------------------------------
Holy shit - there was a "Most Recently Viewed" board??? Bartbart should bring it back just for a day to see how quickly it crashes the site...
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-05-24 07:57:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Jonukah has 2394 facial hairs.
Submitted by AntiThesis (user info) at 2005-05-24 07:48:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Awsome :) Laughed my ass off.
Submitted by tunafizzle (user info) at 2005-05-20 12:50:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-05-18 18:13:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
4000 hits in 5 days.
Submitted by YELLOW-MAN (user info) at 2005-05-18 18:08:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
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yeah..........................
seriously..............
Submitted by Spuds002 (user info) at 2005-05-17 19:24:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
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Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-05-13 04:11:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
(268625 hits)
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2005-05-13 03:52:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Are you one of these morons who not only have horrible English, which isn't a big deal, but gets mad at people who have good English and calls them stupid?
Submitted by YELLOW-MAN (user info) at 2005-05-09 22:06:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
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Yeah this is awesome man
Submitted by YELLOW-MAN (user info) at 2005-05-09 22:05:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
888888888888888888888888888888888
88888___88888888888888888___88888
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Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-04-29 20:06:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good to see this back out in front.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-04-26 09:41:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/40406
http://www.ubersite.com/m/40129
Submitted by Corkers (user info) at 2005-04-26 07:31:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was absolutely wonderful.
Submitted by baking_Lady (user info) at 2005-04-23 04:08:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Bayley (user info) at 2005-04-21 19:11:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
huh-la-ri-ous!!!
Submitted by entropy (user info) at 2005-04-17 00:48:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
fevuh before peer to peer was written this WAS no. 1
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-04-17 00:24:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-04-01 04:17:50 (#)
Ranking: 0
There is no way this has been pushed up by popularity alone.
Somebody is using F5. Last night it was 300 hits ahead - now it's 1000.
Hitwhoring bastard, whoever's doing it.
----------------------------------------
10000 ahead now I see... hmm... that guy using F5 must have a really sore finger.
Submitted by Morlock (user info) at 2005-04-15 16:42:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
*Stands giving loud applause while wiping a single tear*
Bravo my good man, bravo.
Submitted by Libra (user info) at 2005-04-14 19:26:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
might be the funniest thing on the site
Submitted by Govt_is_Good (user info) at 2005-04-13 08:49:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The only reason this is hilarious is because I have a friend that looks just like that guy in the picture...or maybe it is him?!? You be the judge.
<img src="http://www.geocities.com/fourlapsfourbeers/jonhline.jpg">
![http://www.geocities.com/fourlapsfourbeers/jonhline.jpg">](http://www.geocities.com/fourlapsfourbeers/jonhline.jpg">){kind=link}
Submitted by BoogieFevuh (user info) at 2005-04-12 16:54:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
About time this became number one!
Submitted by GroundHogSlayer (user info) at 2005-04-11 12:01:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The picture is what makes it classic.
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2005-04-09 20:08:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This just screams "James Joyce"
Submitted by DerivableZero (user info) at 2005-04-09 15:58:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I can honestly say that this was really, really funny. And all too true. My boyfriend and I had this discussion the other day.
Your brains are similar. :)
Submitted by AlainParis (user info) at 2005-04-06 04:11:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
brilliant.
to share with friends (especially female), which I did : we are about to create a fan club to celebrate this guy ! closer to Limp Bizkit than to Supertramp...
Submitted by Bamboozled (user info) at 2005-04-05 23:32:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The description of a +2 is dead-on in this case. (Kicker of all ass)
All it takes is a link in a chatroom to make people look.
Trust me on this.
Submitted by tuesdaydelay (user info) at 2005-04-03 07:03:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/63347
Submitted by OctopusDeathGrip (user info) at 2005-04-03 04:55:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Goddamn. Thats a disturbing photo. I say end it now. Is that what we are talking about. You'r rambling means nothing to me or anyone. I'll go on without you- Regards, O
Submitted by canadia (user info) at 2005-04-01 16:26:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
who knew?
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-04-01 04:17:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
There is no way this has been pushed up by popularity alone.
Somebody is using F5. Last night it was 300 hits ahead - now it's 1000.
Hitwhoring bastard, whoever's doing it.
Submitted by Scatherm (user info) at 2005-03-31 18:42:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Amazing.
Submitted by NightTrain (user info) at 2005-03-30 22:33:29 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/63053
http://www.ubersite.com/m/63053
http://www.ubersite.com/m/63053
http://www.ubersite.com/m/63053
http://www.ubersite.com/m/63053
http://www.ubersite.com/m/63053
http://www.ubersite.com/m/63053
http://www.ubersite.com/m/63053
http://www.ubersite.com/m/63053
http://www.ubersite.com/m/63053
http://www.ubersite.com/m/63053
http://www.ubersite.com/m/63053
http://www.ubersite.com/m/63053
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2005-03-30 17:27:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for being Number 1.
Submitted by lucid (user info) at 2005-03-30 17:18:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by jonukah (user info) at 2005-03-30 17:18:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
And there was great rejoicing.
Submitted by Yes (user info) at 2005-03-30 16:48:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
back on top!
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-03-30 16:46:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by dudaculb (user info) at 2005-03-30 16:39:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Amazing great so true
http://www.FreePSPs.com/?r=16768803
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-03-30 11:32:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
One more hit to get this to #1.
Submitted by agentdunken (user info) at 2005-03-30 00:53:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by DanielH (user info) at 2005-03-28 07:23:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
. . . or why guys are quiet in bed: http://www.ubersite.com/m/59387
Submitted by SiskelandFatboy (user info) at 2005-03-25 18:25:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
COMPUTER: AUTO PILOT ENGAGED
BRAIN: "NO! UNENGAGE! UNENGAGE!"
Now that is good family entertainment! I almost pissed myself upon reaching this line!
Submitted by AwesomeJohnson (user info) at 2005-03-23 16:20:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
it made it to here
http://www.network54.com/Forum/thread?forumid=197189&messageid=1111602026&lp=1111612056
don't ask me how i got there.
Submitted by HeavierThanHeaven (user info) at 2005-03-23 09:17:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
this is god damn funny lol, definately kicker of all ass
Submitted by mad_scientist (user info) at 2005-03-22 22:28:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I always wondered what that face meant.. thanks for enlightening me!
Submitted by PokerIsMyLife (user info) at 2005-03-09 06:00:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Proof Jesus never had sex.
Submitted by m0ke34 (user info) at 2005-03-08 17:23:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't know if this is original. That seems to be debatable...but if it is, it's worth a +5, so +2
Submitted by Stengah (user info) at 2005-03-08 16:14:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by golddustwoman009 (user info) at 2005-03-04 00:14:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
oooohhhhhhh
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2005-02-28 01:15:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/60787
Submitted by ArlenJames (user info) at 2005-02-26 04:06:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Very humorous.
Submitted by nunga-nunga (user info) at 2005-02-24 15:22:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
okay so im not the only person who thinks guys make unny faces in bed. makes me want to laugh sometimes.
+2 on your brave honesty
Submitted by funk_boy (user info) at 2005-02-24 09:21:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by MoneyG (user info) at 2005-02-22 03:35:16 (#)
Ranking: 2
Actually, I just wanted to know how many +2's it would take to increase the decimal percentage of a post that borders on 1.68 with well over a thousand ratings. Actually, it would be better to judge this going the other way, but I wouldn't want to give you the negative points.
You sound fun
Submitted by MoneyG (user info) at 2005-02-22 03:35:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Actually, I just wanted to know how many +2's it would take to increase the decimal percentage of a post that borders on 1.68 with well over a thousand ratings. Actually, it would be better to judge this going the other way, but I wouldn't want to give you the negative points.
Submitted by MoneyG (user info) at 2005-02-22 03:33:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Jo_of_the_golden_P (user info) at 2005-02-21 23:59:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I can't believe I've been on Uber all this time and never read this
Submitted by stinkowicz (user info) at 2005-02-21 14:22:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I thought it was funny...
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2005-02-20 19:27:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
funney
Submitted by urbaneruralite (user info) at 2005-02-20 19:19:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Naery (user info) at 2005-02-17 04:48:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
unbelievable brilliance. I can't beleive I haven't rated this already on one of my 20+ stops here. Yeah, 20+. I come here when I am really bored at work. Hmm...bored at work. tehe tehe.
Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2005-02-17 04:24:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
holy fuck this will eventually take down p2p
Submitted by mrgimp (user info) at 2005-02-14 15:11:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I read this to my girlfriend she thought that it was the funniest thing ever.
Submitted by SelfRighteousPorkchop (user info) at 2005-01-29 17:56:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm still laughing. The picture makes it all the better.
Submitted by CrazyBrows (user info) at 2005-01-24 11:19:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is the greatest story ever written...holy shit I laughed my ass off.
Submitted by briancte (user info) at 2005-01-23 18:53:32 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
link whore http://clicktoexit.net
Submitted by KBCommando (user info) at 2005-01-17 11:55:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is my OH face. OH OH OH. HAHA! Funny. I think girls have similar thoughts. I am going home to have sex on my lunch break...I'll let you know what kind of OH face I see... :P
Submitted by mazman23 (user info) at 2005-01-17 11:30:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This should clear things up
http://www.ubersite.com/m/56905
Submitted by electricmike (user info) at 2005-01-17 08:38:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
to soon to go off
process must be stopped
before its too late
but how?
emergency shutdown procedure activated
what was yankees team batting average last year ?
where was it ranked in the division ?
how about bullpen e.r.a ?
strikeout to walk ratio ?
ok, pressure released and just in time!!!
Submitted by erbgor (user info) at 2005-01-12 20:05:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Pretty good.
Submitted by Socialist_Joe (user info) at 2005-01-07 22:05:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
gets better every time
Submitted by tlozoot (user info) at 2005-01-07 21:10:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
200k
Submitted by ChannelDunlap (user info) at 2004-12-28 06:20:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2, in case i hadn't allready.
Submitted by Lyric (user info) at 2004-12-23 03:34:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Reread this for the millionth time...
Yup. It's still gold.
Submitted by bluesmaster (user info) at 2004-12-17 09:02:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Very clever. I liked the dialogue.
Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2004-12-16 23:38:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Wait, I meant http://www.ubersite.com/m/53924
Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2004-12-16 23:26:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I can relate: http://www.ubersite.com/m/53601
Submitted by Faith (user info) at 2004-12-16 10:27:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Now I know how to annoy my boyfriend, THANKS! ;)
Submitted by hellacious (user info) at 2004-12-15 22:36:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Props...
Submitted by ze_poodle (user info) at 2004-12-15 15:39:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Classic.
Submitted by jujube (user info) at 2004-11-26 12:31:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hahaha mein!
Submitted by Shaun_Rocks (user info) at 2004-11-22 23:12:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Truly, this man was the son of god
Submitted by cushdybernard (user info) at 2004-11-22 09:33:54 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
ok man i dont like you way of thinking:P
Submitted by TheFrogKing (user info) at 2004-11-18 11:17:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"Pull out and prepare for manual override"
now that is fucking funny
Submitted by immygirl1 (user info) at 2004-11-14 18:05:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
U R A SIK FUK
Submitted by straightshooter (user info) at 2004-11-14 00:55:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
well written, but geez, maybe you should enjoy it more and not think so damn hard during.
Submitted by Bored_Secretary at 2004-11-10 12:07:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That was fucking funny! I pissed my self reading that. For the record, girls think about technique, but the difficulty of blowing too soon is not so much of an issue
My general thoughts are
'I should move more, now he's shuddering, he likes that? would do it more but my legs are
fucking tired. can I move back below now? God I wish he would shave more I'm getting a rash.
We should slow down I am getting way too sweaty, and I have to see his family in ten minutes,
bet my mascara is running. ow, make up in my eyes, fucking stings, must change brands.
Ok, think things are winding up, few more pumps should do it, throw back head, make a bit more
noise, squeeze harder, begin to shake a bit and grip his nipples....and we're done.'
Submitted by Pringles4eva (user info) at 2004-11-09 23:14:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/38535
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2004-11-09 07:52:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck i never noticed O faces were so similar...
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-11-08 23:45:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.freephotoiPods.com/?r=11667665
Submitted by action_man (user info) at 2004-11-08 02:35:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Pure Gold
Submitted by UlfGabe (user info) at 2004-11-04 18:36:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
shameless hitwhoring posts
http://www.ubersite.com/m/50486 http://www.ubersite.com/m/50081
http://www.ubersite.com/m/50431 http://www.ubersite.com/m/49955
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http://www.ubersite.com/m/50081 http://www.ubersite.com/m/48749
http://www.ubersite.com/m/48342 http://www.ubersite.com/m/45751
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http://www.ubersite.com/m/37406 http://www.ubersite.com/m/42781
http://www.ubersite.com/m/42835 http://www.ubersite.com/m/43008
Submitted by Fish3000 (user info) at 2004-11-02 02:11:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/50338
Submitted by Raven <.......> at 2004-10-29 00:11:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
wo0t wo0t
Submitted by Porkster331 at 2004-10-27 16:35:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHA, YES!! I'm not alone!
Submitted by JesusNazi (user info) at 2004-10-26 00:43:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
squattail
Skinner, John
1225 Westmeade Dr
Bowling Green, KY 42101-1954
(270) 393-8931
quagmire/stabkill
White, T
4465 Oakdale Dr
Green Bay, WI 54313-8611
(920) 434-7102
koolmang
Rocha, E R
190 Dudley
Thornhill, ON L3T 2G1
(905) 762-8909
degreeless
Stevens, A
8313 Peach Blossom Ln
Evansville, IN 47715-6289
(812) 471-2710
Submitted by Pringles4eva (user info) at 2004-10-25 02:40:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/45753
Submitted by BiGTiMe NeRD <canigetawhawhawha.at.yahoo.com> at 2004-10-22 09:50:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was really fucking good.
Submitted by Jerems (user info) at 2004-10-20 21:42:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Definitley worth my time reading.
Submitted by Holoman (user info) at 2004-10-18 21:02:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
(tear) makes me wish I wasn't a virgin.
Submitted by countach <countach5.at.hotmail.com> at 2004-10-18 07:58:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Enormeus
Submitted by original_cola (user info) at 2004-10-15 20:35:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
link whore and a +2
www.aolsux.us
Submitted by Tigre (user info) at 2004-10-11 04:50:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You're a beautiful man..with a beautiful post.
Submitted by Holoman (user info) at 2004-10-10 18:57:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh man that's sick!
Submitted by eQj713 (user info) at 2004-10-09 23:15:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was hysterical! Definitely had a similar conversation the other night.
Submitted by Fenchurch (user info) at 2004-10-09 15:39:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hhahahaha...
Submitted by Rebekah at 2004-10-07 13:54:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i thought this was great, i've always wondered what my fiance was thinking, and i really want everyone to realize that i'm a girl and i find this the best sex joke i've heard in a long time i loved it!!!
p.s.-to correct one thing...for the most part when a girl moves, it's cuz she likes it...unless it's AWAY from you...
Submitted by Stauquin (user info) at 2004-10-07 13:51:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by letpandasdie (user info) at 2004-10-07 13:13:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wrong. Very Wrong. Nuff said.
fancy a laugh? look at http://www.letpandasdie.com
Submitted by jack <finkel@finkel> at 2004-10-05 00:24:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Rookie
Submitted by Spiral_Abraxis (user info) at 2004-10-03 23:59:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This post is actually starting to gain on Tom's P2P post....
Submitted by cheesedick (user info) at 2004-10-01 07:55:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I have seen this before or something very similar, i have definitley seen the pic before.
+1 for amusing me though
Submitted by Boothy (user info) at 2004-09-30 15:27:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Funniest. Post. Ever.
Submitted by Xile (user info) at 2004-09-28 16:05:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Thebeatlesrock (user info) at 2004-09-27 22:07:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahaha dude this is so funny...
Submitted by Diavolina24 (user info) at 2004-09-26 19:12:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
(Omg, I pee'd my pants.)
Thank you for clearing that up for all the women out there ;)
Submitted by bargled (user info) at 2004-09-23 16:18:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
if you like this, you'll love http://www.ubersite.com/m/45753
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2004-09-23 10:06:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/43102
http://www.ubersite.com/m/43102
http://www.ubersite.com/m/43102
http://www.ubersite.com/m/43102
http://www.ubersite.com/m/43102
http://www.ubersite.com/m/43102
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http://www.ubersite.com/m/43102
http://www.ubersite.com/m/43102
http://www.ubersite.com/m/43102
http://www.ubersite.com/m/43102
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http://www.ubersite.com/m/43102
http://www.ubersite.com/m/43102
Submitted by tuesdaydelay (user info) at 2004-09-23 09:44:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
http://www.ubersite.com/m/45881
Submitted by Fish3000 (user info) at 2004-09-22 00:03:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Amen, brother, amen.
Submitted by AnimeAddict (user info) at 2004-09-14 17:11:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Very Enlightening.
Submitted by insomina_666 (user info) at 2004-09-13 06:03:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by slap_happy (user info) at 2004-09-10 00:12:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
AWESOME!!!!!
Submitted by jzuska (user info) at 2004-09-09 10:09:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
OMFG, That was an awesome post. Right on the money (shot).
Wish I could just lie there and get fucked. wait, isnt that pretty much what a blowjob is, or cowgirl/reverse cowgirl?
Submitted by Disco_Inferno (user info) at 2004-09-08 11:41:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Best...post...ever
Submitted by cshape (user info) at 2004-09-06 03:07:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
title = yes. always,
Submitted by RamJetMax (user info) at 2004-09-02 17:44:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by VitoCotroni (user info) at 2004-08-31 03:03:02 (#)
Ranking: -2
You stole that from a web-site you dip-shit!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Most likely some web-site stole that from him, dillox.
Submitted by kingjc (user info) at 2004-09-02 16:24:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
spot on! I know exactly what you mean. You want to please so much that you soley focus on your ladies sounds, looks, breathing and skin colour changes. Its like playing a musical instrument, you need to play the right notes by pushing the right buttons, in time.
Fortunatly, useally it becomes easier as you learn the notes better. All of a sudden, chop sticks is a peice of cake reserved for when you have 5 minutes in a loo or fancy a quickie. WHere as a concerto, which did look impossible becomes possible with time and the right conditions.
Oh and it's even bette when you are with someone who you don't have to think about this because you know whatever you do, they will enjoy that. It's happened once, I hope it does again!
Submitted by happiness_is_blinking (user info) at 2004-09-01 19:53:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
it would have been better with sound effects...
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-09-01 17:03:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
catching up
Submitted by whatever at 2004-08-31 09:11:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ill never ask that question again!!!!
Submitted by Angel_of_Death (user info) at 2004-08-31 08:37:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
absolute classic
Submitted by BoogieFevuh (user info) at 2004-08-31 03:18:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
And where's your proof he did? Give us a link before making accusations.
This +2 is because I never got around to rating this one.
Submitted by VitoCotroni (user info) at 2004-08-31 03:03:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You stole that from a web-site you dip-shit!
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2004-08-30 14:25:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Phlegm
Submitted by Amber <boring_sly_cap.at.yahoo.com> at 2004-08-28 00:50:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i just about pissed my pants reading this hilarius i love reading goofy stuff like that thanks man ha
Submitted by ToxicNarcotic (user info) at 2004-08-22 14:50:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
wow
Submitted by now_thats_doom (user info) at 2004-08-21 05:50:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm sorry but that was just too funny, true too, but mostly funny. Ah cummon, women don't notice if you mess up...do they? I dunno I'm usually with men...suuuure...I'm not gay! Boo-freakin-hoo mwahaha!
Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2004-08-18 17:46:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/31438
Submitted by perfectlyugly <pakifier.at.yahoo.com> at 2004-08-17 04:04:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Finally someone that understands!! Keep Up the great posts.
Submitted by pharmgirl147 (user info) at 2004-08-16 01:44:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
**Submitted by stone <x_x_x_stone_x_x_x.at.yahoo.com> at 2004-08-11 15:12:16 (#)
Ranking: 2
good piece, and pharmgirl... Damn! We need to hookup!**
lol, don't think my boyfriend would like that too terribly much :D
Submitted by Mellow (user info) at 2004-08-16 00:03:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Pretty funny.
Submitted by Goddess <agoddessmommy.at.yahoo.com> at 2004-08-13 11:28:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I loved this but maybe its just me but I tend to take over during sex. He needs to know that i want it HARD,men try to hard to be sweet. This was funny as hell though.
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2004-08-12 08:20:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That simply kicks ass... I don't know how many times i've said it.
Submitted by stone <x_x_x_stone_x_x_x.at.yahoo.com> at 2004-08-11 15:12:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
good piece, and pharmgirl... Damn! We need to hookup!
Submitted by devarajan <dev2610.at.sify.com> at 2004-08-11 08:08:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
best among the rest
Submitted by heater (user info) at 2004-08-10 18:01:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This definitely deserves Heat.
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-08-09 03:57:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah, it's him all right!
Submitted by rpdb1111 (user info) at 2004-08-09 03:08:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Is that You in the pic?
Submitted by Smithstudd (user info) at 2004-08-08 00:45:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Whats the easiest way to tell if your woman just came.................................................... who cares!heh he good story
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-08-07 06:30:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Crap
Submitted by Scott_James (user info) at 2004-08-04 17:14:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by ImRickJamesBitch (user info) at 2004-08-04 03:21:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You think to much! Just drop the hammer! and say "I'm Rick James Bitch"!!!!!!!
Submitted by pharmgirl147 (user info) at 2004-08-03 21:30:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't know what other girls are thinking, but I'm mostly thinking of tricks to make it even better for him (such as legs crossed up on his chest), inbetween trying to actually be able to think... I have a lot of Os, I do have to say... usual is somewhere around 5 or six per time... and if I do it more than once in a day... then that number doubles. I've had problems where I pass out because I've cum too much...
Great piece :D it was hilarious :D
Submitted by Wow <Neojester.at.dbzmail.com> at 2004-08-02 03:46:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You look like Dustin Diamond had a freak baby with Jesus
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-08-01 16:27:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.FreeFlatScreens.com/default.aspx?referer=7584498
Free flat screen monitor or TV! Just sign up for eBay on the requirements page, place a bid (doesn't even have to be a winning bid), and get 8 friends to do the same! Don't forget to verify your email on the 'My Account' page.
FREE SHIT WOO
Submitted by Ed_0150 (user info) at 2004-08-01 09:49:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Mifuyne (user info) at 2004-07-31 15:11:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If the picture wasn't so big.
Anyway, I think I'm on the same boat as most guys. When I give a guy a blow job or a hand job, I worry that I'm doing a horrible job.
I wouldn't fake anything either...I wouldn't get anything out of it if I did.
NotApologizing, in my opinion, you're right. I've told a friend of mine that if he wants a threesome with me he'll have to find a really passive girl.
Submitted by mjt7420 (user info) at 2004-07-29 16:43:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
-2 for the picture, but +4 for the post. I'm really curious if girls are thinking as much during sex.
Submitted by bite this <halcyon2600.at.yahoo.com> at 2004-07-29 13:28:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
well.. you have certainly made it clear that your sex is undesirable.
Submitted by Walsareck (user info) at 2004-07-29 06:32:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hmm... How interesting. Is your computer a Pentium or a 486?
Submitted by pinky10985 (user info) at 2004-07-28 13:46:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is fucking hilarious!!
could do without the picture though.... makes me want a hot dog for some reason... lol jk
Submitted by WallFlower (user info) at 2004-07-25 11:50:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Made me blush...
Submitted by prankster (user info) at 2004-07-25 03:19:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
BRAVO...BRAVO...BRAVO...BRAVOOOO...OOPS HERE IT COMES....AHHHH!!! DID YOU FEEL THAT...HAHAHAHA
Submitted by Tex (user info) at 2004-07-21 21:32:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hahahaha! gave me a good laugh man.
Submitted by didalily <didalily.at.yahoo.com> at 2004-07-21 05:14:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
penis size
Submitted by Fuckedup (user info) at 2004-07-18 20:15:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The girls better appreciate how hard we work!
Submitted by Mish at 2004-07-15 06:33:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That picture rocks, thanks for cleaning up the face and thought process.
Submitted by freedomdoeasntexist (user info) at 2004-07-14 09:07:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hey at least guys use their brain for something
Submitted by munado at 2004-07-13 23:31:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
How strange. I was going to say the same thing.
Oh well, thanks for clipping your nose hairs for the photo.
Submitted by CoachMagirk (user info) at 2004-07-05 17:30:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Marvelous. Good show.
Love,
Peepoepoewitz
Submitted by boredinmemind (user info) at 2004-07-02 00:11:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
this is the best post i have read in a long time great post
Submitted by EvilRaff (user info) at 2004-07-01 19:57:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fucking spot on.
Submitted by FyodorRomanov (user info) at 2004-07-01 11:52:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fucking awesome. You should be a psychiatrist.
Submitted by confusedfemale (user info) at 2004-06-30 20:32:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Now that was fuck plain fucking amazing (no pun intended). Now the question is, do girls think like that?
Submitted by busy (user info) at 2004-06-30 00:54:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 because uh, it's only HILARIOUS
Submitted by Scotsman (user info) at 2004-06-29 05:49:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I have looked at this a few times....it is just so funny!!!
Submitted by Mirabstract (user info) at 2004-06-28 21:45:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuckin' great.
WOMAN: "What are you doing?"
BRAIN: "Mayday! Mayday!"
BRAIN: "Decrease Velocity!"
^ My fav part. Made me laugh for about 5 minutes. Plus 2!!
-Miranda
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-06-27 18:57:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
no way... is this true??
Submitted by Ferretnose (user info) at 2004-06-27 00:49:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
As soon as I saw this, I went running to my hubby to seek confirmation. He told me that this was true. However, he also said that the more you are with that same person, the less you have to think, and then you can get down to the really dirty stuff and not worry about thinking. I think I know what that means, but I won't flatter myself.
Submitted by Alfa_Veloce (user info) at 2004-06-26 01:46:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by TripWire (user info) at 2004-06-24 21:54:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
wow simply amazing. that was great, never laughed so hard in my life!
Submitted by Atticus (user info) at 2004-06-23 03:32:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I wish this site had an option for +1000000000
That was great.
Submitted by Tom <Meatwad00.at.hotmail.com> at 2004-06-20 20:48:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Jon Elkins for president.
Submitted by Roni <ojosasii.at.hotmail.com> at 2004-06-19 16:46:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
wow i thought i was the only one having those lil voices in my head syyyykkke im not like yooOo
it was funny =) hehe
Submitted by theend at 2004-06-14 23:31:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Everything You Wanted To Know About Sex But Were Too Afraid To Ask
Woody Allen movie. Watch it. See the ripoff?
Submitted by Ruthy (user info) at 2004-06-09 16:23:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'd always wondered about that, I might laugh next time I have sex just thinking about it. The 'get off me I need a wee' bit was so true.
Submitted by xfilthxinfusedxwithxfilth (user info) at 2004-06-08 14:43:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fucking hilarious...
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2004-06-08 01:57:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
We have solved this problem we simply have sex twice. He comes the first time and we both cum the second. Everyone is happy.
Submitted by emoerotica <natjelly.at.aol.com> at 2004-06-04 12:04:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Now i understand .. male sex faces make all kinds of sence now .. thankyou !!
Submitted by viking axe at 2004-06-03 17:17:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
genius
Submitted by olly <genius.at.hotmail.com> at 2004-06-03 04:13:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
rofl
Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2004-06-03 00:55:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This post is so high-quality it hurts me deep inside.
Submitted by DarkWraith (user info) at 2004-06-01 17:38:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Awesome post.
Never, ever, post that picture again. Some of us have over imaginative brains.
Submitted by Ashleigh <xFOALx15.at.yahoo.com> at 2004-06-01 13:50:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
that was awesome!!!
Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2004-06-01 01:00:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by finfan3 (user info) at 2004-05-27 13:39:39 (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahahaha, holy shit, that's awesome. If only girls knew... ;) WoW, seriously, that's wicked great. See, women know that it's wayy to easy to please a guy. Guys know better than to assume that about a woman. :P
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
He said wicked.... thus he's from New England... rock on!
Submitted by jarjarbinks (user info) at 2004-05-31 22:39:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Man...that was SOOOOO funny...and TRUE! Funniest thing I've read on Ubersite in a while!!
Submitted by insanedoc (user info) at 2004-05-31 18:33:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is so funny!
Submitted by mikethescottish (user info) at 2004-05-31 16:38:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This still makes me laugh. That pic is priceless.
Submitted by peyotesands (user info) at 2004-05-31 11:56:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
shrink the picture down. It's disturbingly large.
Submitted by Spiral_Abraxis (user info) at 2004-05-30 22:53:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Broke the 100k barrier.
Good job.
Submitted by DarkDevil (user info) at 2004-05-27 15:54:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yea, i can't remember much of my first time, i was a little drunk on beer and anti-depressants, but i do recall that part. When it was over and she commented on it i said "So that was what... 5 minutes?"
Submitted by finfan3 (user info) at 2004-05-27 13:39:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahahaha, holy shit, that's awesome. If only girls knew... ;) WoW, seriously, that's wicked great. See, women know that it's wayy to easy to please a guy. Guys know better than to assume that about a woman. :P
Submitted by nestorm4 (user info) at 2004-05-26 17:31:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Fantastic, super funny, rock on bro"
.......5 stars................
Submitted by Hellificared (user info) at 2004-05-25 20:57:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Pure fucking Genius you brought me to tears reading this
Submitted by Ccenzo (user info) at 2004-05-25 09:31:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is easily the best thing i've read so far.
Submitted by schulte123 (user info) at 2004-05-22 03:09:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
this is the funniest thing on ubersite so far....
Submitted by voodoochild (user info) at 2004-05-21 06:00:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I've read this like 6 times, and it's still hilarious.
Submitted by legallady (user info) at 2004-05-20 12:59:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
still laughing.
Submitted by indigogecko (user info) at 2004-05-19 12:51:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Good to know... Should I be taking notes? Well written too.
Submitted by Val (user info) at 2004-05-18 23:48:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
So... since guys make the "thinking face" when they orgasm, does that mean they're thinking really hard when they're pooping?
...hypothetically speaking, of course.
Submitted by SUKIE (user info) at 2004-05-12 10:04:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
IF THAT IS YOU IN THE PICTURE, YOU ARE VERY HANDSOME... ;) ALL I
WANT TO KNOW IS, DID YOUR TOES CURL??? LOLOL FOR SOME REASON MOST MALES DO.
MY GIRLFRIEND'S AND I HAVE DICUSSED THIS TOPIC MANY TIMES.. BRINGS US TO TEARS
WE LAUGH SO HARD!!!! EXCELLENT POST!
Submitted by BoogieFevuh (user info) at 2004-05-11 17:15:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"This really sucks. You are a sicko."
hahaha virgin ;)
man, this post is so true. my sides are still hurting from laughing so much.
Submitted by Arla (user info) at 2004-05-11 13:30:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You did a great job.
I always wondered... You answered my question.
I keep seeing male answers. Where are all the female pervs?
Submitted by OfficinSkeelz (user info) at 2004-05-10 23:07:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I can completely relate to the story, though I can't really say the same about that picture. Yikes.
Submitted by Tubby Smith <TS.at.KY.edu> at 2004-05-09 20:09:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This really sucks. You are a sicko.
Submitted by Sommiel (user info) at 2004-05-08 13:56:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
OK, I admit it. Now, I am really depressed.
I read this, and asked my significant other if this was true and he said "pretty much." This post needs to be taken down immediately, if women get their hands on it all hell will break lose. As it is now, I may never have sex again. I thought it was some romantical adventure, or some animal behavior... But NO.
I am booking my room at the convent as we speak.
Submitted by seaswallowme (user info) at 2004-05-08 12:07:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Text +2, visage -1. Suggest you submit to www.beautifulagony.com (the cumface, not the story).
Submitted by njdk (user info) at 2004-05-04 22:10:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Dude, I do NOT need to see a picture of you coming. The horrible, graphic detail of your post was sufficient.
Submitted by Dufflady (user info) at 2004-05-01 17:05:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oops-http://www.ubersite.com/m/31722
Submitted by Dufflady (user info) at 2004-05-01 16:50:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"Every once in a while I nail a girl who cares enough to get on top and ride me like a donkey, but too many of them just lie back and enjoy the ride."
Not ALL of them just lie there. For a womans point of view:
www.ubersite.com/m/31722
Submitted by Rachel <kissmeoxo.at.yahoo.com> at 2004-05-01 16:27:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good stuff.
Submitted by natedog at 2004-05-01 12:19:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
A desperate attempt to keep up with the originality and writing skillz of the truly creative and infamous ,,,, TOM. You and your subject is the blunt of his joke. In other words, he used the idea for humor, you used it for hits. Pathetic
Submitted by Dr. Hardcrab <drhardcrab.at.hotmail.spamcom> at 2004-05-01 11:46:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is not the best breakfast I have ever had......
Submitted by modusjoe (user info) at 2004-05-01 10:45:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Your post is hilarious, yet contains a strange truth and irony.
Submitted by faggot <nice.at.one.com> at 2004-04-30 03:46:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Damn that face is one sweet piece of ass
nice work
Submitted by Spookster (user info) at 2004-04-30 01:37:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Probably the funniest thing I've read for ages.
"It's in God's hands now"
Classic.
Submitted by tuesdaydelay (user info) at 2004-04-29 12:57:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=1081780729576519201
The German version.
Submitted by lilbill87 (user info) at 2004-04-26 20:39:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
great post! picture is hilarious! +2 for you
Submitted by Jediknght (user info) at 2004-04-25 20:54:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
its funny becuase its true, awesome dude, made me laugh all the way through
i love the "deploy landing gear, open flaps" i also second the fact that it looks like jesus.
Submitted by Dufflady (user info) at 2004-04-24 16:05:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You have just rang true on so many levels.
Submitted by Bwo (user info) at 2004-04-24 13:11:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Man that was so funny...by far the greatest post.
Submitted by BLACK KILLER THUG <fuckingirls.at.hotmail.com> at 2004-04-24 01:35:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hahhaha funni shit..
i gave you a 2 for the creativity you got.
Submitted by Rugby (user info) at 2004-04-22 21:26:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ok, so I am pretty sure this post is against my morals, but not only have I not laughed so hard in a week as when I read this, I can't help but notice how true it all of it is. I just don't think anyone else would have been able to put the male orgasm into text like that.
I love the internet...almost too much.
Submitted by The_Enforcer (user info) at 2004-04-22 14:46:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
you are going to hewll.
Submitted by randomLinkGuy <rlg.at.random.com> at 2004-04-22 11:53:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
sweet
http://www.ubersite.com/m/30963
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2004-04-21 13:01:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Bahahahahaha!!!!!!!!! Very very amusing...
Why DO we always have to pee after sex? Weird.
Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2004-04-21 11:10:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This post is 100 hits away from taking over KoolMang on the MVA.
Submitted by Rokinroj (user info) at 2004-04-20 12:13:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good stuff!
"BRAIN: "Its out of my control, its in God's hands now" "
that killed me!
Rokinroj
Submitted by Jonesy (user info) at 2004-04-20 11:31:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Thank you
Submitted by carjacked <carjacked.at.hotass.com> at 2004-04-20 05:55:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahaha that was funny as fuck. The dude in the pic really does looks like Jesus. LOL Jesus is busting a nut.
Submitted by Pacifist248 (user info) at 2004-04-20 01:57:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by bluerampage2 (user info) at 2004-04-19 23:48:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Genius. And sooo, sooo true!
Submitted by Magicaddict (user info) at 2004-04-19 06:48:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Brilliant, though, have you ever considered what the woman may be thinking?
Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2004-04-17 22:57:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Holy hell, this is running away with the #1 spot.
Submitted by tuesdaydelay (user info) at 2004-04-16 15:08:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=1081780729576519201
The German version.
Submitted by Willzone at 2004-04-14 11:21:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I would also like to add that i eat dude butt
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2004-04-14 09:19:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The below 30 some-odd reviews are a waste of your precious time. Scroll fast and do not click the link as it opens up child porn.
Submitted by Falco (user info) at 2004-04-14 01:46:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 again
Submitted by Mechroneal <mechroneal.at.mechroneal.com> at 2004-04-13 18:35:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by seckzrebel (user info) at 2004-04-13 14:27:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That was fucking beautiful dialogue...literally.
Submitted by AlwaysAnEagle (user info) at 2004-04-13 10:44:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Every time I think "I could use some humor, I'll check out some of my favorite posts," and come to this one, I forget that there's a giant picture of Jonukah's o-face at the bottom. Never fails to startle.
Congrats on numero uno!
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2004-04-13 08:49:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
well, queen and squirrel...tell me what you know.
-Wz
Submitted by ohlookasquirrel (user info) at 2004-04-13 02:33:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What ashlee said.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2004-04-13 02:24:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh dear... I can't believe I didn't read this sooner. I'm glad this knocked Donovans shitty post off the #1 spot. It honestly wasn't that great.
This is.
Submitted by Falco (user info) at 2004-04-12 22:49:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Congrats Jon :) May the hit whores never reach your title as MVM. Falco
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2004-04-12 21:21:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2004-04-12 16:09:37 (#)
Ranking: 2
congrats on #1.
I figure you will hold this spot for a month till TOM's Peer to Peer post supasses it...that one is steamrolling.
I know something you don't know!
Submitted by Falco (user info) at 2004-04-12 18:12:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 You are my second idol behind Koolmang! Only 10more hits till this is MV
Submitted by Falco (user info) at 2004-04-12 18:11:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
GO JONUKAH!
Submitted by speeddaimon (user info) at 2004-04-12 17:17:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I wish I made it to the female orgasm.
Oh well.......I eat good pussy
Submitted by tuesdaydelay (user info) at 2004-04-12 16:26:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=1081780729576519201
The German version.
Submitted by jwlmar10 (user info) at 2004-04-12 16:15:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nooooooo! This is a fantastic post. Don't get me worng here, but "You're a Racist Dr. Seuss" is the most brilliant thing I have ever read on the internet and I think it deserves the #1 spot.
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2004-04-12 16:09:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
congrats on #1.
I figure you will hold this spot for a month till TOM's Peer to Peer post supasses it...that one is steamrolling.
Submitted by tuesdaydelay (user info) at 2004-04-12 10:40:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Deshalb wollen Sie es auf deutsch, Recht lesen?
http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=1081780729576519201
Submitted by tuesdaydelay (user info) at 2004-04-12 10:40:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Deshalb wollen Sie es auf deutsch, Recht lesen?
Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2004-04-11 00:59:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Very soon and this post is number 1!!
Submitted by kisses (user info) at 2004-04-11 00:45:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
so thats what guys go through!!
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-04-09 21:36:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Go, Jon, go!
Submitted by Mr_Insanity (user info) at 2004-04-09 21:09:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Can't believe I never rated this. WOO YAY
Submitted by deaths-crusifix at 2004-04-07 18:16:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
funny as hell
Submitted by traxzilla (user info) at 2004-04-07 10:14:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fucking hilarious.
Submitted by mtsnowrider (user info) at 2004-04-06 11:32:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
a universal truth
Submitted by H1KE (user info) at 2004-04-06 11:19:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That was awesome. You actually wrote out what I was thinking and made me piss myself laughing while doing it. +2
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2004-04-03 05:33:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
this was postalicious
Submitted by DrGonzo (user info) at 2004-04-02 12:00:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
chicks are evil, they mess up the brain
and the brain thinks it's a requirement for life
but that's a load of crap invented by the dudes who wrote the first testament
in reality , nookie is nottin but a chemical interaction
might as well do drugs, more effective in every way ( high , low, addiction ) and no chance of rejection...
oh yeah , and your dope dealer really isn't going to bitch about having the toilet seat up !
Submitted by Weasel (user info) at 2004-04-01 16:40:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fan -fucking- tastic.
Submitted by Sku_Dave (user info) at 2004-04-01 04:17:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That's some funny-ass shit man!
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2004-03-30 20:05:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
god-like.
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2004-03-29 15:30:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Pretty soon this will be the all time greatest (most viewed) uber post. all due to a great eye catching, click ready title.
I applaud you.
Submitted by Sniper-Wolf (user info) at 2004-03-26 19:41:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
lol, excellent
Submitted by perturbo (user info) at 2004-03-26 15:26:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Hilarious!
Submitted by Slapshot99 (user info) at 2004-03-25 18:48:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Golf clap (lasting 20 minutes)
Submitted by Brownsugamia <brownsugamia.at.hotmail.com> at 2004-03-25 17:38:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I find that very true from all my experiences. It was very very very funny. Except I believe in putting in a little work too.
Submitted by Hammer2003 (user info) at 2004-03-24 01:12:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The truth is funnier than fiction
Submitted by MrFurry (user info) at 2004-03-23 19:14:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2004-03-22 14:04:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This never gets old.
Submitted by Mitchtheotter (user info) at 2004-03-22 09:32:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Indeed.
Thinking is the downside to shagging.
Submitted by MadScientist (user info) at 2004-03-20 10:42:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
DANGER: HULL INTEGRITY!
PRIMARY VALVE: EJACULATING!
I about fell off this fuck chair.
+2 for likening sex to that of jet pilot.
Submitted by slurp812 (user info) at 2004-03-19 16:23:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
WOW excellent. There are like others mentioned women who like to be the pilot! And I have one of them.
If a few days have passed, and shes frisky, and dont attack her, she jumps on and rocks my world!
Submitted by Melany (user info) at 2004-03-18 23:07:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I always come back at this and laugh my ass off! I thank you.
Submitted by MaryG <maryg.at.yahoo.com> at 2004-03-16 00:36:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Great Work. :)
Submitted by lazaruslng9676 (user info) at 2004-03-08 16:42:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That post kicked ass. Every once in a while I nail a girl who cares enough to get on top and ride me like a donkey, but too many of them just lie back and enjoy the ride. All of them DO enjoy the ride, I might add.
Submitted by Nosearian (user info) at 2004-03-08 15:41:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
If a girl don't get it now, she never will!
Submitted by funkmeister (user info) at 2004-03-05 01:47:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeeeeeeeeee Haaaaaaaaaaaawwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Submitted by Uberfuck (user info) at 2004-03-04 16:59:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hands down this is the best post I've seen yet.
Submitted by rob <soundsgood> at 2004-03-04 13:20:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Very true, very true. I could have done without the guys mug in the apparent cum photo. Thank God I wasn't eating...
Submitted by Scott_James (user info) at 2004-03-02 22:28:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This was great, it was so true.
Submitted by Dazd1 (user info) at 2004-03-02 21:00:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That was some funny shit! Best thing that I have read on Ubber yet!!!
Submitted by BikerRob <evil_biker_rob.at.yahoo.com> at 2004-03-02 06:21:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oops.... Coffee ain't workin'.
+2
Submitted by BikerRob <evil_biker_rob.at.yahoo.com> at 2004-03-02 06:20:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Very funny! I work on aircraft for a living, so the association was a plus.
I thought I was the only one who did that.
Submitted by TarikJax (user info) at 2004-03-02 05:48:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This made me laugh so much everyone would think I was very strange if there was anyone around to notice.
Submitted by DAL9000 (user info) at 2004-03-02 05:34:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Now /that/ made me laugh.
Submitted by KoolMang (user info) at 2004-02-27 02:34:17 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by random jane at 2004-02-27 02:18:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hahah well im glad im not a guy... but that only covers missionary, what about all the other crazy postions? that takes alot of effort on both partners, but your post was still very funny
Submitted by speedholes at 2004-02-22 18:45:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
fantas-great,
very accurate, that just made my night
Submitted by tiredlady <tiredwoman.at.yahoo.com> at 2004-02-20 14:22:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
i once made a point of someone looking like Jesus, and my bitch teacher yelled at me. I offended her beliefs,
Submitted by tiredlady <tiredwoman.at.yahoo.com> at 2004-02-20 13:28:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Its funny because when i start to shake in bed from a orgasm, my boyfriend tells me if i can stop moving because he needs to finish is work and keep his eye on target. When he is about to come, he really doesn't look like his thinking about anything because he has a dumb expression on his face. His mouth is opened his eyes look funny. I want to burst out laughing. There is no foreplay in our relationship. He just tells me what to do, spends a half an hour on my breast,and with his busy hands. And 5 secs down. I lay still and try not to disrupt his business. Why I watch tv and think about the following dayly events!
Submitted by Porter (user info) at 2004-02-19 16:28:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Dude, anyone ever told you that you look like Jesus? I mean, you look like Jesus as far as anyone trying to get a picture of what Jesus would look like while blowing his load. Way to fuckin funny man, thanks for the laugh.
Porter
Submitted by alchemist (user info) at 2004-02-19 10:46:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No matter how many times I read this, I still laugh out loud.
Submitted by SuperRat <DanielMLi.at.yahoo.com> at 2004-02-18 23:28:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Scott_James (user info) at 2004-02-16 23:45:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Still makes me laugh after all these months.
Submitted by Wargazim <gifrank2000.at.yahoo.com> at 2004-02-14 23:14:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Heh heh heh! Its a good thing they never piss while fucking!
Submitted by sublime (user info) at 2004-02-14 18:09:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
this is my new display pic
Submitted by Male pimp at 2004-02-13 02:55:48 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Guys are quit in bed because they want to punch you in the face for sucking at life! Your mom gives twice the head you do for half the price and its 10 times sweeter. The thing with ugly bitches is no one cares. Noone is telling anyone they fucked you. The only thing that makes dudes even want to tell anyone is if they punch you in the neck after they cum or if they blow one in your eye and it stings! Keep on smiling cools! http://geocities.com/captain_foamy PS> Ugly chicks get un ugly
Submitted by Webspam (user info) at 2004-02-10 14:48:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.spacerace.tk
Submitted by jwlmar10 (user info) at 2004-02-09 22:58:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
If this overtakes "You're a Racist Dr. Seuss" I will be annoyed.
Submitted by Magno (user info) at 2004-02-09 22:50:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
#2 most viewed message.
Jesus. That was quick.
Submitted by Wonket (user info) at 2004-02-09 22:21:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Just hilarious.
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2004-02-09 15:09:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i still laugh whevever i read this shit
Submitted by ExotikJ (user info) at 2004-02-09 14:58:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
fantastic..i am offcially thinking who will i call when i leave work to get some ass.
Submitted by Buckley (user info) at 2004-02-09 02:48:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You are my hero.
Submitted by STIXS (user info) at 2004-02-08 21:21:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I forgot if i rated this great post or not...so i decided to do it...just in case
Submitted by virgil (user info) at 2004-02-06 00:57:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
WOMAN: "Get off me, I need to pee"
Why does that sound familiar... hm.
Submitted by shantydweller36 (user info) at 2004-02-04 19:51:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
your mother should have swallowed you
funny but in my experiance a girl has to put a guy through this to get even because in the end SHES FAKEING IT ANYWAY
Submitted by notAcoolKID66 (user info) at 2004-02-01 15:00:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Pretty Damn Accurate
Submitted by wkey (user info) at 2004-01-30 16:32:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Very accurate!
Submitted by georgyistops (user info) at 2004-01-28 23:49:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
oh yeah, the piece was funny too...
Submitted by georgyistops (user info) at 2004-01-28 23:46:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
dude, is that photo you? if it is man, you are hot!
and mothyham, screw you - jewish boys are foxy! there aren't anywhere near enough of em here in sydney.
lovin the curly hair and big lips... mmm mmm good...
Submitted by FartSmeller (user info) at 2004-01-28 20:06:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That's fucking funny.
Submitted by throbgod13 (user info) at 2004-01-28 05:33:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
this is pretty much the male sexual experience..
Submitted by Mothyham (user info) at 2004-01-27 20:59:56 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
fithy jew
Submitted by Kristen (user info) at 2004-01-27 15:45:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
There are occurances in life that stand out so much you can remember exactly what you were doing when they happened.
This post is one of those-I was eating a bowl of cereal, listening to Brad Paisley, and reading Über...I proceeded to choke on my Cinnamon Toast Crunch because I laughed, all the while thinking, verbatim, "Awwwwwww."
Submitted by Lucifer_Industries (user info) at 2004-01-27 15:37:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
FUCKING HILARIOUS DUDE! As a fellow member of the same sex as the poster, I must admit that there is a bit of truth to his posting. Now all you ladies just have to figure out what parts are 100% true and which parts are comic relief. I suggest going to the bedroom together and find out.
Malone
Lucifer Industries
http://www.luciferindustries.com
Submitted by BlackJesus (user info) at 2004-01-26 17:07:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"I was once having a conversation with Jesus"
Just call me BlackJesus.
--
"Guys are quiet in bed because we are too busy thinking. You heard me right. Thinking. Deep thoughts. You see, it seems to generally the guy's job, (at least in my experience) to make the girl feel as good as possible and have sweet, sweet orgasms. The girl, on the other hand, is generally content to just lay back and see what I've got to offer."
So true. You also have to take into consideration that it just feels better for women and their multiple orgasms. God I hate it when people take more than they give.
Submitted by Darkrigel22 (user info) at 2004-01-20 16:50:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Definately one of the best ever.... dude - did you record my mental conversation from last night? LOL
+2 for being so dead on.......
- DR22
Submitted by edge <aimxedge.at.aol.com> at 2004-01-19 14:25:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i love these brain/computer posts... fucking hilarious, all of them
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-01-16 14:29:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
penis
Submitted by cchero (user info) at 2004-01-14 22:03:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I recommend this pic, while wearing the following
http://www.ubersite.com/m/22975
Don't date her, ACCOMOdate her
In reference to this post, one of the best I've read here so far---AWESOME WORK!!!!
Submitted by Herpes (user info) at 2004-01-13 17:13:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
This should be at #6 within the coming 24.
Submitted by lilxTroubleMaker (user info) at 2004-01-13 16:03:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
hahaha....funni.
Submitted by skatastrophy (user info) at 2004-01-12 05:01:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh i have never laughed so hard! ok i have but this was way up there. Although it was very very VERY WRONG. I think im going to go have a shower now i feel violated....
Submitted by Lisa (user info) at 2004-01-10 14:28:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Sorry, that last review wasn't there before I started typing mine.
Submitted by Lisa (user info) at 2004-01-10 14:27:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Jonukah, I suspect that you are a self-absorbed Narcissist.
1. "If I cum now, will it be ...
2. On being Screwed.
3. "If I cum now, will it be ...
4. "If I cum now, will it be ...
5. "If I cum now, will it be ...
6. "If I cum now, will it be ...
7. "If I cum now, will it be ...
8. "If I cum now, will it be ...
9. "If I cum now, will it be ...
10. "If I cum now, will it be ...
Submitted by quack (user info) at 2004-01-10 14:26:04 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
this was funny the first time, please stop refreshing it..
Most Recently Viewed
1. "If I cum now, will it be ...
2. "If I cum now, will it be ...
3. zzzzzzzzinnnnnnng!
4. "If I cum now, will it be ...
5. "If I cum now, will it be ...
6. Is this real? (semi-work s...
7. "If I cum now, will it be ...
8. "If I cum now, will it be ...
9. "If I cum now, will it be ...
10. "If I cum now, will it be ...
Submitted by la_nina_bonita (user info) at 2004-01-09 20:41:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This shit kicks ass!!! That is the ultimate O-face LMAO
Thanks for clearing that up, I always wondered about that that
concentrated look hehehe... However, I must say that I do all
but just lie there...I must be one of the bad ones that
purposely moves to make him lose it....mwahahahaha
Submitted by oncewhatneverwas <thefuckingpope@christismybitch> at 2004-01-09 10:06:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
it's sad really.... i thought of myself. then laughed. kicked ass man... kicked ass
Submitted by jonukah (user info) at 2004-01-08 19:10:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Jesus Christ...this post has become a hit machine. Well if you people like this one so much, here are my other introspective adventures to date:
How many "I love you's does it take to get her off my freaking back?
http://www.ubersite.com/m/17855
Why I hate retail: Worst Customer Ever!
http://www.ubersite.com/m/18120
On relationships and why I hate going to the mall
http://www.ubersite.com/m/18308
Jonukah's first high, or when COMPUTER became self aware
http://www.ubersite.com/m/18784
Radar Detector Detector Detector
http://www.ubersite.com/m/22306
Submitted by mariegael <lorettamariegael.at.yahoo.com> at 2004-01-08 02:46:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
that was hilarious. you deserve a girl who does just lay back. screw that.
Submitted by Idliketobuytheworldacoke at 2004-01-08 02:24:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
umm +2 if that pic is merely a reinactment -2 if it is not
Submitted by dot (user info) at 2004-01-04 17:59:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2004-01-02 17:34:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Excellent.
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2004-01-02 12:50:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
http://danielsan.org/pages/archives/000069.html
and
http://www.livejournal.com/users/sometimesadream/138570.html?mode=reply
weird
Submitted by CDizzle (user info) at 2004-01-02 00:04:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I know I've read this somewhere before, the only reason I don't -2 it is because I don't remember where... but beware, I'm on to you
Submitted by gibson082284 (user info) at 2004-01-01 23:53:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That was hilarious. Truly truly hilarious.
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-01-01 20:47:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by bargled (user info) at 2003-12-29 21:40:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Jon, this has been my wallpaper for quite some time. My sister always looks at me funny when she sees it.
+2 again.
Submitted by Christ (user info) at 2003-12-29 21:10:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/21705
Submitted by Nick at 2003-12-29 00:46:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
good writing, scary picture, canadians suck!
Submitted by Falconer (user info) at 2003-12-24 07:17:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
'Science & Environmental'
Submitted by slyphter (user info) at 2003-12-24 05:40:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I just repeat the konami code repeatedly in my head. If i really need to slow things down i think "YES! thirty extra lives" every time i do it.
Submitted by QueenBea (user info) at 2003-12-18 01:54:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This was classic! Thanks for the insight, he makes noise, but this explains why alot of the times he seems to be concentrating...lol.
Queen
Submitted by Joe Talbot <redhatman.at.hotmail.com> at 2003-12-17 12:10:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
painfully true... like reading my own damned journal!
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2003-12-15 09:26:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The shit.
Submitted by Roon _dogg at 2003-12-10 11:05:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is so true, made me laugh as soon as I read it. Still can't get the smile of me face. Hope I don't start thinking i'm a pilot when i'm banging me girl.
Submitted by IndianOcean (user info) at 2003-12-07 19:38:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
JESUS DUDE.. you got 19K hits on this.. NICE SHIT.
Submitted by somethingswronghere (user info) at 2003-12-06 09:27:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
+2 for the writing. -1 for the jesus picture.
Submitted by virgil (user info) at 2003-12-03 22:42:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
bwa hahaha
Submitted by Stupac (user info) at 2003-12-02 22:53:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fucking Hilarious
Submitted by IndianOcean (user info) at 2003-12-02 18:09:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Very funny stuff.
Submitted by Josh <steelemill_21.at.hotmail.com> at 2003-12-02 10:34:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
that was really funny. its like the terminator having sex, lol. and if you wanna see something else fun and really addictive, check this out:
http://mafia.cheats4us.org/index.php?x=78990
its free to sign up and play. and its so addictive. all you do is choose a name and write it in the box at the bottom of the page. then you click to begin, and it will give you a link to make money (the money isnt real, its a game). every time someone clicks on this link, you "break their leg". and you "make money" for every "leg you break". its fun and you have people above you that you work for, and everyone competes and its great. sign up!!! once again, that was realllly funny lol.
Submitted by jimbobjoe (user info) at 2003-11-30 17:17:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yes. and Yes again.
Submitted by superwallet (user info) at 2003-11-29 19:17:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
holy shit that makes so much sense
Submitted by Raymond Owens <Raymond_canada_Owens.at.hotmail.c> at 2003-11-27 17:35:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
That sucked ! That is the gayest topic ! Who cares who fucks who ! Really ! Fuck that queer orgasm shit? I swear orgasms are the gayest thing since legalized gay marriages . The dude is just a horny mother fucker that has no fucking brains. Fuck Him. Who the fuck what smoking pot in those other comments. Fuck that is so gay.ANYWAYS.
MERRY CHRISTMAS
Submitted by alveenie (user info) at 2003-11-26 17:53:30 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
+2 for the article. -3 for the picture.
Submitted by Manu at 2003-11-26 01:55:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That was tight. *Snickers.*
Submitted by Bria at 2003-11-23 12:44:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
that explains so much. I feel enlightened for having read that article.
Submitted by My Name <myname.at.mystupidjob.com> at 2003-11-21 14:28:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Now that was worth reading, and entertaining, and from what I've heard, true.
Submitted by Xero <xerof4.at.yahoo~dot~com> at 2003-11-21 14:19:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuckin hilarious...
Submitted by Luna <luna6198.at.bellsouth.net> at 2003-11-21 14:06:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
As a woman - it explains it all. And the photo has the same expression my hubby does. Way to funny & well written!
Submitted by Jeremy <cyberbob_42.at.hotmail.com> at 2003-11-21 13:16:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
So true, I laughed so hard everyone in the cubicles next to me came over to see what the heck I was looking at!
Great job with the commentary, its not everyday that Someone captures the essence of a male mindset during sex so vividly
Submitted by hinkle (user info) at 2003-11-20 21:50:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Quite amusing.
Submitted by jonukah (user info) at 2003-11-19 00:07:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
When COMPUTER became self aware: The sequel
http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=1069218403891525258
Submitted by Jake at 2003-11-18 21:00:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
My first time to this site and...LOL The guys face was priceless...lmfao
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2003-11-18 20:42:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
If you think that was funny, go check this out:
http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=106920231026572212
Submitted by Home_Slice2001 (user info) at 2003-11-18 17:46:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Wow.
Remember kids, if you're going to reply to idiots, try to rank the right article, the below post doesnt belong here
Oops.
||
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\/
Submitted by Home_Slice2001 (user info) at 2003-11-18 17:44:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Jesus.
I'm new to this site and i just read this article. Then I read the reviews of this article. What the hell is wrong with you people? You're all positively Canadian. It's obviously a joke.
"Look at the Canadian flag! It's a fucking leaf! 'Oh, don't screw with Canada! We'll dry up and blow away!'"
"Cana-DUH."
-Jeremy Hotz, Take a listen, he's Canada's finest export.
Submitted by jon <jon.at.hot.com> at 2003-11-18 14:00:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
awesmone
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2003-11-18 13:24:42 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Americans don't have this problem, only Canadians do, go here to find out why:
http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=1069104224514727984
Submitted by Valacosa (user info) at 2003-11-18 10:35:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Another +2 because it was so, so good.
Submitted by hairowen (user info) at 2003-11-17 22:26:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
well despite what everyone else says I LIKE the picture its as funny as hell. lets just hope you're not really splurgin during that picture
Submitted by Stin64 <stin64.at.yahoo.com> at 2003-11-17 18:57:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Thanks dude. I've learned so much...
Submitted by Fabish (user info) at 2003-11-17 01:24:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You're a pretty funny guy.
Submitted by gbusman (user info) at 2003-11-17 01:06:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
If I was ever having sex and saw an O-face that ugly, I would quickly ingest the nearest bottle of bleech.
Great post though.
-Bus
Submitted by Hairsphincter (user info) at 2003-11-16 18:41:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I can't get the smell off...
Submitted by NickTheDivine (user info) at 2003-11-16 18:15:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That's so me.
Submitted by UncleJamimaLives (user info) at 2003-11-15 18:09:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
There ya go...
Submitted by UncleJamimaLives (user info) at 2003-11-15 18:09:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
LMAO + 4
Submitted by Dmbandits531 (user info) at 2003-11-15 01:09:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I totally agree with you Jon, and it was funny as fuck. But what I've found is that if I am completely drunk off my ass I can last probably 10x longer because the majority of what little brain power and motor skills I have left is concentrated on what I was just "trying" to do. And sometimes I forget where I am and what I'm doing which help also.
Submitted by diverman (user info) at 2003-11-15 00:35:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
good post, disturbing yet funny pic
do you ever think about other stuff when having sex? Like, if im looking outside, i tend to try to spot really nice cars in a parkinglot or something. maybe it's just me, maybe my girl sucks. but either case, i too get the "too soon" feeling.
job well done
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2003-11-14 19:06:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
f-ing hilarious
Submitted by RandomlyAbsurd (user info) at 2003-11-14 15:42:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
It's nice to know I'm not the only one who goes through this every night...
But I'm probably the only one who goes through this while jerking off.
Submitted by Valacosa (user info) at 2003-11-14 03:33:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Holy shit! You nailed it dead on!
And that picture was freaky, because when I first saw it, I thought it was ME. And why, WHY does it have to be so big?!?
Submitted by moose74 (user info) at 2003-11-13 20:03:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is one of the funniest things I've ever read.
Submitted by Lisa (user info) at 2003-11-13 03:57:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I was on my Uber-break when this was written.
It's good.
You have shiny hair.
Submitted by tuesdaydelay (user info) at 2003-11-11 18:08:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Mr Elkins, that was some good work.
Submitted by Bob_Dole (user info) at 2003-11-10 12:50:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Double Kicker of All Asses.
Submitted by Bob_Dole (user info) at 2003-11-10 12:50:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
My coworkers are staring at me... that makes sense, as I'm rolling on the floor, laughing my ass off.
Submitted by Jay <jshields00.at.hotmail.com> at 2003-11-07 16:37:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
absolutely hilarious
funniest thing ever ever
Submitted by j0andre1 (user info) at 2003-11-07 15:54:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
AHHHHH HAHAHAHA
Great Shit.
Submitted by Otter (user info) at 2003-11-07 03:50:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That was one of the funniest things I've read on this site.
I can't believe you go thorugh all that. I'm usually like:
DDDEEEAAADDD CAT, DDDEEEAAADDD CAT, DDDEEEAAADDD CAT, Margret Thatcher, DDDEEEAAADDD CAT, DDDEEEAAADDD CAT, DDDEEEAAADDD CAT, Margret Thatcher, DDDEEEAAADDD CAT, DDDEEEAAADDD CAT, DDDEEEAAADDD CAT, Margret Thatcher, DDDEEEAAADDD CAT, DDDEEEAAADDD CAT, DDDEEEAAADDD CAT, Margret Thatcher, DDDEEEAAADDD CAT, DDDEEEAAADDD CAT, DDDEEEAAADDD CAT, Margret Thatcher, DDDEEEAAADDD CAT, DDDEEEAAADDD CAT, DDDEEEAAADDD CAT, Margret Thatcher, DDDEEEAAADDD CAT, DDDEEEAAADDD CAT, DDDEEEAAADDD CAT, Margret Thatcher, DDDEEEAAADDD CAT, DDDEEEAAADDD CAT, DDDEEEAAADDD CAT, Margret Thatcher...
This weekend I think I'll try:
Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Mushroom, Mushroom, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Mushroom, Mushroom, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Mushroom, Mushroom, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Mushroom, Mushroom, A snake, A snake, A snake, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Mushroom, Mushroom, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Mushroom, Mushroom, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Mushroom, Mushroom, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Mushroom, Mushroom, A snake, A snake, A snake, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Mushroom, Mushroom, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Mushroom, Mushroom, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Mushroom, Mushroom, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Mushroom, Mushroom, A snake, A snake, A snake, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Mushroom, Mushroom, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Mushroom, Mushroom, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Mushroom, Mushroom, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Mushroom, Mushroom, A snake, A snake, A snake...
Submitted by JAMESG (user info) at 2003-11-06 23:10:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HaHaHaHa!!!
Submitted by jonukah (user info) at 2003-11-06 20:02:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Acarnis: That would have been a nice ending, but that would be too optimistic for me.
Submitted by Acarnis (user info) at 2003-11-06 19:58:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
BRAIN: "Mission Accomplished."
Submitted by Cassiopeia (user info) at 2003-11-06 18:04:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
oh my freakin god that was excellent!!!!!!!!! funny shit man, keep it cuming... unless you need to think too much <refer to picture above...>
Submitted by Murphy1844 (user info) at 2003-11-06 15:52:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You are such a DORK! That was hilarious.
Murphy
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2003-11-06 15:26:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
korthrun - what are the odds that I'm kidding?
every day I am stunned all over again at how stupid people are
Submitted by Blitzen (user info) at 2003-11-06 15:14:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
superb
Submitted by hotboxedsquirrel (user info) at 2003-11-06 08:53:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Awesome post man.
Submitted by Bellebrown (user info) at 2003-11-06 05:23:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
funny...
Submitted by bargled (user info) at 2003-11-06 00:25:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm about to take that chick from accounting out on a date.
Maybe I'll get to show her my O face. You know what I'm talkin about.
Oh Oh OH! You know...
=====
Office Space
Submitted by OriginalNick (user info) at 2003-11-05 22:54:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHA beautiful. That is indeed the face of deep thought.
Submitted by Beer_bong (user info) at 2003-11-05 22:48:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuckin A, that was the shit.
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2003-11-05 22:21:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
This guy's got hair like Jesus
Submitted by korthrun (user info) at 2003-11-05 19:36:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
First off nice post.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2003-11-05 09:05:46 (#)
blah blah blah.
So if thats what you are thinking, why do you even bother?
Submitted by Random Joe at 2003-11-05 19:09:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
that was the funniest post ive ever read, keep up the good work buddy
;{]
Submitted by jonukah (user info) at 2003-11-05 19:06:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Spikegoddess: Lucid is right. Men can definately have multiple orgasms. I had a double once. It was nice. Never happened again, though.
Submitted by Faceless (user info) at 2003-11-05 18:27:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
funny
Submitted by Natophelia (user info) at 2003-11-05 17:44:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2003-11-05 17:39:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by lucid (user info) at 2003-11-05 17:15:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Haha great post.
SpikeGoddess, men can definetly have multiple orgasms.
Submitted by NotApologizing (user info) at 2003-11-05 16:24:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Whoa, what are you talking about...? Hmmm, sex...what? You know what's absolutely baffling about sex (and also says something about women)?
Like you said, fucking one woman usually means you do all the work. She just lays there like a figure skating judge, evaluating your performance while you do all the work. And you can feel like you did a good job, but sometimes the lady is overly critical. The baffling part is when there are 2 women in the bed. In that case, they are vicious hose hunters who do nothing but compete for your attention and your meat bottle. In that case, they usually won't let you do ANYTHING but lay there. I say it's baffling because women only give 2 shits about working hard in bed when there is some competition. Catty, competitive hose hounds.
Submitted by SpikeGoddess (user info) at 2003-11-05 15:58:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh my god, I did NOT need to see your pre-O face!!!!!!!
Funny as hell though. All that work, and men can't even have muliple orgasms. What a damned shame...
SpikeGoddess
(who loves being a woman!)
Submitted by poisonyourkids (user info) at 2003-11-05 14:16:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
haha...that made me laugh...
Submitted by UrbaneMischief (user info) at 2003-11-05 14:08:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2003-11-05 12:24:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I just fell out of my fucking chair.
Great post.
Submitted by uliq_m_diq (user info) at 2003-11-05 11:47:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
too true,... and it doesnt get any easier when you're married
Submitted by El_Guapo (user info) at 2003-11-05 11:32:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hahahahahaha!!!
oh man, i laughed my ass off at this
Submitted by Manfre (user info) at 2003-11-05 10:48:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FUCKING WONDERFUL!!!!
Its so true too.
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2003-11-05 10:41:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
terrible absurd truths in here
Submitted by Kris (user info) at 2003-11-05 10:36:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That's one of the funniest things I have read in a long time! Thanks
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2003-11-05 10:27:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Made me wee. SO SO SO good.
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2003-11-05 10:17:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
oh god john, that had me in tears.
Submitted by SiliconJesus (user info) at 2003-11-05 10:03:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You bastard, you have this post all wrong, we had this conversation at someone else's house you publicity hog. I hafta say though the computer warnings are a nice touch you bastard. And what expression is in that pic....I think the guy about to cum is the one above you......
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2003-11-05 09:40:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
For some reason I laughed the most when I read DANGER HULL INTEGRETY.
I need to get out more. or maybe less. I dont know.
It was funny anyhow.
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2003-11-05 09:24:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Well done.
Good title, entertaining and the photo completes it well.
Loki,
SHUT UP! haha, that isn't what the girls think with ME, goddamnit!! ;-)
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2003-11-05 09:21:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ahahahahahaha.
That's fantastic. Thanks for an action-packed peek into the male sexual psyche. (More like psychosis.)
Submitted by Deisangua (user info) at 2003-11-05 09:13:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That was funny as hell...and the picture was great - but VERY disturbing.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2003-11-05 09:05:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Want to know what the girl is thinking?
If I moan and act like I like it maybe he'll stop.
How long has it been since we painted the ceiling?
I really think we need to paint the ceiling.
I've never noticed this, but I think we used a different shade on the trim than the ceiling.
Oh wait, maybe it just looks that way because of the lamp light.
I don't really care for that light fixture in the ceiling either.
I guess it doesn't matter since it's so garishly bright that we never use it.
I wonder how hard it would be to put in a ceiling fan, that would be great.
Well maybe now is not the time to mention the fan idea.
I guess I'd better wrap this up so I can get some sleep.
Submitted by itchy (user info) at 2003-11-05 08:45:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Truer words were never written. Preach on brother.
Submitted by lowsodiummonkey (user info) at 2003-11-05 08:33:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I can honest say that there is no thought going on in my brain during sex. I usually blackout because my animal instincts take over. I always end up saying, "Hey, what happened?" and then I fall asleep. Once I woke up with a dead girl next to me.
Submitted by marc01 (user info) at 2003-11-05 08:20:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
this is awesome. and oh so true
Submitted by potatomanjack (user info) at 2003-11-05 08:08:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Holy fucking shit!!!
Are you psychic or something?
Submitted by SoxSexSax (user info) at 2003-11-05 07:39:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
+2 for superb writing
-1 for dire picture
Submitted by Kristen (user info) at 2003-11-05 06:56:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Awww...and I thought men were naturally gifted. Poor things.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2003-11-05 04:50:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAHAHAHAHAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
Submitted by Penis Blender at 2003-11-05 04:23:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Looks like I got you, too
Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2003-11-05 03:20:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good post, but the pic made me laugh out loud.
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2003-11-05 01:55:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Beautiful.
And the post was nice too.
HA
Submitted by Quartermain (user info) at 2003-11-05 01:45:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is the funniest damn thing I've read all week
Of course, its only Tuesday.
Submitted by GrizzlyHunter62 (user info) at 2003-11-05 01:20:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
-1 because that picture is making me feel... dirty...
---------------------------------------------
What they said. Yuck. I feel so, so disturbed after seeing that picture.
But good post.
Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2003-11-05 01:15:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
this is exactly correct.
you are bobblehead jesus.
Submitted by MickGinny (user info) at 2003-11-05 01:13:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
thats some good chit!
although i am a little concerned by this:
"Do you ever find that pre-orgasm expression on a guys face funny?"
just how close are you and razor?
Submitted by jonukah (user info) at 2003-11-05 00:54:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Congratulations on noticing the pic title. Did anyone noticed the subject? Oh, and tell Legendary_Threat I said thanks for the rotten meat. I've had my share of it lately, I gave Razor head just last week.
Submitted by Legendary_Threat (user info) at 2003-11-05 00:43:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
you look like the guy i feed rotten meat, he lives on the corner, he tells me his name is john, but i have named him elro, this is a much better name I think.
Submitted by chipolatte (user info) at 2003-11-05 00:40:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
you make me giggle like a schoolgirl sometimes, i
swear.
Submitted by ess2s2 (user info) at 2003-11-05 00:33:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I just noticed the picture is called "moneyshot", that hightens my nausea to an alarming degree, but I still can't give you a poor score, the post is just too good.
Submitted by Franger (user info) at 2003-11-05 00:28:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Brilliant, thats all there is to it
Submitted by DJMattB241 (user info) at 2003-11-05 00:27:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
that was fucking funny and you look like aphex twin.
Submitted by InSaNeSna1L (user info) at 2003-11-05 00:19:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Very funny....except for the pic :) but o well...
Ure right tho...us guys have alot to think about...
but fellas...heres a tip i noticed...
Just before you take the final step with a chick...use the same sexual motions up against her body and that will warm them up and then continue as planned...
Submitted by heatherm (user info) at 2003-11-05 00:01:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
+2 for the post b/c it was funny
-1 because that picture is making me feel... dirty...
Submitted by Random Joe at 2003-11-04 23:58:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
OH YEAH
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2003-11-04 23:54:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Do you ever find that pre-orgasm expression on a guys face funny?
Ever wonder what he's feeling"
Its not pain
Its not pleasure
It is deep, hard, seething thought.
=========================================
so, so true.
this post is nothing but awesome.
Submitted by ess2s2 (user info) at 2003-11-04 23:47:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I want to minus two you so BAD for that fucking picture! But the post was so fucking spot-on right on target funny I have to give you a plus two, because that's exactly what I do.
Submitted by jonukah (user info) at 2003-11-04 23:44:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow, I've never been so well recieved. In bed or otherwise. And btw, that is yours truly depicted above
Submitted by indigowulf (user info) at 2003-11-04 23:41:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
OMG thats too funny. Im a woman and I know exactly what you are talking about. I can be honest LOL. It does seem unfair that men have to have so much control over themselves while women can just sort of.. wiggle.. to make them lose it. Men have to try so hard to "aquire thier target". Thats not fair to the men.
On the other hand, its also unfair that nature built us poor women to where 98% of us can NOT get off with just a "wiggle".
BTW, who is in that pic? LOL
Submitted by Ingsoc (user info) at 2003-11-04 23:27:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice work.
Submitted by RideJohnnyRide (user info) at 2003-11-04 23:24:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
This is the best post I've seen in SO long.
Is it too raunchy for bored-at-work?
Submitted by Yes at 2003-11-04 23:22:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA....
(wheeze)
HAHHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH
(thud)
Submitted by EvilZurr (user info) at 2003-11-04 23:21:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
that is all shades of wrong