For those with contacts (646 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 0 on 7 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <X_treme78.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2003-11-05 12:36:56 EST
Ever get your contacts on and then move on to another thing, when you realize that one of your contacts has a lip that curled under? Its in, you think its fine, then all of a sudden your eye starts stinging. Like someone urinated on your eyeball and rammed a cob of corn into it. Its like your eyeball is a busload of Israel civilians and your contact is a Palestinian Freedom Fighter. Every thing is kewl when he first gets onto the bus...then all of a sudden...JIHAD! That's right suicide bomb right in the frickin eye!
It happens to me once out of 10 times I put on my contacts. And you know what needs to be done. You got your eyes going clockwise, counter-clockwise, left and right, up and down, you push it this way and that with your finger. None of it ever works...I end up taking out, repositioning it on my finger...and place it back again. Problem fixed. But what happens when I run into the problem again? That's right, I do the same fuckin process: eyes rolling clockwise, counter-clockwise, hop on my left foot, dry hump the sink, kick the neighbors dog...finally winding up taking out my contact and putting it back again. "Why don't I just take it out and put it back in at the beginning?", you say. I like dry humping the sink.
Have you seen those Day and Night contacts? The ones where you can go for like a month without having to remove them. What the hell is that, an extra min in the morning and an extra min at night? Nobody can spare this time? Jeez.
For those with regular contacts...have you ever left them on overnight, cuz you were too tired or drank a little too much, etc. You wake up the next day to take them off....ssshhhhhllllurp. Its like welded onto your eyeball. Its like Velcro...sssshhhhrip. It feels like you can literally rip your eyeball out of your socket. Like your tearing your iris out. Hell I just leave em in there. I already have two on my left eye, but the weird thing is I have three on the other....go figure.
User Reviews
Submitted by tittytwister (user info) at 2003-11-25 22:28:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
http://veepers01.budlight.com/service/RetrieveCard?id=9513F170-1FBF-11D8-B0B4-E6D459074EC2
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2003-11-06 18:12:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
yea i wear contacts. i make sure to check if they are backwards every time before i put them in.
sometime you get that pain but for me it goes away within 5mins.
i always fall asleep w/ them in. just use remoistening drops before u take them out so that they are normal.
Submitted by Squidget (user info) at 2003-11-05 14:41:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I'm in the RAF. I can't wear glasses for the simple reason I don't want the friggin' things getting in the way when I fire my rifle.
I can sympathise, I once walked all the way round town with a contact on my cheek 'cause I hadn't realised it'd fallen out. Blonde moment.
I have the new night and day ones, I got them today, and they're much more comfortable than my usual ones, thicker and easier to get in as well. I'm just waiting to see all the gank that I get accumulated in the morning.
Submitted by slyphter (user info) at 2003-11-05 14:11:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
quit being so shallow and get glasses.
Submitted by DrunkMonk (user info) at 2003-11-05 14:11:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I've worn contacts for about 10 years and that has never happened to me.
Submitted by kilbasa at 2003-11-05 13:19:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
i can relate. except for the dry humping the sink part.
Submitted by Duke_Prometheus_III (user info) at 2003-11-05 12:48:07 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I'm not disabled, so I don't wear contacts.
"....go figure." -2 for saying that.