Zod reminded me... (720 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.9 on 12 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Emily <browneyedgirl123.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2003-11-09 19:12:01 EST
How strange. Just today at church I had a similar incident with one of my six year olds that Zod had when he was a kid. Allow me to share my story of the harfing child.
Nate came to Sunday school just a little late today. His mom mentioned to me he hadn't been feeling too fantastic that morning, but that he insisted on coming to church TO ATTEND MY CLASS. Hearing that made my heart warm over and I felt oh so fuzzy and warm inside. All worries about Nate's health being a potential problem vanished as I helped him to his seat and got him coloring with the rest of the kids. His face was a little pale and he was quieter than usual, but all the same, he told me he was happy to be there. Coloring eventually ended and we settled ourselves around the table for the actual lesson. I should mention here that Nate really is one of my better kids, probably the most normal in the class and one of the nicest. He always comes to class with this red bowtie, a matching vest, and with his slicked hair parted on the side. Nate's behavior is rarely a problem and I can usually get him to listen better than the rest of them. Over all, we get along fairly well and he's one of my favorites. Anyway, today in the middle of the lesson I noticed he'd not been answering questions as frequently or participating. He was sitting on my right with his head resting against the side of my arm. Nate was not looking good at all. His face was an ashen grey and I could feel the sweat from his forehead getting my sleeve damp. I looked down and asked him if he was feeling ok and if he needed to leave. He stared up at me and with a glazed expression mumbled "I'm not feeling goo-BLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGHHHHHH!!!!"
As I'm sure the reader can now imagine, Nate pitched forward face first into my lap spewing forth the contents of his stomach in a mighty glory of hydrochloric acid and partially digested food. Honestly, I've never seen anyone throw up as much as he did. The split second before it actually came out, I knew what was going to happen and immediatley cupped my hands under his chin. I managed to catch most of it, but the rest landed in my hair (goes to the waist and had been over my right shoulder), part of my shirt, my lap, the edge of the table, and down the front of his shirt.
Absolute chaos ensued, it sounded like the apocalypse had started in my classroom. Screams of disgust and panic were heard all over the church as the rest of my class freaked out. Combine these screams with the bangs of chairs being over turned in an effort to get away from the vomitting Nate, the sounds of scriptures being thrown to the side, and the smell of putrid throw up, and you get quite the visual. Proclamations of "EWwwwwwww!!" and "Groooossssssss!!!!" bounced off the walls, reverberating in decibels that mostly dogs can detect. Sarah even yelped "Get him away from me!" and ran to the other side of the room as Nate tried to make his way to the door. All of this was simultaneously happening as I tried to remain calm and get someone to open the door for me, as my hands were full of barf. After what seemed like years, Nate got to the door, his eyes brimming with tears of shame, and his chin still dribbling with chunks of what looked like egg. Finally, we made it out of the classroom and into the hallway.
I led him to the kid's bathroom where he finished harfing and I tried to clean myself up. The whole time Nate bawled and kept saying between heaves "I'm so sorrrrryyyy!!! I'm embarrassed!! They hate meeee!" I tried to calm him down, but it's difficult to show a six year old you don't care they threw up on you when you reek of their stomach acid and your once-white skirt now has a brownish yellow stain on it that's shaped like Alaska.
At any rate, once he was finally finished and was sure another wave of puke wasn't going to come up, we went and found his mom and I returned to class to make sure they hadn't burned the place down. By the time I made it back, sunday school was over and the rest of my class had taken off to go home, leaving me to wipe up the mess. I cleaned it all up, and attempted to air the room out, but I don't think it will be too effective. There's only one window in the upper corner. I just hope it subsides over the course of next week.
As for me, I still smell faintly of throw up, even after a shower. Pungent barf Nate has, I tell you. Always an adventure... can't wait till next Sunday.
User Reviews
Submitted by smokymtcsw (user info) at 2004-01-07 14:49:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Man I cannot see why your well written post was rated this low. It is weird. Have you gone around ripping people like Death Metal Dude for not making sense? That is the only thing I can figure. I have started giving good writers good ratings even if I disagree with their ideology (Loki). You get a good rating despite the fact that from the description of your hair you may well be one of those women who makes their own bread and read Josh Harris in rapt attention thinking you do not believe in dating but only courtship. That is nice you teach sunday school and you are a good writer.
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2004-01-06 23:17:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You cupped your hands under his spewing? If I were teaching that class, I would have been the first one against that back wall saying ''Kids! Get away from him! That's nasty as hell''
Submitted by Dickweed (user info) at 2004-01-02 14:55:09 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
big fucking deal
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2003-11-10 12:58:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Poor thing. Did you get the stain out?
Submitted by Titinita (user info) at 2003-11-09 21:05:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
(CCD means Catholic catechism classes. I taught kindergarten the first year and then first grade.)
Submitted by Titinita (user info) at 2003-11-09 21:00:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Poor little guy. +2 because I miss my little CCD kids.
Submitted by Kristen (user info) at 2003-11-09 20:18:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Yuck, Emily. Bring the kid some scrambled eggs next week!
Submitted by Lady_Emily_03 (user info) at 2003-11-09 20:09:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Ah well, I suppose it could have been a worse mess. I felt bad for the kid more than anything, it was heartbreaking to see him cry over it.
Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2003-11-09 19:36:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Sounds like he needs to be exorcised.
Submitted by Zod (user info) at 2003-11-09 19:23:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Haha, I feel half of your pain and half of Nates. I didn't get made fun of, which was nothing short of a miracle. Poor kid, and poor you. It always happens to the good ones.
Submitted by Terrapin (user info) at 2003-11-09 19:20:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I was on a no-spew streak since I was 5 years old until I was 20!
At work quite often kids and old people randomly throw up everywhere, what is with that? If I feel sick I will stay at home, not go shopping or to Sunday school or what ever it is I was doing that day!
Ewww!!! I hate spew!
Submitted by PizzaEagle (user info) at 2003-11-09 19:18:24 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Sorry but its not very interesting - I'm sure its happened to every teacher of young children in the history of teaching.